Sleep tight.
Or, at least, Todd Palin will.
Republican vice presidential hopeful Sarah Palin, in an interview with the Anchorage Daily News in May, said her hubby, Todd, "can go on just an hour or two of sleep a night. He says, 'I can sleep when I die.'"
Mr. Sarah Barracuda isn't the only one giving the middle finger to a good old-fashioned snooze.
Palin herself has shown the same lack of commitment to good rest in her return to work three days after the birth of her fifth child and youngest son, Trig. (Come on! When you've just shoved a lawn-bowling-ball out of your lady tunnel, you need a friggin' vacation, OK?)
So, please, somebody, pray, tell me: How is it that this woman---or anyone else---is bragging about being over-tired?
Our bodies tell us so physically and clearly the times we need to slow down. Research proves that good, adequate nighttime rest and well-timed afternoon catnaps make people feel happier, keep our IQs, cognitive skills and short-term memories at the levels they're supposed to be and boost our longevity. So, how---sweet cracker sandwiches how---is a complete disregard for the restorative power of sleep still considered a virtue? And a strategy---god help me---for proving one's worth in the political arena?
Blow it off. Go ahead. It's only sleep, you're thinking.
I'm thinking this is serious business.
I'll admit: I'm not sure what, if anything, vice presidents actually do. And I'm not questioning Palin's skills or experience. Nor am I interested in dogging her about her mommying---I think it's embarrassing there's still so much exoticism in the idea of women vying for high public office that people are pressing Palin to outline how, exactly, she'll raise a family and do the job. Palin might have it wrong on a woman's right to an abortion, but she was right when she said no men ever get asked about their ability to work and help raise their families: The question is out-and-out sexist.
But the plain fact is this: John McCain is, what? Like 137? Maybe 138 years old? He could go at any moment. And then BLAMMO! The Killa from Wasilla is the leader of the free world.
And that's someone I want to be well-rested and refreshed---not dog-eyed from lack of sleep and cranky on top of that because her future 18-year-old son-in-law just told her to shove it because firsthe had to take down his MySpace page, thenhe had to cancel his deer-jacking plans to go to that stupid Republican National Convention and nowhe's clued in to the fact that he's going to be a married dad long before he can legally swig a Budweiser---and things are moving so fast, and they're so out of his hands, that he'll be changing diapers before he changes his mind and gets out of this doomed-to-fail mess he's screwed hisway into.
Look, maybe you think I'm old-fashioned, for giving such big ups to sleep. Well as ifyou don't do it, too. Log on to Facebook and read a sampling of your friends', or your own, status updates. Blah Blah is heading to bed...Blah Blah is soooooo tired...Blah Blah can't wait to sleep in tomorrow...Blahey McBlah-Blah is too tired to Facebook anymore.
We love sleep. We're obsessed. We talk about needing sleep, wanting it, not getting enough of it, getting too much of it, sleeping in, sleeping badly, sleeping well. Every adult knowsthe feeling of being overtired and how it messes with our minds and our judgement and our ability to be coherent. We've all put shaving cream on our toothbrushes and our cellphones in the butter chiller and slept through the alarm. Getting too little restis epidemic.
And I'm not one for quick fixes, but there is one for the loathsome state of overtiredness and it's a fix-it for our sundry sleep-deprived screw-ups, too, from falling asleep at the wheel to forgetting your mom's birthday to accidentally agreeing the invasion of Pakistan is a good idea.
Eight hours at night and 20 minutesevery afternoon.
It's not rocket science. Sleep is good. Necessary. Like water. And air. And food.
Todd Palin may be planning to sleep when he's dead. But I'd rather his wife took a liking to rest. Depending on the election outcome, it might be for everyone's benefit.
