To Leonard
Sometimes I can’t sleep Sometimes I’m overwhelmed Sometimes I feel at peace behind desperate tears of joy Because I get to live in the same world I can hear your songs You live not far from here I’m happy to know you are an old man living a good life I know those words are…
Canadian Tire on Quinpool Road
To the two men working last night at Canadian Tire on Quinpool Road in the Automotive department. I know you had a long day, but you took the time to help my friend and I out with our concerns. Thank you again for your advice and time, you saved us from having an even longer…
Pregnant women are smug
So you accidentally got knocked up- congrats? You don’t have a big enough place, and you and your boy-toy don’t have real jobs. Good luck trying to raise that child. It’ll probably end up as messed up and dysfunctional as you. Being preggers doesn’t make you super woman. And it certainly doesn’t make you any…
What makes a Princess?
I’ve been trying to solve the same problem for more then a few years now. When people are always asking me “how many Princesses are there?” I always thought I had the answer, Seven. Snow White (who has other issues besides my Princess list, like in the book she’s twelve and in the movie she’s…
Sirius thief
Hey butthole! You stole my fiancé’s Sirius radio out of his car. He drives here 5 hours to see me whenever he can, and now he’ll have to drive 5 hours without music because of your greedy sticky fingers. Ps. You’re an even bigger idiot because: #1. You ripped the cable instead of unplugging it.…
Alehouse Amour
I’ve been waiting for the pleasure of dancing with you again..Pears smell delicious, as do you. —Jitter bug
To the young heartless woman
On Friday night, you walked by my friends and I as we tended to my very sick friend, in my arms, clearly in peril. You, leader of the pack, remarked “fun stuff” and laughed at all of our expenses with your equally despondent and insensitive friends. It was absolutely cruel, and as I balanced my…
Facebook birthday
Can I be mad that you didn’t wish me a “happy birthday” on Facebook? I mean, it doesn’t take long to type those two little words—which mean a lot. I see you writing it on everyone else’s Facebook wall, why not your girlfriend’s? —It’s the little things
Cheese cutters
To everyone who fucking farts disgusting cloudy farts at live shows, bars and any place where you’re in a contained, hot crowd: Seriously go fuck yourself. It’s really, supremely gross to be caught in someone’s wet hot garbage ass with nowhere to go and everyone wondering who did it. Just take two minutes and go…
This taxi work is not worth my time
I have been driving a taxi here for a few months now. What gives? It’s hard to take in $12 per hour then take out gas and office rent. They’re making more then me sitting here 12 to 14 hours a day. I thought people in Nova Scotia get minimum wage. Can someone tell me,…
Hit me with a flower
You are the very definition of a pretentious idiot. You go to NSCAD; you refuse to shave your armpits; you throw ‘isms around like they’re going extinct. The worst part is how “unique” and “anti-conformist” you think you are being. It’s been done a million times before you. There is nothing particularly special about your…
You put the “U” in fun
Just wanted to say out loud that I’m super into our secret, no-strings, no-commitment sexy times. It is exactly what I needed during this crazy, stressful, wild summer. You are so cool. —And thanks for rockin’ out and being sexy with me
To the tune of “Love This Town” (with apologies), by Joel Plaskett
A neighbour of mine, put out trash on Green Day, Then two bags appeared, in my driveway, It wasn’t next door, Just some stunned-ass clown, There’s a reason that I love this town. —Mr. Majestic
Saw you reading on the bus
You had earbuds in as you read Dirk Gently, as the bus sat stuck in traffic on Bayers Road. Pale-skinned, with dark hair that was longer on the right. I didn’t want to be rude, but you’re a beautiful person and I thought you should know. —Saturday morning’s upbeat
To the guy that rescued me and a friend on Argyle
Friday night, on Argyle, me and my friend were assaulted by a “man”. You and your friends noticed and came to our rescue and stayed to make sure we were ok. I’ve never seen such masculinity, and how upset you got, made me realize there is still very protctive people out there. I want to…
Your IQ got you fired, plain and simple
I don’t know if you can just bullshit your way through an interview or if your work-related references were just friends posing as your bosses, but somehow you convinced us you were a fit. We hired you but had to let you go after eight days. You just couldn’t get it. Eight days later, and…
Road Kill Rage
I have been ranting to my sister about this all summer. I commute to burnside every day for work and for 2-3 weeks there was a poor dead fox in the middle of the highway entering into burnside. This poor animal started as a visible creature that was hit until weeks later it’s been run…
Bicycle Blunders
A thousand thanks to all the kind Haligonian folk who stopped to help when my friend fell off her bike near Quinpool. If it weren’t for all y’all I’d probably have passed out right beside her! —Never Biking Again
Bikes and dogs
Dogs, bicycles. Dog parks, picking up after your dogs. Bicycle lanes, safety, drivers almost hitting. Off-leash, pick up after. Bikes.
