That Time of The Month: Net worth

We’ve used this space before to talk about the magic of That Time of the Month’s monthly comedy night, and darned if we aren’t doing it again. Monday, March 18 (8pm, $5) at the Company House features the women from the Brickhouse Comedy Collective (Emma Cooper, Anna Danova, Andie Bulman, Meg MacKay, Fern MacAllister, Megan…

Let’s zip our sleeping bags together!

You’re awesome girl. It’s been a whirlwind since I met you a few weeks ago at an outdoors store — you looking for gloves for a winter hike. Since hanging out with you as ‘friends’ I’ve fallen hard. Classic beauty, outdoorsy, smart as a whip, always happy and laughing, and so darn sweet—with the body…

Twitterdee and Twitterdumb

Halifax councillors are mostly failing at their use of social media. Take councillor Matt Whitman. Whitman represents the Tantallon and Hammonds Plains Road areas, and bills himself as the “inventor of reverse networking.” As he explains on his website, “reverse Networking is promoting others rather than myself. If I say I am the best whatever,…

Stopped when there is no traffic

With a T intersection, I’m allowed to turn right on a red light. If I’m traveling across the top of the T from right to left, I’m not crossing any lanes, and I have as good a view as any right hand turning vehicle. Why can’t I go straight on a T intersection? —Straight On…

Eastern Front Theatre is hip to be square

As a child, a life goal was to sit in a celebrity’s seat on the Hollywood Squares set, preferably Joan Rivers’ middle square, but the Secret Square would have been acceptable. I may still be reaching for the stars on this one, but other lucky Haligonians get to experience a reasonable approximation with Eastern Front…

Ashamed of myself

When people get lonely enough they’ll do anything. Including manipulating people. I’m so desperately lonely I’ve been sleeping with the most terrible people. No others will even give me the time of day. I’m not doing it for the sex either, just the company. I go months on end without ever being touched by another…

Put the kabosh on Posh

A certain ex-spice girl dropped 35 grand on her “stylish” new phone that will likely be off-trend and obsolete within a month. There’s an economic meltdown in North America, not to mention starving children all over the world and all the Internet news sources are commenting what a style icon she is. Like OMG what…

Worth it?

To the young buck wanted for my ATTEMPTED robbery and murder, and now a second break and enter to the crimescene, was it all worth that small cup of change? —Still Kickin’ Shit

Raymond Taavel’s family recieves his Diamond Jubilee

Last fall, the late, very great Raymond Taavel was awarded posthumously with the prestigious Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee medal for his dedication to our community. Unfortunately, Taavel’s family was unable to attend the ceremony (where his longtime partner Darren Lewis accepted the medal) but earlier this month MP Megan Leslie made the trip to…

Don’t settle

Elise Boudreau Graham’s graduate exhibition, Or Best Offer (We’ll Take What We Can Get) opened yesterday at Anna Leonowens Gallery (running to March 16) in the thick atmosphere of tension surrounding the fiscal and political situation that NSCAD University has battled since last year. A narrowly missed strike last week nearly dovetailed with Boudreau Graham’s…

ATVs no more

Dear ATV Riders: Someday you’re going to hop on your bikes, and there will be no goddam wheels on it. Your neighbours are sick of hearing your obnoxiously loud four wheelers ripping up and down the streets at 3am. You would think after getting lost in the woods for a weekend and needing HRM’s finest…

I don’t owe you shit

OK, you listen now: We were friends with benefits and nothing more. We hung out and had sex regularly since Christmas time. I didn’t want anything substantial with you and you felt the same way. I met another girl I had more in common with and was more girlfriend material to me. I decided not…

The chase

I know, I need to entice you into the ‘chase’ that most men so desire. The truth is, you have won my heart already. We both like olives, but I believe we can make it work. Please don’t be oblivious, I’m really bad at this! —Lavender Girl

You look like a model, but not a role model

To the harshest mom ever to (dis)grace a certain kid’s centre on Barrington: You had two boys with you, the younger one was obviously your son. I couldn’t tell your relation to the older, teenaged-looking boy because the way you spoke to him was so rude and condescending that he may as well have been…

Where’s your ladder?

