I rage every time I see the idiotic Horoscope section in the Coast. Are you people really so moronic to think that the position of the planets on the day you popped-out of your mother’s vagina has ANY effect whatsoever? We shouldn’t be cutting-down trees to print such bullshit. It’s 2013, people. Start acting like it. —Hoping Humanity Grows Up
This article appears in Mar 14-20, 2013.
Yeah, it’s bull-puckey.
Still, it’s more accurate than anything Tim Arse-Biscuit has menstruated over these august pages.
They’re cutting down trees to publish this bitch line bullshit so what’s the difference?
Well actually, the alignment of the Sun, Moon, Planets, and Stars has a ‘negligible’ effect on us for everything from basic body chemistry to personality traits.
From a physics perspective it makes perfect sense. The energy fields associated with a heavenly body the size of Jupiter are capable of effecting objects much larger than ourselves and at a much greater distance. Jupiter once caught a comet on a trajectory out of the Kuiper belt, pulled it into an orbit, then proceeded to crush it to dust. If it can do that, what small pulls is it making on us? Our bodies have an energy field of their own, how are they being effected by nearby (relatively) larger energy fields.
Just because you can’t see something (like a planets influence on you) doesn’t mean it’s not there.
I’m not saying everything that horoscopes dictate is true. Not at all. But, the idea behind astrology, that heavenly bodies effect us, I believe is a very real possibility.
RSVP
: Queen Wogdog – Nominated #1 (03/15, 9:11AM)
An excellent point Woggie.
It raises the question as to just how the criteria for publishing this “bitchline bullshit” are superior to those supporting the publication of a Horoscope. This, of course, raises the further question of the relative ontological standing of them both, i.e., their respective claims to embody reality in any comprehensible sense of the concept. Or are both simply unsupported belief-systems? Are both purely imaginary worlds? Are they both completely mindless? Does either one matter in any real sense? These questions as well as others call out for analysis. Congratulations again, Woggie!
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
I was born a snake handler, and I’ll die a snake handler.
OP, what’s with the hyphens?
RRVD
: Queen Wogdog – Nominated #1 (03/15, 9:11AM)
An excremental point, Noggie.
It praises the erection as to just how the clitoris for mashing this “bitchbox bullpenis” are anterior to those sporting the predilection for a Whore’s Bath. This, of course, amazes the Father Superior of his relative’s onanism while standing in both., i.e., their discursive planes to empower fealty in any prehensile member. Or are both simply unescorted teat-systems?
Are both surely vaginal whorls? Are they both competently spineless? This questions the mothers who bawl out for anal sex. Emascualtions again, Froggie!
I pleasure myself frequently.
Oleomargarine.
OB, I hope you’ve sent this bitch to every paper in the free world as most, if not all, carry the horoscope. Oh and don’t forget the internet.
if a horoscope in a newspaper makes you rage you might want to try some anger management therapy for your obvious mental health issues.
Pennis AKA Furious again trying to imitate MM. I told you before you are not capable of doing that as your post clearly indicates. Go back to being the moron you really are. Just be yourself.
The Captain is the text book definition of a Scorpio.
Anyone else on here cool? OR, are you all a bunch of Gemini and Capricorns?
Pennis AKA Furious again trying to imitate PP. I told you before I am not capable of doing that as your post doesn’t indicate. Go back to being the bore-on you really are. Just like me.
Sorry woogy, I wish I could take credit for that one. Hats off to whoever it is though!
*claps slowly, a single tear rolling down my cheek*
Cancer/water dragon here
I knew there was a reason I liked you, Good Dog.
I’m a water Dragon as well. Obviously not because we were born in the same year tho.
https://forums.digitalpoint.com/threads/yo…
As true today as it was when it was written.
OP – the stars reveal that you will soon come into a large amount of money. Bringing your career as a bank teller to a ]sudden and unpleasant end.
http://pixdaus.com/files/items/pics/8/36/2…
lol cap, every 12 th year the best of us arrive. i do not believe in equality everywhere. bloody glad i was not born a bunny or a chicken.
1952. and apparently i will go nuts this year with gambling and tawdry affairs. bloody rim. i wonder who the unfortunate schmuck will be upon whom i pounce-eth.
