From the heart
Hey, best buddy, grow a pair, drop the fuckin medicine program bullshit and just go be a writer like you want to. The university is just the biggest fish in a small pond anyway, you could have gone to Johnny Hopkins if you wanted to, and I don’t even know what the fuck that is.…
I love your beard
I was getting into a taxi at the grocery store on Wyse Road the last time I saw you, a few weeks ago. You were dressed pretty laid-back with a salt and pepper beard and wearing sweats but you still looked delicious to me. I can’t stop thinking of you. I think I just want…
Free Pussy Riot
In Russia, three young women were sentenced to prison for two years for hooliganism, and in Russia, hooliganism means staging a short public performance in protest of Vladmir Putin. The women were a part of Pussy Riot, a feminist punk band who use public performances as a subversive tool. The news of the sentencing rang…
Cynic
My friend gets a free kitty and all kitty’s stuff from an ad on Kijiji. Cat dies three weeks later. Am I too cynical because I believe the original owner just pawned this poor sick cat on my friend? If so, a hairy pox on your titty sacks, you cruel slag. —A Question Nobody Asked
Oh, my pretty little rose
A year and a half of my life has been spent chasing you like a puppy. You’ve got me on a tight leash without the slightest bit of slack. I’ve spent some of the hardest moments of my life with you, you drive me crazy… not always in a bad way, sometimes in a good…
Lucky penny
I was on my way to write my beginners, stopped to get bus tickets and on the way out of the store you stopped to pick up a penny. I commented how you were now destined for a lucky day—you promptly handed it to me and said “Now you can have a lucky day.” Thank…
Reviewing reviewers
OK, so what’s up with local so-called theatre reviewers? I’ve yet to see a review that isn’t blowing smoke up the codpiece of every performer that happens to walk across a stage. FYI, the point isn’t to flatter your actor friends, it is to let the public know which where to put their hard earned…
Build accountability into civic life
So far, I’ve listed just one issue on our election Candidates and Issues page: A sunshine ordinance, which from my perspective should be the primary concern for citizens this election season. I’m preparing to dive into a number of other specific city issues that need to be discussed by candidates—concerning “green-belting,” transit and more—but as…
To the cashier
I’m a student, and cash is a bit tight at the moment until next payday, but I still have to eat, you know? So I got all my pennies and I rolled them up, in clear plastic, before going to the store. The bill came up to $4.50 (gotta love those ramen noodles), and I…
Damn this heart of mine…
You have been lied to, cheated on and abused time and time again. Yet, you continue to be attracted to bad men, like a moth to a flame. Always believing you can fix someone, and giving so much undeserved credit. Will you ever learn to give the good guy a chance? Will you ever realize…
Here’s the Background
After two years of steady podcastin’, Background Noise is clawing its way out of a dank basement and, um, into a dank basement of the Oasis Pub (just kidding! Love your wings, boo!) for their first ever live podcast. Saturday, August 25 at 9pm will bring Derrek Ord, Luke James and Devin Deuville to you,…
When you saw abuse you took action
To the woman who called the police when she witnessed a man physically abusing his kids on Monday Aug 20 on a north end sidewalk—THANK YOU for caring and getting involved. We’ve long suspected this creep’s violence towards the children but it was our word against his and there was nothing we could do. Now…
Theatre hoes
Stop judging me and the shows I’m a part of until you see them! You don’t know if they’re good or bad—so stop bitching about them and badmouthing me on social media. If you want to criticize AFTER you’ve seen a show, be my guest. —Theatre Lover
Peace bond versus restraining order process
Here in NS if you’re threatened by someone it is quite a process (and a costly one) to apply to get a peace bond, and no assurances on getting one either. While I have no statistics at hand it would stand to reason that more often than not it is a women who need protection…