What the hell gives people the right to park in the fire lanes at any business in this city? Everytime I go to a local Superstore, there are always at least two or three cars parked there getting in the way of the traffic lanes and pedestrians. All this, so people can “quickly” run into…

Wasabi House is back in action

Sushi addicts who’ve waiting since mid-January for another taste of Wasabi House (6403 Quinpool Road, 429-3300) can finally get rolling. A small fire at the popular hangout and eatery forced it to close for repairs in early 2013, and some delays made for a longer wait than expected. But great news, as of yesterday Wasabi’s…

New life for Fashionably Dead

The never boring, always creepy (in a good way) source for clothing and cool things, Fashionably Dead (5239 Blowers Street) has closed after five years of bringing its unique charm to downtown. But, wait. Before jumping onto the “downtown is the worst, save yourselves!” bandwagon, read what Kate Rankin has to say about the next…

Pizza warmers

I come in to buy a fresh hot slice of pizza and beverage. I ask it is nice and hot? Because I have been disappointed when it is has been cold on previous visits. No problem you say. Our pizza warmers keep it nice and hot. Okay I say, serve it up. I pay and…

Milk

Why can’t you find four litre milk containers in the smaller drug stores? Why does milk have to 7.49 at the grocery stores while it’s 5.29 at big box stores? Why is four litre milk in plastic bags the same price as four litre milk in plastic containers? Why? —I Cry Milk

Sunday night sleaze

Blonde chick you are such a slithering power leech, sidling up to one “Alpha” after another hoping to suck out some status. Your governor is goin’ down, and not just on you. Go breed with a wombat to get your hormones satisfied. I hope you go walkabout over the wall with chicken necks taped to…

Poor widdle cwanky smokie bear

So I was exiting the coffee shop and I see the two men who were in front of me in line giving directions to YOU in the parking lot. They were pointing up the hill and saying “You take a right, etc etc”. Nice pleasant helpful people.. then YOU tactlessly bellow loudly something like “You…

The wild and the beautiful

The girl that broke your heart damaged your confidence and left you feeling shaky about relationships. She cheated on you and played head games (lame!). Then I came on the scene. We click. We can be ourselves with each other. We have fun and we admire each other. I know you’re attracted to me. I’ve…

What would happen if I fell into one of these!?

Giant potholes! I’m glad to see the province with the highest tax rate, also has the deepest and widest variety of potholes! Now it makes me wonder if these potholes are in other places… Not just the roads? What if we have them in the pockets of our public offices!? These potholes need to be…

I am INSULTED by your lack of hygiene!

Alright, I get it. You’re an eco-freak, like half of the friggin’ population that masquerades around town. You care about the environment, you’re aware of socio-economic disparity amongst the greater population, and you probably have some form of a liberal arts degree. Kudos to that. But for the love of god, could you please consider…

Judge approves settlement between Thibeault heirs and Peter Kelly

Eight years, three months and four days after Mary Thibeault died, Peter Kelly is now free of her estate. Today, justice Peter Rosinski signed an order accepting Kelly’s accounting of the estate and discharging Kelly of all further responsibilities. The heirs’ lawyer, Larry Graham, has issued the following press release: Mediated Confidential Settlement – Estate…

A petty bitch for a petty barista

This bitch is directed to a certain coffee bar that happens to exclusively serve gluten-free goodies and ran out of medium-sized cups on Wednesday. I ordered a medium coffee and, since you had run out of medium cups, you gave me the option of another size. You rang it in as a medium, as you…

Bullying issues

To all the people who take issue with the schools’ bullying policy, instead of pointing fingers at government or bureaucracy, take a good look at the parents of said students. If it ain’t about neglect nor indifference….it’s about liability, as in I’m suing if my child is punished and I didnt agree to it. Dollar…

To myself

Thanks for being a strong person. I see people who’ve gone through similar things, and their lives have been absolutely destroyed. How is it I can still trust people? Shouldn’t I be one of those people with “trust issues”? Shouldn’t I be an addict? What is it that makes me so strong? My upbringing? My…

Difference between looking and getting

We tell people they get a 5 dollar gift card for looking at our credit card. We did not say you were getting one but your prejudiced attitude already assumes you are getting a credit card. We tell people activate the card and get another bonus. If they don’t activate it they still get a…

