Dear extremely intoxicated girl who showed up at our door in the middle of the night,
Thanks for scaring the absolute wits out of my roommate and I, who assumed you were trying to break into our apartment. Thanks for acting hysterical leading us to believe that something terrible had happened to you, and scaring us yet again. Thanks for passing out in our bathroom and not being able to get into the cab we called for you, and were willing to pay for. Doubtful that cab company will be quick to pick us up in the future.
Thanks for giving us no choice but to call the police to come and get your drunk ass out of our bathroom. Thanks for spewing on our floor, I had honestly missed the rank smell of vodka and pizza mixed with stomach juices. Thanks for wasting the three officers’ time who showed up to deal with you and your ridiculousness, it’s not like they have better things to deal with. Thanks for being inexcusably bitchy to both them and us when you finally put your pants on and decided to leave.
Just because you “used to live here” and “it’s OK” doesn’t mean it’s OK, because now we live here, and you don’t. My roommate and I had both gotten ourselves into some pretty silly situations in our early 20s, but nothing compared to the insanity you unleashed upon us last night. So we missed our runs and school this morning, because you kept us up all night, because you were drunk. Next time we’ll leave you out on the porch and let the dragon catch up to you. —In An Unfair State of Sleepiness
This article appears in Mar 18-24, 2010.
yep… St paddys brings out the best in people.
she’s lucky she didn’t stumble on to LS or Q’s pad…
though something tells me her pants would still have been off.
IF there was ever a reason to video a drunk for the public’s viewing enjoyment on Utube, this has got to be it !
The description alone makes me want to see pure drunken stupidity in action ~;)
hah, I’m kinda with you on this one More
This is like the most entertaining bitch ever.
I went out for a night to dance
now hammered, I started my rants
so nice to meet ya
here’s some vodka and pizza
now it’s time to take off my pants
yeah…more prose
very nice bitching op
You should have gotten a Sharpie and drawn all over her…
awww… I miss being in my early 20’s… good times.
Must have been two females. OP- I am interested in hearing how she convinced you to let her in in the first place. This is one of those “if only I had known” times. Well, at least you showed the decency to let her in and help out what you initially thought was a girl in trouble. I am sure the world will work the situation back around in your favor. Who knows, maybe her two hot brothers will show up on your doorstep some evening to thank you for taking care of their little sis’… (or if you’re really lucky….. the THREE hot cops…..) Oops, I think I may have made LIH soil his panties…LMAO
Don’t let drunk stranger females into your home, are you crazy? She has clearly had some terrible fight with her mate…is going to need an excuse why she was out all night so she doesn’t get beat when she gets home…and the latest trend is to make a claim of sexual assault/confinement against the nearest sucker(s)…
This includes lesbians; she can claim you forced her to sit and watch the Mag Ruffman Ms Fix-it marathon and drink cheap merlot…
I would have called the cops regarding an attempted break and enter, disrupting the police, public drunkeness, trespassing, and whatever else I could throw at her.
What a wasted opportunity for http://thefunnydrunk.com/
says who? you?
libellous
Did the crane show up at your house? A horrid drunk from halifax who thinks she deserves everyones attention.