Valentine’s dinner: reservations
Looking for a booking at the end of lonely street? There’s not a lot left out there, friends. Red-hot Bear and all the other heavy hitters – Gio, Fid, Chives and the Press Gang – are booked up for Saturday night. But fear not! Some have tables last-minute tables. Or, adjust your plans and go…
Publicly funded Trade Centre investing in partisan politics
Two years ago this week, Coast senior feature writer Stephen Kimber called out Trade Centre Limited for donating $6,691.12 to the provincial Progressive Conservative party: But you won’t believe what TCL has done now. Here’s how Kimber described it in 2007: But perhaps the most intriguing and under-reported political contribution in 2004 came from Trade…
PechaKucha peachy-keen: A fun night of design talk
Halifax joins the international PechaKucha scene. If you’re a curious type, with a love of culture and perhaps a short attention span, you won’t want to miss the city’s first PechaKucha night on Thursday, February 19 at Garrison Brewery (7:30pm, presentations start at 8:20pm, $4). Hosted by local design company Breakhouse, PechaKucha (Japanese for the…
No wonder people can’t get jobs in Halifax…
I just literally went through 95 resumes. I converted them to different formats because the applicants apparently can’t read when our website CLEARLY states “Please send your resume and coverletter in RICH TEXT FORMAT”. I heard from people who are “extemly detailed-oriented”, a guy who apparently can’t decide whether he’s a tech or a chef,…
Tall Ships Shmall Ships
I herd that Tallships are happening again in Halifax this summer 2009. I love the parade of sails but there is little promotion of what Nova Scotia really has to offer including local art and craft. Tourists come from all over and you would expect the tourism industry to encourage local artisans to be around,…
Honestly, who thought Crocs were a good idea?
I can see the future. Summer, 2009. I’m at the beach. Out of nowhere, I catch a glimpse of something big and red, and am quite certain that Ronald McDonald has arrived for a day at the beach. Because who, but a humanoid clown would be interested in strutting publicly in orange foam clogs? The…
Live shot: Buck 65
Buck 65 at IDOW Saturday, January 31, 10:43pm at Palooka’s Gym.
It wouldn’t kill you
To my boss: It wouldn’t kill you to say ‘good morning’ and smile when we come into work each morning. I know you hate your job, but that doesn’t give you the right to make our lives miserable as well. The fact that you do hardly anything all day and expect us to run ourselves…
I NEED A JOB
Why is when we want a need a job we are desparate and why is it when we want a job we can’t find one. I am so sick of being told that I am such a wonderful person but sorry you don’t have enough experience!!! What the fuck is the problem…how is one supposed…
Counter bitches
dear people that bitch about other peoples bitches: BOO HOO TOO YOO TOO that my bitch didn’t satisfy your raging hormones, that you don’t find my bitch enjoyable. FYI: its a BITCH section, so what ever we feel like bitching, read it or don’t read it, just don’t counter bitch me. fucking deal with it.…
Great Things at a discount
Every day the economic forecast seems more and more bleak, and the last thing you want to do is spend a lot of money on the inessential. One option is to check out Great Things in Store (6110 Almon, 406-3051), a thrift shop where a portion of the profits go to support the charitable Parker…
Shoptalk-lets
We’ve heard that area gift shop Cool As A Moose (5110 Prince, 422-0890) picked up and moved to Quebec City, where moose are often even cooler than here, wearing sunglasses and shit, speaking fluent French. You know what, we might smirk or sneer, but who doesn’t enjoy seeing a dog dressed up? Three Dog Bakery…
You are the cutest
This is to my cat: You are the cutest thing ever. I’ve only had you for 5 months, but you’re one of my best friends. I can’t understand how you went homeless for so many years. You don’t claw the furniture, jump on counters, or beg for our dinner. You welcome us home at night.…
ACT YOUR AGE
This bitch is to the man and woman who were at the library this morning on top of each other in the corner doing it. HAVING SEX IN PUBLIC IS ILLEGAL. —SHOCKED BY THIS.
Not our fault
I don’t understand why people freak out at employees when something isn’t working. If a machine is broken, a) we ARE aware of it, b) we realize it IS a big inconvenience for you, but c) we have NOTHING to do with it– that is our manager’s job. And sometimes, the replacement process can take…
Expect my Med bills if I fall!
To the slum lord of the apartment building: NOT ONCE this winter have you cleared the walk in front of your building. How disrespectful of you to leave this section of sidewalk uncleared which has left myself and may others in the neighborhood, many elderly, to walk on the street around and down a precariously…
Zuppa cast: Stewart Legere hurts his foot
The show must go on with Stewart Legere (top right on piano). Last week Tara Thorne wrote our cover story about Zuppa Theatre’s new production Poor Boy and their unusually organic creative process. This week Zuppa received a new challenge, as actor Stewart Legere, who plays pop star Sherman Oakes, hurt his ankle during a…
Bouncers who think they are GOD!
Every bouncer I have ever encountered at a bar or club is a complete fuck tard. For some reason they think they are at the pinnacle of human existence. It’s like working the door at a club is something I should want to be doing. Bouncers need to stop acting like they are movie stars…
To the morons protesting at the Canard Centre
That pathetic attempt you made at the job fair received nothing but blank stares. Shouting out a bunch of generalizations about war, Lockheed Martin and weapon profiteering doesn’t make you enlightened about the ‘evil’ corporations ruling our world, it makes you look like a naive University student hyped up on emotions, false idealism and general…
Hey Asshole!!!