Second Rush show added July 14

After tickets for the Friday, July 12 concert at the Metro Centre sold out in a matter of minutes, acclaimed rock trio Rush had to recognize. Please read the following quote in your best Geddy Lee voice: “We are thrilled that the good folks of Halifax have forgiven our long absence from their beautiful city…

To those who tie their dogs up around town

To the person who tied up their beautiful blue eyed collie looking dog up outside the Quinpool grocery store on Tuesday evening, your dog attacked me and left a minor wound on my leg. I was walking by your dog and was not provoking it. Your dog gave no warning (no growling, no teeth baring,…

Your complete list of ECMW 2013 winners

At last night’s East Coast Music Awards sold-out gala at the Cunard Centre, Rose Cousins and David Myles showed off their hosting chops, with Cousins herself winning three awards and The Stanfields taking home two. Jenn Grant, Jimmy Rankin, Paper Lions and Repartee performed, as the following musicians/bands/other made their way to the stage throughout…

Rock, rap, industry snaps and more: ECMW awards abound

You’re probably watching the awards on TV right now, but let’s cover ECMW on all possible platforms and take a look at who the big winners are as of this morning. Children’s, classical, rock, hip-hop/rap, Francophone and world recording winners join the fold with this morning’s updated list of champs. Children’s Recording of the Year…

ECMW in pictures

Presented for your pleasure: a few choice snaps from a few of the many, many ECMW 2013 showcases in Halifax this weekend. Make up a little local playlist and enjoy.

More and more ECMW awards

East Coast Music Week keeps rolling along with last night’s batch of performances and winners. At the First Nations Showcase, Lone Cloud received the Aboriginal Recording of the Year ECMA for their album We Are Medicine People. Read more about Lone Cloud here. Black Vibes stage saw this week’s Coast cover star Cam Smith take…

I just can’t stop thinking of you alone here with the moon

I want to give thanks to the universe for you-a goddess who has crossed my path. You came in recently to have your car serviced-your adorable little car packed full of horse blankets and treats. All the guys here were going NUTS. I could not have imagined you in my wildest dreams! You are a…

Is your bus driver stoned?

Metro Transit has this week kicked off a PR campaign to convince people to ride the bus. It may be something of an uphill battle, as even mayor Mike Savage hasn’t used a bus since he’s been elected, says Savage’s spokesperson, Shaune MacKinlay. Savage has taken the ferry across the harbour to attend meetings at…

March Madness Beer vs Bar Snacks starts next week

To celebrate the arrival of March, we’re letting our innermost lions roar and encouraging you to unleash your competitive sides, too. Team Coast is getting into the NCAA basketball spirit and entering the wonderful world of brackets, pitting two of our favourite vices—beer and bar snacks— against each other in an incredibly serious March Madness-style…

It only took you an hour and a half, asshole

Furnace at the house stopped working so I got a particular company to come in and fix it (no names). After he replace 3 components and got it running again, he put exclamation marks at the end of each thing he did on the receipt and then acted as if I had done something wrong.…

Happy International Women’s Day from Old and Weird

Awesome band/people Old and Weird will donate any album sales from this weekend to the Avalon Sexual Assault Centre in honour of International Women’s Day. You shouldn’t need any kind of excuse to buy up all of Old and Weird’s music, but if you did, this is a good one. Read more about Old and…

Get a taste of Iron Chef Atlantica

The only thing better than eating food prepared by one of the city’s best chefs is eating food prepared by TWO amazing chefs. The tastemakers at Seasons by Atlantica and Taste of Nova Scotia have something great cooked up for all you foodies. It’s Iron Chef Atlantica, where Seasons’ Luis Clavel and the Park Hyatt…

Last night’s East Coast Music Award winners

Last night kicked off the performance and awards frenzy of East Coast Music Week, Mary Jane Lamond & Wendy MacIsaac and Ben Caplan sung their hearts out at Roots Room while the roots/traditional and folk awards were handed out to Prince Edward Island’s Tim Chaisson for roots/traditional solo recording of the year for The Other…

