Casual dating is getting more and more painful. Lots of options and they all feel wrong. I don’t need anything serious, but the potential for something meaningful would be nice. Or at least, let us forget the exes, secret partners, tweets and text messages and fully enjoy each other’s company when we’re together.
Let us be kind, open and honest adults. Life can be shitty enough, why worry about all the things we can’t predict or control?
Also, don’t assume you know what I want, because I have no idea. Let’s just try and have some fun while we can. Once that stops, just say so and move on, everything ends, that’s life, why complicate things? —Salty Single
This article appears in Mar 18-24, 2010.
So I’m a little confused. Do you want meaning or no meaning?
yea wtf are you after itÈs clear as mud
screw casual dating……… good ol’ fashion NSA action, that’s where it’s at.
Well that’s just it. Why would you want to start something meaningful when you know it’s going end.
Maybe I’m missing something, but I thought that actually dating someone was for the potential for it to work down the road and casual dating was dating multiple people to see if there are any potentials.
If you don’t want an actual relationship, why date at all? Why not just be friends with benefits or something?
yes o.p., i feel for you. looking for a honey can be a serious pain sometimes. but the worst thing you can do, is go to dating sites, they just want you to sign up for gold bullshit, so you can actually mail some people. kijiji used to have a good database, but they closed that one down. lavalife, eharmony, and the rest are just money grabs. you either have to hunt the bars, yuk. or just trust maybe, just maybe, someone on a bitch board, such as this, might find you, and want to meet up. there are plenty of singles here, including myself. have fun while here, and keep on keeping on.
Where’s your email life sucks, you’re breaking routine lol.
this person wants it to be meaningful when they are together and completely segregated when they are apart, it would seem…
ie. when they are together, ignore any mails/texts/anyone else but him/her….
then when they are done with the date/fuck/evening/whatever, go about your life like you had a good time but have no responsibilities to them.
kinda bizarre… as people say. it crosses the “don’t care, just enjoy” line.
Oh, I and do believe them when they say they have no idea what they want.
that’s pretty crystal…
Salty Single?….ewwww
Life sucks…but look at the alternative.
Death, IMO ,sucks even more ~;)
I believe we are all brainwashed into thinking “there is someone for everyone” all you gotta do is search.
Bullshit. stupid religiosity IMO !
If I’m wrong the divorce rate would be so low, it would never be even noticed.
We are as a species not monogamous… religion has for hundreds of years been pounding it into peoples heads that GOD WANTS US TO BE , in single partner relationships.
Which for most of the population doesn’t work now & didn’t work before.
If god wanted us to be that way…once we met & married someone, we’d never ‘cheat’ on our spouse. We would never fall out of love. No one else would even be attractive as your partner…
But we all know that ain’t true, is it ?
For the most part even those who don’t cheat…look at the menu from time to time. We can’t help it…because that’s how we’re wired.
So be more like me don’t fight it, don’t conform to some stupid assholes idea of perfection, that he has decided is ‘GOD’ ordained.
Look at all the ‘flowers’ is my philosophy, smell the ones you can, be considerate & take full advantage of any flower offered, just don’t lie, don’t pretend something just to get laid ,don’t commit, don’t take advantage of those who delude themselves & never limit yourself or expect others to do the same.
You’ll end up happier, or at the very least , true to your real nature.
We are all animals & its time for people to realise this.
Spending time with someone, having sex with a partner…doesn’t mean you have to spend every waking moment with them or in constant contact. The freedom to do what you want when you want , is part of finding real happiness.
Like the OP said, ” be kind, be open & be honest”
And if all else fails, go hire a female (or male)for an hour or 2, because in my experience…no matter what ,your going to end up spending money one way or the other 🙂
No matter what you may think of my view, its honest & its true !
I agree with what you are saying More, I definitely think that people rush to settle with someone because that is what they are suppose to do; however, I do think it is possible to find someone that you can form a lifelong and dare I say monogamous relationship with.
It just depends on the reasons that you are forming said relationship, and relationships aren’t for everyone either.
The difference between all the other animals and we humans is that we are a little more sophisticated species with emotions, consciousness and the ability to distinguish between right and wrong.
If someone wants to ‘smell all the flowers’ they want in their lifetime then perhaps a monogamous relationship isn’t for them. For many other people monogamy is the only way, they take it seriously and they don’t mind the committment required to make that work for them.
The beauty of the diversity is that it does not have to be one way or the other. People are free to choose what works for them. I am quite sure, with human emotion being the way it is that people who fell in love before religion became popular were quite capable of deciding their devotion to each other exclusive of all others. I am also sure they could distinguish between lust and love.
Infidelity is for cowards who fail to address the issues in their relationship. If the issues can’t be resolved, end it and move on. So much hurt and pain has been caused by infidelity. The damage also extends to any children the couple may have who may carry the scars for life. Is it really worth it?
The committment my partner and I made to each other was that if either of us felt like straying that we would have the moral fiber to address the cause first and only seek out another person once we ended it, not before.
and here I thought it was opposable thumbs…
Fuck commitment and monogamy! I wasted way too long in one of these here committed, long-term relationships. Bullshit I say! I just wanna fuck… hey OP, wanna fuck (if you’s a hot chick)? Sex is awesome. I can’t have just one, I just can’t!
Oh, and by the way, monogamy is even practised among many animal species who mate for life exclusive of all others so the we’re all animals arguement doesn’t ring true.
Oceanlady, when your life span is measured as 5 or 10 years , no wonder these animals “mate’ fo rlife.
I’ve tried the monogamous route for 20 years & 7 days.
Unfortunately my ‘partner’ decided otherwise. I just wished she had said something earlier…much earlier because to be truthful I would have loved either us moving on or both of us exploring other possibilities together.(or on our own)
60% of married women & 70% of married men have affairs, look it up !
That’s 65 out of 100 married people at the next event you go to are cheating, have cheated ,or will cheat !
I no longer look at it as cheating being bad, or wrong.
Keeping it secret or not sharing your desire for someone else & allowing your partner the same freedom.
That’s the real cheating IMO.
Or maybe committing to a monogamous relationship when one is not into monogamy is cheating…cheating one’s self. To thine own self be true. The fact that such high percentages choose the cheat does not make them right. Cheaters hurt their partners when they are found out. Hurting another person, especially someone one supposedly cares for, is wrong. This is why religions don’t condone cheating. Well, the ones that don’t support polygamy anyway.
aaah oceanlady you had me til religion^^
i don’t understand how you could spend your life with someone who wasn’t compatible
I TOTALLY get what OP is saying here. ONS usually suck, especially if you like the person enough to want to see them again, but can’t. Friends with benefits usually gets complicated. That balance between fuck-buddy and someone to hang out with is an elusive creature indeed.
This reads like a note to another person’s mate. There are enough people in the city to pursue a fully available catch. There’s enough lying and cheating going on too so why not make effort to AVOID becoming involved in complicated bullshit that’s not even yours. Start fresh with somebody who is… fresh! This approach ensures you’re not stepping on toes that might get you killed as well so…
Relationships end the same way they begin. Cast a net for what you want, not what you don’t want.