Bed Bug Central
Brunswick Street high rises are the last place you want to move to in Halifax. When are the lousy, cheapskates owners of these buildings going to finally address this horrendous problem? —Horrified That Someone Lost $5k Because of Bed Bugs
Updated: Antique cross RETURNED to King’s
[Image-1] As reported by the CBC, the altar cross was returned to King’s chapel this week by a young man of about 19 years of age with a tote bag full of laundry. Amen. An “ancient and irreplaceable” altar cross is missing and presumed stolen from the University of King’s College chapel. According to a…
Response to your article on Skinny Dippers
This is a general response for your recent article about the skinny dippers. People need to keep in mind that all the trails leading to this sacred skinny dipping spot are used by, built by and maintained by Mountain Bikers. By all means, share the trails. Its already being used by hikers, berry pickers, dog…
Much Love for Dartmouth Dog Lovers
I wanted to say thank you so much to attendees of Switch Dartmouth for your kind words and open hearts for my rescue dog. I was worried his appearance and scars would cause a bit of negativity but your hearts are all so big. He had a great day being the family pal he can…
Hey, Coast
Your recent parking ticket story missed the mark. There were references to many statements about lack of complaints or no increase in number of complaints, but it appeared to be all anecdotal. That said, I know I have personally complained multiple times to the Mayor’s office, and it takes a lot to get me to…
Ride on
To the girl in the rad outfit longboarding in a Dartmouth parking lot this past Sunday – It was so inspiring to see another chica out there learning to ride the streets, helmet and all. I’ve been wobbling my way through the West End of Halifax for a couple of weeks now and glimpsing a…
Grocery Store Shoppers OINK OINK
I don’t care how you keep your own place at home, you filthy pigs, but when you are shopping in a grocery store, don’t root through the meat produce like a fucking pig snorting in a trough. Don’t mess up all the cans either and then walk away as if you are the fucking Queen…
That one guy you work with.
We all work with that one guy that we love to hate. He is always in the way, and does no work ever, but stands there making quirky comments. On his best days I could strangle him! but now that he’s not working for our company anymore, I oddly enough miss the outrageous dark humour…
To the tune of “Love this town” (with apologies) by Joel Plaskett
A bike got ripped off, our of our back yard, In the following search, found a stray hit by a car, That Cat, She’d pull through, They took her straight to the pound, There’s a reason that I hate this town… —Mr. Majestic
Three cheers for Prismatic – provocative, soul-touching and just plain fun
I think it’s safe to say that Prismatic Arts Festival was a runaway success. The buzz built on social media over the four days of the event, and a diverse crowd came out to a wealth of events that included play readings, fully-staged works, concerts, workshops, art installations and more. On Saturday, I took in…
psycho
you need to seak mental health, i think you are actually a pychopath, not kidding you are a very disturbed person and i don’t think you know it, like for real. you are a clueless psycho which is truely terrifying. —enough
Forward Looking City
LOL The politicians think ‘city wide free WiFi’ will show that Halifax is a ‘forward thinking city’… To bad that: 1) Free WiFi is only in the rich parts of town, thereby available to those who least need it. 2) The entire nation of Estonia has free WiFi and this would have been “Forward thinking”…
To the Guy Who helped me find my friend’s house
Thanks for the assistance, sorry if my dog startled you, I appreciate the help as I am severally directionally challenged. —Lost Dog Walker
In line at Sobeys
You complimented my glasses. I should have told you how great your cleavage was. Maybe we’ll pick up drunk snacks again sometime. —Cinnamon bun chips
marry little waitress
so glad new owners are treating you good. having a good heart to go along with that great walk melts me everytime.. —flattered dad
Art for Everyone at Prismatic
Francis Fares studied art for six years in Italy. The local developer, best known for his King’s Wharf Development on the Dartmouth waterfront, shared this tidbit at the opening reception for the Prismatic Arts Festival. He went on to say that he felt art, more so than buildings, revealed the true soul of a city.…