Public phones

Why are they dissapearing? Is it the rise of cell phones or the crackheads that congregrate around them? I forgot my phone in my girlfriend’s car the other day and needed to call her quickly before she was too far to turn around. Surprise, there are no damn pay phones left. Walked five minutes down…

TAG, you’re it

Theatre Arts Guild’s (TAG) mini festival this weekend, Playwrights@TAG Festival, showcases a mixed bag of short plays, making use of a “waste not, want not” philosophy. Organizers Nick Jupp and Angela Butler, both TAG members, had noticed a surplus of scripts from aspiring playwrights and members of the guild, but a lack of stage time…

The Weldon Literary Moot Society’s jury duty

For the third year running, the Weldon Literary Moot Society (WLMS) puts on an altogether ridiculously goofy evening for a good cause. The annual moot court does a polite curtsey to the 200th anniversary of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice by staging a mock trial between the grumpy but lovable Mr. Darcy and the defendant,…

Hey Mr. Mayor

Hey Mr. Mayor-we need our go-time….maybe you didn’t want the job in the first place….not that you have a chance in hell of being any better than the last one. Maybe you could pick up the two cab’s I had to take, I saved the receipts for you. —No Better Than Smelly Kelly

Sometimes a complete stranger says the right thing

I have been going through a difficult time lately (divorce from an abusive alcoholic, trying to get my life together for myself and my children, etc) and a woman on twitter has been my sounding board. I don’t know her life, I don’t know her background, I only know of her humour and her willingness…

Big plans for provincial parks

The province wants to know what you think of its new parks and protected areas plan. The proposed plan was launched last week by minister of Natural Resources Charlie Parker and MLA Becky Kent, representing the minister of environment. They were flanked by approving environmentalists, including Martin Willison, president of the Canadian Parks and Wilderness…

Mystery walls of Bayers Lake vandalized

The mystery walls of Bayers Lake have long stumped local historians and archeologists, but an even greater mystery has emerged: Who vandalized them? Jeff Turner of the Nova Scotia Archeological Society regularly makes the hike up the hills on the side of Chain Lake Drive where the old ruins lie. “I’m disgusted,” he says. “Why…

Eating out…

So Halifax wants more diversity in their Food Trucks, and a bigger fleet of trucks to cater to our appetites. I love the idea, but what about the local restaurants and fast food places that will suffer? A restaurant on Spring Garden has insanely high rent which they use to figure out their prices. Food…

Free Will Astrology

Happy Birthday! Pisces (February 19-March 20) “Telling someone your goal makes it less likely to happen,” says musician and businessman Derek Sivers. Numerous studies demonstrate that when you talk about your great new idea before you actually do it, your brain chemistry does an unexpected thing. It gives you the feeling that you have already…

Aliens: Colonial Marines

Aliens: Colonial Marines has a lot going for it. It has one of the best developers around, a great framework to build on and actually designed to be official Aliens canon. But it fails in one key aspect: the gameplay. The shooting mechanics are clunky. The controls feel outdated and Xenomorphs just blandly pop out…

Talk of the town

Please, let’s just kill the stereotype. Dash all thoughts from your mind of a lobster in a sou’ester playing a fiddle tune about a haunted bowl of chowder. East coast music—a world of styles beyond the tourist-friendly jigs and reels—has more than paid its dues, so let’s move onwards and upwards. In honour of East…

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1

Riding on the coattails of Christopher Nolan’s summer blockbuster The Dark Knight Rises, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1 is a straight to DVD adaptation of the gritty Frank Miller comic that inspired a generation of storytellers. After a ten-year absence, Bruce Wayne dons his cowl one more time to kick ass and take…

The Glamazon Army is such a drag

When Jason Rose-Spurrell was a kid, he would watch his grandfather stand on the stage of Glace Bay’s Savoy Theatre with The Men of the Deeps. Years later, Rose-Spurrell will stand on that same stage in six-inch heels as Rouge Fatale, one of Halifax’s most well known drag queens. Rose-Spurrell and a crew of nearly…

All our ECMW coverage at once!