Hey Jerk!! You hurt my friend. The next time you think to date someone maybe you should make sure that you have your head together first. Anyway, you just let the best thing that could ever happen to you walk away. She deserves better anyhow. Good luck with your international fuck. —Don’t Mess With My…
You wish
You guys think your so slick in your ugly striped vests, well let me break the bad news… YOUR not! Standing on the front steps like you own the place, YOU dont! Nice try but im onto you! Taking money from older folks… and having the nerve to call them tips!! you cant be serious.…
You wish
You guys think your so slick in your ugly striped vests, well let me break the bad news… YOUR not! Standing on the front steps like you own the place, YOU dont! Nice try but im onto you! Taking money from older folks… and having the nerve to call them tips!! you cant be serious.…
You wish
You guys think your so slick in your ugly striped vests, well let me break the bad news… YOUR not! Standing on the front steps like you own the place, YOU dont! Nice try but im onto you! Taking money from older folks… and having the nerve to call them tips!! you cant be serious.…
Toronto Metro fires entire staff of writers
From the Globe & Mail: Free daily, and free writers A Toronto free daily newspaper has laid off all of its staff writers – but it won’t be without copy for its pages because it will be using non-paid interns instead. Metro, which has published in Toronto since 2000, terminated four unionized staff writers last…
Write it down: fundraiser at the Fed
Authors are hot-blooded creatures. And they’re also generous. On Valentine’s Day, look for a writerly named event, Raise the Heat, Raise your Voice, Raise the Fun(ds) Kitchen Party, at the Writer’s Federation (1113 Marginal, 7pm, $10 suggested minimum donation, with receipt). The money raised will help out writer Joanne Taylor who has been diagnosed with…
To all employers:
I recently moved to Halifax to take a course and look for work. I started out applying for jobs relating to my degree, but quickly gave that up and am now looking for just about anything at which I can earn more than minumum wage. To date I have heard back from a single employer…
~la de da~
I don’t know what people are thinking or what possible music they could be listening to while they walk as if they are in a state of euphoric and transleucent semi-comatosis, but MOVE FASTER you dumb fucks! Especially if there are 2+ people on the sidewalk and you can hear me shuffle my feet behind…
Psycho Drivers in Halifax
Dear Assholes who drive down Robie St as if it was a Nascar track, There are people who actually (gasp!) live on Robie between Cunard St. and Quinpool. Just because the lanes get wider between these streets DOES not give you the license to drive like a maniac. Some people actually still walk in this…
It’s like the Playboy Channel in your room at night.
Dear guy I live with, Listen, it’s great that you’re now in a relationship. You’re happier, it’s a good relationship, things are happening for you. Fantastic. I have no objections to that. What I DO have an objection to is hearing you two screwing in the middle of the night, and having the whole thing…
Please
Please shut the air conditioner off that runs over my head. Everyday blowing colder air then outside. I wear a sweater and a jacket and have a bag taped to my ceiling. I huddle over a cup of tea or coffee for the warmth. This office was clearly not meant to be the size it…
Dirty Hippies
Why are the Hippie kids in this town so damn oily. Seriously, they are so shiny and self righteous it’s not even funny. Time to shave and bath Moonbeam! —EAT MEAT!
Tenant Troubles
I’m a wee bit sick of listening to people who rent bitch about their circumstances. Your landlord won’t let you have a dog? Boo hoo. The other tenants hog the laundry facilities? Cry me a river. You have to realize that when you live in someone else’s house, you have to abide by their rules.…
Thanks a lot, you inbred fuck!
Sitting in my car in a parking lot in Hfx. the other evening. This car pulls up into the spot beside me. Mr. Inbred opens the door, lets it go and it slams into my side. Ok….accidents happen. But at east have some respect and apologize for doing it! Don’t just look at me and…
sick of working for an idiot
its hard to take you seriously as a DM when you constantly have nothing of value to tell or teach me. — enough
grow a set/get a life
to the person who thought posting about someones cheating in a psst was in good form, I would like you to know your a coward and childish. If you were a good friend to either you would have brought your issues up face to face instead of attempting to embarrass or shame them over the…
Lamenatation of Donairs Past
Oh, Donair why do you tease me with your sweet, garlicy goodness? Then, when I indulge in thee, you smite me with disgusting onion and garlic breath that perverts my entire being for the next 2 days? I was even denied entry into the queen’s room because of the scent of evil that you create.…
Friday night randomness…
To the girl on Friday night on Spring Garden Road, you were doing a scavenger hunt with a lot of people, you had to kiss me for 5 seconds in front of CIBC and HMV. Made my night, ha ha :). Wish i would run into you again The guy in the green striped jacket
Knight in Snowy Armour
Thank-you Richard. ~~~* Grateful Girl on Brunswick
Friday night randomness…
To the girl on Friday night on Spring Garden Road, you were doing a scavenger hunt with a lot of people, you had to kiss me for 5 seconds in front of CIBC and HMV. Made my night, ha ha :). Wish i would run into you again The guy in the green striped jacket
La Cave reborn as La Cueva
Don’t worry, they will do cheesecakes. But otherwise, there will be a great deal that is different this time out, when La Cueva (Spanish for The Cave) opens at 5244 Blowers on Friday, February 13. “We’re just renting the property,” says La Cueva manager Anthony Smith, who walked in there was a new plan for…
Street charity nixed
Remember Bill 7? The Nova Scotia legislature passed Bill 7 on December 13, 2007, and it became law on April 1 of last year. Bill 7 did many things, but among them was clause 13 (of 27), which amended the Vehicle Act by adding to Section 173 a part A. Subsection (1) now reads: No…
huh??