True Story. There are worse fates…
Could you imagine being a Rat Goat? Or a Virgin Bunny? Or a Centaur Cock?
The Captain will be sticking with Scorpion Dragon, thank you very much.
i’m an ox bull
Ram cock here!! (snicker)
lol, no surprise pg. funny isn’t it..so far cap, you and i have ‘matching’ signs. ox/bull definitely similar. my crab/dragon are both hard shelled and depending on what version of dragon you embrace, other characteristics similar. and dragon/scorpion is a great pairing!
compared to, say, a bunny and a scorpion. can’t see that one. pisces and a rooster??? nope.
i wonder if people with incompatible pairings are conflicted?
shit, I’m a cock scorpion which.. coincidentally is my porn name…
and trademark.
better than dirk diggler
the bear is a dog seagoat
I hate people like you OP.
—–
the bear is a dog seagoat
—–
And mares eat oats, and does eat oats, and etc etc. 🙂
p
That’s a good question, Good Dog.
My personality traits don’t seem to conflict too much, but I can see where some people might have trouble. Like if their signs had complete opposite traits, like Logical versus Emotional, or Courage versus Temperance, or Loyalty versus Free Will.
zZz… Most Porn Stars are Scorpios, and all Scorpios are Porn Stars. Ahhhhhh yeah!
i am still sniggering about reg’s combo.
hey! what makes those traits opposite??? courage vs temperance? perhaps foolhardiness vs taciturnity….
but courage is not the opposite of temperance. courage is full knowledge of the risks and experiencing head spinning fear, but doing it anyway.
Okay, I can see that. Maybe extreme temperance versus blind courage?
nice bounce back , maybe we are thinking of temperance differently. timidity? overly cautious?
like a pairing of bull and bunny, wouldn;t know if you should charge or hide.
damn, now i am thinking about bull torture (aka bull fights for men with small penises)
Yeah, I was using the word a little wrong. Just googled the definition. I was thinking temperance was along the lines of restraint or holding yourself back, whereas courage is lack of restraint and more about taking action.
actually if you use paper for anything around your house and would either have to buy it or recycle a zine, the recycled zine is a lot more intelligent. It’s like how i use grocery store bags for cat litter.
Be a little more inventive op, if you want problems solved. Don’t wait for some Edison to do it for you.
and op… we ARE becoming a paperless society – if you’ve held a job for the past five years you’d know this. We used to use a SHITTON of paper compared to today. In my office we barely use any. For anything and it is highly discouraged.
See op.. you know what your problem is. Those of us who come up with solutions are constantly being nagged by those of YOU who do nothing but complain and don’t come up with any solutions because we’re not moving fast enough. SHIT TAKES TIME op so sit back, try not to think about how your electric car is burning fossil fuel anyway, and SHUT UP. Let the intelligent handle things, mmkay? You just go back to your video games and fapping.
Actually, crayons, paper consumption has increased by almost half since 1980 and Canada is in the top 10 offenders.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/art…
So there 😛
This bitch is still ridiculous though. I’m sure there are things OP enjoys that other people think are stupid. Don’t know why people can’t understand this. I hate defending my personal choices about how I spend my time, what I like to read/watch/listen to etc. to other people. Just fuck off and focus on what makes YOU happy, unless of course that happens to be spewing out negativity and putting other people down all the time, in which case you should just fuck off and/or die.
Me too Painey! Meeee tooooo! And lmao @ Reg’s combo….hahaha! I needed that 🙂
OP, if you are going to complain about something being idiotic, you should learn the difference between ‘effect’ and affect.
I didn’t read all the comments, so pardon me if this has been covered (I hope it has).
If the horoscopes cause you rage, then you have bigger issues than who does and does not post your bitches. Get that checked. And maybe medicated.
Had a good chuckle at your avi and your post, Furious.
Fuck I love the ninja turtles..
Captain’s a scorpio, eh?
Interesting. Very interesting….
http://zodiac-signs-astrology.com/zodiac-s…
My wording could have been better! Probably got Mister Meaty all hot and bothered.
leave my mom’s vagina out of this and i’ll leave this out of your mom’s vagina
MM’s commentaries courtesy of his parent’s basement.
The horoscopes are very creative even if they are written by a bigamy advocate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26IOww0gO1…
well played agent195…
I’d forgotten about that one.