Celebrate twenty five years of ECMW-themed merrymaking, award-giving and showcase-playing with our ECMW guide. Take a page from the book of keynote speaker Seymour Stein and discover some new music this week, go for a wander to some of Ben Caplan’s must-visit spots, chill out with Andru Branch during his triumphant return to Halifax, read…

Kim Harris’ folk weapon

From attending her first ECMW conference to working on her first full-length album, 2013 will be a busy year for singer-songwriter Kim Harris. She’ll be playing The Now Case on March 8 at One Block Barbershop which will feature 15 acts showcasing some of the best in the city from March 7-9. Harris said she…

Oz The Great and Powerful

Sam Raimi remakes Army of Darkness in Oz The Great and Powerful, which is far from the worst thing in the world. James Franco is no Bruce Campbell, but does his darnedest as the womanizing carnival cad whose hot air balloon gets swept away to a far off kingdom easily impressed by prestidigitation. Prophecies foretell…

Shellac in his veins

Let’s play a game. Ready? The Ramones. The Talking Heads. Madonna. The Smiths. Depeche Mode. The Pretenders. Regina Spektor. Echo and the Bunnymen. The Cure. Tegan & Sara. Now, does the name Seymour Stein ring a bell? It ought to. Madonna would still be a waitress at Dunkin’ Donuts, David Byrne just a strange yelping…

Halifax in the ‘Past’ Lane

Once considered a sickness, nostalgia is now considered good psychological medicine. Studies at the University of Southampton have found that “remembering past times improves mood, increases self-esteem, strengthens social bonds and imbues life with meaning.” Now that most of us have the worries of mortgage payments, terrorism and global warming, it’s nice to take a…

Bunker down

Rebecca Sharratt swipes away a bundle of frayed cables hanging from the ceiling, allowing her to walk further through the dark and ruined hallway. “This part of the bunker got destroyed at the very beginning of the script,” explains Sharratt, the producer on the feature film being shot inside a Cold War-era bunker in Debert,…

On the Road

Fiery youths scat and screw across the country, as the Beat generation finally gets the Hollywood movie they’ve been waiting for in On the Road. Gestating for decades as a film adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s legendary novel, Brazilian director Walter Salles (The Motorcycle Diaries) has dealt with financial collapse, budget cuts and Francis Ford Coppola…

Ben Caplan’s top 10 HRM haunts

1. Open Mic House Best music venue on Monday nights. Real intimate. Real music. Right next to the NSLC on Agricola.  2. Java Blend Best coffee in Halifax. Roasted under that same roof. Delish! 6027 North Street 3. Dee Dee’s Ice Cream Best ice cream around. Made right there in the store with local ingredients. 5668…

More, more, more

Halifax will no doubt be abuzz for East Coast Music Week’s stacked showcases, but the influx of talented musicians in town also allows for some significant unofficial concerts. This year’s no-cases include high-profile shows hosted by the Night Danger stage, the Halifax Pavilion and The Now Case, geared towards audiences young and old. For starters,…

Letters to the editor, March 7, 2013

Flat notes The musicians and management of Symphony Nova Scotia have reached a new collective agreement after 11 months of negotiating (“Musicians in tune with management,” Reality Bites by Hilary Beaumont, February 21). While it may appear that all is well now in symphony land, and musicians have agreed to work along with management to…

Young Thug

Normal responses to my constant beseeching to listen to Young Thug’s new Brick Squad-affiliated mixtape include: “the auto-tune sounds like he’s euthanizing sick farm animals”; “he isn’t even singing on key”; “he mumbles half his lines and the ones that aren’t mumbles are horrid shrieking yelps” and “the weird half-singing half-rapping cadence sounds like listening…

Light side

It’s hard out there for a Halifax reggae act. But for different reasons than you think. “We used to sell out shows twice a year at the Marquee,” says Andru Branch, Halifax’s Juno-nominated reggae star. “The audiences are there but there’s not much of a West Indian community, so it can be hard to find…

Stephen Fearing

Following a good stretch in Blackie and the Rodeo Kings, Fearing is back to doing what made his name. His first solo album in seven years should reclaim his status in the acoustic realm. The tune he was dying to get out there is “Cold Dawn,” concerning the tragic helicopter crash off Newfoundland in 2009.…