QUIET! jesus please…
I yearn for the day when the little sperm/egg combinations go back to school and the neighbourhood quiets the fuck down again. When I was young, the darkness meant QUIET THE FUCK DOWN YOU LITTLE ARSES! (directed toward the parents of you darling, little sperm/eggers) —Mr. Meaty
How Stupid
Halifax Traffic just reported: ‘Person on a motorized scooter / wheelchair attempting to cross the Mackay Bridge, Dartmouth bound. Traffic building up behind them.’ Now just how fucking stupid would you be to pull off this stunt??? —Shakes Head In Disbelief
Body 13 and Broken English Karaoke get the Prismatic party started
Hey you! Yes, you. Have you heard about the Prismatic Arts Festival? Have you seen the posters? Picked up a brochure? Read an article or two about it? I’m thinking that maybe, for whatever reason, a lot of you are just hearing about this four-day extravaganza of culturally diverse entertainment offerings (the majority of them FREE)…
Stupidiest Dog Bitch Ever
I have a friend who takes his dog to various parks, including Long Lake. I have told this friend repeatedly that dog owners are supposed to pick up their dog’s poo with a plastic bag and deposit it into a trash can or take it home to toss. But, no, he thinks it’s o.k. to…
Drive by the rules, douchebag
To the shithead who tried to pass a car in a two way street near Spring Garden then stuck his head out his window and yelled “IT’S A ONE WAY STREET” at ME after almost creating a head-on collision with my car: it’s a TWO WAY street, you butt. Maybe next time you want to…
Get on the street so you can get run over!
To the cyclist who passed me from behind within centimetres of me while I was walking on the Halifax Common pathway and said “move it asshole”, in case you didn’t hear me the first time it’s, “Fuck you motherfucker!” I hope you get run over by a fucking cement truck dickface, and I hope you…
Stupid manager
Just a big fuck you to my so called manager. Everyone thinks it. Fuck you. —SNS
Silly Goose
Who knew my jaded heart could care so quickly and unequivocally? You’re so fabulous when you get nervous around me. You think my armpits smell like pears…! I’ts been only a month since we’ve started seeing one another. You aren’t ready for love, but you show me such dedicated respect and care. Don’t worry, i’m…
Rocco’s closes after 21 years
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Halifax street style: Grafton Street
Name: Sam Hatfield Age:26 Spotted: Grafton Street Wearing: Sunglasses, Ray Ban; Lipstick, Heroine by M.A.C.; Top, Free People; Shorts, American Apparel If your clothes could talk, what would they say about you? She’s not afraid to take risks and doesn’t care what people think about her. What are you reading/watching/listening to right now? Right now…
Old and Weird go their own way
Allison Higgins, one-third of the band Old and Weird, has trailed off, unsure about whether or not to call her group’s latest release its first full-length. “It’s a full-length, which is our…well, we wouldn’t call Judy Cool a full length…” she continues, her eyes scanning the space for affirmation from her bandmates, Danika Vandersteen and…
Sleepless bites
Burrito Jax For a midnight snack that won’t sit like a brick in the pit of your stomach, grab a quesadilla or burrito (pictured) made by the masters. Whether chicken, steak, pork or meatless, these Mexican-inspired eats are packed full with fresh veggies, mouth-watering salsas and smashed beans, baby. As long as you don’t overdo…
Free Will Astrology
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Vigro (August 23-September 22) I’ve got three new vocabulary words for you. I need them to provide you with the proper oracle. First is the German term Schwellenangst. It refers to timidity or nervousness about crossing a threshold and heading into unknown territory. The second word is a new English term, “strikhedonia.” It…
Five ways to be an activist in Halifax
1 Nova Scotia Rainbow Action Project nsrap.ca You could have a great time promoting social equality with this colourful organization. “NSRAP advocates for equity for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities,” says Kate Shewan, chair of the board of directors. She suggests students take advantage of the online application to join NSRAP. “When signing…
Landline, ho!
