Stellar friendship
You were my first real love, and I still love you. This is why parting hurt so much. I feel empty, but not hopeless. If I didn’t believe our friendship would survive I don’t think I could bear it. We’re so young and have so much growing left to do. Nietzsche says that: We are…
Processed food
Little wonder we’re such a fat-ass society with all the sugar, salt and fat that infests processed foods, including all fast ‘food’ fare! Are we such a lazy society that convenience is our only option? Why doesn’t the federal government take a stand with these major food companies and demand they reduce their obscene levels…
Thank you, darlin’
I’m sorry if this is creepy, but I can’t keep sitting in the car anymore. You work back shift drive-thru at a food chain that claims we’re lovin’ it. I used to know a girl who did the same shift, she since quit but I still visit, every Friday night ’cause that’s the only night…
Concert ticket bitch
To all you cocksuckers who bought tickets to the first show (leaving us legitimate buyers in the cold minutes after they went on sale) then posting tickets at an inflated price for sale THAT DAY on Kijiji…..I sincererely hope you get stuck with your handfuls of tickets after a second show was announced! I got…
To the brown-eyed beauty…
I see you every day but don’t have the guts to tell you how hot you are. One time you sat next to me and your thigh was against mine. It made my panties literally (and yes ‘literally’ used as its new definition) look like a jar of mayonnaise exploded. I was sure if I…
Pigs
Da kops R jus out ta git me! When eva I speed, dey pull me ova! Ridin’ durty fo life. Gotta keep it reel fo sho. —Mind Ur Ohn Bidnez Kops
Re-extend the offer
I hesitated and lost out on the one chance you gave me. Still waiting to cash in the IOU to the promised land, where sky is a gorgeous blue, the waters are a light teal and the warm air wraps my body as I prayed you would…We both made our mistakes. One mistake I promise…
Meet me at the Trevi fountain
And your Uffizis hurt. We don’t see each other anymore, adventures or otherwise. You’ve started your own company and are happy with a lovely girl, and I’m married to the man of my dreams. I know too much water has drifted, rushed, and roared under the bridge for us to be close anymore, but I…
The fast food of beers
Isn’t it awesome that a certain brewery is releasing special beers using Hallertauer and Cascade hops? Probably two of the most common beer brewing hops on the planet! Reminds me of that episode of Mad Men when they’re coming up with a campaign for a Virginia tobacco company… —Cranky
Second Base scores
Just when we thought Plan B Merchants’ Co-op (2180 Gottingen Street, 406-1254) couldn’t fit anymore interesting, perplexing, wacky and beautiful things within its four walls, Second Base Goods slides in with some damn fine duds. The city’s newest thrift shop opened within Plan B last week (hang a left once you’re inside), bringing with it…
Submitting a friendship request
I want you my friend, to share a bottle of wine with. I’m dying to get caught up on my favorite movies… —My Favourite Billing
Halifax drivers need to stop fucking everything up
Just a friendly tip: when you are driving your car, keep your right-of-way, people. That means don’t do weird stuff like slamming on your brakes for someone who is aimlessly standing next to the road looking like they might think of crossing it someday, insist cyclists go ahead of you at the four-way stop, freak…
Seriously… WTF is wrong with me??
