Tangent: Muslim women have right to wear whatever
Maggie Lucas
Barrington Street shuffle
[image-1] There’s a retail shuffle going on on South Barrington Street. Cafe Chianti has moved into the former Bear space in the YWCA building (1241 Barrington Street). Then, Uncommon Grounds, having closed its Upper Water Street cafe, has moved all the furnishings and equipment to the former Cargo and James space in the same building.…
Bushy ladies
This goes out to all the ladies, young and old, who have some bush. And even if you don’t, you are still fun things to be around. Who really cares if your hair is long or short, or even bald, you are still the cutest thing that I, or any other male, have ever seen.…
Loud drivers are better than blind drivers
Thank you too the cute guy in the white sedan on Portland street on Tuesday afternoon. I was crossing the street and you stopped to let me pass. The opposing driver however did not stop, but I was not looking and you started honking your horn to warn me. You saved me from an unpleasant…
Noise: The Saviour
How does one block out the sense of hearing? I ponder that now. Or rather do they distract with those tethered apparati hanging from their ears? The mp3 player, the portable CD player (dead as much as we know), even the personal DVD players or radios (though less frequently witnessed). These poor bodies, seemingly drained…
Woken Up with a Whippersnipper
Oh My God(dess)! Are you f***ing kidding me? This morning – after a not so great sleep I might add – some idiot thought it might be a good idea to mow the grass with a loud ass whippersniper! For the love of all the Gods could you please maybe wait until 10 oclock or…
Ah! The Great Outdoors
Day 39 See Jane.Jane is a happy camper camper, happy.Jane got a ride to Fargo, North Dakota.(Her Binford friend, Magnhild, came into the big smoke to shop.)Jane is camped in room 159 of the Select Inn.It is raining outside.Janie doesn’t care!She’s not going out again today.If Janie wants to get wet she will get wet…
Missing life saving equipment, Alderney Landing.
What’s wrong: Missing life saving equipment, Alderney Landing. Who’s responsible? Laura Crouse, 461-4698. Remarks: “We just noticed they were missing,” says Crouse in response to a reader’s query about the missing equipment. Crouse, sounding rather exasperated, says the gear will be back up again within a week, but “we’ll put them out, and they’ll get…
For my Mother
Mom, I have to write you this letter now, after you have gone. I miss you terribly and I love you. I know that where ever your spirit resides it is a beautiful place and that you are at peace. It has been hard for me lately without you. I feel that only now, some…
From Grafton to Barrington, Many Stares
To the boy on Saturday night, you introduced yourself as “Devon” or “Evan” when I followed you from Grafton to Barrington St: You smiled, stared back, shook my hand. I gave you a fake name and nothing else. Now I wish I had given you a real number. —Street Runner at 3AM
Smokers Have Rights, Too!
If ONE MORE person comes up to me while I’m smoking somewhere unoffensive OUT OF DOORS and pretends to hack or cough in my general direction, I’m going to fucking flip. ESPECIALLY to people who then get in a vehicle. Yes, non-smokers have a right to clean air, but I, who chooses not to drive…
Horny kids and Trashy parents
Dear parents of the illegitimate bastard children on my street: I realize that for the 6 or 8 kids that play road near my house, there is only 3 mothers and no fathers but could you at least try to entertain the little fuckers. You should be able to remember what playtime is since you…
Thanks for the Bill
To the asshole who smashed the rear drivers side window last night next to MEC on Sackville street: Thanks a lot you prick. I hope you enjoy the MEC bag you stole containing a couple of ultimate discs, whiteboard, cones and a pair of gloves. Hopefully you break your leg playing ultimate with my stolen…
To my dickhead of an employer:
Thank you for firing me without warning after only a month. I had the perfect job working from home, and low and behold, no warning, no coaching, nothing, I discover I cannot login to my systems, so I check my email and there it is – my letter of termination. I had only just got…
Another co-worker bitch
Listen asshole, you are an arrogant condescending fuckwad. You asked me to find the rough copies of the files that were in progress so I found them and placed them in your in box while you were talking on the phone. You saw me place them there so when you came to my desk two…
Thanks for nothing
I have gone to this confusing set up we call a hospital twice now, to get an xray and a ct scan done because of my current physical problems. The first time, I was informed that the radiology department is not open on weekends… The second time, I had to deal with a very bitchy…
Mom, it annoys me when you…
…narrate what you believe your dog is thinking as a joke in a high pitched baby voice, while referring to yourself, the owner, as “Mommy”. You’re annoying the shit out of everyone within earshot, including the dog. …buy people gifts that are actually for your dog. For the past three years you have given everyone…
Unacceptable
After that juvenile display, I don’t think my silence requires any explanation WHATSOEVER. —MADD
To the creighton street “gang”:
This goes out to the group of kids (I would hardly call you teens, let alone adults) on Creighton Street yesterday who saw me biking in the rain and threw a basketball at me and laughed when it hit my tire and almost spun me out. I am more shaken than I am angry at…
Actually, it’s NOT a Good Time…
Finally, after 2 years of grad school I am getting the fuck out of here. Being the good tenant that I am I gave the standard 3 month termination of lease notice. Less than 24 hours later my building super is banging on my door demanding that I allow strangers to traipse through my apartment.…
Lang Optometry & Eyewear opens
After 17 years—and a number of The Coast’s Best of Halifax readers’ poll awards—Gaétan Lang is moving his Bayers Road Optometry Clinic to the new building at the corner of Kaye Street and Isleville, across from the Hydrostone Market and right next door to the new Starbucks. The Market is “one of my favorite places…
Duck and Cover
If you like old machinery with big ass buttons and ten ton doors served up with old time politics and technology used for E-ville and not good, boy, do I have the place for you. The Ronald Reagan Minuteman Missile site has been open to the public for less than a year but not so…
The Word is Out
Two nice guys and good writers have written about my Walking the Walk. Parker Donham lives in Nova Scotia and writes Contrarian. Mike Levin lives in Ottawa and writes Unfolding. He’s written twice about this trip: “Solitude and Tornadoes” & “Misery, Bliss and the Jane Kansas Travelogue”.
