To our esteemed government protectors
Finally, with the assistance of e-cigarettes, smokers can reduce the harm to their health as they get control over an addiction they didn’t understand or ask for when they started smoking cigarettes. No harm from second-hand smoke, no cancer risk, no combustibles, no smell. These products are 100% legal in Canada, sold as a consumer…
Icy Road Problems
I was stuck on the hill at the intersection of Old Sambro and Herring Cove Rd last week on a patch of ice in the left turning lane (I have winter tires). I had my four ways on for what seemed like an eternity. People were driving by for a while while I sat there…
The Garrison Spruce diet
Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how tasty is your craft brew. Bow down, other seasonal flavours, Garrison Brewing’s famed Spruce Beer is back. Made with actual fir and spruce (from Meander River Farms), blackstrap molasses and dates it’s a rich ale, perfect for holiday indulgence, and the tradition behind this strong and malty ale…
Hair of the Dog Tea time
Mie Mie Sein isn’t just a botanist, herbalist and the owner of Sawadee Tea House (1871 Granville Street)—she’s a hangover miracle worker. By combining over 10 different herbs—including the South American tummy settler boldo and chamomile— she’s created her Hair of the Dog Hangover Tea, a concoction she swears by. “My friends like to party,…
Happy Whatever
I know. Another Christmas bitch. But seriously, almost everything is closed on Christmas day, so why the hell aren’t I allowed to say “Merry Christmas”? —I don’t even celebrate it, but you should have a happy one
Hey Hogfather!
I would’ve loved to have talked with you longer but I had to get back to work. If you ever want to chat some more about Terry Pratchett let me know! —If you haven’t found a copy yet I’m almost done with mine
Best of the worst
The best lists of the year always include the same groups of people. Where is the diversity? What does a person have to do in order to get recognized in some context? Work for the media? Or “date” someone who does? —Tired of the sheep mentality
Public Service Employees
In response to the letter carrier… “…last year, our first year in the red, 7,402 performance bonuses were still paid out, so we can’t be doing too badly.” That statement for me sums up what is wrong with CP, and the Public Service in general. Even when they fail financially, they still expect no impact…
I’m not staring!
To the guy[s] from a local swimming pool who dampened my night. You went over to the side of the pool while I was in it and said “Why the hell you staring at, it’s creepy, stop staring ya creep.” I was confused and caught off guard you even said that then after you and…
To my alliterative coworker
I was struck by your sweet smile the first time we met and was so pleased to actually have a conversation with you the other day. Thank you for making our office a little brighter! I’d be happy to practise French with you any time. —HelloBonjour
A goodbitch
It’s the longest night tonight. That means something good. The days are only going to get longer starting tomorrow! The sun will be more powerful every day! We are heading towards summer folks. Keep that in mind! —Summer is coming!
You’re doing it wrong
There are two (sometimes three) lanes that enter the Armdale traffic circle at each junction. If the lane adjacent to you is entering the circle at a faster rate then your lane, you are doing it wrong. —fudgemorningcommutes
Dear Halifax Drivers
its a scary dangerous place out there. and I know it isn’t all your fault. some people don’t pay attention when they’re walking and /or biking. but I do. so from now on, drivers of all ages, races, creeds and car colors be aware: I’m collecting parts of cars that hit me, cut me off,…
Pedestrians and Drivers
The amount of pedestrians that have been hit by vehicles in the recent past is alarming. I walk everywhere in Halifax and have had a few close calls. I often see drivers who are not paying attention. However, I think pedestrians of Halifax need a little reminder of a poem most of us learned in…
Feminism
I’m a man, and I’m straight up tired of hearing people talk negatively about feminism. It’s from both men, and women. But, women are easily the more ironic offenders in the situation, as they talk out loud, in public, with their own opinions. Feminism is the belief that a woman is capable of, exactly what…
