Win Wellness Package with The Yoga Loft
This month The Yoga Loft (5663 Cornwallis Street, 429-3330) is holding a $1,000 Wellness Package contest, which is free to enter. If you win, you’ll get more than just free yoga, you get a Swedish and a Thai yoga massage, a nutritional consultation, a raw food cooking class, an Ikebana lesson, a Chinese energy treatment,…
Chatters Opens
Alberta-based hair salon/beauty parlour/beauty supplies store Chatters opened a location in Dartmouth Crossing in December (86 Hector Gate, 407-1011) and today, March 4, is opening a second location in Bayers Lake (194 Chain Lake Drive, 407-4124).
Life drawing
Hey, there’s nothing more obnoxious than getting pissed off at your drawing and savagely crumpling up your paper and throwing it on the floor while the rest of us are trying to concentrate. Get a life. —William Bourguereau
Cross-burning punks
Anyone else see the picture of the punk who burned the cross on the front page of the paper? Is it just me or does it seem pretty stupid to be wearing a G-Unit hat when being charged with a racist act? It even looks like he was wearing it backwards too. And what’s up…
To the artist with the “$” in her name
Please shut your shithole and get electrocuted with that lightning bolt on your face. That is all. —Thank You, Come Again
Fires…WTF
What the eff is up with all the fires lately? Seems kinda fishy to me! Anyone else? —Annoyed
Peanut Butter Juno-Time
photo by the lovely Julé Malet-Veale The Juno nominations were announced this morning, and although the list features the usual suspects (Nickleblegh, Billy Talent, Michael Bublé and yes, despite the fact I quite like him, Joel Plaskett is ubiquitous enough at these award ceremonies that he, too counts as a usual suspect) there are some…
STFU and GBTW
To the gym etiquette challenged woman at Nubody’s: Shut the fuck up and get back to work. While I understand that you prefer to use your time at the gym as an opportunity to gossip and that you are there to do the MINIMUM amount of work in the MAXIMUM amount of time, some of…
Wilco
You’re like an old friend. —Rock Out
Low on funds, EH?
If the budget is so tight, I think that the people that are to blame for over-spending should pay more taxes. Why do they have to fly all over the world for meetings, not to mention they fly first class on my tax dollars. What is wrong with video conferencing? Conference call? I think a…
Full moon in the morning
For the love of god, PLEASE invest in a belt. Or find a string and tie it through your belt loops…just find SOMETHING to hold up your fucking pants. It’s bad enough you caught my eye with your stupid blue hair and dirty appearance…but did you really need me to see the majority of your…
Brown sugar
Drums beating, cold English blood runs hot Lady of the house wonderin’ when it’s gonna stop House boy knows that he’s doing alright You shoulda heard him just around midnight Brown sugar how come you taste so good, now? Brown sugar just like a young girl should, now Ah, get along, brown sugar how come…
I love you, googly-eyed billboard
To the hilarious people responsible for putting googly eyes on the MSVU billboard on Cunard Street: Thank you for making me chuckle to myself every single time I walked by those peering, bulging eyes. I’ve been meaning to write this for weeks and weeks, and tonight I noticed the billboard is gone, replaced with something…
SGR punk kids
To the what I assumed were teenage high school shitbags out on their lunch break panhandling: get a life. To the one that asked my friend for a smoke as we were walking by and she said NO, then you said, “Is it because I’m black?” Where the fuck do you get off saying something…
Scotia Square changes
Scotia Square’s Pay a Dollar Store closed on Friday last week, and that isn’t the only change in the downtown mall: The Wicker Emporium is closing, “hopefully at the end of March,” says a helpful staff person over the buzz of customers and cash registers. She says “hopefully” because it’s possible they could close sooner.…
Still…like…
My friend and I were on our way home from the Spring Garden Road Library today. Two girls got on the bus and sat nearby (I think they were university students). In my humble opinion they were talking rather loud. I have tinnitus—ringing in the ears—so if I found it loud then it must have…
Horrible, horrible
This past weekend, a friend of mine in Cape Breton was coming home from a dance with his boyfriend. On their way home, they were verbally and physically assaulted by three young men simply because they are gay. My friend was left with a black eye, many bruises and severe emotional scarring. He is fortunate…
Shitty pizza
Why the fuck can’t I get a decent pizza in this province? Everywhere I go it’s thin, chewy cardboard crust, dry, undercooked, with SFA for toppings. Isn’t there a place that has nice, greasy, thick crust with lots of shit on it? —FatBastard
Lena Katrina Croaker!
