To all you gamblers out there I see on a regular basis, thank you for making me feel like shit the entire time I deal to you. I love coming to my job just to feel incompetent and cursed at the entire time I’m there. Nothing gives me greater pleasure than getting 21. Maybe lower your expectations before you walk in next…would the place even exist if you won every time? —Happy to Take Bitchy People’s Money
This article appears in Feb 25 – Mar 3, 2010.
Ha Ha,
the best way to describe a gambler is
“Loser”
They all lose in the end.
Gotta pay for the bright lights somehow.
I’d love to nail 21 if I was a dealer. Taking the chips, right after dealing. It’s evil, I know. Must be a bitch to stand on 17 though.
uh, not all gamblers are losers….
especially if you aren’t playing the house.
I’ve certainly made more going to the casino than I’ve lost there.
it’s not like vegas where I can retire on it… but 30-40 bucks up after a few hours at the poker table pays for my weekend. fortunately, math is among my strong suits.
Only suckers play the tables!
Slots!
Now that’s a winner’s game….
This is making me so enthusiastic about my application to the casino.
the only thing about working there is that you can’t play any game any time…
I’m always nice to the dealers…I have my favorites. There was an old gent named James that was my all time fave, but I haven’t seen him in forever!
There’s nothing worse than a crabby dealer…maybe its you OP??? If I get a crankass I just move to another table!
On another note, has anyone played the tables with the virtual dealers? Those chicks are hot, but who the hell are they lookin at? They really have to readjust the eye line.
lorilulu, the virtual male dealers alawys check out my crotch.
Hey now Matthew – some of us real customers also check out your crotch.
“” but 30-40 bucks up after a few hours at the poker table pays for my weekend. fortunately, math is among my strong suits.”‘
What has math got to do with casino poker?
Nothing that’s what.
“”I’ve certainly made more going to the casino than I’ve lost there…””
“Yeah, well, I only like a drink every now and then…with friends, or if I’m sitting around alone with nothing to do I’ll have a beer…”
Uh-huh.
Tell me, other than “because they do it in Vegas”…why, exactly, are cel-phones and tourist cameras so violently “banned” at the casino?
I know cell phones are banned because you could be sending messages to another player at another table and cameras probably because of the zoom??? not sure, but I know you can see cards coming out of the shuffler and dealers hands from other tables. I’m sure it all has to do with cheating….
BMF, percentages. odd’s… yes? math?
doi….
and since I’m not playing the house, they could give two shits if I win every hand or not. they take their rake and are done with it.
and you can believe what you want… point is, I don’t go to get one big hand and leave.
I sit for 3-5 hours and try to be consistent. 5-10 bucks an hour is what I’m expecting… not minimum wage, but it’ll do.
blah to gambling
From Casino Security in Conn:
“we do not allow cameras for many reasons. some patrons do not want their pictures taken, they could be used to plan a robbery, for blackmail. there are many reasons.
cheating is big business in casinos. it is so big, casinos share cheating information with competitors. if we catch you cheating, we tell just about every casino in the world who you are, what you did, and how you did it.
because of cameras being in just about everything, like cell phones, it is very hard to stop it. but, if we see it, we do do stop it.
we do not take the camera, unless we believe you were doing something illegal, in which case the police are called in.
it is not illegal, as you are on private property. but we can evict you, like a landlord. if you return, or refuse to leave, you will be arrested.
you have to check with the casino, some might allow it”
hmmmm
queue the chinavasion reference again….
If you think that probability plays any role, you are:
1) Not playing Texas hold’em where it does NOT, and the ONLY “skill” is in the betting.
2) Are playing single-deck draw
Wikipedia aside, I have doubts that you are truly using poker-hand probabilities in your game…they really only come to play in (1 and 2 above) the very looooong term.
I expect, if you get jacks or better, you’re in…am I wrong?
There ARE of course, professional players…but the winning is in the betting, not the cards., and they’re not playing the house…
“”I’m sure it all has to do with cheating….””
That’s the official line, and yet no-one can ever explain how
1) cheating went on long before cells and digi-cams
2) How a film camera could help you “cheat” anyway?
The truth is, that people are justifiably ashamed of being addicted to this foolish and tupid pastime, and thusly do not want their pictures taken when their faces are twisted in a grotesque mask of greed when they win….and equally, when they adopt the rigid false-smile of loss and ruin….
If it was JUST a case of security, why not allow pics taken in a “winner’s circle” like at the track? Instead, cameras are banned.
Personally I am fascinated by the morbid: crashes on youtube, accidents on the highway, downtown slums, open drug use on the streets…and “gamblers” hunched over their VLT’s (or tables) – a big fake smile on their face, body language in red alert – as they blow the family’s Disney money on trying to draw to an inside straight….hahaha
I can’t think of anything more entertaining than an album of these losers, holding their paycheques up forlornly (5 free chips if you pose!)…hahaha
foolish and stupid pastime…
some people enjoy it. we can’t all be ‘superior’ like BMF…
some people like playing with a hoola hoop and a stick.
some hike a trail.
some eat mud.
to each his own but to call one or another stupid when it’s enjoyed by many others is just retarded.