I thought that panhandlers were no longer aloud to be asking motorists for money while they are on the road trying to pay attention to traffic???? Why the hell are they back at robie/quinpool and even on North at every damn light!!! Yes i feel bad for you.. yes its a shame you have to…
Rich kids going on “adventures”
You know what f-cking makes me so damn mad? Bloody rish ass kids globe trotting around the world thinking that they are so “adventurous” taking trips funded entirely by their parents. They go to obscure places like Peru, Thiland etc. and live these minimalist “close to nature” lifestyles for a week or two and pat…
To the Idiot in the Truck on the Prospect Road Last Sat. Nite
Thanks for dropping that wooden crate that I could not avoid and crashed into. I could hear something dragging and pulled over. It was a fucking metal box with live ammo shells in it. Big fucking shells. If I hadn’t picked them up, some kid might try to set it off or something. —Goddamn Inbreds…
im going to get this off my chest
Fuck going Green It is a huge inconvenience with all of these new trates of going green. Yes the planet is falling apart and blah blah blah but us little NS isnt going to make a big diffrence! So i say Bring on the plastic bags and whoa i am going to get bitched at…
SHUT UP
If you want to have some family time or bond with your friends OUT LOUD stay at home and watch a dvd. You’re lack of respect for those who go early …sit where they enjoy the movie and pay hard earned money hoping to enjoy a Sunday afternoon completely erks me! It’s not like you’re…
best of guide
How come the best of guide has very little Dartmouth stores in it? Don’t Dartmouth residents read The Coast? —ns.smartass
snow covered sidewalks
So who’s idea was it to start using gravel on the sidewalks instead of road salt. Yah thats great as long as the all mighty car has a clear path on the f-in road who give a sh** about the poor low income folk who have to walk. J-asses running this city should be put…
I heart My Bloody Valentine
Chocolate causes zits, flowers are sprayed with pesticides and you’ll never get a restaurant reservation anyway, so why not show that special lady/dude how you feel by taking them to a special Thrillema screening of My Bloody Valentine, this Thursday, February 12 (Empire Cinema 6, 650 Portland, 9pm). Of course, in Thrillema style they’re showing…
Got milk?
I drink milk because I like it. Four liters of milk here costs pretty much 8 bucks. In other cities around Canada it’s $4.50-$5.50. In mega-expensive Fort Mcmurray it’s only 4 bucks. Around the world it is also much cheaper than here. I don’t understand it. People go mental over the price of gas which…
Neighbourly Advice
To the brand-new, month old, tenants directly below me. Here’s some tips on how to be a better neighbour. 1. Turn your bloody heat down! I know where you came from it’s 30 degrees in the shade, but here in Canada, we usually keep the heat set around 20 in the winter. I can’t turn…
the saddest thing
you lied to me, mainly because you don’t know yourself at all (though you claim to.. guess some more sitting is in order). and now you have, literally, broken my heart. happy valentine’s day. —inside out
Picky eaters go home!!!
Here’s to the two lame asses that ate at my Thai restaurant recently, 1st guy: Thai food is spicy. If you can’t handle spice why the fuck did you go to a Thai restaurant? 2nd guy: When you ask for your meal to be spicy don’t complain that it’s too spicy. There are plenty of…
Lazy Fucker
To the lazy fucker that couldn’t be bothered to clean the ice and snow off of your car…as I was driving up the magazine hill Friday evening the massive sheet of ice on your roof that you couldn’t be bothered to clean off came off on it’s own, right on top of the hood of…
The Paranormal Formal brings the spirit of Valentine’s Day to the room
May I have this dance? It’s no secret that I love the otherworldly. Homemade séances, Ouija boards, psychics; I can’t get enough of it. The Khyber’s Paranormal Formal on Friday the 13th (10pm, $5) is like a lucid dream come true. With promises of palmistry, tea reading, games, prizes and solid jams from DJ Innez…
deux fm discounted
deux fm’s bamboo and organic cotton jacket Anna Gilkerson and her chic fashion label deux fm prove that dressing ethically doesn’t mean dumpy (thank god), and you don’t have to break the bank either. This weekend (February 14-15, noon-5pm), deux fm is having a big sale, hosted at The Hub (1673 Barrington, second floor), the…
NOT Art!
Dear HRM “taggers”: Tagging is not art and it never will be. Any idiot can write his/her own name on something but that doesn’t make any signature a piece of artwork. What you’re doing is creating eyesores in the city. Really, you are. No matter how much your stoner/drunk friends “think” it looks cool it…
Don’t You Friggin See Us
By us I mean those of us who are moving things, either carrying or wheeling things in and out of places. You know who you are, standing in the way, yakking to your friends oblivious to those of us trying to make a living, then have the gall to ask “Am I in the way”.…
Stand Off Arsehole
This stupid, self-indulgent fucker held Highway 7 up for seven hours yesterday with his fucking foolishness, wasting valuable police resources. They should present this retard with a honking big invoice for time he wasted. — Notice How It’s Only Men Who Do Fucking Stand-Offs????