Today, while perusing a downtown clothing boutique, I came across your clothing creations! I remember talking with you about it back two summers ago in our dirty old apartment. The clothes look amazing (of course), and I hear they’re selling really well, I’m so happy for you! I’m sorry that summer was so crappy, and…
Why is there garbage in my green bin?
Why? Why is there garbage in my green bin? I want to throw my organics into the bin so my house will not stink but some motherfucker has filled my green bin with garbage! I don’t want to have to pull your anonymous fucking trash from the green bin. Whoever you are I hope you…
Goodbye panties
I am only now realizing how fantastic it feels to go commando! So goodbye lace and frills and hello skirts and thrills. —Bare
Billy the Kid
Hey there lover man…so I discovered you have a fiancee you’ve been cheating on with me and several other ladies. This is the internet age, dumbass, people find shit out. And thanks for saying you can’t wait to be naked with me again, I’m sure your girl would LOVE to hear about that one. I…
The Chronicle-Herald building is being destroyed
Fun times on Argyle Street today:
Breaking news: no change in HRM policing.
After two days of closed door meetings, Halifax city council has decided to make no change in the policing arrangements for HRM, mayor Peter Kelly has announced. The Halifax Police Department will continue to police in the urban areas, while the city will continue to contract with the RCMP for policing services in rural and…
Big wheels on the bus
Councillor Steve Streatch District 1, Eastern Shore- Musquodoboit Valley No bus service “Thanks Tim, you are right I am one member that does not (yet) have bus service in my district. I did however have the opportunity last week to step into one of the buses that is scheduled to serve our rural communities for…
Why does cable TV suck so much?
I pay $66 a month to get Bravo and Space plus The History Channel, etc… On the History channel they have movies like Planet of the Apes (the remake) and on Space they have endless re-runs of Independence Day, I Robot, SGU (the first 10 episodes over and over). MuchMusic isn’t music anymore, it’s garbage…
My disgusting moustache
I appreciate the fact that a lot of restaurants offer vegetarian- and vegan-friendly options in downtown Halifax, so me and my father can have a meal together, as we did today. What I did not appreciate is when I got my veggie burger, it was a disgusting frozen block of mashed-up vegetables that I recognized…
Politicians on the bus!
Today, city and provincial politicians showed off the two new diesel hybrid buses that will start service this afternoon. I jumped at the chance to come along for the ride, because this will likely be the only opportunity to see politicians actually on a bus– you may never again see this happen! Well, it wasn’t…
Video Difference: Tickets to Paradise
Dear Video Difference, I’m pretty into you . Let me count the ways: 1) You are the only video store in Halifax that carries The Cramps: Live at Napa State Mental Hospital. (I know. I’ve checked.) 2) You sell me cigarettes at 4am. 3) Your employees are sexy. Now there’s yet another reason to head…
Halifax Police Department vs RCMP
Sue Uteck is right. The debate over whether Halifax should extend its contract with the RCMP for policing in rural and suburban areas, or to instead give that responsibility to the Halifax Police Department, requires more, and public, information. But despite councillor Uteck’s move to make the issue public, I’m now sitting in the hallway…
Central Grill closes
“Burn-out,” says Evangelos Panopalis, giving a reason for the closure of The Central Grill (6303 Quinpool Road), a steakhouse the restaurateur started last summer when he moved his other business, Greek eatery Athens (6273 Quinpool Road) into the former Quincy’s space up the block. “I was working 15 hours a day,” says Panopalis. “It wasn’t…
First and last trip to a pet shop
This past Saturday my fiance, our twin girls and I decided to go to a pet shop after one of our daughters asked if we could go. We ended up at one in Burnside. What an eye-opener—those poor dogs held in those small, dirty glass boxes with no food and no water, rolling around in…
Halifax Match
Isn’t it a red flag if someone’s desperate enough to use a dating site, especially The Coast, to hook up with someone? No thanks. —Sketchy
People are just the worst
Title says it all I am such a moron Sometimes People are just the worst. —Amazing Guy (Just Not Amazing Enough, Apparently)
For you
You are the most selfless person I know. Thank you for making a difference in my life. Thank you for always being you. You can do anything you want and I will never judge you. You can do no wrong. I love you. —You Know Who
Halifax council: secrecy for cowards
I’m tired of HRM council deciding everything in council. It’s complete bullshit that they don’t even record how councillors voted. If our elected representatives can’t stand behind their votes then they don’t deserve their seat. Democracy without openness and transparency is a sham. I started a Facebook group to try and track how often they…
YCMA ladies
I feel like a horse chasing a carrot on those treadmills somedays…Those are some damn fine carrots too, and I know my fucking carrots. Thanks! —RCHRS
I’m moving out…also fuck you
For fuck sakes already! I am not spending a shitload of money on organic food so that you can fit into a stupid subculture, and I’m not standing in a grocery store while you yell at me for picking out the food we can AFFORD. If you had your way we’d be eating two meals…
The Numbered Head Have Fun
The Numbered Head made a video for their song “Alligator Gallop” featuring beer, plastic bagheads and chutzpah. It’s proof that you don’t need big budgets to have major funzies. Watch.