Many people also like to sit and drool and smear themselves with shit, zZz, but don’t expect to win the Nobel Prize for it, OK?
You’ve made the classic “problem gambler 101″ statement:”I don’t go to win big, but, yeah, I’m ‘up over the long run”.
You may very well win more than you lose…as you say, you’re winning from other players, not the house (?)…just be aware that most folks will NOT believe you, because of the insipid nature of gambling addiction.
There he goes again, back on his pulpit, Frosty’s saving us sheeple from ourselves.
this so reminds me when i had fred flintstone fever: bet bet bet … more than one night a drunk and gambling feverish i would cuss out the dealer for “enjoying” beating me. I can’t speak for all but i would wager:) that most of these abusive playas have a problem. Holy f if i had the money i blew on black jack and the ponies(including owning them) i would be set for life; dang dumbass i WAS!
i like euchre does anyone in this province know how to play?
probably not i know last time i lived in vancouver nobody knew how either; you must be from on. yes?
My uncle’s an accountant who counts cards at casinos in the states… but we don’t talk about him
well…i’m not really from anywhere i feel most at home at sea^^but i was born in ottawa and did most of my euchre playing in toronto at drunken euchre parties, if you lose you move
What we needs is to get some Capers and Newfies to get’ toge’ter and play some bish b’yes, wha?
??? please splain to moi
haha… In other words…. I think it would be cool if anyone wanted to get together to play the card game Tarabish. If I had a dollar for every class I missed at UCCB for being caught up in a game of that…. well.. I could likely buy a meal at the new spot in Scotia Square. Seriously though…. I can teach anyone who wants to learn. Nothing like some ‘bish and a two-four to make a fun evening “funner”.
wai, so anyone who claims to win is lying?
so then we’re not really supposed to talk about it then… because either we’re losers or liars.
nice.
and I’m not a problem gambler… I haven’t been to the casino in a few years now… I didn’t even know they had virtual dealers.
wife doesn’t like me spending late night hours grinding the tables.
not that you’d believe me cause we’re all liars or losers.
you’re too fucking much man. you have WAY too much time to think about your theories on the road there bub. it’s getting to ya,….. seriously.
I think it’s that, and all the clap he’s caught from the “friends of the road”…
fuck em’ all, let them whine because the house always wins. it’s their fault they are there anyway.
tarabish eh? i’ll ask my newfie friends how to play
PG If you want to play Euchre, find any sailor, it used to be the game back in the day.
paingirl: ask your Newfie friends abbout 120’s, a classic Newfoundland card game that’s a lot of fun too.
that sounds very familiar, tho i have played many card/board games…rumoli anyone.
Anyone else play Bismark?
The casino needs cribbage. Just one man’s opinion of course.
that’s not a half bad idea i rule at crib.:)
You know they sometimes have crib tournaments at Locas Bar/Billiards hall….. and there are crib boards and cards at your disposal at the bar. In fact, I am STILL waiting on zZz to join me in a couple of friendly games there….. of course, he has consistently declined my challenge (I guess word has gotten out) For fucks sake (hahaha -> XMas lights bitch) …. just come on and bring it z…. (u still owe me beer…)
yeah, cause you always give me SOOO much notice…
text, “hey just headed out now to locus… wanna play crib?”
well………… you could ask me you know!
Wow you two bicker like my grandparents, who happen to be Newfies…
hoser
and you’re an ol’ bag
Penny slots all the way! Haha!
I went to the casino with some friends when the casino first opened and won $50 on some wheel spinning thing…I was too happy! Months later, I went again with a friend and won $500. I felt so rich, I stuck a 20 in a slot machine and hit the big red button–only to realize in dismay that it was a $10 bet. But it worked out–I won a cool $8000 with that spin, and when they made me spin it again after they cashed it out, I won another $180. Never went back again.
The funny thing was, they wanted to give me free drinks for winning, but the guy who poured every cent he had into the machine before I walked up to it (and who was all but crying when I hit it first spin) was offered nothing–in fact, as he lamented his bad luck and frustration to us, they all but escorted him to the door.
LIAR!
you can’t possibly win!
it’s a casino…..
LIES! all LIES!!!!
I suspect I won because the casino’s odds were much more generous when it first opened…you know, the bait to get people there…which is why I didn’t go back.
In Vegas it doesn’t matter what you’re playing (slots, or table) whether you’re winning or losing; they give you free booze. I guess there theory is the more you drink the more you’ll gamble…
Of course, I only played penny slots, bet min, and ordered fancy drinks (Tequila Sunrises were a fast fave). I also cashed out often, and stalked the waitresses to their area…
Spend a buck on the machiene, get a $5 drink! How can you go wrong with that???
I don’t think that they ‘adjusted the odds’, as suckers are born every minute so there’s always a fresh crop of losers. I’ll never forget watching a friend who had a ‘system’, this was about when it first opened. He won a couple hundred bucks with his ‘system’ so he figured it was foolproof. We all went down to watch it in action and he blew through all 1200 bucks in his pocket in about 10-20 minutes. Great ‘system’.
bah…those drinks are so watered down…I once drank 60 rum and cokes and was still wearing pants half-way through the night…
;-(
You should’ve made em doubles :p