I had an abortion
I would have 100 more to save my freedom and prevent an unwanted child. I wouldn’t even think twice. Ladies, don’t listen to the people who say you will regret it forever. You really, really, really won’t. Don’t feel guilty for wanting more out of life. —The Best Decision I Ever Made
Such a “tweet” little boy you are
Listen BUD, you diss me on your twitter like you’re some kind of hot shot but what kind of fool hides behind a social networking site? I’d love to see you say half of the shit you tweet to my face. Yeah, you’re some manly. I’m a five foot woman who’s ready and willing to…
Jukebox rental in HRM
We are having a low-key cottage wedding where family and friends will be performing (kitchen partyish) so we don’t want to do the DJ/Band thing. I’m not big on the idea of using random iPods and love the old-time feel of the jukebox. Can’t seem to find any for rental—help?! Thank you. —MissKitty
Atlantic Film Festival’s full screen
Film fans take note: the 32nd Atlantic Film Festival line up has been announced, giving you under a month to create your elaborate spreadsheets for optimum viewing capability (shuffling briskly from Mike Birbiglia’s Sleepwalk With Me to Seth Smith’s Lowlife, for instance). Running September 13-20, the fest kicks off with an opening gala screening of…
Kind words
To the pretty female clerk who spoke to me so nicely on Saturday: thanks. Your words made my day. Yes, I do walk around the city quite a bit. I do live in the Hydrostone. It was nice to not be bugged or hassled, something that has happened to me far too much on that…
Crosswalk blues
So, I’m walking my bicycle through a marked crosswalk with the lights blinking. I get out to the second lane and this American lawyer in a rental car speeds through without even touching the brake. He smashes my bicycle out of my hands nearly killing me, then tries to drive away. I flag down a…
How I miss thee
I lived in the Halifax area for my whole life until moving away for work just under two years ago. Reading The Coast online really keeps me connected and I can’t wait to move back as soon as possible. Try not to complain too much about this wonderful city. There is no place like home.…
Were you a hologram?
You are the coolest chick I’ve met in a long time. I can’t believe I had such a great time sitting on your couch eating Milk Duds/popcorn, having a few drinks, and watching Jem cartoons. I just wish those other people weren’t there so I could’ve gotten to know you better. I even liked your…
Stranger anger
Friday evening around 9pm I was walking toward the store in Tacoma Centre when you chucked a penny through a car window and yelled, “Here! This is what you’re worth!” I would have showed you what you’re worth, cowardly little girl, but sadly I had already taken my daily SHIT before I left the house.…
South end driver
I’m driving my bicycle on the street because it’s legal. It’s illegal to bike on the sidewalk, so throwing obscenities at me out your window was completely unnecessary. If your ego is too huge to share the road then maybe you shouldn’t be driving a vehicle, maybe you should be staying at home relearning social…
I’d rather a lie
What do you say when you ask your best buddy out for a beer and he responds with “I can’t, I’m on a cleanse diet”? Seriously! WTF. —Jimbo
22nd annual Atlantic Fringe Festival 2012 line up
Fringe is back! August 30th marks the beginning of the 22nd annual Atlantic Fringe Festival. The festival will begin with the Fringe Sampler Smorgasbord Showcase (an hour long show that samples every show in the festival) and an Opening Night Party. The festival, which runs until September 9th, includes 50 performances, featuring performers from across…
My love for the blues
When I am alone in my room recuperating from being lashed out at by my partner, I listen to the blues. The lyrics, the rhythm and the clarity of the musical instruments. I then go down to a bar downtown which is noted for the blues and I listen to the blues across the street.…
Lies, lies and more lies!
