I went to Splice tonight. It was actually pretty okay, in a Cronenberg-y way. I was drawn in to the story of a mutant and the husband and wife team that created it. I laughed at the deliberately bad situations of mutant sex and generally had a good time being immersed in the story.
25 minutes before the end of the show, just as all the loose ends are being tied up, plot-wise and so on, the usher pushes the big garbage bin down to the seats and opens the top of it, letting it fall noisily. He then used a flashlight to read something on a clipboard, then stood there, shifting between two different spots. The ways this was distracting? A bunch.
I know it wasn’t an Oscar-worthy film, but I was completely taken out of the story every time this guy did something. They run slides before the show telling the audience to turn off their phones/texts, shut up, and generally not disturb and distract the other customers. Here’s an employee flaunting that.
I didn’t want to cause a larger distraction by telling him to knock it off because I didn’t know how much he was bothering the rest of the (surprisingly large) audience. Me griping out loud I thought would be worse to everyone than what he was already doing.
I complained on my way out to a manager. I could have asked for/demanded a free ticket, but I told the manager I would be very happy if they would just tell these guys that people spend their money to come see a movie, not feel like the waiter who drops the bill off at your table while you’re still on an appetizer, then stands there and makes you feel like you’re not welcome anymore.
Hey usher: I know you have a job to do, but it wasn’t supposed to start for another 25 minutes. One of the reasons I moved into my neighborhood is I love that theatre. I go to a couple movies every week. I don’t want to have to drive out to Bayers Lake to watch movies.
Please be more considerate for the paying customers.
The regular bitchers may now point out how I’m wrong for this. 🙂
I’m even sighing with my real nom de plume. —Wheelie p
This article appears in Jun 3-9, 2010.
You aren’t wrong at all Wheels. When ushers begin behaving with all the decorum and consideration of 70% of moviegoers you just know there’s a problem. If anything, you were probably too moderate in your response. Let’s hope the manager got the message and didn’t just retreat to his office to share a fatty and shit-laugh with the overzealous employee.
don’t go yammering the fucking thing away, or even part of it. someone might actually wanna go see it. and these guys do what they gotta do, get over it, or wait til it comes out on stagevu.com, and download it for free.
Need a translator.
don’t give away the plot lines wheelie, i presume/assume/surmise
Yet another occasion where a slingshot would haven’t come in handy. A discrete shot to the neck would have sent him running without drawing attention to yourself. I really must make one for myself…..
Whoops. That last post should have read: “would have come in handy”.
i have always like the idea of using a blow dart…you don’t have to correct yourself bd
Blow dart is better.
I don’t like taking up extra space to edit my own posts, paingirl, but I hatehatehate making careless mistakes.
It’s a good thing I “gave away” less than the trailer did, I guess, Paingirl.
Thanks.
W-P
Hey Admiral, thanks for the input. I know it wasn’t the manager’s fault the usher was a dolt. I wanted her to see my point without getting all “up in her grille” and treating her like shit, just because an employee did a dumb thing.
I could tell she was genuinely troubled by what this guy did, so I think I handled it right. In the long run it may make a difference, though noone’s perfect.
As for Life Sucks, I’m not going to pay $12 to watch the usher start his job 25 minutes early. Yes, he has a job to do, but it hadn’t started yet. You understand that, right?
As for not ruining it for anyone by giving away the plot, or “yammering” etc, here’s the ending of the movie, just for you.
A flying saucer lands and picks up the main character, Billy Pilgrim. He is taken to a planet called Tralfamadore, where he is put into an artificial environment with porn actress Montana Wildhack. The aliens wish to observe them and the way they interact, as Billy slingshots through time.
How’s that?
Aaaah. Valerie Perrine and her her large 70’s breasts. Thanks for the mammaries Wheelie. Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk.
you are a fucking asshole. hope you shit out blue popcorn for a week. and by the way, i just started to download it last night, and will save the money, and myself, from seeing idiots like you there.
Whatever.
Admiral- my pleasure. Nyuk!
Complain to the manager. You’ll get free passes.