ANOTHER BUS BITCH MAYBE?
OK peoples, I was out earlier today at the Mumford terminal, they are changing signs. When asked why, was told they were trying to make it more efficient. But for whom? There are only two of the new signs—the buses from 2 on up to about 56 will now be pulling into the area by…
Embarrassed Canadian
Sorry, world, for that massively stupid closing ceremony. I couldn’t sit through that. And I’m really, really sorry if you decided for some reason to watch the entire thing yourself. —Eye Hurty
Taken for a ride on the “fair trade” bandwagon
Anyone else tired of the companies jumping on the “fair trade” money grab? Show us the books and tell us exactly how much, in dollars, you are paying poor people in other countries and what the amount you pay them represents in their standard of living. Open the books to us so we can tell…
Weird ways of life
You’re sweet. You’re sour. You’re amazing. You’re distant. Love the good times. Ponder the others. Smiling always. Never downturned. Loud music. Lots of personality. Gorgeous everything. Interesting rationality. It’s amazing. Living it. Love it. —Hidden World
My Name Is Garfield and I Hate Mondays
Yes friends, it’s Monday and we’re once again looking down the barrel of a hairy week. The only things getting me through this damp morning are 1) a giant cup of dark roast from Zona at the King’s Wardroom and 2) the memory of Dog Day covering Nirvana’s “Drain You” at Friday night’s show at…
Cole Harbour still stands following Canada hockey victory
Though Canada’s 3-2 victory over the USA in Olympic Hockey Sunday night created spontaneous outpouring of joy across this land of ours, there was perhaps no better place to be than at Cole Harbour’s premier sportsbar Big Leagues (4 Forest Hills Parkway, 462-2721), where CTV had cameras in position to record the unbridled enthusiasm following…
March Markdown at Argyle Fine Art
Appreciators of local art, you have until the end of the day on Friday, March 5 to make it down to Argyle Fine Art (1869 Upper Water Street, 425-9456) to browse the work in their March Markdown collection, stored in the gallery’s upstairs space. There you’ll find mostly inventory pieces, paintings, photographs and prints, some…
Home cookin’
Holy lifting FUCK can my wife cook. I should weigh 300 pounds… —Appreciative Male
Our medals
What the fuck? Is it just me, or did they look like a Tupperware lid you left in the microwave too long? Just noticed after the hockey…Ugggghh-leee. But still. Gold… —Next Time Ask a SOBER Person
Plant your seeds someplace else
To everyone on Dacebook with Farmville…fuck off. If I need to read anymore updates on your new baby lambs, your big pink elephants or your new batch of potatoes I’m going to scream, or throw my computer out the window. Please…find a REAL life. —Old MacDonald
GO CANADA
I write this while drunk. Thank you to everyone who turned out at Maxwell’s. You fucking rocked. The cheering, the chants, the national-fucking-anthem. I’m so fucking proud to have spent the night with you guys, even though you were strangers. It was a blur, that whole entire OT, but you guys rocked. Thanks to all…
Canada > USA
On behalf of the United States Olympic hockey teams, I would like to congratulate all you Canadians for royally spanking us in the women’s and men’s gold medal events. I’m so sick of our stupid, overblown ego it’s ridiculous. Thanks for putting us in our place. I’m completely serious. —Dino
THANK FUCK
THANK FUCK that the Olympics bullshit is finally over. Now we can get on with our little humdrum lives. Yes folks, life does truly suck, moreso when you live, breathe and spout Olympic shit all the time. Stranger walks up to me the other day, starts yammering about how this, that and everything Olympic. I…
Recap: Canada vs US live blog
Sticks and stoners: Gold Medal blogging
MG girl
Seeing you during the day makes my day go by that much easier. Those shirts they gave you are so not sexy, but you still have a way of making it look good. See you Monday. —Purple Flower Admirer
Thou shalt not speak during a film screening
This past Saturday I attended a screening of the 1982 film The Thing. I was really excited and just ecstatic to have the chance to see it in theatre—I was and am sure I won’t have the chance to see it again on the silver screen. Now my complaint isn’t about the cinema, or the…
Fonts
What’s with the crazy font change? Sucks, change it back it is hard to read… —Cross-eyed
Thank you drivers
Lost something that was very important to me on the bus, through some stroke of luck (and intervention) it was returned to me. Thanks for actually going through with the lost and found process, to the people who turned it in and the Metro Transit crew, it means a whole bunch…made my shitty week a…
Redhead with the KISS shirt on
Saturday night at the Lower Deck, my drunk, sexually charged friend was offensive. I am sorry. All I wanted to do was ask you to join me on the dance floor. Now all I want is for you to join me for some great conversation and food. Wish I would have told my buddy to…
Facade of environmental values
So I often hit up the drive-through of a certain ubiquitous coffee shop on my drive to work out of Halifax, and a few months ago, invested in one of their eco-friendly travel mugs. I was hoping to do my part as I buy coffee pretty much every day. However, I recently figured out that…
Coast comics
Is it just me, or does it seem as though they are drawn for poetic hippies with an extremely dry sense of humour? Actually, most aren’t even remotely humourous. Maybe The Coast might want to have some kind of comic competition each week? Tell me people, honestly, how many of you actually look forward to…
Golden Canadians
I just wanted to thank all of you wonderful Canadians for your support of our team this year. Even though the US has won more medals than almost everyone, they also have 10x the population, and well over 10x the money to spend on their athletes! So I guess that really says something about out…
Dear Elton: So JC was gay?