I don’t know why I hang on the way I do…she lies constantly. She stands in front of me, all perky and oh so believable with her curly hair and funky clothes and “I’m just a corn fed valley girl” innocent smile, and she LIES. Every day. I rely on her; she knows it. My…
Oh, please
We dated over five years ago. You were in your early 20s and I was a teenager who still lived with my parents. I made a lot of mistakes back then and I am truly very sorry for any hurt I caused you. Having said that, I think it’s a bit ridiculous that you still…
Carpet cleaner trouble
I’m not used to dealing with service people so when I called you to come clean the carpet I didn’t really know what to expect. Your company doesn’t seem well known but you have a very competitive price so I thought I would try it out. After you moseyed in half an hour late without…
The poor kids
The other day I saw three stoned, dazed and confused 17 to 20-year-old girls walking like cracked-out zombies across Lacewood Drive in Fairview, one puffing a roach. Three beautiful little girls 3-5 years old were following behind. Made me sad, really. Not one of them was watching the kids. The kids followed behind not really…
Beautiful bus behaviour
To the bus rriver of the number one on Sunday morning: You saw me running and stopped at the next stop and patiently waited for me to run almost an entire block to get to you. I was nowhere near the bus stop and yet you waited. You made my entire day and I told…
Don’t Bingo on me
Sometimes your friends, are not too friend-like. You we’re definitely a pick-me-up after a pretty unsuccessful night at Glow in the Dark Bingo. While my group was busy discussing plans without me, you came over and made me enjoy a night that was all but lost. The world deserves more people like you. —Daring Dauber
CAUTION: Pedestrian Ahead
To the woman in the blue dress by the Windsor St/Allan St construction on Friday afternoon: You wanted to jaywalk to avoid the closed sidewalk and I didn’t stop for you. I figured since there was only one car behind me and we were pulling up to a STOP SIGN you might not mind waiting…
Too cute to miss
I do not usually write these things…but to the tall, dark and handsome kite boarder at Lawrencetown Beach (on Tuesday, August 7th)…I walked directly in your path and after realizing it said “excuse me.” You said that I was “too cute to miss” and my day was made! Thank you. —Lucky Lady
Puffer
I wish you’d come back. I think about you all the time it’s distracting… I’m sorry we fought, I’m glad we’re talking again but I wanted so much more with you. I wasn’t ready, wasn’t sure of you and people meddled I know it doesn’t excuse me though. You were the first to know a…
An open letter to the insect kingdom
Dear bugs, Please stop flying into my eyes. It’s annoying, and given the frequency of the occurrence I can’t help but presume (seeing that the rest of my head has no lack of room in which to collide with, and yet miraculously remains consistently impact free), that the eyeball assault is a deliberate act on…
Menopause, hurry the fuck up!
Last week a broken ankle, the week before a pulled siatic nerve in my back. This week, PMS cramps enough to knock me out. COULD THE FUCKING COCKSUCKING PAIN JUST END ALREADY??? FUCK!!!! —I Pity The Motherfucker Who Fucks With Me Today
Soft & stanky
I just love your new aluminum-free antiperspirant! When it mixes with my underarm sweat, it smells like pure cat piss. What a treat! —$2.99 Down The Drain
Bronze medal for me?
We shared a boulder-sized waterfront space at a beautiful lake on Wednesday, the water so cool and refreshing on our hot skin. I swam my share, dried off and redressed to leave your group to the rock in peace. As I dressed to depart the lake I left my bronze medallion necklace behind not realizing…
Lost rose
Rose, it’s been a year and a half since last I saw you. I still miss your smile, charm and spirit. The girl behind the counter making my coffee—the coffee tastes empty there now and I stopped tasting it long ago (right about the time I learned what happened). Too bad things went sour where…
Immature
What would cause a grown man to purposefully swerve his vehicle with no one around him on the road to splash someone with a massive puddle? Honestly, do you have an imbalance in your skull, or is it just empty? Threw my travel mug at your car but couldn’t see through the muddy water. —Soaked
To a tiny dancer
You are the sweetest girl I know, and it kills me to know the heartbreak you must be feeling. I cannot disclose who I am because I am friends with your ex, but I want you to know that he is lost without you. He does not belong where he is right now. He belongs…
I still miss you…
I haven’t seen you since January. I’ve called you on the phone a few times just to check up on you even though I knew you did not want to talk to me. You used to tell me ‘”When we spark, the world burns.” If I messed up, I wish you would tell me so…
Why?