T`anks, Lovers and Bitchers
Jeez, I love the bitch column. I read it and suddenly, the guy who nearly misses my head with his dog-ball flinging device as I’m coming up the trail around a corner at Point Pleasant and his high-speed OCD Lab in hot pursuit — suddenly that all seems like small potatoes. Other people have bigger…
Quinpool/Robie Phone Finder
To the incredibly good-hearted samaritan that discovered my cell phone in the snow on the corner of Quinpool and Robie on Friday night … you are fantastic and I really just wanted to express my thanks. I called you at 3am and you answered to tell me you had it and dropped it off at…
Viki
Thank you for making sure I always have something nice to eat and tea to wash it down with. Thank your for doing the dishes, washing the laundry, and making sure our pets are taken care of when I’m not around. Sometimes it seems like I take you for granted but I don’t. My fault…
Sunday Morning Lovin’
On my way to grab my Sunday morning coffee today in downtown Dartmouth. Feeling a bit cranky due to lack of caffeine, the light turns green and I start to get a little pissed when the cars in front of me don’t immediately go. Leaning my head out the window to see what the hold…
Fabulous Dog-Owners
I narrowly avoided stepping in dog poo on a sidewalk in the South end this morning. Simultaneously I thought: “Ew!” and “This is the first time I have seen dog poo in the snow this winter!” Thanks to all of you fabulous dog-owners who pick up after your friends. I’m loving your respect of others,…
Gentleman at SMU
I’m always surprised at the small amount of people who hold the door for me and others. To the kind young man at SMU today who held the door for me twice and smiled at me: Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful day. Grateful fellow student
Halifax’s schizophrenic approach to tearing down the Cogswell Interchange
We’ve got a schizophrenic city government. On the one hand, we’ve got city council moving forward (if slowly) with plans to demolish the Cogswell Interchange. As the staff report to this week’s council meeting explains: It is recommended that HRM Council: 1) approve the issuance of an RFP for consulting services to produce a detailed…
To the driver of the red Toyota, Bayers Rd, Sunday afternoon
I saw you see me. I saw you say something to your buddy, and laugh. I watched you speed up as you veered toward the huge puddle on the road beside where I was walking. Your intention was obvious. Trapped on the sidewalk by the snowbank to my left and unable to get out of…
SMU’s laundry skills
To the guy who owns nothing but wool sweaters apparently: you probably shouldn’t wait about a year and a half to do your laundry and then expect to get it all done in one trip to the laundry room. It serves two entire residences there bud, you’re going to have to wait. And furthermore: thanks…
“worse than hookers”
youre pathetic! who are you to judge them? you don’t know them. mindless “shopaholics” like you are actually worse then “hookers” and youre way below the panhandlers. they actually enliven our sgr with culture, music and alternative life styles. with out them our streets would be filled with mindless scum like you, what an effing…
daily newspaper declines comment by self
there is a daily paper in our town that seems to be avble to print comments on some things,but not thheir pets(i.e;polititions)time and again,i have made other comments,worse than the one i made today.and 99% got printed,i was one of the first on there in the a.m.,about 6:30 a.m.,and no where does it appear.others after,sure.this…
Walking the streets and getting dirty looks.
To the city public works snow plow who gives me a dirty look for walking on the street, because the city hasn’t plowed the street — well isn’t thatr just the cutest thing. Jackass! I know you’re muttering in your little vehicle, well I’m full out swearing on my end. Fuck you and your little…
ketchup or plain?
whats with flavorless ketchup chips?? i want KETCHUP damn it not plain with a hint of tomatoe flavor!! Not one chip in the bag is even red! —betcha i dont wanna eat one..
pot and kettle
Dear grammar policing Bitch mocker who posted in the “love the way we love” section. I know you enjoy poking fun at the atrocious spelling of others, however perhaps you should correct your own grammatical errors before submitting your bitch. Now where is my red pen? “Dear Bitchers, Some of you are so funny. I…
Dearest HRM
I was trying to tolerate your general failure to clear the snow/ice from my side street, I was almost not bothered too badly… But why in the fuck did you have to ruin the ONLY sleep in day I had in the last two weeks?? By sending a bunch of trucks, tractors, and a backhoe…
Saturday is Laundry Day
Dear Neighbors: It’s a small, four unit building, with one washer and one dryer. Everyone in this building has at least one family member home 24/7. Except me. Everyone in my family is at work or school all day monday to friday. So tell me why it is that you fuckers feel the need to…
Love The Way We Love DETAILS
Hey Love The Way We Lovers This week in the paper we have something called “Free Love,” where you can send your Valentine’s Day wishes to your significant others, snoogams and pumpkins. Here at Love The Way We Love, we want your tales of good karma from the city and from strangers. We don’t mind…
Dear “Hue”
This week while returning home from work I was unfortunate enough to see your lovely artwork spraypainted on the side of the synagouge on the corner of Oxford and Pepperell. As profound as you think the words “Fuck the Police” are, the side of a building where people gather to express their faith is not…
Apartment Parkers
I’m sure that this has been said a hundred times. But, whatever. To those fuckers who come to visit people who live in the building, park in the space of whomever you’re visiting. NOT MY SPACE. I don’t care if someone is already in the space you intended to park your shit beater in. You…
Theif
To the Dick that kicked my door in to break into my appartment, then stole my laptop and rings. Thanks Alot. All the pics and videos of my son since he was born, where on that computer. So now when he gets older and asks why I don’t have pics of him when he was…
#20 bus driver
I would like to confirm that this may not be directed to ALL #20 bus driver’s, but to the one who continuously drives off-schedule out on Herring Cove road … I have been an appreciative and patient passenger that is seriously frustrated with the fact that even when I arrive 5-8 min. early at my…
Idiot Drivers
On the Bedford Hwy this morning I had the stupid old prick stick his nose have way out in the lane trying to get on the road. This idiot was right beside a snow bank on a turn where he couldn’t see a God Damn thing, this is in a 70km zone. I had to…
All we hear is radio GAGA
Why with all these radio stations do we still have shit on the radio. It was almost better before all these new stations came along. Now we have all these choices but its still the same repetitive shit. — I want my MP3
Here’s your tip…
If you want so much as a nickel from me beyond what I pay for food/drinks, you have to earn it. If you can’t so much as offer me a hello and a smile I find it hard to hand you a nickel that was never handed to me. So don’t growl at me because…
Help, please
To the women who makes all of our already annoying class changes and transcript requests even harder. You are a lazy-assed bitch who for some reason thought she could work in a HIGH SCHOOL without having to speak to teenagers and help them and let alone the GUIDANCE office. I realize that there are probably…
Market Loiterers
To the Saturday morning market-goers, we know it’s a cutthroat world out there when you’re trying to scoop that last piece of baby bok choy, but while you’re espousing your free trade and “buy local” rhetoric could you at least pick up after yourselves. And while you’re getting off your high horse, could you move…
To the psychohose beast downstairs
You slam doors and scream at your teenage deviant all day and night long, I can’t even hear my television over your crackwhoring voice. I got fed up and banged on the floor, and you go OFF. You come upstairs and berate me. When I shut my door in your face, you took that as…
What is up with that single ply toilet paper that breaks after each sheet?
