You have been lied to, cheated on and abused time and time again. Yet, you continue to be attracted to bad men, like a moth to a flame. Always believing you can fix someone, and giving so much undeserved credit. Will you ever learn to give the good guy a chance? Will you ever realize that you cannot fix people, and accept the love of a man who genuinely loves you? How long will you be able to sustain the lies? The cheating? The unfathomable pain? When do you begin to heal, and to see that you deserve so much more? Sigh… —You Are My Nemesis
This article appears in Aug 16-22, 2012.
hint: it’s because you’re shallow.
The pretty boys can get away with more… so they do.
Take looks out of the equation and see how truly tolerable the men you’re dating really are.
If he were an average joe with the same attitude, would you bother with a second date?
think about it.
Methinks you’re scapegoating the wrong organ.
So true! The trouble with pretty boys is that every other skeez and trollop thinks they’re pretty too…and the guy, most certainly, thrives off female attention. I will say though, there are some very unattractive players in the game as well. Some lack physical appeal, and make up for it with charisma, “swag” & a pile of bullshit
you mean this organ?
http://jasonecooper.files.wordpress.com/20…
don’t do it Christine…
he’s a BAD boy
http://www.elyrics.net/read/d/darren-hayes…
Ugh! Tough one OB. Some women are just beaten down and have absolutely no self-esteem and maybe these particular women think they’re not worthy of the “good guy”. I really don’t know. I have seen this scenario far more than I wish. Seemingly rational, intelligent women jumping from loser to loser. Don’t they see the negative quality on the first date? They should be familiar with it. They can’t see there’s something wrong in their selection process? They should create a list of what they look for in a man and, if the man meets any of those criteria, run the other way.
There must be something of Stockholm Syndrome involved here where constant emotional or maybe physical battering causes one to feel safe in the maelstrom only.
Granted some ladies may thrive on drama but that’s not who I’m talking about here.
I have no real answers OB other than keep the lines of communication open and be patient.
Probably repeating a pattern she learned from a family member.
the suckster has been here all this time, waiting. give yourself oover to the darkness young maiden. the force is stronger than you or anything else. welcome the shadows into your heart and long for love no more. either that, or bash the motherfucker in the head.
OB
Perhaps this woman likes the way she feels when she’s with you.I wonder whether she’s aware you’re such a “bad boy”?….Maybe she’s considered her faults and your faults but wants you anyway.
.
I’d bet my lifesavers that this woman is a nurse. Nurses are always trying to fix somebody & attract assholes like a magnet!
Is this bitch written by a man or a woman? I immediately thought it was a man but it could be a woman reflecting in third person about her fatal attraction to complete idiots rather than a man pining for such a woman. It doesn’t change my feeling on the matter however.
You need to stop the dating altogether and learn who you are as an individual. Stop the serial dating. All you are doing is attracting the same man; only the name is changed. When you put your attentions on yourself and develop some self respect you will attract a higher quality person. Right now all you are is a shit magnet! Been there, done that.
A person that was shit on and abused by so many men yet survived; would have to have some selfrespect or a certain amount of self-esteem. Or she would have just given up on everything.
I don’t know.
Attention,good or bad is still attention.
If OB is talking about a woman,maybe she just doesn’t know how to meet people inorder to meet that”good guy”.
The “bad guy” is drawn to women that were abused like a moth to a flame, or so I’ve been told.
Thought I’d throw my uterus into this conversation again.
I hope it works out for them both.
BORU: Just because she ‘survived’ so many shit magnets does not qualify her to have self respect or self esteem. Have you never heard the old saying, ‘life goes on’? Because it does. If and when the OP develops her own self esteem/self respect she will no longer give these ‘bad boys’ the time of day. When you feel bad about yourself you are always looking for someone, good or bad, to give you a reason to think you are normal or just fine. The truth is that birds of a feather do stick together and right now she really needs to find herself and that will not happen through anyone else, man or woman, good guy or bad guy. Take some time OP to be alone, it won’t hurt you, and you just might realize that a partner is an option NOT a necessity to a happy life. Best of luck.
I simply meant that for a person male or female to have ‘survived’ so many shit magnets they must have “a will to survive”. I can only speak for myself in saying that I am here today because I did have (albiet little)self-respect.I knew that I was ‘worth’ something to myself and my child,so I trudged through the shit and came out the other side. Mind you not completely unscathed but alive non the less.
BORU; I get you now. I think you speak for a lot of us women who have been shit magnets for drunks, assholes, users, and con artists. Yes, somehow we finally caught a friggen clue and dumped their ass. I guess the old saying is true: When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired you will do something different. I think we get to a point on the journey where we Finally Realize having no one is better than having an abusive man in your life. It is true: You never Feel lonlier in this life than when you are with the wrong person in a relationship. You can live alone and never feel lonely but marry the wrong person and you feel like you have the whole world’s problems on your shoulders. Then You Do Feel Lonely. And You Are Alone. You may be married but basically you are in the relationship alone because although they are married to you they continue to live the single life. Good for you and For Me for finally recognizing that there are No Prince Charmings out there who are going to change your world. That comes from inside us, when we finally realize that we are worth so much more. The ‘unscathed’ part is also true, and I think it takes a lifetime to rid yourself of those scars. But Thank God we are on our way!
FYI
“The “bad guy” is drawn to women that were abused like a moth to a flame, or so I’ve been” told.
I’m not saying that the person that told me that was right.She may have had her ‘unfounded’ reason to say that….I truly believe SOME people can change.If I didn’t have some faith and trust in people I would still be a mess. :)…
I realize I was off topic a bit.
@OP I don’t know if you are the man I’m searching for.I refuse to let him go.He has been through so much heartache, much like myself.I think he is confused, at times angry man,Yes we had our little arguments but I can’t stay angry with him,even after he broke my heart…He doesn’t trust people which I understand but,I need him to know I am not out to change him. I want him to trust me enough to make the leap with me.Together the two of us can learn to trust….Some people know a lot about people in general.Some know just how evil to the core humans can be,I have met a few of those evil people in my life.Having said that, I honestly do not feel he is evil.
I’ve tried hard to forget my love but I can’t forget him.The harder I try to forget the harder l fall for him…… I can’t believe you do not have genuine feelings for me.I remember how you smiled at me and the twinkle in those babyblues while we laughed.How you looked at me when our eyes met in a crowded room.I understand your hesitation but I do promise to be gentle with your heart.I will do what I have to to have you. I miss you.I love you.