Ideal Home Show Opens
For those of you who worship in the church of the middle class’s new religion—Renovation!—you may already be aware that out at Exhibition Park this weekend is the Spring Ideal Home Show, where many of Nova Scotia’s leading suppliers of building products, kitchen and bathrooms, decor, heating supplies and furniture get together to show their…
I don’t believe in magic
To the stabbing pain in my chest. Thanks for reminding me that I have a heart. Now fuck off and leave me alone before I start to think I’m under some sort of horrible trick gone wrong. —Eye Eye Eye
Collar poppin’ meatheads
To those collar-poppin’ gymgoers who do more texting than working out, get off of the fucking machine I’m waiting for. Go find a coffee shop or bar and text there. You’re already dressed the part anyway. —Tired of Waiting
Lovestruck
To the Beautiful Mystery Girl with whom I shared a pool tonight: Here’s hoping we meet again! —Lovestruck?!
University patrol
Why do you idle your stupid vans? You sit outside the SUB every night and you leave your vans running. Stop being so fucking stupid and turn off the car. —Nina Safari
If we don’t buy it, you don’t get paid
What’s with the attitude of the employees of a certain alcohol agency on Agricola? I don’t need judgment. I don’t need your sneers. So what if I’m buying a bottle of gin on a Monday night? If it wasn’t for drinkers like me you shitheads would be out of a job. Just look me in…
Oh waitress!
To the sweet smiling child voiced waitress at The Trellis Cafe: You’re adorable. Great smile, sweet demeanour, excellent walk… I have a major crush! You’re probably married. 🙁 —Just Me
Please pay attention when someone is speaking to you!
Don’t you just love it when you call a shop to verify that they have an item in stock, carefully decsribing the item and brand name to be told that yes, they have said item only to arrive at the store (in the pouring rain) to find that the clerk was referring to a completely…
Dear umbrella
Thank you for being pink and pretty and polka dotty and matching my rain boots perfectly. Thanks for not flipping inside out at all today even though the wind was really strong. A big thank you for being a rather small umbrella instead of a huge one like I see people carrying and for being…
PLEASE STAY AWAY
One or two breaks together a week and everything you say, even though it’s trivial, just makes me want to see…what if? —Taken
Thank you Halifax police
I would just like to thank the lovely bicycle cops for the following: throwing a 15-year-old kid to the ground and ripping his fingernail off. Calling my friend “a skater faggot.” Screaming at a 14-year-old and kicking his backpack and throwing his shoe. All for skateboarding. —There Are No Thieves in This City
“Other duties as assigned” my ass
I sent you an email outlining the “other duties as assigned” that you have piled on me since I started, and why it is impossible for one person to handle them. Since you always say “come with solutions, not problems,” I outlined the ways that our department can reorganize (with very little effort and ZERO…
Bed bugs?
I am very paranoid of bed bugs in Halifax apartments! I checked all over the internet last May (a certain bed-bug warning website that had pinpointed places on maps) before I moved into a 10-floor apartment in the southern point of the south end. I have come to find out it is quite a shitty…
Roundabout answers pose more questions
Once upon a time (March 11, 2010) a thornbird attended a public meeting with respect to Birch Cove/Chinatown Lands, et al. I came away with extreme frustration in a highly agitated state. It was like a “developmental nightmare”. Round-about responses and a rehearsed session of sub-contracted communications given out to the residents and general public.…
Orchid’s Curse Wants Your Voice
Nomnomnomnomnom Local metal death dealers Orchid’s Curse have put out a call asking fans to lend “growls, screams, yells and shrieks” to their upcoming album, Voices: The Tales of Broken Men. As someone who is, admittedly, a huge fan of yelling, this sounds highly therapuetic and also a blast. Fans interested in participating can head…
Anatolia Closes
Their phone has been giving us the busy signal for days. Not good. Yes, we’re sad to report the tasty Turkish cuisine at Anatolia’s is now history. The silver lining in this cloud are the signs in the window that proclaim “Mõda Urban Dining, Opening Soon.”
Susie’s Shortbreads goes mobile
Halifax is going to be seeing a pink cupcake truck on its streets this summer, a heaven-sent cupcake delivery system where you will be able to purchase Susie’s Shortbreads (1589 Dresden Row, 221-7075) fresh baked treats at varying locations around HRM. The locations are still to be announced, but Susie’s is hoping to have the…
CCPA to NDP: Don’t panic over deficit
CCPA Alternative Budget aims to cut deficit while strengthening social programs
Paul F. Tompkins is all grown up
I felt calm and collected the night I spoke with Paul F. Tompkins. A few days earlier, I’d read an interview with the former Mr. Show and Best Week Ever comic where he was calm and self-deprecating. His manager told me to call him at midnight Halifax time on a Friday night, which wasn’t great,…
Thanks!