So there you stood, in all of your glorious, mustached perfection, smiling at me ever so sweetly while you waited for your coffee…which is exactly the opening I’ve been waiting for, and what do I do? Stare at you like a deer in the headlights and keep walking. Really?? Seriously….I am officially hopeless when it…
Noone needs to know yet…
Dear friends, I love you all so very much, but I can’t take this anymore. I’m taking a huge leap after this school year is done, and chances are I won’t be telling you until just before my departure. I hope you understand. I’m not giving up my dreams; I’ll still be pursuing my education…
Seal zeal
Saturday, March 16th marks the International Day of Action for Seals. A world-wide call to arms, or clubs, to protest the annual seal cull. I would like to propose that we extend this level of zealotry to all living things. Perhaps in April we could mark the International Day of Action for Rats. July would…
Day 3: Guinness vs Coors Light and poutine vs deep-fried pickles
While I’ve no doubt that most of you have been biting your nails all weekend in anticipation of Monday’s match-ups, if you aren’t sure what you’re looking at right now, here’s a little background. We’re pitting snacks against snacks and beer against beer with the ultimate goal of snack versus beer, oh dear god the…
Probably friends forever
Ending a relationship is tough. It’s particulalrly tough when its been a long one and the people you share are so mutually connected. However sometimes good things come. After what can only be described as a brutal 3 months, I find myself only having eyes for you. But you’re with that guy, and there are…
Between classes
I run into you all the time. You have red hair, wear a blue wool jacket and you seem to daydream even more than me. I’m working up the nerve to ask you what’s on your mind. Did you notice me yesterday, or was it a trick of the light? — Another Smoker
Coffee house blues
The coffee shop I worked at terminated me after a year of service with no reason given, a mere 2 days after speaking with the owner regarding issues I had with the lack of communication within the work place. Guess he would sacrifice fast, fresh, and friendly for burnt, rude and filthy. Donut fryer hasn’t…
March Madness: Beer vs Bar snacks
This year, to make the month of March a little more bearable we’ve decided to engage our competitive sides in some NCAA-inspired tournament action. Except, instead of basketball we’re cheering on our favourite beers and bar snacks. Intrigued? Get your head in the game via all the juicy details here. Once you’re done your research,…
Ships passing in the gym
We passed today – you on your way out, me on my way in. You had a ball cap on, some scruff and really nice eyes. We did the polite half smile when we made eye contact but I really wanted to stop you and make up some reason to talk to you. So… Hi.…
Falkland St. is 2-way!
Hey Halifax Drivers – Next time to take a meandering rip through the North End, don’t spin up Falkland like you own the damn road. Falkland Street is 2-WAY from Gottingen alllllllll the way up to Maynard. From Maynard to Bauer is 1-Way. You blockade the street one more time and then halt with the…
Onterribly sorry
Having just spent a week at a business conference in Toronto… I finally appreciate Nova Scotia. Thank you Onterrible, for opening my eyes, and thank-you Scotians for holding doors, not throwing your shoulders into me while I walk down the street and smiling for no reason all the time without it being a sign that…
You mistook me for Ronnie?
And I really wish I had introduced myself instead of awkwardly smiling and saying I wasn’t Ronnie. You were stunning. I feel like I missed out. —Someone Who Wishes He Had Spoken Up
Triage honey boo boo
So halfway through my work day I came down with yet ANOTHER UTI. I get them frequently and they’re usually quite dramatic. Painful, nasty and accompanied by fever and bleeding. They suck. So I blew off half my workday to hang out in triage waiting to see a doctor. I couldn’t walk well because of…
GFE
Such a wonderful space, not restricted to your table, full of friends, and wonderful food. I go every morning for coffee, and dont think I’d ever go elsewhere, thank you to all the beautiful staff, and the wonderful friends who keep this place going. I will continue to eat your amazing breakfasts! much love to…
She’s a song
Last year we dated.. This year, less then 24 hours after I messaged you for the first time in 9 months I see you in the lobby of the Dartmouth public library. There must be over a million rooms in HRM. I end up in the same room as you… I’m sorry I didnt smile…
Northern Ontario flag
Labrador has a flag, Cape Breton has a flag, so why not Northern Ontario. Besides, I want people to know that I am cheering for the North not the South at the Brier. —Congrats!
No war in a place of love
To the young man I helped pull off of another in a fist fight in the dome this past weekend, Thank you. Thank you for letting me help pull you off of him, Thank you for not slugging me and coming to your senses quickly. Thank you for dancing with me and letting me hug…
You won’t post my bitch because I criticize The Coast?
