To the tune of “Love this town” (with apologies) by Joel Plaskett

A bike got ripped off, our of our back yard,

In the following search, found a stray hit by a car,

That Cat, She’d pull through,

They took her straight to the pound,

There’s a reason that I hate this town… —Mr. Majestic

This article appears in Aug 21-27, 2014.