Landline is one of the most unique theatre experiences at Prismatic. It uses technology to connect individuals in Dartmouth and Ottawa, and invites them to share their surroundings and stories. Dustin Harvey (Secret Theatre, Halifax) and Adrienne Wong (Neworld Theatre, Vancouver) talk a little about their creation. How/when did the creation process for Landlinehappen? DH:…
So you want to volunteer
Whether you’re from Halifax, or just settling in, one of the best ways to feel at home in a place is to participate in it. Halifax has a vibrant arts culture, a thriving LGBTQIA community and a significant number of people who are disadvantaged, struggling or oppressed on the daily. So let’s be real: If…
Letters to the editor, August 21, 2014
Still missing I am so grateful for your honesty (“The missing, the mourned,” Cover Story by Annie Margaret Clair, August 14). This is so important for people to understand. When we do not protect kids from useless emotions such as guilt and shame we create trauma that extends into the fibre of our identity. Speaking…
Revenge of the Nerds
To all the cool kids of high school: your days of bullying, wedgie-giving and illusions of grandeur are over. Yeah, that’s right. In the early days of university and college, you’ll start to realize that the loners, weirdos and nerds are actually way more interesting and cooler than you. It’s around this stage in life…
Vibe it out
The Vibrators is one of the staple ’77 British punk bands, and this Saturday, the much-shuffled lineup will play some classic punk nuggets at Gus’ Pub. Thirty-eight years is a long time to keep track of, so we’ve made a handy timeline so you’ll know what you’re talking about in between handfuls of party mix.…
State of the Unions
Dalhousie Student Union 6136 University Avenue, dsu.ca This past academic year was a hectic one for the Dalhousie Student Union. The DSU unanimously passed a motion calling for the board of governors to end investments in fossil fuels; it requested policy change so students can use a preferred name rather than a legal name on…
Kuato’s total recall
“People say the band’s name wrong all the time,” says Kuato’s Josh Pothier, “Koo-ate-oh, Koot-a-woo. I’ve even heard kumquat.” Pronounced koo-wah-toh, after a creepy little Martian from Total Recall, the now-five-piece experimental instrumental band has finally released its first LP, The Great Upheaval, on Pothier’s label Acadian Embassy, co-run by Trevor Murphy. On Friday at…
Plenty of ground left to cover this year at SMU
Changing an entire culture isn’t easy, but that’s the task Saint Mary’s University has taken on after the controversial events of last fall. That was when hundreds of new and returning SMU students gathered in public for a traditional frosh chant encouraging sexual assault. “Y is for your sister, O is for oh-so-tight, U is…
Too many anniversaries for Jason MacCullough
“Of all the cases I was involved in, Jason’s would be one of the ones that I would say is the most solvable,” says Tom Martin. Fifteen years have crawled by since the random murder of a Dartmouth teenager shocked the city. Investigators are as close now to an arrest as they always have been— not…
Going CRAM
For peace and quiet Halifax Central Library Later this fall the city will have the ultimate hangout spot for study nerds—the brand-new Halifax Central Library, with its two cafes, rooftop patio, creative and media space and plenty of comfy seating areas. The fourth floor will be the best place for cramming, with reading and study…
How (not) to be a student
Every year, professors encounter students who bend the rules, ignore classroom etiquette and straight-up just don’t give a shit. On top of looking like a moron, not treating university like a serious endeavour can have a negative impact on the overall academic experience, the learning of your peers and the opinions of your instructors (from…
Top of the class
From Pro Skateboards and Snowboards, 6451 Quinpool Road: Brixton “Archie” flannel shirt, $85 Brixton “Troubadour II” jacket, $185 Levi’s Skateboarding Collection 511s, $99 Burton wool snapback, $30 Herschel “Survey” backpack, $59 Redwing “Legacy” boots, $249 Model: Jason Wadley From Biscuit General Store, 1661 Argyle Street: Steve Madden peeptoe heel, $125 Dreamboat Lucy chain necklace, $49;…
Half-heard, chapter 2
A. was leaning over the sink when he turned up to Alex with that I-have-something-to-say tautness to his shoulders. “How was the weekend?” “Oh, it was fine. Just making it back now. Yours?” “Yeah, fine, fine, it was fine. Listen though Alex, can we talk about something?This morning I came into the kitchen,” A.’s face…