FUCK YOU for not allowing criticism of your Horoscope Section, yet allowing so much childish bullshit to be published. Your “newspaper” isn’t worthy of lightly my woodstove, let alone letting my cat piss on it Fuck your hypocritical, moronic, superstitious selves. —Superstitious Morons Run The World
Day 2: Garrison Nut Brown vs Bud Light Lime and Nachos vs Vending machine chips
OK, if you’re new to the game here’s a refresher on the most tasty of all March Madness brackets. In a nutshell, we’ve created the ultimate tournament where two of our faves —beer and bar snacks—will battle it out for the crown over the next few weeks. Can an underdog greasy snack upset one of…
What a waste of paper
I rage every time I see the idiotic Horoscope section in the Coast. Are you people really so moronic to think that the position of the planets on the day you popped-out of your mother’s vagina has ANY effect whatsoever? We shouldn’t be cutting-down trees to print such bullshit. It’s 2013, people. Start acting like…
I should have stayed
I was just leaving the open mic when you were stepping in. You said I should stay, and you were right! But I was concerned about my early morning class, so I rejected your suggestion and regretted it all the way home. By the way, I thought you were gorgeous. Next week I’ll plan to…
Oh, love
I’ve been reading these since the Pssst days, and I have always secretly hoped that someday I would log on to find that someone is admiring me from afar. But it hasn’t happened, so I’ll just unload all my baggage here instead. Years ago, I went through a difficult time and became a hardened person,…
A clear pattern
Ok, I had to finally blow you off. As that is how it has felt on this side of the fence for the last year. You seemed to want a friendship, something I could have truly used especially this past year. At first it was good conversation, then an offer to go dancing. Something I…
Personal rant to self
Yes your first long term relationship was with an abusive alcoholic drug addict. There have been some rough times, but enough is enough. It’s been almost five years since you left the abusive boyfriend; and it’s been a while since you found out the tool guy you dated (a few years after said earlier boyfriend)…
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf
I have to admit I was a little afraid. Edward Albee’s Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf is a harrowing play, and it’s a long play. On top of that, in the Dal Theatre Society Production, it’s a play about a world-worn middle-aged-couple played by two fresh-faced twenty-somethings. Scary stuff. Well, my fears proved unfounded. The…
I love you, menstrual cup
Ladies, if you don’t yet have a menstrual cup and are still carrying on with pads and tampons, let me just tell you that you are missing out!! I’ve been using mine for over a year now and could not be happier and will never go back. It is so convenient and comfortable and you…
Mental marbles
I know I’m not perfect and now you do too, I love that you accept my marbles so full heartily. I was so scared you wouldn’t understand or think of me differently, but you didn’t in fact you just smiled and asked how to help me. I know no one is perfect, but thank you…
Satisfaction guaranteed
There are many vegetarians and food lovers in general that are likely still mourning the loss of well known veggie paradise Satisfaction Feast (formerly of 3559 Robie Street), which closed in 2011. Feast mourners, allow me to make your day: its alive! Satisfaction Feast now has a booth at the Historic Farmers’ Market (1496 Lower…
Ekim moves in
Gail Gosbee’s women’s clothing boutique Ekim Fashions was such a hit in New Glasgow, it only made sense to take a crack at the big city. (Yes, I just called Halifax a big city). The shop, which has a reputation for its kind and genuine customer service, opened up at its second location near historic…
Thieving git
To the cretin who stole my coat the other night, I curse you and all your kith and kin. Never again will you be able to enjoy the little pleasures in life. A beautiful sunny day will bring only melancholy and despair, your favourite foods will turn to ash in your mouth and all that…
Alright, you win…
….and by you, I mean those of you who said you wanted to be friends. Pardon my fucked-up upbringing, but I was taught that being friends meant actually asking people how they were doing or helping them just because you can (clearly not your definition). Oh, and by the way? That thing I told you…
To Neverland we go
“Oh, the cleverness of me!”, exclaims my Peter as yet another idea takes residence among the crowds gathered in his thoughtful head. This particular truth is the very reason that I, Wendy, sit among the stars, and lose myself in dreams of this boy’s inconceivable ability. You know me not to be in need of…
Is this what people do now??