To all my close personal friends: Well, you were right. She was out of my league. It’s just nice to know that you all have such a high opinion of me…especially those who never met her. Just great to feel so fuckin’ beloved! To her royal highness: Rejection I can take. Trust me, that’s not…
HST Scam
As a resident of Nova Scotia for the past 15 years, I have sat and watched the Nova Scotian government change from bad to worse, and this is the worst. It’s time for us to act and demand change: if we don’t, nothing will change. The government wants to take that federal two percent tax…
Teacher Evaluation Day
Are you kidding me? March break was just last week and now this week my daughter doesn’t have school on Friday because teachers have an evaluation day? Heaven forbid they used one of their days last week as an evaluation day, wouldn’t that make sense? They complain about the amount of days students miss due…
Street love
This is to the blonde girl who was on the metro ferry the other day who saw that I was upset and sat down next to me and made me smile: Even though it was completely random it was a kind gesture and it made my not so bearable day a little more bearable. —Lonely…
You were the warmth of my winter
To Cargo and James tea shop and its kind employees: you were the warmth of my winter and I miss you very much. It was a dream come true that my first apartment was three doors down, and waking up with you, well, the pleasure was mine. From the Chocolate Ginger, to Cinnamon Kiss, oh,…
Cheers to you, Broo
Today you were bummed, but you should know that when you smile I start to glow you say I’m great but so are you when you’re around I just want to… say cheers to you and all your ways, the ones that leave me happy dazed you’re worth more than you’ll ever know did I…
Rob Benvie can’t sing
Thanks to Joel Plaskett for going solo cause Rob Benvie can’t sing worth shit! —A Patron of the Arts
Nice view of the water from here
Tower #2 of the three towers has had cockroaches since we moved here in September. When we moved in we specifically stated our concerns over past issues of bed bugs. One week later we noticed roaches crawlin’ out of the sinks and in the laundry room downstairs. Please, do not give them any of your…
I love you universe
When one door closes, you open a window—that’s awesome. Things can totally suck, then, all of a sudden, they don’t anymore. I don’t know how you do it, but I sure do love it. —Pronoiac
Dear Spring Garden coffee shop
You play the shittest music I have ever heard in my entire life. And why so loud?! Seriously, I can hear those awful wonky country sounds over top the blasted music playing in my headphones. Why?! Play something decent or turn that shit down! —Going Deaf
Poor pigeon
Dear Cunard Street: there has been a dead pigeon in your gutter for the last week. It makes me sad when I walk by and see a wing sticking out over the edge, and some of the other pigeons are getting upset. —Always Homing and Never Home
If you threw a party, invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the car attached would say
Thank you for being a friend! It was so great to get together with you. I’d missed our jams and chats. I think you’re kind and talented and sincere and you deserve all the happiness in the world. Stay sweet! —Legs
A little political love
Oh my does that hybrid bus refresh me. Every time I spot it cruising the city, I get a cute little flutter of progress in my chest. I’m not really in the political know, but I have noticed how rarely the city’s politicians get any love, so here’s a gratuitous smidgen from one happier city-zen…
NO HST HIKE!
The NS government is considering an two percent hike in the HST. They are going to backfill the two percent reduction in the GST that was given to us so graciously by the federal government over the last few years. ENOUGH. People are complaining that they don’t want tax hikes or services reduced. THERE ARE…
Shopping selection sucks
I’ve been looking all over this city for some damn wholesale suede. It’s impossible to find; all that seems to be available is suede that has already been made into a product I don’t want to spend extra for. Why does shopping for raw goods have to be so damn hard Halifax??!! —Crafty Shaft
Vogue Optical Open House
The north end location of Vogue Optical (6100 Young Street) is having an open house spring launch event, with both wine and cheese promised, along with “exciting door prizes,” between 4pm and 7pm tomorrow, Wednesday March 24.