To my snowplow driving saviors
Me, being the idiot that I am, left my grandfathers car parked in my driveway while the snow, rain and freezing temperatures froze a giant block of icy barricade to the end of my driveway. I thought the car may be stuck there until spring. That was until you came and saved the day Snowplow…
Lost watch on number 7 Gottingen about 1 to 2 weeks ago
I know this is not a Love OR a Bitch, but I didn’t know where to post it, so I thought it would be better as a “Love the Way we Love” item. About 2 weeks ago, I was taking the number 7 Gottingen home and noticed something shiny on one of the seats that…
Ridiculous Planners
Not sure who to blame the traffic situation in Halifax on, but I’m betting there are some retired planners laughing their ass’ off! Maybe it’s all the histerical holiday shoppers out last night but it took me over 2 hours to get out of downtown over to Bayers Lake. All I can say is “it’s…
(Not so) Hidden Racism
I’m tired of explaining how racism is still very much alive in Halifax. I witness it everyday. I hear and see it, and watch human souls get a little more crushed every single time. When something is not directed towards you, there’s a human tendency to ignore it. This is the reason racism still lives.…
Told Ya
It didn’t take long for the ‘truth’ to come out, did it? Dexter hadn’t even cashed his first big fat pension checks before we are told that instead of having a slim surplus, we are up shit creek to the tune of almost Half a Billion Dollars! So, it looks as if we will be…
Raven-haired Smile maker
I saw you this morning and was stopped in my tracks! Shoulder length Raven hair, slim build…. completely stunning. I’ve been up and down the hallway a thousand times. Today was the first time i’ve ever seen you. I was walking toward you to introduce myself but you were obviously in a hurry to get…
Way too in love
I hate going to sleep at night, because I dont want to waste a second of my time spent with you. When I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I cannot wait to marry you, have a family, and turn grey. You are…
CANADA GROSS!
To all the people out there adorning Canada Goose jackets. I hope you know how much pain and suffering your 700$ bought. Those jackets use coyote fur which is acquired “humanely”. So no farms just people trapping the coyotes. These poor animals are often left for dead by starvation or dehydration all in the name…
Nudie suits
In a world of so many baffling musicians and their gimmicks, when someone recommends an album to you and calls it a mixture of Chris Isaak and Dwight Yoakam, you sit down, shut up and listen. That’s been my experience with Nudie’s latest album, Remember This. Featuring Roger Carter, Mark Geddes, Dean Dunsford, Aaron Currie,…
Peter White’s night
“It’s the people, the friendliness. It’s being able to walk down Spring Garden and know that you’re going to see someone you know. London is a very lonely place, despite the fact that you’re always surrounded by people, they don’t interact the way people do in Halifax,” says comedian Peter White. “When you walk into…
the saddest of all sad christmas songs
To whoever wrote the sad Christmas song about a dying cat and the radio station who played this song: Why did you write this song? It doesn’t rhyme and there was a lack of poetic language. I was expecting that things would turn around and the cat would find a cozy home but it turns…
Halifax, you’re racist
This city has a HUGE racism problem. I see it all the time, every single day. And, oh, by the way, I’m white. I see it on the streets, in lineups, when I order food, at school, at work, everywhere. News outlets here refuse to even touch race issues, UNLESS the story was already broken…
Decorum
Decorum…really? In one of the busiest local breakfast eateries you have the gaul to loudly talk trash about a couple of “at least 50 year old women” because your empty little head you thinks they need to “act their age”, “take that leopard print off, I mean they were like 50”, and “like everyone should…
Time to put the Christ back in Christian
To the person who made the “Vote for Jesus this Christmas” signs. Here’s a thought…why don’t you take the money you spent on making those stupid signs (I’m pretty sure if Jesus rises again, he won’t be running for office in Halifax) and the time it took to post them (I think you need to…