Binford, North Dakota
Day 36 June 4 Day 35Fessenden to east of Cathay, North Dakota23 miles (37 kms)Lovely day despite my starting out bitchy. Near Cathay a dog follows me for three miles, having the time of her life—in muck, then grass, sniffing into the wind. It gets to be worrisome so I stop at Cathay and rap…
To My Love
You probably won’t see this. But on the off chance you do, maybe you’ll connect the dots. Over the past month you’ve hurt me a great deal, and you don’t love me anymore, but I just want to say to the world that I will always have a place for you in my heart. We’re…
Mod 4.0
I have been away from the Coast for awhile, and there was no regular Moderator when I left. Now I am easing my way back into the Bitches, and I just have to say “your tags rock”, and “it doesn’t seem like you’re over-sanitizing the bitches”. Thanks for making things interesting again! —Glad to have…
7:30am, 159 Halifax Driver…
To the young, handsome bus driver that was driving the 159 Halifax departing from the Portland Hills Terminal at 7:30am this morning… I ALWAYS hope that you are going to be my driver, although you rarely are. You are strikingly handsome, and your smile makes me melt. I wish you had a regular route, because…
Scotia Square. Golden hair.
I see you almost every day. I walk by the shop where you work and say hi. You give me the same wary smile every single time. I used to see you laughing with Mama’s bagel nerd… I would wonder what he said to make you laugh so loud. Last week, I tried to talk…
What Gives?
Dear Weather: How about a decent weekend for once? Fuck off with all the rain. —Wants to go out and play
Yucky!
It has to be dark when I go down on my man because I do not want to look at his nasty, smelly, greasy, and long black pubic hair staring me in the face. —Disgruntled Girlfriend
Fuck the love
“Love the way we love” is chafing me. It undermines the satisfaction in “Love the way we bitch”. Life isn’t fair so lets not pretend that it is. —Fuck you
Big mouth at work
To a former friend at work: you can’t talk about other people’s personal lives to your friends and coworkers and get away with it. I hope your letter of reprimand will serve as a reminder in the future. You have more tongue than a combat boot. Karma’s a bitch and so are you. —What goes…
Animal Control
I always thought that should I ever have a problem, you were only a call away. Today I learned the hard way that this is, sadly, not the case. As I left my house this morning, I was confronted by a brown medium- sized pitbull running unleashed down the street. His owner then appeared, out…
Please come home already?
I still miss you. I can’t stop thinking about you. You said you didn’t want to fuck it up? Well, you did. Now please come back and fix it. I know you’re enjoying what you’re doing right now, but is it REALLY worth it? You’re missing out on a lot of fun things here too,…
Halifax embraces World Cup
Fans of footie are gearing up for the world-shaking, month-long soccer tournament and Spring Garden Road eatery Gatsby’s (5675 Spring Garden Road, 429-9999) has new owners who want you to know they’re ready for your bum in their seats when the whistle blows on June 11. They’re powering up a 106-inch high-def screen for taking…
Hair versus oil
For those paying close attention to the events happening off the coast of Louisiana and Florida, you may have heard that American hair salons are helping with the clean-up efforts. “Hair is very absorbent, it absorbs oil particularly” says Malcolm Norton of Thumpers (1813 Granville Street, 429-4900), who is also the president of the Cosmotology…
The Movies! Lurve!