Wish you’d make a statement like that about a certain Muslim fellow and see where that’d get you… —Thinking Unchristian Thoughts
Ladies, hide your beer!
This will get you a starring spot on Oprah: And this (below) will get you reprimanded by Gilbert Felli, IOC’s director of the Olympic Games. “It is not what we want to see. I don’t think it’s a good promotion of sport values. If they celebrate in the changing room, that’s one thing, but not…
Habitual drunk driver finds his sentence harsh?
We should cut his fuckin legs off, THEN he could be free to go… fair trade? That asshole is lucky he didn’t kill anyone. Finally a judge gives him what he deserves! —Fed Up with Drunk Drivers
Stagnant, moreso than the harbour
I’m sorry, but this city is boring. Once you get tired of hanging out in bars there are very few things to keep Halifax interesting. —Bored Out of One’s Skull
IOC investigates women’s hockey gold celebration
So what? The women’s hockey team celebrated with cigars and champagne on the ice…so what? Who are the prudes making a stink about this…they just fucking won a GOLD MEDAL!! Who cares that they celebrated on the ice. Who cares that they had booze and cigars. Jesus H. Christ. Way to fucking ruin a great…
Too many Bitches lately
DUDE! Why is it the older I get, the harder it is to find guys that just want to hang out in a way that is strictly platonic? I am a tomboy, I feel more comfortable having a casual beer and talking about random shit that doesn’t include Jon and Kate Plus 8. I have…
Big storm, big hearts
To the wonderful lady driving the last bus on the #81 this evening: Thanks so much for treating both myself and all the other windblown passengers with kindness and consideration during tonight’s mini-typhoon. It was so great of you to offer to drive each and every one of us up to the point closest to…
What does suck about The Coast
Overall, I think everyone does a good job. The artists in the comic section totally suck, but I guess it must be near-impossible to find a good artist that will work for nothing. That section could go at anytime. The most hated section, in my opinion, is the Savage Love section. We don’t need to…
Dear Halifax
Ever since my first Ice Capades you’ve always had a special place in my heart. Sure we’ve had our ups and downs. I’ve said hurtful things about you smothering me, or dragging me down. You’re sometimes dirty and in my face, but overall, I’ve loved you. I loved the four-dollar pitchers and potini on Fridays.…
Miss my missed connections
What happened to Kijiji’s missed connections? All of their personals are gone and it redirects you to Lavalife? WTF! Screw you Lavalife and the perverts that inhabit you. I LOVED browsing the missed connections in the hope of finding that special reference that just might gasp be about me. Now I’m just left with The…
To my laundry angel
We looked for my boyfriend’s freshly washed pants in our tiny apartment for 10 minutes, where could they be? Then we realized we were both so frazzled that we hadn’t even retrieved our stuff from the communal laundry room. So rude! I went upstairs quickly to get it, only to find it in two neatly…
Winter Common Sense Plan
I don’t even own a car. I drive a motorcycle. But I borrowed one for the week while someone was away, and now I’m reminded of why I drive the two-wheeled thing. So as usual we get a rainstorm in the middle of winter. A big rainstorm. All the snow is actually SHRINKING and DISAPPEARING!…
Helpful Man at Second Cup
My debit card wasn’t working. It was early morning and I couldn’t pay for my coffee. You were my knight in shining track pants. You offered to pay for my coffee and sent me on my way. You make the world a better place! —Smiles and Coffee
RCMP vs. Halifax police?
Is anybody else nervous over the concept of not having the RCMP in HRM and just our own Kops? Yikes. —Cranky
F.U.