I wish the restaurant didn’t have a bathroom. I love their toasty morsels at lunch time but when it comes time too pee I have to scratch at the wheel of periodically perforated tissue paper for about a half an hour before i get a mini wad big enough to absord the 3 drips still…
It’s all over now
So it was nice, you know. Those years you told me you’d always be there for me. We had some good times. Like, ohyeah, remember that time we went through that rough patch, but we got through it, and you said things would be different. that’s what you said. they were different for like five…
Cold Ducks
To all the ducks who were overfed this summer by people, so they decided to stay here all winter long, I love you, please don’t die. I walk by and see you all huddled together like penguins sitting on the snow, thinking like we do about how nice it much be down south. It’s our…
To the man with the never ending supply of change…
Shout out to the nicest business owner in the downtown district! The owner of the Kwick Wash Laundromat on Clyde is always friendly, courteous and helpful. He definitely helps to make the painful task of doing our laundry much more tolerable, and dare we say, even pleasant at times. Thanks for being a friendly face…
Trethenburger
Just wait a little bit longer! I promise. I love you and can’t wait until we get out of this cat dump and get our own place. <3 Tikenheim
The Lovely Lady at the Dalhousie Bookstore
To that crazy but kind-hearted lady who sits at customer service in the Dal Bookstore. You make our day! You always have a smile on your face and a kind word to say. I hope you find your prince charming. Keep on smiling!!! Fan
LOVE HURTS!
To the one I love. We are so different, and have such different beliefs. However lame this may sound, everytime I look at you, or just one of your soft touches my heart hurts with love. You have given me the greatest gift of all, a child. Some would say a child can tear a…
What did we do before the internet ?
Dear interweb : D, You are awesome, I have the world at my fingertips because of you. Thank you for your hilarious YouYube videos, for making me laugh, and your random bits of useless information. Thank you for entertaining me at work because fuck knows what I would do with out you. Thank you for…
SO LONG HELLIFAX
I have never been happier than the day I packed up my shit and LEFT. —Bitcher
Hey Asshole
I spent three humiliating years with you. Taking your abuse and vulgar words… Take some classes on how to treat females… You said you loved me, yea everybody but me… Next time I will treat you the way you treat me… You abuse humiliated me… I can’t believe I spent three years with an abusive…
OWNERS OF SHITTY APARTMENTS
To the owners or whoever makes the rules… Fuck you and your cat only buildings… Let the rest of us suffer it out when we have dogs… People wonder why there are so many dogs in shelters or being put down.. BECAUSE of you morons who prefer your lazy ass cats to the companionship only…
Make Up Your Mind
I know you have your relationship baggage but seriously please stop messing with my heart and my head.Either you want me or you don’t.If I don’t measure up then for the love of god just let me go. — I can’t make you love me
Cranking up Turbine
Fans of Turbine clothing no have longer to make the trip to Falmouth, or wait for the annual sale at the Westin Hotel, as owner Lisa Drader-Murphy has opened Turbine Boutique in Bishop’s Landing (1475 Lower Water). “Our clients have been asking for years,” says Drader-Murphy, who you might recognize from a recent Come to…
Juno nominees announced
Hometown boys This week The Canadian Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences announced the nominees for The 2009 JUNO Awards. Which is fine, really. But here’s the part I have a problem with: “We’re pleased to inform you that the following artists from Halifax have received 2009 JUNO Award nominations: Plants and Animals, new group…
It’s not easy being green
Yesterday morning, while walking in Bayers Lake, I had to cross the street at an intersection with one of those pedestrian activated walk signals. You know, if you don’t press the button, the walk signal never comes up even when the light turns green, and it’s actually illegal to cross the street. Unfortunately, the pole…
CORALINE SCARED MY CAT
HOLY SHIT MY CAT WENT INTO CARDIAC ARREST AFTER WATCHING CORALINE IN 3D!!!!!!!! WTF BUNGIE!!!! SKARY SHIITE —coraline = bitch witch hoe master deLUXE 3000
Just cause I don’t wear Lululemon
To the track coach at the Dalplex last night, we saw the freaking sign, we know the track was booked for your lululemon wearing runners, we were just getting our water, chill the eff out. —regular runner
Love Vs Hate
I went on LTWWL today for the first time (honest) and their posting there about us bitchers! Where do they get off? All sentimental and appreciative and shit… —Former lurker who recently grew a set.