Dear Movies: I love you. I know sometimes you’re bad, sometimes you’re silly, often you’re a great way to spend a couple hours. Lately though, you’ve been helping me get over the fact the Desert Princess has been gone for 4 months now, and there may be at least another 1 left before I pick…
Dear Watermelon Kisses
You are the best of inspiration, this is to the girl with the sunlit brown eyes: You opened my world so much. You’re the perfect person to stare up at the stars with even though you’re not mine. Thank you for everything. And thanks for restoring my faith in people! You win. —Curly Haired Ginger
To my best friend in the whole world
I know we don’t get to spend too much time together on account of busy work schedules, but I cherish every moment we have together. You are truly the best friend I’ve ever had, and will be so until we’re crotchety old bags, sitting in our rocking chairs. —Your other wife
Knitted Graffiti/ Tree Cozy
To the individual, or group of individuals that knitted the beautiful tree cozy on the corner of Queen St. and Spring Garden, You made my day. Everything from the colors, to the patterns, to the sheer extensiveness of the article was wonderful. People have been smiling all day as they walk past. Keep on rocking…
Bitch & Run
Many thanks to the asshat who banged into my van in a parking lot and didn’t leave a note… very considerate of you. Almost $4000 worth of repairs later, I’m still trying to think of a great way to really thank you! At least I get my van painted and a shiny new rental car…
Garbage Guy at the Theatre:
I went to Splice tonight. It was actually pretty okay, in a Cronenberg-y way. I was drawn in to the story of a mutant and the husband and wife team that created it. I laughed at the deliberately bad situations of mutant sex and generally had a good time being immersed in the story. 25…
Constipated dress shop girl thinks “halter top” means “long-sleeved dress”
Downtown Dress Shop: I went in there on Saturday. I politely asked the lady in there if I could have a look at the halter dress in the window. Pissed off that I interrupted her important task of flipping through the racks, she hummed and hawed and pointed at a rack across the room, “Right…
The 80’s
If there was a decade to never resurrect, it’s the 1980’s. It’s not that I hold it in any poor esteem, after all, it’s the decade that I grew up in, and it had the best cartoons! But, in about a week, Hollywood is releasing 2 films that scream “the 80’s”. The A-Team and The…
Are you mentally challenged, or just a pervert?
To the half-wit who smashed a window in order to get into my car’s trunk on Hollis St. on Wednesday night: You left $500 in cash, 1.75 l. of gin, 1 l. of tequila, 1 l. of Cointreau, a case of beautiful wine (worth about $400), an antique sterling silver pitcher, and a brand new…
To my coworker:
I understand that you’re a perfectionist but some people, like myself, make mistakes occasionally. Constructive criticism is one thing, but don’t know how long I can take this smug, holier-than-thou attitude. I came here to bitch but I really just want to plead with you to PLEASE stop acting this way. I already have a…
Quotas?
I parked my car and put enough money in for 50 minutes. I came out 50 minutes later and had a ticket. You must have written the ticket BEFORE my meter expired, put it on my car the minute it expired and jumped behind a tree. I work in sales and you must have daily…
Salt in draught Beer
Ok – I was asked if I’d ever heard of people putting salt in their draught beer and said that I had and did it myself years ago (25+). The questioner said it was BS and an old wives tale – say it aint so. Surely there must be others who have heard of this…
Halifax gallery opens
Now open down near the waterfront is The Dancing Beaver Gallery (5110 Prince Street, 406-3332), just across from the Maritime Museum. Its mandate is to offer the work of Nova Scotian artists and artisans, including leather crafts, jewellery, knitting, pottery, stained glass, glass work, sculpture, watercolour and acrylic paintings, with, at the moment, 29 local…
Thai food eatery opens
It’s been a number of different restaurants, including Persian eatery Parseh Shiraz, right next to the Stardust Motel on the Bedford Highway, but now it is Thai Ivory Cuisine (1067 Bedford Highway, 431-8424). It reportedly has a huge menu of Thai delicacies, which should thrill those in Bedford who’ve been craving those special Thai flavours…
Happy Friday
It’s Friday! The day turned right around, didn’t it? Beautiful. I’ve been listening to this song all day, from LCD Soundsystem’s new album, This is Happening. I am on a big LCD/DFA/James Murphy kick recently (I am a lucky girl and will be seeing him in but a few short days here.) A lot of…
Corporate Research Associates poll is completely meaningless
The Chronicle-Herald, CBC and Metro have completely botched their reporting of a Corporate Research Associates poll that supposedly showed a collapse in support for the provincial NDP. In truth, the NDP may or may not be losing support, but the polling data doesn’t support either conclusion. At issue are the responses to one of three…
Pick up your shit!
As a former responsible dog owner, it really pisses me off to see dog owners letting their pets have a shit where ever they want and not cleaning it up. I’m appalled with the owners of the white bull terrier walking through Mount Olivet Cemetery on Thursday evening around 5pm. They were walking ahead of…
Alarming Results
To the asshole who’s stupid Nissan SUV was parked illegally behind my apartment building with a broken alarm going off continuously for over 2 hours: You’re absolutely brain dead and inconsiderate, and you’re lucky you drove away before someone smashed your car to pieces. Even more of a piss off, though, were the officials we…
A friendly smile to start the day
To the crossing guard at North & Windsor – your bright and sincere smile is my favorite part of my walk to work! Thanks for making the sun shine on even the gloomiest mornings. —Coffee and cell phone in hand
Good Samaritan
To the guy in the blue dress shirt and black “nerd” glasses at a Robie/Spring Garden area coffee shop who jumped up twice to help me with my awkward stroller: you were the only one who made an effort to help, and you couldn’t have been kinder. Thanks for making life a little easier for…
Tobin Street Beauty
We crossed paths on Thursday night. I was coming into my building wearing a black jacket and toque, you were headed into the laundry room. You are absolutely stunning and made my night. —MJ
Superstore Superlady
Thanks to the lady who let me go ahead of her on account of me only having two items and only two cashes being open. I usually avoid Superstore but didn’t plan ahead this week, hence my 30 minute lunch would have been whittled down to about 10 minutes if not for you. —Cranky
You saved my life!
