Sitting in my car in a parking lot in Hfx. the other evening. This car pulls up into the spot beside me. Mr. Inbred opens the door, lets it go and it slams into my side.
Ok….accidents happen. But at east have some respect and apologize for doing it! Don’t just look at me and walk away. Even as I got out to inspect for damage (which there was) you just kept walking as I called you out. Fucking arsehole.
I hope that loogie froze really nice on your window.
—I hate you
This article appears in Feb 5-11, 2009.
Next time some arsewipe does that to you, key the fucker’s car from end to end. He’ll remember that much better than a gob of spit.
or write a nice message on the side of their door in key.
or put a nice brick through a window.
a loogie isn’t going to do much.
Even better, take a couple of toothpicks and snap them off inside each of the door locks and the trunk lock. Just shove them in all the way, pull them back out just a hair, then snap them off and use the leftover piece to shove it all the way into the lock. He’ll have a fun time trying to get his key into the lock, jamming that little piece of toothpick further in every time. Not being able to get into your car and then having to pay hundreds of dollars to replace your locks is a lot more frustrating than a scratch or two. 🙂
Geeze, NW – I’m impressed! That’s pretty clever.
Hey, NW – that’s actually a major prank that pro wrestlers do to each other. I remember watching X-Pac struggle with his rental car after a show once.
That happened to me the other week outside a grocery store in Bedford that sounds like Teep’s Lootique. Bitch in an Acura MDX slammed her door into mine, looked inside the car at me, and walked off. I honked the horn, got out and called her on it. She shrugged and walked off. I opened my door and left a nice dent in her door.
🙂
She didn’t get my plate or anything.
Cunt.
TTFN: Thanks. I picked it up from a friend about 10 years ago and I’ve been carrying a pack of toothpicks in my glove box ever since. I also keep a pair of diagonals (wire cutters) in my glove box too. They’re great for cutting off valve stems. Much more expensive to replace four valve stems than a slashed tire. 🙂
Oh boy. I feel your pain..I really do. We got smashed by some dick in what looks like a big “little man syndrome” truck. They tore off our molding, dented our car so that we couldnt’ open the passenger door, dented our rim to the point where we had to get a new one, and scratched the shit outta the side……do you think we got a note? Nada…Dumb fuck drove off happy to have destroyed another poor person’s 1998 Corolla. ASSHOLE.
however, to have you RIGHT there when they did it and STILL left? what the?? Who breeds these people? I would go with the toothpick idea myself. Classic in the making.
The toothpicks prank is good if they don’t have power locks. Most cars these days have power doors and power trunks so you don’t even need to put a key in. Cutting valve stems is much nicer..but easily repaired. If you really want to get ’em back, best way is to key them, but make sure it’s deep and down to the metal. That way they can’t just get some touch up paint. If you can, get a sharp pointed object (nail) and drive it through the door. Then they to get paint and body work done. Add to that a car rental, so it becomes $$$.
holy snap-n-crap.
I’m always careful getting in and out of my car but me thinks I’ll be taking a little more time and care with you sick fucks out there sabotaging at every turn.
In these situations I prefer to totally boot fuck the entire side of their car…bumper to bumper or my patented full fledged assplant onto the hood of the offending car, make sure you land in the middle…if you don’t hear a decent crunch from inside the engine compartment, you are not doing it right, try harder. Make sure you lift your knees up so it’s all ass hitting first and not the legs spreading out the impact…