Spring fashions arrive at Off The Hanger
The popular line of straight-legged jeans from second clothing are now available, including the Yoga Jean. Also now available for women are new styles from Makers, Lady Dutch, Groggy and more. And guys, don’t feel left out: check the new stuff from Quick Reflex, Civil Society and TXT Carbon, all at Off The Hanger (1551…
Carlitos closes
They’re calling it “The Last Shot of Espresso,” when Carlitos Café (6220 Quinpool Road) shuts down at the end of the day, Saturday, March 27. The most recent casualty in a rash of business closings, the popular Quinpool coffee shop saw five years of business on the well-travelled thoroughfare. However, all may not be lost:…
Review: Tree of Life
If you missed Xara’s Tree of Life concert last Saturday, you missed another one-of-a-kind musical experience. It was the choir’s most cohesive show to date, with the theme of growing into womanhood reflected in song, sculpture and spoken word. Sarah Irwin’s lovely towering tree stood centre stage, bathed in an ever-changing rainbow of light. Shauntay…
Young and obnoxious, obviously
Why the F can’t I get a decent apartment? Well, I know why. Because I’m 19. I completely understand that landlords don’t want to rent out to a youngin’, because of noise and drunken escapades. I’m not really angry at the LLs for that, more so at the idiot young people that ruin it for…
Thank you Kijiji asshole
Thank you for hacking my account, taking down my paid ads and changing the password. Thank you for fucking up the Kijiji ad of a young father trying to sell his meagre movie and game collection so he can give his baby a better life, thank you for causing me this stress and grief at…
The fall of modern music
Dear music industry, What are you thinking? Like seriously though, music has turned into a cesspool of terrible no-talent, degrading and just plain horrible music. Every time I turn on the radio nowadays I want to take a cheese grater to my earlobes. When you start signing 100s of bands that have the exact same…
No radar
Why in the fuck is there NEVER!! any HPD with radar guns coming or going to Hfx in the construction zone between Kearney Lake and Hammond Plains Rd? You would think this is a no brainer DOUBLE FINE IN CONSTRUCTION ZONE, I travel this road several times a day at different times and I can…
Thieves
To whomever stole the black Arcteryx Jacket from the Seahorse Friday night—you’re an asshole. Plain and simple. What makes you think you can just help yourself to someone else’s things? Fuck you. —Fed Up
Not your kids’ mother
You and your constantly angry boyfriend sit on the balcony above ours and smoke your pot while your little terrors tear around your place, making a constant thumping that seriously sounds like a herd of elephants above, shaking the ceiling of our apartment. It’s been so bad that the people next to us have moved…
Go local in Clayton Park
Ritual Studio480 Parkland Drive, 407-4022 Sadly, popular coffee house The Almond Cafe is now closed, but just down the plaza is the Ritual Tanning and Vibration Salon, where two lovely and bronzed ladies with startlingly white smiles, clad in black, will tan you up and whiten your teeth. Be sure to check out the T-Zone…
Smell You Later, A/V
a photo i took of A/V at Evolve 2009 What’s with every band/person I like moving to Korea or Japan to teach English? Did I do something wrong? Goddammit, you jerks!Anyway, that’s what my favorite New Brunswick-ian dance-punker A/V is doing. He plays his last show tonight at the King’s Wardroom. Immediately afterwards, he ships…
Ultra Hair offers Solutions
Formerly on Brenton Street, Ultra Hair Solutions (1770 Market Street, 429-8300) can now be found adjacent to the Metro Centre where Market Street meets George. The salon specializes in “anything and everything to do with hair loss and hair restoration,” says owner Devera Giles, so for those going through Chemotherapy or suffering from Alopecia, Giles…
Beckoning the Gray
Tomorrow could’ve been three months. See? Not that hard at all. Too bad, I guess. You proclaim to be such a tough, strong person, but you hide from people. You hide from life. I doubt you’ll get very far this way, coward. —Q
To the most adorable boy in the world
When you sang that song for me today, I realized you are the first person to leave me constantly fighting for consciousness. I hope I make you swoon as much as you make me. Thank you. —Lady Ginge
For Becky who blew off Nick
You gave a guy a fake number and it happened to be mine. Just wanted to let you know you dodged a bullet there. When I replied to him “I think Becky gave you a fake number, honey!” he proceeded to ask me “how old r u?” and “wats ur name?” Desperate creep, am I…
Dog shit
To all the arseholes that take their dogs to Victoria Park and don’t clean up after them: If I see it happen, you’re gonna wear it! How long before some bored or stupid council member gets the idea that dogs shouldn’t be allowed because there’s shit everywhere? Think about it! Oh and to the guy…
Love in an Elevator
Friday night and I’m stuck in an elevator for over an hour. Thanks to Pam at Capital Health security for making it an entertaining event rather than a bore. —Elevator #2 Occupant
MOVE TO ANOTHER SEAT
I just watched an old man nearly fall down, trying to reach a seat in the back of the bus because some stupid girl didn’t think to herself “Hey, that man is old and having trouble walking, maybe he would like to have the seat closest to the front?” I wanted to stand up and…
I returned a shirt to you on Saturday
I returned a shirt to you at a certain store on Saturday afternoon. It had broken buttons on the cuffs of both sleeves. This was the second time I’ve seen you working there. You have mid-length, very fine blond hair and you wear glasses. I just want to say that you look like an angel…