You convinced me to trust you. After I did then started to take things too seriously, you dumped me then cut me off totally. For months you flirted with me and actually seemed disappointed when I told you I could easily get someone for sex. Hell, everyone’s been hurt by a member of the opposite…
Bridge Brewery to open soon
Remember how Bridge Brewing Company was supposed to open this summer? Its opening has been pushed back to this October, because it’s waiting on an inspector from Ontario to certify the brewing equipment. Bridge is setting up in the former Bach’s Cafe space at 2622 Agricola Street, just across from Gus’ Pub. Once Bridge gets…
This sidewalk’s made for walkin’
This bitch is directed at two things: 1) nervous bikers that take to the sidewalk 2) this city’s lack of bikelanes, forcing nervous bikers to take to the sidewalk. So there I am, minding my own business, blissfully dancing my way to work care of J.Plaskett’s snappy tunes when out of the blue—FLASH—a bike sweeps…
Adventureland
You are one of the coolest people I know. We have a good thing that is about to get more complicated. I’m not afraid, but excited. I accept you as you are and our friendship for exactly what it is. Steady as she goes. —The Young One
Just wanted you to know…
I look forward to seeing you more than the dog. —Shy Store Girl
The long road to Osheaga
Pre-Day 14-hour drive from Halifax. Many stops in New Brunswick. Unsure if this is due to the size of the province, or the size of our convoy’s bladders. Day 1 Osheaga is a wonderland for music lovers; stages share space with shady areas full of couches for lounging. We catch The Jezebels and Dum Dum…
Little Burgundy Shoes tours Halifax
Little Burgundy Shoes is open in the Halifax Shopping Centre and really wants to get to know the city. The store has set up a blog: http://lbnewintown.com/halifax, where customers can upload tours of the city, with their own unique views of Halifax. Current tours include Thrift & Vintage Gathering and Boutique Crawl, which feature shopping…
Thank you for the new standards
Good lord, for as much grief as you have caused me (granted that was without your knowing). I am sooo happy you came into my life (no pun intended). Before you, I was lonely and scared that no one wanted me and now I am more confident than ever and you have really shown me…
We need a sunshine ordinance
I’m on vacation next week, which means I’ll be driving to Ontario and back, thinking about the election and beefing up the “Issues” part of our candidates and issues page from hotel rooms. I’d much appreciate readers’ thoughts: what issues do you think should be put on the front burner for this election? For me,…
District 11 update
District 11 candidate Jim Hoskins writes to say I’ve linked to the incorrect Facebook page, so I’ve updated it. It’s interesting, reading through the right page– Hoskins explains that “I filed a citizen complaint with the Police regarding the Concert scandall when no Councillor would step forward.” That’s something I was unaware of. See all…
Brats
I am SO goddamn sick of your bratty, loud, fidgeting, crying, spoiled kids. Every day I encounter at least one. In the mall, on the bus, on a peaceful walk downtown, and my new personal FAVE: at my own goddamn office. Whatever happened to teaching your children to be quiet and respectful? They can still…
Tall, tall drink of water
You came into my sugar shack for some early morning sweets, and boy, let me tell you, you set the bar pretty gosh darn high for everyone else that day. I wouldn’t mind seeing that smile again. —Candy Girl
How am I getting home now?
I have been taking the a certain bus in Nova Scotia since I was just turning 12 years old, I am now 22, so for over 10 years. I’ve taken it fairly regularly, depending on my age, obviously much more once I was older. As someone whom has relied on this service to be able…
My enemy, my belly-button
Oh, belly-button, why do you stink so? When I stick my finger into you it smells like the mouldy ass of a dead person. I shower every day, sometimes twice, but it is a deep hole. One time, my lover passed it on his way downtown and then coughed. It was so embarrassing! I hate…
Good Morning Halifax
Mark Little’s contribution to the Halifax comedy scene spread out considerably with Picnicface’s TV (their woefully short-lived Comedy Network show), movie (Roller Town) and literary (Picnicface’s Canada) takeover. Since that boom, some of the members have moved on to bigger, more concrete pastures in Toronto, but home is where the heart is. Back in town…
The Queen of Versailles
Sometimes the universe just hands you a gift: When Lauren Greenfield begins filming the Siegels, David and Jacqueline (he’s a time share baron, she is his 30 years younger wife and mother of seven of his children), it’s because they’re constructing their own version of Versailles in Florida—90,000 square feet, the largest house in America.…
Celeste and Jesse Forever
Though of pure Hollywood lineage and opportunity, Rashida Jones has instead taken a cue from her Parks and Recreation castmate Amy Poehler and made her own work, co-writing and starring in this sharp romantic comedy. After a beautiful opening credits sequence of their relationship, we meet Celeste (Jones) and Jesse (Andy Samberg, restrained) a few…
Same time, awesome time