Hey, Old Guy with the Skull Wrist Band and Skull ring, if “Did I see you on SuchandSuchDatingWebsite.com?” is your idea of a conversation opener or a pick up line – you seriously need to rethink your strategy. You should not have been so surprised by my “NO! – and I’m not interested, no thanks,…
Parting is such sweet sorrow
This is to all of Halifax. I love you. This city, the people, the atmosphere, you swept me off my feet. The past ten months haven’t been the easiest, and it breaks my heart to run back to my home province, but sadly it needs to be done. I’ve loved and lost, gone through good…
Roll models
Perseverance is Stephanie Weber-Biron’s motto. As a cinematographer, she understands the negative stereotypes of women behind the camera. “One director asked me if I could handle the big, heavy cameras,” says Weber-Biron. “I know that people try to second-guess our work. It took a long time to get where I am.” Weber-Biron looks to inspire…
The Khyber: 125 years young
“One of the most important ways to save a building is to occupy it,” said Elizabeth Pacey of the Heritage Trust, speaking at the Khyber last Wednesday. Pacey was explaining how the gothic-style Barrington Street building came to celebrate its 125th birthday. “The historic architecture really makes it into a landmark building and I think…
Cider report
Lately, hard cider is kind of a big deal in the beverage world. But don’t call it a comeback. As long as there’ve been apples blossoming in the Annapolis Valley— so for, you know, hundreds of years—Nova Scotians have been making and drinking the sweet stuff. Now we’re simply catching on to the UK way…
Rainy city reggae
If you’re heading to the The Palace Thursday night, you might be surprised to hear echoed dub vocals and and live instrumentation rocking the party instead of a DJ. On March 14, Dub Kartel will bring a party with some heavy, reggae- inspired riddims. After forming in late 2011, the eight-piece band has built a…
Out of sight
Adventurous diners can enjoy a unique experience Thursday, March 14 as the local branch of the Canadian National Institute for the Blind brings its Dining in the Dark fundraiser to the city in partnership with Dalhousie University’s first year Bachelor of Pharmacy students. While similar fundraising events have been hosted by CNIB in Charlottetown, Truro…
Nightclub classroom
The DJ studies you. She looks for your physical response to the music. “It’s the goal for a DJ,” says Larisa Mann, AKA DJ Ripley, “to also make a mental connection. At least that’s what I try to do.” She’s been at it for 16 years and has learned a few things. The set is…
Battle of the Belg
It is difficult to tell whether the immense popularity of Halifax’s newest craft brewery, Bridge Brewing Company, is due simply to its newness, or to the fact that it specializes in Belgian-style beer. But one is tempted to conclude that the enigmatic nature of Belgian ale is the carrot. Since opening in January, Bridge has…
Hitman take a hit
Movies would have us believe that a hitman is stealthy, works quickly and doesn’t leave a trace. Halifax stoner metal band Hitman, however, makes quite a bit of noise, leaves trails of empty bottles in its wake and took about a year to make the new three-song EP, Whiskey Downfall. For fans of Black Label…
Don’t Restrained yourself
These women are not made of porcelain. Louise Pentz’ Restrained gives a thorough critique of the plight of women around the world. Pentz’ works are smoke-fired clay sculptures. The materials allow Pentz to fully explore the depths of the female experience. Each piece is symbolic and moving. “Collateral Damage” shows broken pieces of different women…
Racism: Whose Problem?
For white people reading this article, let me get a few things out of the way. 1. No, I’m not saying you’re a racist. 2. This is not about you feeling guilty. 3. Yes, there are things you can do to change things. BREAKING NEWS: There is racism in Nova Scotia. By racism, I mean…
Reduce, reuse, repair
With repair services seemingly a thing of the past, and closets full of disposable things designed not to last, what started as an assignment for sustainability student Shauna Doll has evolved into a full day of getting back on track. The Mended Blender Upcycle Cafe is a vision based on programs in the Netherlands and…
Letters to the editor, March 14, 2013
Archival notes It was great to hear about Rosalind Whelan’s Vintage Halifax Facebook page (“Halifax in the past lane,” Voice of the People, March 7). It is admirable that Rosalind has curated a space where people can use historical photographs to share memories, reconnect, and debate about the world around us. This speaks volumes to…
Get a little romantic
It’s been a voyage getting the romantic folk-pop of Inlet Sound back to Halifax. The band first played here last August, but this Thursday they’ll be riding a new wave to The Company House. “This time we’re getting a fair amount more buzz so we’re just really excited,” says vocalist and guitar player Michael Wexler.…
Summer’s coming