52 Pick-up: how to get a taste of Halifax
1. Fresh tofu at Chen Popa Seaport Farmers’ Market, 1209 Marginal Road Tofu comes in all sorts of varieties. But the freshly made—and inexpensive—stuff from the Taiwanese stall formerly named Biscuit Lips at the Seaport Market is in a class unto itself. It tastes of fresh soybeans, perfect for gentle sautés, simmered in soups and…
The ultimate crime
The Coast: How close were you ever to charges? Tom Martin: Very close, very close. Probably within 2005 we were very, very close. We had that task force going; Jason’s case is one of the main cases we were looking at. What happened? We weren’t close enough, and then the deputy chief shut it down.…
Follow Halifax
@hollabackhrm Tackling local street harassment and supporting those who face it on the daily @hfxtransit For all your bus bitching purposes @hfxgov The city’s official Twitter feed @SouthHouseHali Halifax’s sexual and gender resource centre @HilaryBeaumont Local reporter, Coast regular, asker of important questions @ScotiaPharmacy ALL DEALS, ALL CAPS @TwitCoast lol #humblebrag and while we’re at…
Strip down and cool off with the Halifax Skinny Dippers
There’s no better relief on a hot August afternoon than a cool dip in the lake, swimsuit not required. The small Halifax Skinny Dippers society thinks so, welcoming all to join in their bare-naked adventures. “We are so in denial that we are animals with body parts,” says Adrian, a burly engineer in his 30s…
All-ages stages
You’re 18, you’re new in town and there’s a good chance that you’ve heard of (and perhaps would like to participate in) Halifax’s bustling music scene. However, you have to be 19 to legally buy and consume alcohol in Nova Scotia, and strict provincial liquor laws cut off most of Halifax’s boozin’ live music venues…
Blind ambition
Vodka, bourbon, Scotch whisky, tequila, Canadian whisky, rum, gin and brandy. Those are the eight liquors that eight bartenders will be competing with at the Blind Barman competition at The Middle Spoon on August 25. Ciaran Doherty, one of the owners of The Middle Spoon and its downstairs speakeasy, Noble, is excited for the competition.…
Hot for bleachers
From hockey king Sidney Crosby to Olympic snowboarder Alex Duckworth, Nova Scotia boasts some of the world’s most incredible athletes. With hometown support, these all-stars start to shine in varsity and minor leagues: last season’s Halifax Moosehead could easily be next year’s Boston Bruin. Luckily for you, local varsity and national leagues offer student rates…
Eh440 has a tempo tantrum
It seems unlikely that an a cappella group from Toronto would be performing at an arts festival in Halifax because of a music festival in Iqaluit. But that’s exactly why Eh440 will be at Prismatic Festival of the Arts. Shahin Sayadi, artistic director of the Prismatic Festival, caught Eh440’s performance at the Alianait Arts Festival…
Laundry for dummies
You’ve crossed into the river Styx of textiles, a hall of tumultuous water-wheels where your clothing goes to be drowned and resurrected. You even have a pocket full of gold and silver coins to pay the ferryman. This whirling, whirring room is a kaleidoscope of cracks: cracked linoleum seat covers, cracked tile flooring and crackling…
In like a Lambic
Anyone who’s lived in Halifax for more than five minutes knows how hard it is to keep a secret here. But since 2011, the north end’s beloved Propeller Brewing Co. has been quietly concocting something special: a series of Lambics. The first, a traditional Framboise, launches this weekend. Created through the ancient process of spontaneous…
Haters to the left
There’s nothing like coming to a new city, setting down your bags, taking a deep breath and immediately starting to whine about the place. Unfortunately, that’s a sad reality about hosting big-city folk that Haligonian lifers put up with from time to time. Not always—some of my best friends are Ontarians—but sometimes. This goes for…
Keep me from objectifying
Q I’m a 20something genetic male. I thought for awhile that I might be trans, but I ended up deciding that while I hate my masculine features and like girl clothes and want to be “cute,” I have no desire to be female and don’t want to have breasts or a vagina. I also don’t…
Halifax art sampler
Halifax runs on art, and if you’ve made a commitment to spend a wonderful nine months of your life here (or maybe longer? FLIRTY WINK), make time to experience this city’s rich art history. You won’t regret it. There’s something for everyone here: avid collectors, people who “hate art” (by the way, you sound fun!),…