Tired of textual harrassment
Hey M, thanks for waking me up at four in the fucking morning with a random, non-sensical text. I had to get up at 630 to get ready for work, and my sleep was ruined. After I got angry with you, you proceeded to call me sarcastic when I was well within my right to…
Nine dollar manipulation on Sackville Street
Umm, $9 at the door?! Who do you think you are? Those of you who like to party after 2am, might be either gay, lesbian, trans or just love a big crazy dance floor will know exactly what establishment I’m talking about here…I am TOTALLY sickened by the idea that this place has recently started…
Texas education is going backwards
It’s scary folks in a state that has a 36.5 percent Latino population, they can’t teach the children anything positive about their heroes. But Newt is a great guy…if I lived there home schooling would be in the cards. Soon, from space we will be able to see the burning funeral pyres of books. —A…
Rad ladies
To the two women walking down Quinpool today with the drums: good beats. And also, to the beautiful chick with the red dreads and gnarly hula hoop, you look like a pretty stellar individual. —Bored Waiting for the Bus
QUIT ASKING FOR SPAAAAAARE CHANGE
Jesus that guy with the glasses who spits on you when he says “Scuse me do you have any spare change.” You know who I mean, the guy with the toque on and plastic coffee cup, about 45? Damn guy if ya want some spare change don’t spit on me, shit. I work 35 hours…
Dear Henry
It took me 12 years to finally see you live and in person. Your show was fucking amazing! Intelligent, witty, funny and thought-provoking. Please don’t ever stop doing what you do. You’re the coolest 49-year-old ever. Thanks for the memories. —Johnny Fucking Quest
I’ll laugh if I wanna
First off I’ve met mosquitoes with more force then yourself. Ya it looks big and you’re cocky as fuck but you should learn how to use it PROPERLY; worst I’ve ever had. Shit we can’t even be friends anymore, I don’t even think I wanna look at you ever again. —Sorry Kinda
To my first sunny patio beer
You are so cold and delicious and combined with the warm sun on my face I could have a cement block dropped on me and my last thought (other than ‘oh crap’) would be pure bliss. My frothy friend, I shall drink more and more of you on warm patios, but the first is always…
Transaction tyranny
To all the retail cashiers who insist on giving no direction regarding “stripe-in, stripe-out” chip-enabled debit transactions. For the love of Christ, could you give us some direction when you pass us the pin pad instead of waiting for us to make the mistake and then huffing and puffing your directions at us with an…
Barrington macchiatto queen
Girl you are the nastiest coffee server I have ever met in my life, the nastiest server period. It is as if you enjoy abusing people and your job gives you the outlet to do it. How you manage to keep your job is a mystery to me. —LF
Cat walking doesn’t work
I can’t believe what I witnessed the other night! My husband and I were going for a walk, and we noticed someone suspicious across the street from us up ahead. We heard a cat yowling in pain, and as we got closer we saw that this idiot was trying to walk his cat. The cat…
To the loud mouths behind me at the MB concert, If I wanted to listen to you rattle on about every inane thought you had
…I would go to a coffee shop! Please don’t ever go to a concert again! You and your friends (minus the poor mother who didn’t say a word, at least one of you got it!) were the rudest concertgoers I have ever sat near. Not only did you talk through the opening act, you made…
Best part of Saturday morning
Dear Hutten’s Farm Vegetable Man: Mostly, we just smile at each other from across the room. You’re gorgeous. That’s all. —Pig-tailed Girl
Godsend Kijiji mechanic
After a nightmare of a couple thousand dollar repair on my car (when I just took it in for an inspection), I was told the final body work would cost me $500 or more just to let me legally back on the road. I didn’t know where to turn so i turned to Kijjiji and…
Drugstore lady
I had a million errands to run, including replacing moisturizer I had run out of. Seems trivial, but there I was, not sure whether to buy or not to buy… The product was new to me, and I wanted something compact for travelling. When you learned this, not only did you sell me a product…
Cointreau at the NSLC Quinpool
When you asked the question, I was foolishly going to say… Cointreau on the beach with you under moonlight. Anyway just wanted to say thanks….you made my week. —With Lime
A bus bard’s lament
Never thought I would write one of these, but here goes. Nearly every day on my way to class, I have to brave a bus that is insanely jam-packed full of people. Trouble is, though I am a skinny individual, I usually have a musical instrument on my back and a bookbag by my side,…
You don’t deserve to own writing implements
Dear anonymous jerk in the Dal life science centre, Walking upstairs in the psychology wing for a meeting today, I saw one of many posters advertising a research lecture on people’s alcohol habits, an area of intense study for some Dal faculty members. Your remark in response to the tagline “Why do people drink alcohol,”…
Carl Gunnarsson
YOU’RE A BEAST. —Go Leafs Go
Ode to Montreal
Montreal, how fair thee lie, beside three rivers, beneath ‘bleu’ sky… Drivers do; they drive too fast!, as if awaits important task… But if I lived here, amidst graffiti, smell of piss and unwashed feety… ‘tres’ loath to race to-wards abode, instead I’d head me down the road… —ANglophoneY
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
My frikkin’ ears! —Who Gets an Earache at 25?!