Slean on me

Sarah Slean dreams big—not content to just score a 21-piece orchestral half like Sea of the double album Land & Sea, she found a way to take that big sound on the road (on Sunday her core travelling strings five-piece will be joined by seven Symphony Nova Scotia players) and now she’s working on a…

Born Weird

Three things consistently make me cry with joy: Beyoncé’s “Halo,” when Christian the lion remembers his human friends and Andrew Kaufman. Kaufman’s novels are so clever and fun, I don’t realize how deeply his characters’ emotions resonate with me until I’m welling up. Born Weird is an expertly crafted modern fairytale about the emotions of…

The glow from Glace Bay

It seems incredible that a play as dark and disturbing as The Glace Bay Miners’ Museum left me feeling warm all over, but it did. Part of the glow came from seeing a beautiful production that included a wonderfully versatile and evocative set, music that was integrated in and integral to the play, and masterful…

Thom Swift

Thom Swift follows up 2010’s Blue Sky Day with his third solo recording, The Fortunate Few. Newly released Tuesday, Swift is slated to play during ECMW Friday, March 8 at the Waterfront Warehouse (see the listings, page 15). The Fortunate Few features some lighter-sounding fare (“Sweet Thing”, “Runaway Train”) but for the most part, the…

Lock, stock and one barrel

Q My girlfriend and I read your column religiously, and I have you to thank for being comfortable enough with my kinks to tell her about my interest in BDSM. She is very GGG and has indulged all my kinky fantasies and discovered some of her own. Our latest adventure has her locking up my…

Atoms for Peace

AMOK is the debut album by Atoms for Peace, a supergroup fronted by Thom Yorke, featuring producer Nigel Godrich, rap-rock pioneer Flea and others. The album’s sound will be familiar for anyone who’s followed Yorke’s career since Hail to the Thief, as it deals mostly in squiggly guitars, buzzing synths and busy percussion. From the…

Free ride

“The whole idea behind suddenlyLISTEN is to spread the word about improvisation and really teach people how to listen in a different way when they approach this art,” says Zokugaku free-jazz improv guitarist Geordie Haley. With Dalhousie music lecturer Tim Crofts and drummer Doug Cameron, Zokugaku is a special project for all three multi-genre professional…

Love and the Mess We’re in

“The closet is the dark room where her things will mingle with his things.” In his newest novel, Stephen Marche digs himself into the trenches of adultery and deconstructs the subversive activity down to the very word (he suggests “adolescentry” might be a suitable alternative), taking a simple plot and giving it substantial weight through…

Sights Unseen

NSCAD alum Duncan Ferguson’s Unseen Work is perplexing and kind of crude. In one of a summer series “On Vacation” (above), a sunburned man with a farmer’s tan and prominent spikes of chest hair frowns out at you from thigh-deep water. In another a man sweats in mauve. The eye chart series almost disappears into…

Dead Man Down

Colin Farrell continues to act in movies, what with his new revenge drama Dead Man Down. A low-level gangster with a secret, Farrell is on a one-man mission of vengeance when his plans get disrupted by an emotionally and physically scared neighbour (Noomi Rapace) with plans of her own. Terrance Howard also shows up, utterly…

Closing time

In this long David Bowie song we call life, we must all turn and face the strange at some point. Because with or without the ch-ch-ch-ch, time is running wild and changes are never far off. For Dennis Johnston and Monica Bauché, owners of Fid Resto—a pioneer of the “eat local” movement and stalwart favourite…

Reflections to take over TAO?

Ok heres a little tidbit. We filed an application to move Reflections to Salter street to the old Tao outfitters spot. Will be awesome — Reflections Cabaret (@ReflectionsHfx) March 4, 2013 After Reflections Cabaret sent out some teases via Twitter about filing a proposal to move into a new space, finally it was revealed that…

Women!

Saw you last Friday at the grocery store. I went weak at the knees.You were behind me in the check out we chatted and again behind me in the NSLC. You bought wine, the clerk ID’d you. I wouldn’t have, but you did look so young in your short blue skirt and black tights.Maybe next…

I never cared

About the mess you think you made of your life. I simply cared for you. —Was Always a Friend First


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