Toothless Wonders
This isn’t so much a bitch as it is an amusing/distressing observation. I am unfamiliar with the behind the scenes’ workings of television news. As a result I am left wondering if the editors or directors for the various local TV news programs edit the clips in order to make sure only the toothless halfwits…
Best of Being makes you feel good all over
Alison McCallum calls herself a traditional family doctor, having worked at the Duffus Street Medical Centre since 1983. As health care evolved over the years she found her clinic was being booked up weeks in advance and people going to walk-in clinics or ERs for urgent care. “I found I was chasing patients after they…
The One Who Makes it All Worthwhile, A.B.
The idea of cliche love is something that I was well aware of but obviously that’s not our story at all…and thank goodness for that. I hope you know that you mean the world to me and that every day I love you a little more. You’re everything I wanted and more, thanks for being…
To the man who said he was “intrigued”
To my superstore guy, Thanks for actually talking to me! How rare is it to have an actual conversation with a cashier these days? You make my day every time – the whole two times we’ve met even though I go every week! & What d’you want for your bday? PS. I did just fine…
The One Who Makes it All Worthwhile, A.B.
The idea of cliche love is something that I was well aware of but obviously that’s not our story at all…and thank goodness for that. I hope you know that you mean the world to me and that every day I love you a little more. You’re everything I wanted and more, thanks for being…
Black Cat coffee at the Smiling Goat
Coffee aficionados: Saturday morning, I want you to switch your taste buds to turbo. Go to the Smiling Goat and strap yourself in. Wear a hemet with a swizzle straw, because Goat owner Smilin’ Geoffrey Creighton tells me that starting tomorrow, he’s unleashing Chicago-based Intelligentsia coffee into the Halifax consumer market. Intelligentsia’s s Black Cat…
smargles.
you know what needs to suck something hard and salty? school. ihateit. bitchmail express to my asshole classmateys: EFFUU!!!! —fed fed up.
Hey all you Haligoonians
I find myself avoiding the bus more than usual lately. The reason for this lies in recently taking notice of the rude motherf*ckers on the bus who do not give up their seats for anyone. When someone who is blind gets on the bus, give your seat to them. When someone with a young child…
“Hello how are y..”, “FINE.”
I work in a retail store and I hate dealing with rude fuckin zombies. I ask how you are this morning, politely as can be. and instead of “oh fine how are you?” or some cheesy mark about the weather conditions, I constantly get “good” in the bitchiest way and then clothes slammed on the…
LTWWB = Love The Whiney Women Bitching … about their breakups
Since when did this turn into a discussion group to bash boyfriends for breaking up with you. What happened to the good ole meatey bitches… instead of these “omfg, he broke up with me booo fucking hoo” Give me some entertainment people. —Ustwess
Expired elevator permit, Dept of Public Works
What’s wrong? Expired elevator permit, Department of Public Works building, 1723 Hollis. Who’s responsible? Steve Noade, elevator inspector, Department of Labour and Workforce Development, 424-5721. Remarks: “In a perfect system, they should have their renewals in prior to year-end,” says Noade of elevator permit holders. But, sadly, this is an imperfect world, and so people…
Yes, your band can open for KISS
KISS may not appear exactly as shown Halifax Rocks 2009 is giving you a chance to realize a lifelong dream of getting to welcome KISS to the stage. If you want a shot at fame, glory or getting a possible high five from Gene, submit your band for consideration via Sonicbids at www.sonicbids.com/halifaxrocks
Hey! Fingernails!
I try not to bite you, but then when you start to get long, you break. Make up your damn mind! Do you want to be long or do you want to be short? You don’t have the luxury of having it both ways! —Ninja Turtle Fingers for life
They teach you that in business school?
Last week I went with my girlfriend to a certain general store in downtown Halifax. The girlfriend was looking for a shirt or something. A salesperson was helping her. The whole time the owner was talking to the salesperson about this, that, and the other, to do with the store. She never said a word…
Universal child care benefit
I’m a new Mom. I get a small amount of money each month in child tax from the government. I was surprised when they sent me a nice cheque for $100 for Universal Child Care Benefit. Babies are expensive, I’ll take help where I can get it. The other day I got a benefit statement…
Thanks for the cold feet asshole
Dear winter boots, I know we’ve only been together a short time, but I really liked you. You and I looked good together and you kept me warm on those chilly nights. I don’t know what I did to offend you, but I don’t appreachate you “breaking” up with me. One minute we’re fine and…
omfgwtfbbq
You know you really abused my trust when I was gone. But I got over it, you have yet to come to that conclusion. I find it amusing that although you are intelligent you arent that smart. You seem to think I have a vendetta against you. It doesnt exist, I greet you when we…
Put up a parking lot!
To the editor, In reference to the winter parking ban, I personally am at wits’ end. Halifax is robbing us blind with parking tickets this winter season! I understand that snowplows need to get through, but my shelling out $300 this season doesn’t solve the problem. My past four years here taught me that there…
Car idling figureheads
To the editor, I was excited to see the big, fancy, flag-waving car pulling up half in front of my house and half in front of the church next door February 1. “Wheeeee,” I said to myself as lieutenant governor Mayann Francis was escorted from the car and disappeared behind the walls of the house…
Hope to not hear from you again!