Believe you-me, I love banging you too. The heavy basslines are my kind of silence, anyways. Here’s to late nights, body heat and that sexy grin of yours. —Mickey
Dear Scotia Square phone retailler
Just got back from your kiosk in Scotia Square where you refused to sell me a new cell phone as you’re “doing an inventory.” So, you can’t sell me a phone because you’re too busy counting the phones? Curious. And when I ask how long the inventory will take, you just say you don’t know.…
Keep it up Metro Transit
Look, we haven’t always gotten along and I don’t always understand the way you work. I’m usually quick to criticize, but I gotta give credit where it’s due—thanks for keeping pretty damn close to your schedule this morning in this ridiculous wind. I really appreciated that I didn’t have to wait around at the bridge…
Loving Passive-Aggressive Notes!
OK, it’s my semi-guilty pleasure and a good time waster when I’m on hold. Imagine my surprise today when I saw that The Coast had gotten a mention?! —Sheelah http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2007/09/01/ps-bacon-is-life/
Scent-free means what, exactly?
So in my workplace some ladies wear perfume, some don’t, some men wear cologne, some don’t. I get that some people are bothered by scents and that you should not wear them. HOWEVER, why does nothing get done about all the disgusting stinky jerks that think showers are a “once a month, weather it’s needed…
What About Bob?
Pete Freckelton originally got into Bob Dylan out of desperation. “I was a Canadian child of the ‘80s,” says the Port Williams programmer. “What were my options? There was Madonna and Glass Tiger. I started getting into heavy metal—Ozzy Osbourne singing about addiction, Metallica singing about social injustice. I got into Dylan through metal because…
Host the White Stripes, March 16
If you’re still wounded that the White Stripes’ documentary Under the Great White Lights was cancelled at this year’s Atlantic Film Festival, there’s more disappointing news (especially if you read the misleading Exclaim article that says there’s an upcoming Halifax screening), unless you’re heading to the ECMAs. The film is showing across the country over…
Dear Fenwick Towers
Please take down the swinging stage that you have set up on the exterior of your building. Every time the wind gusts over 30km it causes the ropes to slap against the building, causing an awful racket. This happens regularly during storms and makes it difficult to sleep at night. Oh yeah, did I mention…
How old are you?
To the two guys walking behind me this morning in the Royal Bank: I could see you making fun of me in the reflection of the windows/mirrors…obviously you didn’t notice that and when I turned around to say “I can see you assholes” the look of shame on your face was priceless and how you…
Taking the bus sucks already
Too all the parents of screaming, loud, annoying kids on bus: You suck! I’m tired of all snot-nosed brats hitting, kicking and yelling at me on my daily commute. Learn some parenting skills, please put down your goddamned blackberry and control your child. When I was a kid I never once thought of acting up…
Another parking enforcement bitch
To the two completely useless tools who pretend to work in Parking Enforcement with their walkie-talkies and air of importance: You two come into the cafe I work at, sit there most of the day (about four of the nine hours that I worked), hog the crossword puzzles before anyone else can and then wonder…
Haters of the Maritimes
Leave already. Ya we know it doesn’t have this and it doesn’t have that, but we like it that way so please take your arrogant asses a few provinces over, or better yet, go take a dip out by Peggys Cove during the next hurricane. What the fuck are you still doing here? Leave. —2Stoned2MostlyCare
Childish transit staff
What kind of idiotic people work for Metro Transit? You’d think one would be able to go work and about their business and not have to tolerate foolish behaviour from so-called professionals. I was on the 52 last Tuesday afternoon when about 11 bus drivers got on heading to wherever. One particular driver from the…
Home from NY: deux fm Q&A
As we reported last week, deux fm is back from New York’s Greenshow, coinciding with NY Fashion Week. It’s our dream to appear in the Huffington Post, but it looks like Anna Gilkerson and her Hollywood-glam, eco-friendly collection have beat us to it. Gilkerson took some time out of her crazy schedule to talk about…
The sandwich shop on Spring Garden
I’m sorry if I’m inconveniencing you by ordering a sub. I assumed that’s what your job was since you work at a sandwich shop. I’m sure this job sucks, just like every food service job I’ve had too. I’m STILL in food service, so please, I understand your lack of enthusiasm. But I just can’t,…
Cole Habour vet love
Much love and thanks to the staff of the Companion Animal Hospital. We were devastated by the loss of our beloved dog last week, but your kindness, understanding and professionalism during our pup’s last days was above and beyond the call. We’ll always miss her, but we’ll always remember your compassion and the candle you…
Dear boobs
To my beloved titties, thanks for getting me out of trouble with males and lesbians, and for getting me free things. I love you guys. Keep on bouncin’. —36D
F.