Sociopathic Dink
You’re goin’ down my friend. Insurance scams, employee scams, ripping customers off. Time’s tickin and a jail cell’s a-waitin. No more $29.00 lunches in your $48.00 Oxfords. Copy that psycho? —Scam Buster
Unassuming Bus Beauty
The 10 was a few minutes late to Mic Mac Mall, where we both got on, sitting diagonally across from each other in those usually-awkward seats that face one another. The bus being delayed had made me late for work, but your face made my day all the brighter. You, in your knee-high boots, red…
to the bus driver at mumford
I was cold and waiting for over an hour for the bus. I asked you if you knew when it was coming. You asked how long i’d been waiting. Over an hour. So you called to check it out and found out it was still in Dartmouth. Thank you so much for your patience and…
Stop complaining
Haligonians! Stop complaining – about public transport, about snow clearing, about safety, about law and order! Get your asses to other cities of similar size in North America or Europe and count your blessings! —Happy in Halifax
Too cold
You universally acclaim that you are paramount in managing apartments and condos. Why do you compromise on the heating and leave your tenants and condo owners cold in winter? Turn up the heat will you! —Cold tenant
Killer Transport Truck Driver
To the transport trucker carrying blue tractor(s) who just pulled into my lane as though I wasn’t even there today at 4:30pm heading into Dartmouth…are you daft man? Was it that important to pass me in a fucking blizzard because I was only doing 80? Was the gravy getting cold on your deep fried donair?…
Shh-Cuddle
I love Shh-Cuddle. You have this beautiful way of quieting my mind and stilling my soul. Thank you. —Spider Monkey
Criollo Chocolate goes online
While working on filling a special someone’s stocking you may have noticed Criollo Chocolate (1869 Upper Water Street) is no longer tempting chocoholics with its decedancies from Historic Properties. Evelyn Staples’ shop and its hand-rolled truffles, chocolate stilettos (uh huh) and imported bars have cozied up at a new home: criollochocolates.ca. There you’ll find the…
Crowbar flies
“While it may seem like an unorthodox decision to phase out our flagship product, it wasn’t a decision that I made lightly or without a lot of thought,” says Breighan Hunsley, the brains and hands behind Crowbar Real Foods about discontinuing it’s namesake Crowbar. Hunsley says while the artisan energy bars—which are made with homemade…
Barista union organizer wins fight against Second Cup
Second Cup franchise owner Kathy Attis was in the wrong when she fired a barista last spring, the Nova Scotia Labour Board ruled last month. Attis expressed anti-union sentiment to her employees prior to a union vote and didn’t have a good reason to fire Ellen Graham the day before the vote, the board’s decision…
Icy Road Helpers
Thank you so much to the 4 men who lept to my assistance last night at the intersection of Maynard and Cornwallis. My car got stuck on a shelf of ice, despite the new winter tires and before I had time to try the gas twice I had one pedestrian offer to help push the…
Can’t celebrate christmas?
I’m sorry.. I want to make sure I heard that right. So because I’m not Christian, I should feel like an ass for putting up a tree, putting gifts beneath it, giving to charity, eating hot, gooey food and being with my family? Or is calling it ‘Christmas’ what’s eating you? What is it exactly…
Swim
This one goes out to the two ladies who told me to “move the fuck over to the other lane so we can swim together” just so happens that there was another lane available so that mixed with years of anger management classes I did so with out saying a word…to avoid conflict. Added bonus:…
365 Days
It’s been 365 days. Everyday, I think you and know I made the right decision to confront your two faced ass. You can blame me all you want, go ahead. But I’m the one that dodged a bullet. Thank God. Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over But had…
Forgiveness
I found it difficult to forgive you for the exceedingly shitty things you’ve done. I struggled to understand what I could have said or did to make you hate me so much and treat me so horribly. My life has taken an unexpected turn and while this is an anonymous post (and perhaps pointless), it…
Why do that to a kid you supposedly love?