If we had never met you, we would still be superficial clones. Then, we saw you. We got to know you better and we totally changed. We are way happier now and loving life. You influenced us to become real again. Thank you so much. —New life
Thank you
Thankyouthankyouthankyou for not liking him anymore. He was a jerk and you knew it. He pretended to like you and so did his friends to get your hopes up. He wasn’t worth it and never will be. There are guys out there who are older, nicer and much cuter who would date you so why…
Mme.
You are the coolest teacher. Everyone I know loves you cause you are so awesome. You listen to us and understand us and you’re totally fun. The school year’s almost over and we’re all going to miss you. The kids who will have you next year are LUCKY! —Student
Polyarmourous
I’m excited to be able to appreciate you in this new way. You’re wonderful, beautiful and inspiring. Taking things slow is smart. It’s building my anticipation and desire. —Reclaimed Cunt Lover
Clothing sale on now
Visit chic boutique Wildflower (5553 Clyde Street, 420-0364) today (Friday, June 4), tomorrow and Sunday for a 20 percent off sale on everything in the store. Starting this weekend, Wildflower’s hours are as follows: Monday: Closed, Tuesday and Wednesday: 10am – 6pm, Thursday and Friday: 10am – 7pm, Saturday: 10am – 6pm, Sunday: 12noon -…
Bullies in cars
To the drivers at the North Park St/Cogswell/etc intersection by Citadel High and the Commons: when you continue to make left turns after your advance green light has finished, giving no thought to pedestrians waiting to cross, you leave us sprinting across the intersection – the crossing light is short enough as is – to…
Why?
Why did you even become a vice principal? We all know you hate kids anyway. When you try to make a joke, you end up insulting us and your smile is creepy. You don’t trust any of us and never give anyone another chance. No one likes you! No one ever will. You’re mean, fake,…
You got in by a shootout!
Flyers: You are the most awful team in the NHL. You’re fans are assholes, Pronger too. Your uniforms are ugly and so is your logo. I hate you. Montreal should have kicked your asses and I hope Chicago does now! —Habsfan
To the car who side swiped me on my bike:
Hello! Bikes in traffic should be treated like traffic. You wouldn’t push a car out of the lane by sideswiping it, so why would you do that to a biker who is in front of you in traffic? Luckily I kept my balance and pulled out of the street to calm myself down. Being hit…
Less of a bitch, more of a wonder…
I am amazed at the growing number of people posting “wanted” ads for apartments – especially with specific conditions. Do you really expect someone else to provide you with housing? —Me
HRM auditor general to investigate Halifax fire department
Halifax’s auditor general will examine how the fire department manages its equipment, and is focusing on how the city responds to freedom of information requests. Auditor general Larry Munro released his work plan today. The plan outlines in very broad terms what the AG’s office will work on for the 2010/11 fiscal year. Included in…
Ferraris roll into town
Eight Ferraris have shown up in the courtyard of the Paramount, next to the Lord Nelson on South Park. People at the scene were cagey about what’s up. Apparently each car has a different owner, and they’ll be on their way to Montreal, either tomorrow morning or Saturday, depending on who I was talking to.…
Happy with my new shoes.
You sold me some new shoes, two pair actually, and now a week has passed and I am still thinking of you. You were so cute and smelled so good I had never enjoyed shopping more. One day I will be bolder and return to ask you out but for now just know that thinking…
Sandwich girl
Hey Sandwich Girl: First, you’re cute as a button. The last time I came into your Fruitique for a sandwich I was really feeling crappy and alone. Every time I come in you seem to be a bit nicer to me, and your attention does my soul good while I’m in the middle of a…
If you were a carpenter, and I was a lady….
Although it’s hella early to be even thinking about this kind of thing, I know we were both a bit disappointed when the surprise didn’t happen. It made me realize how right everything feels with you. In past relationships I thought it was right but back then I didn’t know what to look for. Kindness,…
Quinpool pedestrian – When you get hit, you earned it!
To the pedestrian dashing across Quinpool this morning to catch the 20 bus downtown… We all watched in horror from the bus as you dashed in front of it and then a Purolator truck – both of which had to slam on the brakes to avoid killing you. Your non-nonchalant attitude & annoyance at the…
After 6 years, you are STILL an asshole
This has been a long time coming! I can’t remember what you look like, I can’t even remember what kind of car you drive… but I won’t forget the day we met for the rest of my life. It was an unbelievably gorgeous day so my friend and I decided to take my little Boston…
Huge bitch post delays
Why are there such inconsistent and long delays in bitch posts being submitted? My god how antiquated is the blog uses? Obviously this is someones hobby, and they have a day job. Rather than have a person do this, why not let users approve posts by voting them as inappropriate or spam, or just voting…
I thought being stupid was a bad thing
I think it’s really sad when I see girls in my high school dumbing themselves down. It’s very irritating hearing their idiotic questions when it’s quite clear they’re not THAT stupid. Imbrace intelligence, ‘cuz eventually we’ll all be out of our goddamn minds. —Black Superman
Just a t-shirt!