Profiles MY ASS
Look I want to apply for a job not cruise your companies website like it was fucking face book, so why do I need to create a profile?? Look just post the positions you have open in a general page and supply an email, which it is dedicated to the task of getting resumes STOP…
PLEASE HELP trying to locate a Kelly Slater autographed surfboard
I’ve been trying desperately to track down a girl that bought a Kelly Slater Autographed Sabad surfboard from me around ’05 or ’06. She was from around the New Glasgow area I believe. If anyone can help me locate her (name, number, address or ANYTHING) or could help put me in touch I would appreciate…
Henry Rollins vs. Nardwuar
In honour of Henry Rollins’ Rebecca Cohn spoken-word show today, here’s one of my favorite interviews, where he gets all pissy with our national treasure.
Burn One Down TONIGHT!
gggggggggrrrrrr The hardworking grindcore outfit Burnt Church will be erupting this Friday at Gus’ Pub with their debut self-titled EP. The band was originally a two-piece; guitarist/vocalist Mike Parks joined up with Thy Flesh Consumed drummer Gerald Smith last March in the basement of a Fairview jam space. When bassist Tery Morrison of Fredericton’s Hard…
Missing pedestrian light
What’s wrong? Missing pedestrian light, Isleville and Young streets. Who’s responsible? Vaughn Perrin, HRM traffic analyst, crosswalks, 490-4822. REMARKS A reader tips us to this crosswalk: there’s a helpful push-button for pedestrians but, very unhelpfully, the button isn’t attached to an actual light. Perrin says the light was taken out when one of the poles…
Ani makes it up to us
she’s no longer out of range! hooray! Well, here’s a nice bit of news on a sunny Friday for ya’ll: Ani DiFranco will be coming Halifax way after all. As you may recall, she cancelled her In the Dead of Winter date in January due to feeling less than righteous. But she’s rescheduled for November…
To the annoying couple at the doctor’s office
Great job stupidly giggling at each others’ jokes, using funny voices and generally acting like a pair of sugar-high 12-year-olds. I know you’re in love and the world is just, like, so awesome, but maybe when you’re in a room full of sick people who have been waiting over two hours to see a fucking…
I know Metric, I don’t know math…
Turns out I only won those tickets today; -I- sent the email two weeks ago. That doesn’t make you any less lovely, front desk lady. Thanks for the pins! —Overeager Music Dyke
Kilometres, metres, grams…
…I love me some Metric! Thanks to The Coast for the tickets to the Metric show, even though I found out about them two weeks after I should have picked them up! And thanks to the hottie with the asymmetrical haircut and the big smile at the front desk who said, “This is who we…
Canadian government indifferent to plight of woman held captive in Saudi Arabia
A Canadian woman being held against her will in Saudi Arabia says the Canadian government is not taking her plight seriously. Nazia Quazi was taken to Saudi Arabia by her father in November 2007. Because of that country’s archaic gender laws, women of any age are subject to male “guardianship.” In the 24-year-old Quazi’s case,…
Trinity closes
Trinity Restaurant at the corner of Clyde and South Park has closed “due to the economy” according to the outgoing phone message, a message that also thanks customers for their patronage over the five years the eatery was in business.
Whirligig shooting now
If you happen out around Three Fathom Harbour or in the other direction down Herring Cove Road to Portuguese Cove, you might spot a film crew hunkering down to do its thing. That would be the homegrown production Whirligig, directed by Chaz Thorne, the filmmaker who wrote and directed Just Buried starring current Hollywood it-geek…
HRM pedestrians need lessons on how to cross the street
I’m both a pedestrian and a driver that has lived here and in major cities across Canada. This is the only city I have lived in where too many pedestrians can’t cross the street properly. You either cross at a crosswalk, at lights when it is green, or cross a street when there are no…
Dear Mr. S*** C*****
I’m so tired of Mr. S C parading around trying to hook up with me and every other person in this world. You think it’s alright to go from girl to girl. You’ve been seen with other females the same one more than once and yet just because you know my son does not give…
Barrington coffee shop
I used to buy coffee and meals here a lot. Then I went one day after being fired and the death a close relative; I was v. sad and distracted. I was just hoping to enjoy my coffee and lunch. But a worker I will call “Ms. Attitude” was working. (She knows who she is—perhaps…
It’s called a change of season
HALIFAX! Get an actually spring like the other provinces. Hell, Ontario has practically has summer right now, they’re up almost in the 20s! I don’t even want to tell you what’s it’s like in Vancouver, it might make you jealous. Jesus, hasn’t anyone around here heard of the season Spring? —Wants to Move Back to…
Do you have no self-respect at all?
