We didn't start the (garbage) fire

A lyrical tribute to the traumatic events of the past 12 months.

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click to enlarge

With apologies to the Piano Man.

Lorne Grabher, Jacques Dubé, Jamie Baillie walks away
Street check data, Jimmy Melvin, rockets in Canso
Robert Bjerke, Lady Drive Her, Sea Bridge floating on the water
Cheryl Blossom, Donkin mine, Whitman says “negro”
Saltwire buys out Transcon, women march on Washington
Moonlight beats out La La Land, Matthew, Bill and Jad are canned
David Hendsbee, Crosby, hashtag white fragility
Rolling Stone on Trudeau’s eyes, sidewalk closed: use other side

We know the world’s on fire
It’s stomach-churning and a bit concerning
We know that things are dire
But when it’s all gone
We will still tweet on, and on, and on, and on….

Cell phone outage, Dal HoCo, Lido’s Pop Explosion show
Measles outbreak, softwood lumber, Purcell’s Backlands bought
Integrated Mobility Plan, goodbye Oxford, donair cam
Tall Ships, Proud Boys, Dexter lobbies pot
Lyle Howe’s fate is sealed, Kayla Hounsell’s new book deal
No control for rising rent, “Clearly a drunk can consent”
IKEA and MeToo, Tracy Kitch’s Netflix queue
Work-to-rule, TERFs aren’t cool, Peter Mansbridge says he’s through

[chorus]

Liberals win election night, Dome’s new dress code starts a fight
Nova Centre opening, Explosion centenary
Bayers Lake hospital, Tasty Budds and fentanyl
Canada 150, and distracted boyfriend memes
Road train, abortion pills, council Chinese fire drill
Meghan Markle, Jagmeet Singh, Discovery Centre opening
Vincent Coleman ferry name, Bella Hadid’s sneaker game
Hurricanes, votes in Spain, Kevin O’Leary down in flames

[chorus]

Cindy Day leaves CTV, cannabis NSLC
Andrew Younger takes a hike, Lindell has a missing bike
Beyonce’s twins, Amazon, icebox plums and stadiums
Maudie’s story comes to life, thank god no more Herald strike
Energy East, Mister Police, memorial held for Dartmouth geese
Come From Away, Babadook’s gay, what the hell is covfefe?

[chorus]

Parking app, plastic straws, Leibovitz show still on pause
Northern Pulp, right whales, Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi fail
Persistent construction noise, crack a cold one with the boys
Fiona’s baby hippo smile, Plaskett’s trapped on Georges Isle
Pinkwashing, fake news, North Korea lights a fuse
Punching Nazis, ransomware, skinny dying polar bears
Baby in a Superstore, tax reform and glowing orbs
Rest in peace John and Gord, I can’t take it anymore...