Dear guy at the gym tonight: I’m not sure if it was the friendly hello smile I gave you as I passed you or the old Teamsters tee I was wearing, but the scowl you managed to throw my way every time we met on the track was *really* impressive. Really, was it the union…
ER not a WALK-IN-CLINIC
I know the meaning of an EMERGENCY varies considerably from person to person, but an ER is for EMERGENCIES. This means, you go there when your life is in DANGER and you could die. You don’t go for a shallow CUT, the FLU, a COLD, because you’re PREGNANT and especially not ABDOMINAL PAIN after you…
Another Vehicle Bitch
This is a bitch for all the single-car motorists in Halifax. Each day, the city is congested with your “necessity” luxuries that endanger the lives of cyclists and pedestrians hourly. Then, most of you drivers bitch about the BP oil spill. How does that make any sense? You over-rely on the very thing you’re devastated…
BJ Snowden to Play Sappyfest
Sappyfest has confirmed the addition of outsider music legend B.J. Snowden to the 2010 lineup. Snowden, a graduate of the Berklee College of Music, was discovered in a record store in New York’s East Village when the staff pulled her tape out of a bargain bag and threw in on the stereo on a whim.…
More North Dakota
Day 31 May 30, Day 30Turtle Lake to McClusky, North Dakota21.8 miles (35.08 kms)Near the end of the day, getting towards the McClusky Canal which I will follow to the Lonetree Wildlife Management Area, a strange little building hoves up in the distance. I am on a gravel road where two vehicles have passed me…
Stuart Wade Gives Us a Little Soul
lean back, lean back This weekend, listen for the chug-chug-chug of vintage Vespas and the clackity-clack of tiny flats wearing holes in the linoleum— these are the sounds of the Northern Soul DJ Night. This installment will be held at this Saturday night at Club 1668 (9pm, $5) and features Simon Thibault, Candice Mackenzie-Storer, Henri…
Bill Karsten
2010 grade: C+ 2009 grade: C+ 2008 grade: C 2007 grade: C- I was having a hard time deciding whether Bill Karsten should get a B- or a C+, so I went back and read what I wrote last year, and here’s what I found: “I was wavering between a B- and C+ on this…
44 Inch Chest
A top-flight cast of British actors, including Ray Winstone, Ian McShane and Tom Wilkinson, is wasted in this dull, aimless tale about a man who may or may not seek violent revenge on his wife’s lover. Although his tough-guy friends think the answer’s obvious, cuckold Colin (Winstone) can’t decide whether to deliver the ultimate punishment…
Uncorking corkage fees
An accepted way of dining in most larger cities, the habit—and allowance—of bringing your own wine to a restaurant is still finding its coaster in Halifax. A good number of bars don’t allow it, but we searched around for which venues give you some of the best deals on corkage fees the city has to…
Jackie Barkhouse
2010 grade: B 2009 grade: C+ 2008 grade: C+ I’ve long thought Jackie Barkhouse has tremendous potential, and sure enough, here she is coming into her own, and starting to define herself politically. A union organizer, Barkhouse has a natural distrust for administrators and managers, but also understands that changing organizations takes planning, purpose and…
One Bloody Thing After Another
For fans of Joey Comeau’s web comic A Softer World, the writer’s newest project of a young adult horror novel is only a side step from his usual voice. Stripped of its horror elements, the story is about the best friendship—and possible romance—of two teenage girls, and what it means to be “family.” Add in…
Splice of life
“Splice very self-consciously owes a debt to many films,” says director Vincenzo Natali of his movie, which opens this week. Splice stars Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley as rebel geneticists, specializing in combining various animal DNAs to create new life-forms in the name of science and medical technology. Eventually their curiosity gets the better of…
Jim Smith
2010 grade: C+ 2009 grade: C- 2008 grade: D 2007 grade: C+ Last year, Jim Smith tried to escape council by throwing his hat in the NDP’s North Dartmouth riding contest for the provincial MLA seat, and got soundly trounced by the sitting MLA, Trevor Zinck, who was subsequently tossed out of the NDP caucus…
Ronald Reagan My Father
These stories aren’t always narrative and, when they are, they’re not conventionally so. The reader’s frequently left with the sense that the author believes certain conventions (for example, motivation and fullness of characters) are old, worn, unnecessary. Brian Joseph Davis’s characters usually come across as vessels to contain his social comment, satirical wit or to…
Refreshing Milks
It’s perhaps the most common advice for aspiring musicians: Don’t quit your day job. But concerned parents and IPA-saturated hecklers needn’t worry; Charlottetown-based indie-pop foursome Milks and Rectangles never wanted to, anyhow. Not when your band includes an alt-weekly freelancer, a veterinarian, an astronomer and a member of the Coast Guard. “We’re a pretty motley…
Mary Wile
2010 grade: F 2009 grade: D 2008 grade: D 2007 grade: C+ “Most of most of the time Wile is simply in over her head,” I wrote in last year’s report card. “She’s confused, she loses the conversation, she doesn’t understand what’s going on.” Since then, Wile’s shortcomings have slid from “most of the time”…
Born Ruffians
Remember when indie rock sounded, well, indie? Before every upstart buzz band had access to a pocket symphony? On their second album, Say It, Toronto’s Born Ruffians recall those simpler times. The stripped-down minimalism—guitar, bass, drums and little fuss—is endearing, and there are a handful of keepers on the record like the rolling “What to…