Your whole life is committed to children, the entire time I’ve known you that has been your goal, to be a mother. He says he doesn’t love you, doesn’t want to marry you and does not want any more kids. Why, after this, would you keep him living in your house, buy him a truck…
Wow, that was annoying
Dear extremely intoxicated girl who showed up at our door in the middle of the night, Thanks for scaring the absolute wits out of my roommate and I, who assumed you were trying to break into our apartment. Thanks for acting hysterical leading us to believe that something terrible had happened to you, and scaring…
Hey Agricola dog owners!
If you own two beautiful dogs and near the NSLC on Agricola, please keep an eye on them! My friend and I saved their lives when your front door was left wide open one evening last week and they ran out into rush-hour traffic. We coaxed them back inside, yelled loudly into the dwelling that…
Happy to have you
After reading countless bitches about dating and guys, I can tell you how happy I am to have you. Almost six years of being in love with my best friend. How lucky am I? =) —Happy Happy Joy Joy
Review: The Soldier Dreams
There were a lot of empty seats at the Saint Patrick’s Day opening of Daniel MacIvor’s The Soldier Dreams, but with any luck, people will sober up enough over the next couple of days to take in this beautiful little play. MacIvor is a master at writing about complicated relationships, and what could be more…
Greenpeace targets Sobeys for selling cod
Greenpeace protests against Sobeys selling Atlantic cod
No more LOLs for L.M.F.A.O
Party-rap crew L.M.F.A.O. has cancelled their April 14th show at the Halifax Forum. Tickets can be refunded wherever you bought them.
To the driver of bus #9
You were one bus length past the bus stop, yet you were stopped at the red light in the right lane going nowhere and still refused to let me get on. I don’t care what the protocol expects of you. Simple decency would be to let customer get on the bus if it is still…
Um, no.
If you said ‘NO,’ which you did, and NO means NO, why the fuck do you continue to textually harass me. Go fuck yourself. I’m done with you. —No Way
Meanie
I just wanted to say that you are a bad friend. —Hurtie
The Damned United
Oi, oi. In England, football (soccer, that is) is religion. It’s like hockey here, only times 100. Part of its popularity is that even the smallest team has the chance to become the best in England. The Damned United is about manager Brian Clough’s (Michael Sheen, Frost/Nixon) mission to become the UK’s best and dethrone…
Gerald Ferguson’s landscapes
When Victoria Page talks about this last exhibition for long-time friend and late artist Gerald Ferguson, her excitement, while laced with sadness, is easily contagious over the phone line. “It’s unique because of the fact that he used a brush, which is very unusual,” she says. The retired NSCAD prof and internationally influential conceptual artist…
Repo Men repossesses its own message
Anybody who cared to know the facts about US health care debate wasn’t waiting to learn them from Repo Men. That’s why simple topicality isn’t good enough. In order to work as science fiction allegory, the movie needs satiric bite. A better movie would weigh the personal toll of corporate greed as a nightmarish comedy,…
Josh MacDonald’s stage fright
It’s just before nightfall, but bright rays of what looks like sunlight stream though the windows of a bed and breakfast on Gottingen Street, illuminating a scene of carnage: chairs and sofas overturned, electronic gear strewn about a living room. The set clears and silences as cameras roll. Three young men unlock the front door,…
Running on empty
Q My husband and I have been married for one year, but we dated for 10 years prior to that. I thought we had a very understanding relationship. In the last couple of days, I have found out that he has a serious obsession with females wearing running shoes. He had in the past hinted…
The Koreans are coming
Another culinary trend Shoptalk is happy to note: Korean food is becoming more readily available in Halifax. Opening Friday, March 19 in the space once home to La Hoyo and Casa Carlos is the new Seoul Restaurant (5170 Duke Street, 404-3414) offering Korean and Japanese cuisine, including bulgogi, gamjatang and kimchi jigae. And the signs…
HRM’s secret arena contract
Halifax Regional Municipality has a “black budget”—a secret, off-the-public-books budget, completely off-limits to the citizenry. A black budget is the absolute antithesis to democracy, because without public knowledge of government expenditures there can be no accountability, and without accountability there can be no democracy. At issue is the new four-pad arena on Hammonds Plains Road.…
Joanna Newsom
Listening to this record, a two-hour, three-disc epic, needs to be approached like reading a short story collection, taking in small sections at a time, not necessarily in order. But this aside, Have One on Me feels like Newsom’s most accessible album yet; those who aren’t fans of her voice may find the vocals more…
Free Will Astrology