Do you realize why you’re single? It’s because you don’t know how to talk to/treat women properly. You are a total douchebag! I don’t hear from you in months but then suddenly you send me emails in the last couple weeks. And in those emails, you say something along the lines of ‘do you want…
Put The Dishes Away
I think im the only one that hates this but here it goes. To all those people out there like my G.F at home, and the guys at work in the lunch room. When you wash the dishes in a standard double sink can you please wash in one sink, rinse in the other, dry…
Parking lot theif
To the assholes that keep breaking into cars on the waterfront I hope you die. When you broke into the truck on Wednesday, did you notice the passports, and my FUCKING GREEN CARD!! Do you know how hard that is to fix. I came back to halifax for a a funeral and what i get…
Persian diversion
When I reviewed Shiraz, the little purple bunker at the south end of Hollis, I promptly fell in love with Persian food. Each time I toted my lunch out of this impossibly tiny restaurant, I wished the place was bigger and closer to home. It seems Shiraz owner Ebby Gholami was thinking along the same…
Facing the music
Jason MacIsaac and David Christensen have collaborated for over a decade, but they don’t write songs together. “We each take half,” says MacIsaac. “I don’t want to be absolute about that, but that tends to be the case. Certainly Dave arranges a lot of my contributions to Zuppa, but he writes his stuff and I…
In Search of a Midnight Kiss
“Just answer me this one question: Did you or did you not trim your pubic hair before we met?” lonely screenwriter Wilson (Scoot McNairy) asks Vivian (Sara Simmonds), the New Year’s Eve date he’s just met through Craigslist, in indie rom-com In Search of a Midnight Kiss. When Vivian feigns indignation, Wilson presses the point—and…
6 Years & Counting
I just wanted to let you know that i remembered this year without any reminders from anyone 😀 Also that i love you very much! Happy Valentine’s Day bum, xoxo Someone Special 😉
Neil Gaiman’s glory
Those that are familiar with Neil Gaiman’s fanciful, fairytale, dreamy, literary oeuvre are equally familiar with the various cinematic incarnations of his work. But the most significant is the upcoming Coraline, directed by The Nightmare Before Christmas’ Henry Selick, followed by 2007’s Stardust by Matthew Vaughn (director of Layer Cake and a producer of Guy…
yup. it’s true.
There’s just no denying it. No point. No point whatsoever. Nope. It doesn’t matter what anyone says. It doesn’t matter what the rational brain tells me. It’s simply how I feel. I love ya. I love ya, I love ya, I love ya. People can have shortcomings. And be loveable. Just get your shit together…
Coraline and The Uninvited
Coraline and The Uninvited share a sensibility of odd-girl nightmares—a sense that the world isn’t really the simple place one’s parents and peers believe it to be. It’s the movies’ trajectories that are so different. Without giving the specifics of their endings away, Coraline is about a girl coming out of her shell, and The…
Bitchers we love
Dear Bitchers, Some of you are so funny. I love your funny names. Like Farts Mahoney. Where do you come up with this stuff? Thanks for being so creative and grouchy. Bitch lurker. PS. Don’t ever learn to spell.
In-Flight Safety: Band of brothers
John Mullane A black hoodie fits tight to broad shoulders, a knotted scarf of the same colour shifts from side to side as he talks. John Mullane appears to carry a burden, the weight of many thoughts or worries, both in conversation and on In-Flight Safety’s new album, We Are An Empire, My Dear. When…
Commuting Snowman.
I love whoever built the miniature snowman on the bench in the bus shelter in front of the North Street Sobey’s. You cheered me up after a long day’s work. I gave him a bottle-cap hat to show my appreciation. Abominable
Omon Ra channels space
Omon Ra has a firm grasp on the possibilities of space, both within the music they create and the vast solar system spread out above us. Their unique take on what could be described as blues-tinged folk hybrid—with a healthy dose of experimental bravery to boot—takes equal pleasure in letting spaces within the music breathe,…
To the cab driver that picked me and my son up at Clayton Park today.
I’m a single mom and have to take cabs once and awhile since I have no car. Both my son and I have horrible flu/cold today and so I had to make a trip to get some medicine and ingredients for soup and you picked us up from the grocery store. I just wanted to…
Cuban Assassins, Gone Drinkin’, Hellacaust and Iron Giant
The announcement that The Marquee Club was closing was rather quickly followed up with a chaser of good news—The Paragon Theatre opening in its space for April 1. This still means the closure of Hell’s Kitchen. And that means the loss of a venue for a lot of local and touring bands, primarily those who…
Chivalry is NOT Dead!
On the Sunday evening of the NHL All Star game my co-worker and I were heading home after a shift. When what should happen but her axle breaks in the middle of turning from Queen onto Sackville! To the guy in the white car who let us use his cell for 15 minutes, to the…
This budget is not stimulating
Last week’s federal budget reminded me of the forlorn tramps in Sam Beckett’s Waiting for Godot, especially when Estragon says to Vladimir, “Don’t let’s do anything. It’s safer.” I’m sure those forlorn federal comedians Steve H. and Jim F. spoke words like those in private, but publicly they’re trying to stay in power by pretending…
Jessachu my Love Lobster
Last night you told me you wanted to be with me forever. This morning in the elevator I gave you all of me. Someday I will make a Christmas room with you… maybe this July. And yes, you can have a paintball gun to paint it with. Every step we take feels like the right…
Drive-thru madness
St. John’s city council started 2009 by becoming the first Canadian municipal power to pass a moratorium on drive-thrus. The problem was traffic: inconvenient, hazardous lineups right into the highway, especially around the ever-popular, always fresh Canadian wunderkind, Timmy Hortons. When the moratorium was approved, the mayor, deputy mayor and councillors lined up to proclaim…
Taken
Taken is ridiculous, and sort of fascinating. It plays as a stereotypical extreme of conservative fears of foreign lands and immigration, before enacting death penalty justice. I’m not sure why the movie isn’t called Pimp Killer, which doesn’t dance around its exploitative nature and is a lot catchier. Liam Neeson is Bryan, a divorced security…