Hard-rocking women
Whether she’s performing on Canadian Idol or at Club 1668, Naomi-Joy Blackhall-Butler sways her hips, flips her hair and belts out husky melodies. Before the Aquestrya singer took the stage last Saturday, she chatted in the dim light of a closed Chinese restaurant. The temptress in a red dress and matching headband doesn’t fit the…
Jerry Blumenthal
2010 grade: C- 2009 grade: C I’d love to play poker with Jerry Blumenthal, because he’s got a completely predictable tell: his tie. When he wears a loud tie, he’s strident and combative; subdued or no tie, and he’s reserved and agreeable. When council discusses buses, Blumenthal wears a loud tie, and thrashes through the…
The Rolling Stones
Mick might’ve recorded vocals for some of these previously unreleased tracks and outtakes, but the boon of this extra disc, which comes as part of the 40th anniversary edition of Exile on Main Street, is the booming kick drum and bustle of Charlie Watts. The drummer kicked ass from behind his kit. And Bill Wyman’s…
Playing the rails
Gianna Lauren is about to hop a train to the other side of Canada in what looks to be a new local musician trend: for free, as long as she performs while travelling on the VIA Rail legs of her trip. “A few fellow musicians have spoken highly of the experience,” she says, naming artists…
Sue Uteck
2010 grade: C 2009 grade: C+ 2008 grade: B- 2007 grade: B Last December, Sue Uteck appeared on CBC’s Information Morning the day after I did to call me out on my months-long investigation into the “tax reform” proposal. “What does he know?” asked Uteck rhetorically. “He just sits there and Twitters through council meetings.”…
Sally Seltmann
Heart That’s Pounding gives you the feeling something transformative occurred in Sally Seltmann’s world since she released her last album in 2007. Compared with New Buffalo (her lauded faux-soft-jazz nom-de-plume), Heart That’s Pounding does not hide behind any pretenses or abstract lyrics. Her struggles are bared with plain-spoken honesty. Heart falls into the sweeter-than-most category…
Sleepless in Halifax
The Sleepless Nights and Myles Deck & The Fuzz tour poster shows a roomy white Dodge Ram van, ready to take on the Canadian road. Sadly, Sleepless Nights members are now planning Bettie White’s funeral. “Three days before we were set to leave for this tour, our beloved van broke down to the point of…
Jennifer Watts
2010 grade: A- 2009 grade: B I’ve never before awarded an A grade and thought I never would, lest I be accused of getting soft. So I searched high and low looking for a reason to knock Watts down a letter grade—I reviewed my notes to see if Watts has ever made a boneheaded argument,…
The Brains
Not to be confused with an Atlanta band of some note 30 years ago, these Brains throb in Montreal. Being of the psychobilly strain, undead division, it would seem they’ve named themselves after their favourite food. Fortunately, the skills are all there, so even if the ghoulish schtick plays a little thin, The Brains are…
What chamber to choose
Chris Wilcox is driving to get some thumbtacks. “That’s what us high-powered administrators do best,” he says with a laugh. Wilcox is the managing and artistic director of the Scotia Festival of Music and has been working with it since its beginnings in 1980. “People no longer have to go to Europe to listen to…
Russell Walker
2010 grade: B 2009 grade: B- 2008 grade: C- 2001 grade: D Russell Walker is still riding the success of his anti-“tax reform” work. Readers will recall that last year Walker single-handedly derailed the move to place transit taxes under a “tax reform”-like fee for service system, as opposed to the traditional assessment-based system. Walker…
Holy Fuck
Holy Fuck is what it is. It does what it does. And what it does is study a beat from all angles, add to the beat, build on top of the beat, to see what it’ll support. A band such as King Cobb Steelie did it, as did the stylists of Krautrock. To a point,…
Sex-negative bullshit
Q I’m a straight male college student in a relationship which had been going great. The only incongruity was that, for a religious reason, I don’t want to have penetrative vaginal sex before marriage. I’m up for anything else—I would eat her out, piss on her—but not vaginal sex. I made this clear at the…
Debbie Hum
2010 grade: D- 2009 grade: D+ 2008 grade: C+ 2007 grade: C+ Debbie Hum cries—a lot. Initially, a few years ago, Hum only cried when council was having a moment of silence for a recently deceased person she used to work with, and who would fault her for that? Then, she started crying when just…
Lorincz on Environment
I’m a few minutes late to meet with Tamara Lorincz, but she’s still standing when I arrive at the cafe. “It gave me a chance to put up some posters,” she says. Never a wasted moment. After five years as executive director of the Nova Scotia Environment Network, Lorincz is moving on. The tragic death…
Linda Mosher
2010 grade: B- 2009 grade: C- 2008 grade: C- 2007 grade: D Linda Mosher marches to her own drummer—sometimes directly into battle, sometimes right off the cliff. Like Dawn Sloane, Mosher has a large personality that sometimes annoys people and, as with Sloane, that’s beginning to score her points in the report card department. Mosher…
Lifting the burka off Sex and the City 2
The Sex and the City franchise’s pop-cultural touchstone status has turned once reasonable and articulate film critics into braying, hysterical gasbags. Are screechingly hostile reviews like that of The Stranger’s Lindy West or the Chicago Sun-Times’ Roger Ebert necessary? Why not calm down and write up the movie as it is: a terrible romantic comedy…
Free Will Astrology