Happy Birthday! PISCES (February 19-March 20) In my astrological opinion, you don’t need anything that shrinks you or deflates you or tames you. Influences that pinch your imagination should be taboo, as should anything that squashes your hope or crimps your life force. To make proper use of the vibrations circulating in your vicinity, Pisces,…
Alex Cuba
From the west coast—Smithers, some 14 hours north of Vancouver—Alex Cuba returns with his third solo album. And he still hasn’t quite solved the riddle of his own sound. Is his heart in the rock tune, “Que Pasa Lola” or the jump-up, “Tierra Colora”? Perhaps it’s in his funk innovations, the jazzy “If You Give…
Ambition and Uncle Fester
With a hip-hop scene that already includes heavy hitters like Classified, Ghettosocks, Buck 65 and Skratch Bastid, the Atlantic Canadian scene better get ready to make way for this soft-spoken MC from Sackville—he carries a big mic. Ambition tears up the stage with his tight, imposing flow, his style a throwback to classic 1980s hip-hop,…
Corinne Bailey Rae
A year after Corinne Bailey Rae’s invigorating 2006 debut, she lost her husband to a drug overdose. The Sea was recorded all over England: a farm in Yorkshire, a church in Leeds. It contains sadness, resolve and tenderness. With some ace players on board, Bailey Rae chips in on everything from guitar to glockenspiel. “The…
Girl Power: The Nineties Revolution in Music
I want to be Marisa Metlzer’s best friend. Her latest book, Girl Power: The Nineties Revolution in Music, explores the history and influence of the most integral years of my life. The early ’90s were a pivotal time for women in music. Feminism wasn’t new—neither were girl groups, zines or punk rock—but Meltzer permeates the…
Broken Bells
This fresh, if unlikely collaboration between artist/producer Danger Mouse—AKA Brian Burton—and The Shins’ singer/strummer James Mercer is a case of lightning captured. The instantly registering, mid-tempo aesthetics of semi-forgotten ’90s acts such as Primitive Radio Gods are married to layered harmonies, piano- and acoustic guitar-driven songcraft straight out of the ’70s, an instant indie classic…
Bitter Medicine
Two of Clem Martini’s brothers have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. One is Ben, the youngest. The other is Olivier, or Liv, an artist. He illustrates this graphic memoir with a subtle hand. Spend time following the lines in his black ink drawings and his short, considered captions. This is his side in a long conversation,…
Mocean Dance: Live at 3
Rockstars, dream states and immortals are just the beginning of what Mocean Dance’s newest work, Live at 3, brings to Neptune Studio Theatre this week. The local contemporary dance company, with dancers Carolle Crooks, Sarah Rozee (pictured) and Tania Jean performing this show, are world premiering three new works. The first, choreographed by Cory Bowles,…
Steak to the heart
Strip malls. I can’t say I love ’em. Maybe it’s because the parking lots tend to be a buzzing glow of industrial light boxes. Or maybe it’s because if you look around too much, you are sure to find some Patrick Nagal-style artwork bathed in the assailing neon tint of words like “waxing” and “nails.”…
Retro in the resto
As everyone gets ready to dip a foot into the Hot Tub Time Machine we searched for the perfect cocktail to sip while hanging out back when. Classic cocktails are getting tougher to find, but you can get one mixed if you ask the right bartender. Tom’s Little Havana Tom’s serves the standard classic martinis,…
Five things you should know about Michael Bolton
Five things you should know about Michael Bolton 1. His metal band Blackjack (!) once toured with Ozzy Osbourne. Aaah! 2. His famous mane (now shorn, sob!) once rippled with the power of 1,000 Tritons. 3. Yes, he was engaged to the blonde Desperate Housewife, but did you know he also recorded a song with…
Landing on planet B-52s
There’s no mistaking that voice. The nasal pitch. The comforting southern drawl mixed with New Jersey sass. A partier’s Allen Ginsberg, Fred Schneider’s new wave song-speech ranks up there with Darth Vader and Pee-wee Herman as one of the most iconic voices in modern pop culture. You want to keep him talking on the phone,…
Beyond the walls
“Don’t screw it up.” This was the not-so-subtle message that Haligonians sent Halifax Public Libraries CEO Judith Hare and her staff during public consultations for the new central library design. And many of us want a building worthy of international architecture magazines, Hare told a group of library students and practioners at the Information Without…
Game on: the Play conference
Michael Gordon, a senior city planner from Vancouver, isn’t your typical government bureaucrat: He skateboards to work, thinks parkour is cool and wishes kids could play more in the streets. The Dalhousie School of Planning is bringing this free-thinking government employee to Halifax on March 19 in hopes that he can teach us a thing…
Straight Thrush
After over 10 years apart, Thrush Hermit returns to life with a nearly sold-out nine-date tour and an eight-disc box set chronicling the life and times of the Hermit. And questions abound: will the band’s trademark “Rock” sign make an appearance? Will the box set have the Street Cents theme song? Yes, if the delivery…