I love banging you. To Spank Rock. To Donzelle. To MSTRKRFT. To Girl Talk. Hell, just throw on that shitty rap that momentarily ruined Pink Floyd for me and let’s go. —Michel
Awesome LC employee who made my day
It was freezing yesterday on my walk home from work and when I stopped at the LC to grab a bottle of red, it felt like my eyes had watered all my makeup down my face. When you asked if you could help me with something, I asked if I had black shit on my…
Lost Monroe
You solved my problems while I was still half asleep, and when I got home I realized I didn’t leave a gratuity. I’m sorry, you were so helpful and I appreciate all your patience with me. —Found!
Johnny Weir is a man, thank you very much.
Poor Johnny Weir. First he gets robbed of a medal, and now he has to hold a press conference to publicly confirm that yes, he is a man. And he was totally classy about the entire deal. The Quebec council of gays and lesbians filed a complaint with the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council over the…
Halifax is awesome
Dear residents of Halifax: Have you ever thought about how lucky you are? I mean seriously, you have a wonderful city and are the nicest, friendliest people in the whole world and you sometimes overlook it. I just moved here and I am still waiting for someone to come and slap me out of this…
HRM stunts growth
Letter writer Peter H. gave a long list of lost buildings in Halifax that will lessen our charm and connection to historic events (February 18). What he did not mention is that the push by vested interests to overdevelop their properties stunts the growth that could be taking place elsewhere in HRM. Why risk an…
More low-cost homes
Your article expressed the concerns of many, that people on low incomes will be forced out of the areas they presently live in. I would love to see legislation which required all new condo and apartment buildings to have one subsidized, low-rent home for every 50 units. This would give people a chance to live…
Looks like we’ve got a Situation on our Hands
“Just working on my fitness” I think we all knew this was coming—-Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino will soon be making an “appearance” in Halifax. A mere $25 will get you into Pacifico’s “White Party” on May 6—-and $85 dollars will get you into the “VIP” Capitol Room, where the man himself—-no doubt tanned,…
What of community?
As someone who spent most of my childhood in downtown Dartmouth, I was heartened to see The Coast take on the recent development proposals for the area in last week’s issue (“Welcome to the new Dartmouth” by Matt Semansky, February 18). The sense of a close-knit and safe community, augmented by quality schools, outstanding parks,…
Stupid
My stupid husband left his stupid razor face-up on the stupid counter and I cut my stupid finger on it and now it hurts. Gawddammit it! Why can’t you put sharp things away? Of course if I say something to you about it you will explain to me how it’s really my fault. I should…
Just doing my job
To all you gamblers out there I see on a regular basis, thank you for making me feel like shit the entire time I deal to you. I love coming to my job just to feel incompetent and cursed at the entire time I’m there. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than getting 21. Maybe lower…
Oh, girl.
You are brilliant and I think the world of you, I don’t really know why and I don’t really think I should. I wish I knew what you did to me, so I could do it to you. —Dumb Crush
I guess I’ve gotten your attention
I’ve noticed a lot of bashing lately of muscular guys and I’ve heard some comments myself. I perceive you as being very ‘small’ individuals. Yup. I could provide some personal info and disprove every stereotype you have about weightlifters, but I won’t bother. You would simply assuage yourselves by dismissing me as arrogant. —Happy Being…
Video: iZrEAL on Africville
Another example of how complex the issue is: spoken word artist iZrEAL sorts out his own feelings on yesterday’s apology and announcement that almost $5 million of gov’t money is going towards a new interpretive centre in Seaview Park. Is this really for the community, he asks, or for tourists? Related Stories
Home companions: Construction & Deconstruction
Even though Construction & Deconstruction may bring to mind philosophical theories, the band’s name is more pragmatic. “We bought an old farmhouse in a hamlet of houses on the Bay of Fundy and have been fixing it up ever since,” says David Trenaman. “We’ve been righting it by moving it onto a foundation, adding and…
Walkups, Lance Blomgren (Conundrum Press)
Spontaneity always gets the glory. Forget that. Simultaneity is where it’s at. As though all at once, Lance Blomgren peers into lives being lived beyond the doors in walk-up apartment buildings across Montreal. These are actual addresses in the city that the author occupies with stories, told in shifting voices and with varying points of…
Stripmalling, Jon Paul Fiorentino (ECW)
The cover of this book describes it as “a novel,” but it’s part-diary, part-story, part-comedy, part-comic book. Chronicling suspiciously autobiographical protagonist Jonny’s journey from young wage slave in a Winnipeg strip mall to divorced writing professor in a Montreal basement apartment, Stripmalling jumps from confessional to fiction to film script. The book is punctuated by…