GEMINI (May 21-June 20) As they orbit the planet, astronauts witness as many as 15 sunrises and sunsets each day. Time isn’t really speeded up for them, but it seems like it. I expect you to experience a similar feeling in the coming weeks, Gemini. You may have the fantasy that you’re living the equivalent…
Steve Streatch
2010 grade: D 2009 grade: F 2008 grade: F 2007 grade: F I keep checking what’s left of Streatch’s hair for rave glitter, because if he isn’t dropping Ecstasy, I don’t how else to explain his recent transformation from a cranky bastard into everyone’s best friend. Back in the day, his shouting matches with other…
Dawn Sloane
2010 grade: B+ 2009 grade: B 2008 grade: B 2007 grade: B- The best thing about Dawn Sloane is that so many people hate her. You wouldn’t believe the expletives, putdowns and rude descriptions that are tossed my way concerning Sloane; they even make me blush—they’re that bad. She must be doing something right. In…
Bob Harvey
2010 grade: C- 2009 grade: B- 2008 grade: B+ 2007 grade: B+ Everything I just wrote about Brad Johns and “tax reform” above, applies equally well to Bob Harvey, who represents the other end of Sackville. Harvey gets a bit higher grade, tho, because of his occasional historical asides. Still, two years ago Harvey received…
Ready or not
The world of books is in transition. It exists somewhere between the bound and the binary. Literary journals and news magazines have relaunched themselves as online-only editions. Apple’s iPad just hit the market, joining other e-readers such as Amazon’s Kindle and Indigo’s Kobo. There’s plenty to discuss. At the upcoming BookCamp Halifax, a free day…
Brad Johns
2010 grade: D 2009 grade: C 2008 grade: D 2007 grade: D Last year, I took Johns to task for not being engaged with his council colleagues, and for generally distancing himself from City Hall, preferring to concentrate his efforts in Sackville. What a difference a year makes —since then, Johns convinced the other councillors to…
Barry Dalrymple
2010 grade: D- 2009 grade: D Dalrymple is angry: just ask him. By his way of thinking, everything HRM does is purposely designed to screw over the people of Fall River—every recreation plan, every extension of a water line, every road paving contract is, in Dalrymple’s mind, unjustly penalizing the residents of his district, and…
Tim Outhit
2010 grade: C- 2009 grade: C Some of the best times to be watching a council meeting are when Tim Outhit gets up to give a five-minute speech on how council is wasting time discussing a petty issue. “Then sit down and shut up!” yells Gloria McCluskey from across the room. “Your worship!” shouts Bill…
Steve Adams
2010 grade: D 2009 grade: B- 2008 grade: C- 2007 grade: B- Last year, I bumped Steve Adams up from a C- to a B-, because he had two major successes: dealing with the aftermath of the Spryfield fire and somehow landing a Sambro bus entirely outside the usual transit planning process (that doesn’t mean…
David Hendsbee
2010 grade: D 2009 grade: C 2008 grade: D 2007 grade: D+ There’s no question that David Hendsbee is the most unpredictable of the councillors, but whether that’s because he’s a free thinker with a broad streak of independence or because he simply can’t make up his mind is open for debate. I’ll give him…
Reg Rankin
2010 grade: D 2009 grade: D Speaking of speaking style, now we come to Reg Rankin, a fan of dropping Latin phrases and wild hand gestures. I worry that Rankin will one day give a passionate speech about clause 12.2 in Part Three of bylaw N-300, and an emphatic “ipso facto” will knock neighbouring councillor…
Prince of Persia fails the sands of time
Some market research idea of fun, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time turns a likable 2003 video game into a whole movie of Jake Gyllenhaal jumping off rooftops and rocks. Its story rhythms are as uncompelling as a Michael Bay film (it’s most easily consumed in two-minute intervals). And without Bay’s eye for postcard…
Lorelei Nicoll
2010 grade: C 2009 grade: C- Lorelei Nicoll is friendly to a fault, which is starting to become a problem: I’ve yet to hear her raise her voice in angry disagreement, or give that passionate speech that stakes out a clear position, detractors be damned. Her natural instinct is to position herself exactly in the…
Peter Lund
2010 grade: D 2009 grade: C Number One: Peter Lund is a nice guy. Number Two: I’m still waiting for him to make a significant contribution to council. He only gets graded for one of those things. I find Lund interesting, in that his professional background as an environmental engineer tells him he should be…
The Uncontainables: grab your tights and cape
Thirtysomething Dance Co-operative’s members have one thing in common: “We’re a bunch of adults who just can’t seem to give up the passion for getting on stage,” says Kate Hayter, the group’s artistic director. The strength is found in their differences, and this year it’s superhero strength. “We’ve had a very challenging year; we felt…
Gloria McCluskey
2010 grade: B+ 2009 grade: B- 2008 grade: B 2007 grade: C These are cynical times, when any number of scam artists and bullshitters are trying to pull one or another devious scheme over on the public, and especially so at City Hall, where bullshit sometimes takes on a life of its own, up becomes…
Buck 65: The Lost Tapes
MuchMusic’s CRTC application to reduce the number of videos the station plays is a giant shrug. YouTube may have killed the video stars, but musicians like Rich Terfry, celebrating 20-odd years in music, will keep the artform alive. Loosely inspired by stolen live tapes, the hour-long video is part concert documentary (from his Situation tour),…
Venomous encounters