Doodles of creativity found in Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Seventh grade is the worst, because nobody has the insight to be cool but everybody has a need to show off. Some of that feeling makes its way into Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Juggling experience (though I doubt many 12-year-olds in 2010 listen to “Whatta Man” and “Intergalactic”) with fantasy, this take on Jeff…
Get signed by Cameron Stewart
Award-winning Canadian comic artist Cameron Stewart is visiting Halifax for the first time this weekend, signing comics and saying hello. Fresh from illustrating a story arc for DC Comics’ Batman and Robin, Stewart writes from Paris about the newly finished project. “Working on Batman and Robin was a joy—I’ve been a fan of the writer,…
Rollins along
When asked whether he’d marry, kill or sleep with Sarah Palin, Henry Rollins stutters, tripping over his words. After a few moments of silence, he chuckles, dissipating the awkward tension. “Neither. None. I don’t want to, um… No,” he sputters. “No. None of those options work for me.” Coming from a man who threatened to…
The Bounty Hunter cuts off its own head
Shrill battle of the sexes; wash; rinse; repeat. Gerard Butler plays a bounty hunter tasked to bring in his feisty reporter ex-wife (she skipped out on traffic court). Do filmmakers not think of or not care about the question, “What on Earth do these two see in each other?” Maybe they do think of it,…
Hurricane Season
When your source material is the true story of a New Orleans high school basketball team on an improbable post-Katrina winning streak, producing an inspirational film should be an easy layup. Yet Hurricane Season hoists up a brick. Here, the ravaged city is merely a support player, its plight trotted out to add dramatic weight…
More Jobs Per Green Buck
In October I went to a presentation by a senior economist from the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives in British Columbia. He came equipped with a hard drive’s worth of percentages and demographic comparisons. Two of his stats have stayed with me all these months. One: Mining, oil and gas extraction, transportation and manufacturing account…
The Ghost Writer gets lost in the details
Time stretches out interminably like passages in a pontificating political memoir in Roman Polanski’s The Ghost Writer. More and more layers of mystery are added to the plot beyond the point of actually making sense of anything. Ewan McGregor plays the ghost writer of Pierce Brosnan’s Tony Blair-like ex PM’s memoirs, who discovers that Brosnan’s…
The girl at Rogers
To the blonde who works at Rogers Video in Spryfield: You are super nice, your suggestions are great and you have never steered me wrong. Thanks for always making sure I have a great night. —Customer
Friends?
Casual dating is getting more and more painful. Lots of options and they all feel wrong. I don’t need anything serious, but the potential for something meaningful would be nice. Or at least, let us forget the exes, secret partners, tweets and text messages and fully enjoy each other’s company when we’re together. Let us…
Birch Cove
What we get for community development reflects what effort we, the public, make to get involved. For about a year now, Halifax Regional Municipality and the Waterfront Development Corporation have been reaching out to the public as part of the planning process for the future re-development of Birch Cove, known to most of us as…
Dartmouth
If Haligonians were told six acres of Halifax Common was set aside for a bus terminal, how would they react? Could it happen in Halifax? Unlikely. Here’s how it happened in Dartmouth. In November 2008 the legislature passed the 160-page Bill 179. Slipped into the bill in Section 66 (5) they gave six acres of…
Tanya Bloomfield to run Bluenose Marathon barefooted
[image-1] Tanya Bloomfield plans to raise money for Halifax’s LGBTQ community by ticking off one thing on her bucket list: running a marathon, barefoot. Bloomfield, sponsorship coordinator for Halifax Pride, hopes to raise $10,000 for Safe Harbour Metropolitan Community Church when she runs the Bluenose Marathon this May. Safe Harbour (3115 Veith Street) is a…
Merritt Award nominees reflect great year of theatre
Daniel MacIvor and A Beautiful View, nominees for outstanding director and production Last year was a super year for Halifax theatre, and the Robert Merritt Awards (merrittawards.ca) nominations reflect the calibre of productions—-not just in acting and directing, but music, set and lighting design too. 2b theatre fills a carton with a dozen nominations, competing…
Shandi Mitchell wins Commonwealth Prize
Becky Parson Now, we all know that plaques and trophies are dust and painful-speech magnets, but they still give us a hiccup of excitement. Right after receiving two Atlantic Book Awards nominations—-including the big guy, the Thomas Raddall—-filmmaker-turned-author Shandi Mitchell’s Under This Unbroken Sky has won the Commonwealth Prize Best First Book (Canada/Caribbean). Mitchell is…