The September Issue
Fashion addicts drooled with anticipation when word got out there was a documentary about the making of September 2007’s issue of Vogue, the biggest ever at a record 800-plus pages, weighing more than your average purse dog. While there’s a satisfying tease of gloss and glam, ultimately The September Issue is an entertaining but carefully…
Buses beg as cars cash in
Halifax council has been doing good work on the transit front. Councillors have committed to buying 45 new articulated buses—15 will hit the streets in coming months—and have agreed “in concept” to an aggressive five-year transit expansion plan that, if implemented, will see big improvements in bus service. Of course it will cost more money…
We Live in Public
The 1990s were a strange time, kids. People were dying the tips of their hair platinum, Y2K was looming and everybody was trying to figure out what to do with this thing called “the internet.” We Live in Public is about Josh Harris, who pioneered various websites and art projects, was rich and sort-of famous…
No woman left behind
Q I need you to settle a dispute between my husband and me. We have been married for six years. We’re not terribly adventurous, but we’re not totally vanilla, either. However, there is one issue that is driving me insane: My husband constantly pesters me to have anal sex. We have tried it in the…
The Stance
At its heart, The Stance is a live band. Putting groups like that on record doesn’t always work out: The energy and attitude gets lost in the process. That’s not a problem here. With bassist Jeff Leadbetter at the controls, the band ensures an open, energized sense of space to the album. That goes from…
Finding a simple cure for cancer
Inka Milewski raises an issue about method: “The scale at which an observation is made is really important.” When government scientists measured the North Atlantic cod population in the early ’90s, they missed small areas where cod had disappeared. They were looking at too large portions of the ocean—the small collapses were averaged out by…
Scout Niblett
Just when you think indie rock’s feral wild child can’t get any more menacing or eerie, Scout Niblett proves you can get away with playing the game on your own dark, harrowing terms. With only a distorted guitar and sporadically thudding drums as companions in her “self-made sweatbox,” this is not an album for the…
The Last Station arrives with stand-out performances
There is a breathtaking moment during The Last Station when Leo Tolstoy (80-year-old Christopher Plummer), turns back to face his followers, a Shakespearean-perfect character in rough-hewn peasant clothing and an impressive beard. He radiates in the golden light, like a pastoral painting. This is a film of dramatic, sometimes overplayed moments balanced by stand-out, Oscar-nominated…
Chris Page
If you were ever into the Glengarry, Ontario, pop-punk outfits The Stand GT or Camp Radio, then a new Chris Page solo record is something to get excited about. This, his first since 2004, is much like his entire output: all the melodic hooks and catchy riffs are there, except the tempo is toned down…
Horrors delivered in Shutter Island
Especially in its middle-section, involving a search through a forbidden part of a mental ward and a rendezvous at a lighthouse, Shutter Island delivers the pulp excitement of digging too deep, crossing the point of no return in a dark mystery. Adapting Dennis Lehane’s novel into a homage of 1940s evoke-more-than-you-show thrillers, Martin Scorsese delivers…
Thom Swift
Stepping out from Hot Toddy, Swift handpicked some of the most respected players in the region: Geoff Arsenault, Brian Bourne and JP Cormier, to name a few. You get some flourishes along with a more layered sound. As a singer, Swift likes to hold a note, even on the rockers. “Home” depicts the feeling of…
Hopeful Monster
Former Nova Scotian Jason Ball has played with The Heavy Blinkers, The Wilderness and The Hylozoists, but with a six-year break, his Hopeful Monster project has remained under the radar. Metatasking feels like a secret collection of fuzzy and, yes, hopeful, pop songs. Opener “Uncivilized” has a casual, poppy Beach Boys-like feel to it. Ball’s…
Kevin Smith’s Cop Out
A Kevin Smith directed action movie makes as little sense as Michael Bay helming Mallrats: The Squeakquel. Cop Out’s take on ’80s cop movies unites Bruce Willis with Tracy Morgan, as longtime NYPD partners Jimmy and Paul, who are trying to recover the stolen baseball card meant to pay off Jimmy’s daughter’s wedding. It takes…
The Crazies akin to restless channel surfing
Here’s the inevitable remake for George Romero’s The Crazies, a movie whose name recognition evidently spells dollar signs, even though most people haven’t heard of it. But the new version is less interested in recreating Romero’s ramshackle original than in copying a dozen other movies. As a virus is transforming an Iowa town’s human population,…
Catherine Clover is winging it
“They were able to see that pigeons could distinguish between impressionism and cubism!” artist Catherine Clover quips. She’s referring to a 1990s study done that tested animal intelligence by showing images of various master painters like Monet and Picasso to pigeons, gauging the birds’ ability to distinguish between them. This reappears in her show opening…