Snakes? Oh, I knew Snakes. He was real intense, on account of how he always looked you in the eyes. He knew the score, Snakes, and he knew you knew, too—a single twitch and you’d be worm food, right there. The feds got wise, someone rolled and they shut him down for a little while;…
Darren Fisher
2010 grade: C+ 2009 grade: N/A Darren Fisher is the newest councillor, having won last summer’s byelection to replace Andrew Younger, who moved on to Province House. Fisher is the anti-politician, content to leave the grandstanding to others. When he does speak, he’s short and to the point: “I support this” or “I won’t be…
Peter Kelly
2010 grade: C 2009 grade: C- 2008 grade: D 2007 grade: D You know what would be super cool? If we had a mayor who was busted for trying to smuggle a gun onto an airplane. Alas, we’ve only got a mayor who distractedly brings a forgotten bullet through security. But that’s Peter Kelly for…
Palatial appetites
“I can’t tell you I’m something I’m not,” croons Meat Loaf, unwilling and unable to get a perfect score on his song’s three-point checklist. The owners of Indian Buffet Palace could learn a lesson from Mr. Aday. The restaurant is definitely Indian and certainly a buffet, but it is by no means a palace. But…
Go Local: Hydrostone
The Hydrostone is a north end oasis of classy boutiques, eateries and galleries. With a gorgeous, tree-lined parkette just across the street, it’s a springtime consumer destination unparalleled on the peninsula. It’s about to get even more popular, as monolithic coffee corporation Starbucks is just about to open a new location in the new building…
Stand By Your Woman
MR. B – Thank you for standing by me no matter what, no matter where, no matter why. Much love & appreciation. I can’t imagine my life without you in it; you are the one & only & always. —MRS. B
Kitty Kat found
On Victoria Day weekend, our beloved indoor kitty got out during the night and we didn’t discover him missing until early morning. Thankfully, he came back on his own the following night, but to our wonderful neighbours on Young St, Cork St, Oxford St, Bayers Rd, etc who kept an eye out for Loki -…
Dumbass Drivers
Dear Oldie Olderson: Please stay home during rush hour. If you pull out onto Kearney Lake Road when you see a small opening and I have to get hard on the brakes because you don’t know where the gas pedal is, you should have waited. Two choices dickhead: wait for a bigger gap in traffic…
Dark Grey
Herbal Girl: Does your husband know what you’ve been doing? I won’t tell him what’s been going on, but some of your friends are really thinking that you should tell him about the secrets you’ve been keeping. He’s a nice guy and deserves to know. —Couldn’t bear to watch
Matthieu Aikins wins Canadian Association of Journalists prize
Congratulations to Matthieu Aikins. On Saturday, his Coast cover story “Unembedded in Afghanistan” took the prize as the country’s best Print Feature at the Canadian Association of Journalists annual awards. The CAJ calls the awards “Canada’s only recognition for the best in investigative journalism across the country” (“Unembedded” was up against stories from both the…
As You Wish
We shared a favorite book, you used to read it to me in bed. Then, things changed and I hurt you. I am trying to fix all that now. I have never stopped loving you and I am flying home from the ROK. I hope You will want to see me, you are amazing and…
Will Be Wonderful
Bland Street is the most beautiful place in Nova Scotia. Sleeping Beauty: I can’t walk by a piano or see a TCBG (Tall Confident Blond Goddess) without thinking of you. A warm mid-morning breeze caresses the sun swept lake surface, rays of gold excite me to blink, reflected from elfin wavelets. I sit relaxed and…
The Ginger Will Dance Again!
To the cute ginger with a dodgy knee: All the best for you as you go into knee surgery. Know that all your friends love you, and can’t wait to have you dancing the night away once again. Here’s wishing a speedy recovery. —Akon
To the table of 2 tonight:
Thanks for the generous tip of $15 on a bill that was less than $50. People like you make serving in a restaurant a LOT more enjoyable. You told me everything was great and the food was delicious. But let me tell you that if you come in again, it’s going to be even better,…
Commons concert
Oh yay! More bands a lot of us have forgotten about, for good reason. What a crappy lineup of bands – Kid Rock?!, fuck off. The only band that is half decent is Weezer. We are officially the city for washed up bands to visit. I wouldn’t pay 25 cents to witness this shite. —Flunch
I hope you dropped your cake
To the asshole who almost ran me over on a Barrington Street sidewalk last night: SMARTEN THE FUCK UP! Why the hell were you riding your bike on the sidewalk? And in the dark, at that? It’s morons like you that give cyclists a bad name. I’m a cyclist too, but I keep it on…
Nova Scotia Courts
Grow some balls! I don’t read the bible very often (never in fact) but an eye for an eye works for me. Too many people are getting away with murder, literally! Under the influence of marijuana? I’ve never wanted to kill anyone when high, murdered a few hot dogs though… The next time one of…
Dear best friend,
Telling you I fell for you, after you dragged it out of me that drunken night… Worst thing that happened! You tease and flirt with me endlessly. I know we vowed nothing will change between us but damn, its hard! —Love, Me. (Regrettably)
Back To The Future Part I
Day 26 The McClusky Canal Day 26Turtle Lake to West Park Lake, North Dakota20.8 miles (33.47 kms) Day 26 What is this handsome bird? Just out of Turtle Lake I see the McClusky Canal and its Maintenance Roads on either side. It’s a beautiful day and I take the canal. The walking is good. In…