Exposed racism
Dear Lezlie Lowe, I thought” your information in “Hidden racism” (Jan. 29, Lowedown) was well-researched and well-written. You brought things to people’s attention that we may not have realized, especially locked-up black hair products in Shoppers Drug Mart. I can understand where Shoppers is coming from. If something is getting stolen 10 times more than…
Final Fantasy
If you are a musician and you want to give props to another musician, perhaps the greatest, most grand way of showing your love is by recording a tribute album. And if you’re Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy), you’ll outdo yourself by hiring an orchestra to back you up. For his new Plays to Please EP,…
The Class
Shot tight like a documentary, rarely straying outside the classroom, Laurent Cantet’s Oscar-nominated The Class straddles a fine line between reality and fiction. Former teacher François Bégaudeau, who also wrote the screenplay and the book upon which this fantastic film is based, plays François Marin, a jocular high school teacher in a working-class Parisian neighbourhood.…
Get internationally involved
Dear Tim Bousquet and your slacker audience, As a local non-profit, we were gleeful to see your Get Involved Guide grace the cover of The Coast last week (Jan. 29). We loved the cliche-resistant tone of the article, which catered to your average semi-apathetic “slackers” looking for info, not the warm-fuzzies. We couldn’t help but notice…
Climate Wars
Thanks to scientific advances, we can predict certain phenomena: lunar eclipses, the orbital periods of comets, the weather in 40 years (to an extent). Predicting politics is a crap-shoot. That’s what makes Gwynne Dyer’s recent book, Climate Wars, so amusing and frustrating. In an attempt to take a crack at the “political and strategic consequences…
Bruce Springsteen
You will not want to like this album. The title, Working on a Dream, is so nakedly optimistic and Obama-ready that it may make your gorge rise. The lyrics aren’t so hot, either. And in his sinewy middle years, Brucey’s voice is more warbly and strained than ever. But then “The Wrestler” will come on…
New in Town
Every now and then, deep thoughts make it into the most half-hearted, formulaic ventures. The initial conflict between the two lovers of New In Town, Renée Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr., culminates in a screaming match over the founders of the USA: were they captains of industry or robber barons? Eventually, complex arguments about nation…
Zuppa powers
On a frigid Saturday afternoon, the cast of Zuppa Theatre’s Poor Boy is gathered in the Neptune Studio, where in four weeks they’ll launch a show that’s changing every day. The set is beginning to come together—long strings through a series of paper sheets, dangling record sleeves, actual vinyl and a suitcase here and there,…
Don Vail
Taking this album as evidence, a grunge revival really has happened. Co-produced by Jordan Zadorozny (Blinker the Star), Don Vail mixes the heavier side of grunge (Alice in Chains, Soundgarden) with punk (Mudhoney, even Nirvana) and pop (Matthew Sweet, Teenage Fanclub) elements. Then there’s the ghost of long-defunct Treble Charger, a once-respectable post-punk/power-pop band that…
He’s Just Not That Into You
As if gaining dating advice was tantamount to cracking mathematical code, the women of He’s Just Not That Into You learn to heed the signs of disinterest from the men in their lives and move on to greener pastures. Fair advice, but the ensemble cast never indicates any sense of growth or wisdom in their…
Harbour solutions
Weird things floating in the waters of city harbours are hardly unusual, so, at first glance, photographs of Doug Guildford’s nets and other sculptural pieces bobbing in the water against the Toronto skyline might not look out of the ordinary. Guildford, a Halifax-raised artist who’s made Toronto his home for 30 years, still strongly feels…
Hellacaust
This offering from the princes of Halifax’s metal scene may have come out on an indie label, but it’s major in every other way. From the pummeling opening of “Whore” through to the guitar heroics that close out “What We Say is Real,” Hellacaust sound like a four-man hell demon. The production on Disgust is…
Ray LaMontagne
Winter is the season for this performer; this album. Gossip in the Grain goes with warming by a fire or looking through a frosty window for signs of life in the white vista. It’s not surprising that LaMontagne does much of his writing and recording deep in the Maine woods. His signature is the rasp—less…
Halifax’s cardboard economy
1. Halifax’s waste system is easy for residents: one green waste bin, recyclables in blue bags and garbage in a regular trash bag. The recyclables are sorted at the Materials Recovery Facility in Bayers Lake, with plastic, glass and paper sent to processors. The MRF sorts about 22,000 tonnes of paper each year; newspaper, cardboard…
Smear tactics
Q: My girlfriend and I are into male-orgasm denial. We’ve recently tried putting Orajel on my cock and then covering it with two condoms so she can use me as a dildo without me getting off or even feeling anything. It works great. Is there any chance of long-term health issues if we do this…
When did elbows replace courtesy?
To the bitch at the Matt Mays concert at the Marquee last weekend who thought the only way she could get her space was to elbow me hard not once, but twice, as i tried to walk by. I said excuse me multiple times but none the less i got a bruised abdomen from just…
Dirty Riches
This goes out to (NOT all, but many) of my fellow students who are greatly, desperately, and disgustingly pursuing careers that coincidentally generate DA CASH FLO. I can understand that you solely volunteer for your application, spend money and time to look good on resumes, and exaggerate your false achievements, but I wish you’d just…
Workplace Hygiene
To my co-worker: You really smell like a dirty dog. All the time. At first, I thought I had morning sickness, but no…your smell is making me gag. Can’t you use some bleach in your laundry or something? PS…Stop leaving your foot long stray pubes on the toilet seat at work. Clearly, you shed like…
karma hates a theif, so does this bitch
to the son of a crack whore who went through my pockets last week while i was in the gym, fuck you. i hope karma rapes you and you contract aids and/or herpes. you know who you are. —bitch in 901
Live shot: Brent Randall and his Pinecones
Live at the North Street Church January 24th