Crackie vibrates with determination
Mitsy (Meghan Greenly), a young woman in a small, ramshackle Newfoundland town, feels the sting of her mother’s (Jane Maggs) long-ago abandonment, the crush of her gran’s (Mary Walsh) zealous, protective guardianship and the thrill of shocking both of them by taking up with a stinking cad (Joel Hynes). This movie is special. It knows…
Delicious discovery at the Savour Food and Wine Festival
A cork pops, the trigger pull on a liquid starter’s pistol, and the foodie event called Decadence begins with Fresita, a Chilean sparkling wine, glistening ruby-red in a gently fizzing orchestra of champagne flutes. On the Friday before Valentine’s Day, Decadence is the first of three keynote events at this month’s Savour Food & Wine…
Slate Pacific makes waves
Funswick Slate Pacific makes waves Fredericton’s Slate Pacific found shelter in creating their latest musical harbour, the EP Safe Passage. It’s “the idea that everything ends up OK,” says guitarist/vocalist Logan Hawkes. “That there’s a perpetual connection, responsibility even, between the living and the dead—the dead and the dying. The title was meant to be…
Olympic bar run
Elephant & Castle General manager Jennifer Halpin has extended Elephant & Castle’s happy hour for the Olympic run—what normally ended at 7pm now goes to close. So park yourself in front of E&C’s four flatscreen TVs to watch the games and munch away. Canadian flags dot the bar for those of you concerned with patriotic…
Free Will Astrology
Happy Birthday! Pisces (February 19-March 20) If you were going to launch a career as a rap artist any time soon, I’d suggest that maybe you use the alias Big Try as your stage name. If you were planning to convert to an exotic religious path and get a new spiritual name, I’d recommend something…
Bahamas’s island life
Afie Jurvanen is a big believer in happy accidents. He abides by the philosophy that nothing too good comes from trying too hard, and he’s managed to ride this laidback wave from the basements of Barrie, Ontario, to some of the music world’s biggest stages as a touring guitarist for Feist. Jurvanen, who’s also played…
Celebrating our story (at last)
Shortly before 10pm on March 31, 2006, residents along the Old Birchtown Road near Shelburne reported seeing what looked like a white Pontiac Sunfire speeding away from the site of the one-storey wooden bungalow that housed the offices of Nova Scotia’s Black Loyalist Heritage Society. Within minutes of the car’s disappearance into the night, hot…
Snark and snack
Phew, we’re almost done. Only four more nights of adjusting our TV viewing to Vancouver time. Admittedly our Canada mittens from Zellers are starting to fray a little, and the sound of Brian Williams’ voice is haunting our waking lives like The Ring. But we’re committed to the couch and the snack bowl to the…
Nova Scotia considers banning pesticides
In 2003, the city of Halifax banned the use of “cosmetic pesticides,” those chemicals applied to lawns. The city’s law is easily ignored because the banned chemicals are still available for sale at most home and garden supply stores. But now the province is proposing its own law against pesticides, which should halt those sales…
Five Bridge Lakes moves toward wilderness protection
A gigantic chunk of the Chebucto Peninsula—8,266 hectares known as the Five Bridge Lakes—took a step toward official wilderness protection Friday, when the province kicked off the public consultation period required for the designation. The land in question is mostly contiguous crown land bounded roughly by highways 103 and 333. It does not include a…
Is Sable Island national park a natural disaster?
Should Sable Island become a tourist attraction? Earlier this month, federal environment minister Jim Prentice sparked a controversy when he announced the government is considering making the remote island off Nova Scotia’s coast a national park. The idea of herding tourists onto the island raises concerns about putting its fragile ecosystem at risk. Parker Donham…
To the douche who smashed into my car, then my neighbours’ car
EFF YOU. EFF YOU and your horrible mother for delivering trash like you into this world. From now on, there are RAZOR BLADES strategically placed throughout my car where a would be thief will rummage—mixed into my toonies and loonies in the change pockets, between CD cases and all around the edges of that fake…
Metro Transit driver
To the bus driver that drives the number nine during the weeknights: You look so serious but I know under that hardcore exterior there is a super nice guy. You never look at me when I get on the bus but the other day when I got on you finally did and there it was,…
Bully for me!
El Toro ™ by Hallmark, I love your goofy plastic nose ring, your curly brown hair atop a red furry body. I love the giggles I get when I push the concealed button in your teensy little brown foot and you say “My name is El Toro. El Toro of LOOOOOOOOOVE” in that horribly bad…
I hate my job!
My job is so fucking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with: First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, OK, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely…
