OK, so what’s up with local so-called theatre reviewers? I’ve yet to see a review that isn’t blowing smoke up the codpiece of every performer that happens to walk across a stage. FYI, the point isn’t to flatter your actor friends, it is to let the public know which where to put their hard earned money and time. I’ve seen some of the shows that have gotten rave reviews and I have to wonder if we’ve seen the same production. I’m not saying you have to be mean—there is such a thing as constructive criticism. But I will never again go to anything on your recommendations. You already owe me hours of my life back for the self-indulgent crap I’ve had to sit through. —Enough McDuff

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17 Comments

  1. The reviewers are probably worried that being totally honest will dissuade people from attending local theatre and if the theatre goes, so does their cushy job.
    How does one get a reviewer’s job? What a dream job? Reviewing movies, restaurant critic, hotel critic, you gotta love it!

  2. reviewers are like the censorship board, in their 80’s. i too have yet to see a movie or t.v. series that was good, stay around for awhile. you get all this fucking redone shit, and these non real reality shit now. it’s enough to make you want to go screaming, naked down the streets.
    i’m glad that i watch what I want to, when I want to on the net. fuck t.v., it is all either repeats of the same crap on 10 channels, or just purile pap, that should never be on in the first place.
    any show or series i want, is but a keyboard tap away. and i don’t pay for all these unwanted crappy channels. i don’t know why everyone just doesn’t get rid of their sets and use their computers now. i got my system hooked into my 42 inch t.v., and just beautiful to watch. fuck cable.

  3. trood.. a good start would be reviewing on your own time ‘n dime.
    there’s a whole section for reviews right here…
    try populating it a bit.
    If that’s a facet you’re willing to try out, there’s no way it can hurt.

  4. Thanks Zed, you’re quite right.I have done the odd movie review but nothing much. Maybe I’ll start my own section reviewing the reviews keeping with the theme of the bitch.

  5. I personally don’t put much stock into any type of review; movie, tv, restaurant, whatever. I prefer to form my own opinions about something.
    Besides, what I may find appealing, may not be someone else’s cup o’ tea and vice versa. Everybody’s different. We each have our own likes, dislikes, tolerances, beliefs and opinions so, to make objective choices based on the subjective opinions of someone else, (who is most likely a complete stranger, I might add), is just plain foolish. You’ve got no one to blame but yourself, OB, for the hours of your life that you wasted.

  6. Ah yeah, but see, that’s not a review per se. That’s a series of facts/observances, (usually in contravention to health and safety codes) based on an official inspection, governed by provincial and federal laws.
    But, I’m with you. If a restaurant turns up on this site, I pay attention.

  7. That should probably have read: “Observations”.

    Meh! Whatever. You knew what I meant.

  8. it’s a ‘review’ of ordinance. 🙂
    I know what you mean indeed.

    I wonder, it being Thursday, if my bitch is going to make it up today.
    Thursday’s are pretty busy for the bird at Coast headquarters.

  9. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

    “I’m not saying you have to be mean – there is such a thing as constructive criticism.” Enough McDuff

    McDuff raises an interesting point but fails to follow through and explain just what he has in mind by “constructive criticism.” What does one do when one criticizes constructively?

    There are those, of course, who claim that the concept itself is empty, that there can be no such thing as constructive criticism since, as the saying goes, “everyone’s different.” But this is simply to confound matters of subjective taste with criticism based on criteria which are as objective as humanly possible. But what are those criteria? Several come to mind.

    There is, obviously, the question of plot, of the story-line, which of course varies with the age and maturity – not necessarily the same thing – of the audience. Assuming basic intelligence, the story-line must be, at a minimum, credible. There must be, at least in principle, a real-world possibility of the plot actually occurring. In other words, as with coherent thought in general, there must be STRUCTURE. Structure is to the film as the skeleton is to the body. Without the skeleton, the body is just a lump of hairy flesh (and that’s just the females). Without structure, the film is just a dog’s breakfast, a loose bowel movement.

    In addition to and supported by the structure, there are, of course, the regular criteria related to film. One thinks of the quality of the acting, the credibility of setting, the sensitivity of the photography, and so on. But, in my view, the paramount criterion of constructive criticism still is missing. What is this apex of constructive criticism? It is the film’s philosophical dimension. It is the criterion criterion of reflective significance.

    What I am talking about is DEPTH. This is the criterion which distinguishes the truely artistic film from dross. The characters in particular and the film in general must be motivated by a quest for meaning, a search for coherence. This need not be the explicit theme of the film but it must be present, even in the form of a tacit subtext. It is essential. Otherwise, the film is little more than a cartoon and the people who like it little more than cartoon characters.

    Unfortunately, this is the case with the overwhelming percentage of current films. In fact, it is difficult to think of a current film which is not, to a greater or lesser extent, a cartoon. Rather than engage the audience in a philosophical fashion, current films work only to expand the lobotomization and cretinization of our culture.

    A pleasure as always.

    Cheerio!

  10. I’m glad you’re not of the mind that ALL movies are crap anymore, Man. You are, unfortunately, correct with you assessment as to the amount of truly good films released lately.

    Here’s a couple of movies that you probably won’t watch, but are worth the 2 hours of your life…

    1) Inception (2010)
    2) Fight Club (1999)
    3) What the ‘Bleep’ – Down the Rabbit Hole (2006)
    4) Age of Stupid (2009)
    5) Pandorum (2009)

    All have to do, in at least a small way, with the self-imposed ignorance of people. Anyone else have anyone suggestions to entertain the Philosopher?

  11. Seriously? My tirade yesterday morning didn’t make the cut?
    You know damn well every word was true and my thursday was seriously a royally screwed up mess. Just…
    Whatever. I feel like crap and am sleeping this one off.

  12. I imagine the reviewers for the Coast have day jobs and do their Coast-y stuff on the side. It’s a free paper, for God’s sake. Work an eight hour day at your 9-to-5er and then go see a play and write about it for next to nothing. Dream job, indeed.

  13. this IS their day job, intil. She’s been quite good at segregating it from her personal feelings.. the first line of defense…lindsay was probably working like a dog yesterday…. distribution day is a huge chore. I was so pissed off yesterday that I blew up. A fine line bird.. but if it saves me a lawsuit… I’ll take it.

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