What a gem! The Festival Antigonish production of Same Time, Next Year is satisfying on so many levels. Bernard Slade’s 1975 comedy about two lovers who meet but once a year covers a tumultuous two-decade period in US history which is mirrored by the changing relationship of Doris (Joanne Miler) and George (John Fitzgerald Jay).…
The Expendables 2
Sylvester Stallone and his merry macho men are back to shoot shit…and this time, it’s personal. When one of their own is killed, Barney Ross (Stallone) and his bad-ass crew of mercenaries are propelled from their usual multi-national hooliganism into a more focused form of obliteration. Thankfully, *Expendables 2* trims away much of the love…
Last chance art
This is that time between the wind-down of summer and the gear-up for fall when most galleries don’t have openings as they switch between exhibition seasons. So we want to shine a light on some of the summer shows you need to catch before they close this week. The huge Aboriginal show Snapshot closes at…
ParaNorman
Perhaps the first grindhouse inspired, stop-motion, children’s horror movie about friendship, ParaNorman proves wickedly fun no matter what your age. Eleven-year-old Norman is unfortunately ostracized at home and school over his unique ability to see and speak with the dead. But when the ghost of his deranged uncle (John Goodman) tasks him with stopping a…
Kim Harris says otherwise
“I released it digitally last year and I used it mainly like a demo,” says Kim Harris of her six-song folk debut She’d Say Otherwise. “I was living in Amherst and I never got the chance to have a release show.” Now that she’s back in the city, she’s rectifying that situation with an all-star…
Sparkle
Motown melodies aren’t enough to save Salim Akil’s (Jumping the Broom) Sparkle and its meandering plot. In 1960s Detroit, three sisters form a clandestine musical trio, keeping it secret from their religious, single mother, Emma (the late Whitney Houston), who has her own tragic past in show business. Sparkle (American Idol’s Jordin Sparks) composes the…
Molly Rankin’s quiet ascension
Molly Rankin is a curious case. Though bred in Cape Breton— she’s the daughter of the late John Morris, a Rankin Rankin—and educated at Dalhousie, Rankin is considered by the fine people of Charlottetown to be theirs. It was there, in 2010, that she made a record called She with her boyfriend, ex-Two Hours Traffic guitarist…
The Odd Life of Timothy Green
If ever there was a pair of helicopter parents, it was Cindy and Jim Green (Jennifer Garner and Joel Edgerton) of Stanley, the pencil capital of the states. Down in the dumps because they can’t have a kid, Cindy and Jim crack open a bottle of wine and jot down all the qualities their kid…
Jonesing for art
Hind Legs singer/guitarist Halloway Jones’ life is apparently in “shambles.” Walking into her two-bedroom apartment/art studio (which she comically refers to as a “troll den”) in Halifax’s south-end, she comments on the disarray of her kitchen and offers to give me a glass of water in a disposable paper coffee cup, rather than hunting to…
Eat and walk
Emily Forrest is handing out samples of seafood chowder. The broth is silky, yet thick with haddock, scallops and potato. A diner mentions to her that when they were in New England, they found the broth thin in comparison to this. “That’s because that’s the way we do it here,” Forrest says. Forrest is the…
Finger-licking good
Until North America’s massive economic gut popped a button four years ago, fine diners ate in a different league than Haligonians. Living in a reservations-only land of futuristic foods and fantastic ingredients, they spent small fortunes on tasting menus and, compared to the unskilled people who made fast food and the uncouth people who ate…
Open for Business
Risky Business’ humble beginnings didn’t foreshadow its rabid popularity for much of the mid 2000s in Halifax (or beyond). The most successful hardcore band in Halifax’s history is reuniting for one more show on Saturday, August 18 at a venue close to its heart, the Pavilion. Guitarist Ian Hart reflects on the band’s origins: “It…
Picnic bunch
Like most words in the English language, the meaning of the word “picnic” is mutable, and the expression can also indicate “something which has multiple contributors or sources—a collection.” The word is an apt description for CKDU’s annual mid-summer jamboree. Held this year on the South Common Triangle, the CKDU Community Picnic offers a chance…
Transit fail
In back-to-back weekly meetings, Halifax council has managed to contradict itself on transit policy, frustrate itself by pulling the rug out from any hope of coherent management of Metro Transit and disgrace itself with bald election pandering. Two weeks ago, council voted to cut late-night ferry service, starting next week. That vote generated a lot…
A hole new world
Q I’ve been confused about my sexuality for two years. I am a 22-year-old female. I liked guys when I was in school, but then, in perhaps the most stereotypical of fashions, I developed a HUGE crush on Tegan and Sara when I was nearly 20. I like the idea of being with women, but…
Free Will Astrology
Happy Birthday! LEO ((July 23-August 22) One of history’s most notorious trials took place in Athens, Greece in 399 BCE. A majority of 501 jurors convicted the philosopher Socrates of impiety and of being a bad influence on young people. What were the impious things he did? “Failing to acknowledge the gods that the city…