We were married… still technically are… but not together anymore. Having our three year old son refer to himself with the last name of your present boyfriend, and have our son call him “Daddy” is not right on many levels. I understand that you recently have had a love child with the boyfriend and have…
An educational reprint
DEAR READERS: Sophia Wallace, the NYC-based conceptual artist behind the amazing Cliteracy project, was a guest on my podcast recently. (To hear our conversation, go to savagelovecast.com and look up episode 371.) During our chat, Wallace told me that a column I wrote years ago about the importance of the clit had a big impact…
Canada Post wants to eliminate my job as a letter carrier. Here’s why you should care
I’m a letter carrier and I love my job, but I hated today. Today was not only the first day of icy sidewalks to navigate, it was also the day that Canada Post announced that you would lose the service of getting your mail delivered to your door and that my job of delivering it…
Critics’ picks 2013: Music
DAVID DAHMS David Dahms AKA Odysseus Catfish Jenkins III, Big Titteh, Dubs, OCJ3, The Toothless Wonder, D-Double, DMN8R, One Dread and Potato Salad is a premature mic dropper and has been writing for The Coast since 2013. The Caravan LOCAL The Caravan (independent) “What Up Steve?” channelled frustrations with the federal government more than any other…
Critics’ picks 2013: Books
MICHAEL LAKE Michael has been writing for The Coast since July of 2013. He once took a photo of Michael Ondaatje and Jeffrey Eugenides and asked them to pose on a jungle gym. They said no. 1996 By Sara Peters (Anansi) The poems in this debut collection from Nova Scotian-cum-Torontonian are full of deftly observed…
Critics’ picks 2013: DVDs
Jacob Boon’s Top 10 Films You Should See Anyway They’re not all winners, but here are some picks from the man who has seen almost everything this year. They aren’t bad, they’re good-bad. Spring Breakers Directed by Harmony Korine (VVS) Harmony Korine’s candy-coated sexploitation assault would have been a cultural touchstone even if 2013 wasn’t…
Critically delicious
Welcome to our 2013 critics’ picks issue! We have chosen only the most contentiously awesome lists of the year in the fields of music, books and film. Haven’t made your own yet? Take one of ours. by Jacob Boon, David Dahms, Shannon Fay, Stephanie Johns, Carsten Knox, Michael Lake, Jeff Lawton, Zoë Migicovsky, Whitney Moran,…
Art scene of 2013
Lesandra Dodson’s The Trilogy Project Dodson collaborated with Mocean Dance and Live Art Dance to produce three pieces that merged original music, film, animation, performance art and dance in a uniquely layered and quirky experience the explored how far duets can go. Activist Ink at the MSVU Art Gallery Artists Emily Davidson, Dan O’Neill and…
Mother’s nature
Pizza is hard to review. It’s so intensely subjective, that—perhaps more so than with any other food—saying you like one better than another is basically just the opening strains of a Sondheim musical. Do you like Neapolitan more than Sicilian? (Finger snaps.) New York more than Chicago? (Heel turn. Kick.) It’s clear after a few…
Two Hours Traffic jam
“When we started out, we didn’t have any big goals,” says Liam Corcoran, vocalists and guitarist for Two Hours Traffic. “We were at UPEI and just wanted to write some songs and play our own music in Charlottetown.” He had no idea what the next decade would bring: “It all came as a surprise to…
Ever Green
Fans of Heather Green will be happy to hear that she’s gearing up to record another album with producer Dan Ledwell. But for now, they can continue riding high with her on the success of the 2012 album, Your Last War. With nominations for ECMAs and Music Nova Scotia Awards, this past year has left…
American Hustle
A 1970s con artist jam that runs in equal measures thrilling and tedious, David O. Russell’s American Hustle fails at greatness but lands squarely at good. The centrepiece performance is Amy Adams as Sydney, girlfriend to Christian Bale’s Irving, with whom she runs a number of scams, including art forgery and financial shakedowns. When Bradley…
Free Will Astrology
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sagittarius! (November 22-December 21) Many farms in California’s Tulare County grow produce for supermarket chains. Here’s the problem: Those big stores only want fruits and vegetable that look perfect. So if there are brown spots on the apples or if the zucchinis grow crooked or if the carrots get too big, they are…
Anchorman 2
The invention of 24-hour news brings Ron Burgundy and the gang to New York City in Anchorman 2, maybe you’ve heard of it? When GNN hire him on, Burgundy brings along Brick (Steve Carell), Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd) and Champ (David Koechner AKA Todd Packer); unfortunately their team is given the 2am-5am slot. In one…
By the numbers: cars hitting pedestrians
Because of the spate of pedestrian incidents—the Halifax Regional Police department has conducted an unprecedented review of all 74 pedestrian/vehicle accidents in HRM in 2013, up to the release of the report Tuesday. There was another such accident Wednesday morning, in Clayton Park. Interestingly, only one of the 74 incidents occurred on a clear day.…