Nothing goes better with a stubborn determination not to keep wearing your winter coat like the ambient surf-pop of Lake Names’ new EP Folly. “We actually like the idea of releasing that summery music in the winter,” says Marcus Fiddes. “Kind of like ‘Summer’s coming.'” Groundhog Day is hogwash, here’s the real measure of the…
A Royal Affair
Something’s rotten in the state of Denmark, namely a tryst between the Queen and her physician in the superb period piece A Royal Affair. The lavish story dramatizes the true tale of Danish queen Caroline Mathilda, whose marriage to mentally ill King Christian VII eventually pushes her into the arms of royal physician Struensee (a…
The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
Duelling magicians compete for the love of Las Vegas showmanship in the clunky comedy The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. After losing his “magical friendship” with partner Anton Marvelton (the always game Steve Buscemi), Wonderstone (Steve Carell) has to give up his lavish lifestyle and relearn the roots of stage magic if he ever hopes to defeat…
Homebrew’s where the heart is
“It can be impossible to drink a bourbon barrel-aged Russian Imperial Stout in Nova Scotia unless you brew it yourself, and that’s the crowd I am firmly planted in,” says Chris MacDonald of the Brewnosers Homebrew and Beer Appreciation Club. He, like many of the group’s 200 active members, has been preparing over the past…
Bottoms up, it’s the Beer Guide
Happy nearly St. Patrick’s Day peeps. With the sudsiest celebration of them all arrives our annual Beer Guide, where we’ve tapped into some of the biggest lovers of the drink there are. Click HERE to read about the Bridge to Belgium, enthusiastic homebrewers, the history of Halifax bootlegging, my case for cider and more. Cheers,…
The Call
WWE Studios continues to crank out actual movies with actual actors, as in this mostly entertaining 911-thriller The Call. Halle Berry stars as a fierce 911 dispatcher whose eagerness to help inadvertently gets a kidnapped teenager killed. When the killer’s next victim (Abigail Breslin) tries calling for help, Berry is forced to take over and…
An accidental fetish star
Q I’m an actor in New York. A lot of people think actors are whores, but last week I almost became one. I responded to a casting call for a film project called Sniff. The ad—on Playbill’s website—called for two male actors to film a short scene. The pay was $100 for a day’s work.…
It’s the firkin weekend
Ever since infamous Halifax brewmaster Greg Nash (of Hart and Thistle) took over brewing duties the Rockbottom Brewpub, things have been hoppin’. Each Saturday, the experimental brewer taps a firkin (a small cask, about 41 litres) at noon. It can last as long as early evening, or run out as quickly as 3pm. The most…
Free Will Astrology
Happy Birthday! Pisces (February 19-March 20) A source of fulfillment you will enjoy in the future may seem almost painful when it initially announces its presence. In other words, your next mission may first appear to you as a problem. Your situation has a certain resemblance to that of prolific Russian composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky, who…
Try a little temperance
It’s the oft-touted folktale of boastful pub crawlers that Halifax has the most bars per capita of any city in the history of the universe. True or not, it certainly isn’t hard to find a pint in the downtown. These streets weren’t always so sudsy, though. Prohibition, the 1920s American movement designed to supply a…
My mind went blank
Never have I met a guy for the first time and my mind goes blank, and just stops. The first time I met you when you started at work, I was instantly attracted to you. My over active brain actually stopped and was quiet. My reaction to you shocked and scared me because it was…
Catnapper
To the North End catnapper, thanks so much for abducting my cat off the street today, ignoring the fact that she has a collar (a glamorous one at that) and is clearly not a stray. You claim you see her outside “24/7”, she’s a fucking outdoor cat you dunce. We never let her outside after…
Catnapper
To the North End catnapper, thanks so much for abducting my cat off the street today, ignoring the fact that she has a collar (a glamorous one at that) and is clearly not a stray. You claim you see her outside “24/7”, she’s a fucking outdoor cat you dunce. We never let her outside after…
Harlem shake: Dance culture or dance floor disaster?
The Harlem Shake: a 1981 cultural show case or a 2013 disaster on the dance floor? The only thing I’m Sure Al B. is shaking is…his head. This train wreck of a dance show is making its way around the world on anything, everything, anywhere, and every where. If you’re on a bus, the subway…or…
The journey isn’t always easy
I watched you this summer be challenged every where you turned; with work, loss of family and other people you loved. You stumbled but you needed room to do that. You carried on and in the midst of other huge changes in your life, you started to laugh again, tell jokes again, be “You” again.…
