Q There was a letter in your column recently that must have been painful for you to receive. I refer to the letter signed God Hates You. I’m sure you’re no stranger to hate mail, being an openly gay sex-advice columnist, but I hope you get fan mail too. But just in case: I wanted […]
Dan Savage
Posted inLifestyle
Welcome to Gaydom, boys
Q I just turned 20 and have been out of the closet for a year. A lesbian friend wants to hook me up with her gay friend, let’s call him Kyle, a cute, fit boy who runs track and does theatre. The issue is, he’s just 17 and starting his senior year in high school, […]
Posted inLifestyle
The case for legalizing sex work
Q Do you think post-op transgender people have any obligation to tell their lovers they were once the other sex? —On the Fence A Yes. Q I’m in my 40s and straight. My wife of nine years is no longer interested in sex. Period. I haven’t had a blowjob in about eight years, I can’t […]
Posted inLifestyle
Honesty is the best policy
Q I met my girlfriend three months ago on a social networking website and we texted each other non-stop. The pictures made her look attractive and in shape. Last weekend we met, and she didn’t look anything like her pictures, but we had sex twice. I’m about to start college and I do not want […]
Posted inLifestyle
Looking for a little confidence
Q This question comes from a point of real frustration. I'm a 26-year-old straight guy. Due to my being overweight, awkward and generally unable to attract women I'm actually interested in, I have only been sexually intimate with prostitutes and women of low calibre. I have never been able to sustain an erection during intercourse. […]
Posted inLifestyle
Be big about it, already
Q I’m a straight guy, and my first girl was very experienced—she was proud to say she’d been with at least 30 guys before me. When all was said and done, she said that I was the most well-endowed of any man she’d seen before. In all my subsequent experiences, the women I’ve been with […]
Posted inLifestyle
Keeping church and sex separate
Q You were recommended to me by an acquaintance familiar with your column and podcast. I am a 20-year-old male, and as such have certain desires that almost all 20-year-old males have (desires of a sexual nature). However, I am deeply religious. Religion has been for me a source of strength in my times of […]
Posted inLifestyle
I’m going to France!
Q: Here’s a hypothetical for you: You’ve been corresponding with a young man who lives in Paris. You know him through a friend in France, and your friend has vetted him. He has offered to pay more than half of your airfare so that you can visit him in Paris. You’ve spoken to him on […]
Posted inLifestyle
Being a selfish bitch is good!
Q: I’m a 25-year-old straight female. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for only a few months, but we fell in love fast. He is a caring person, and I want to make this last. However, he doesn’t turn me on. It has nothing to do with looks—he’s gorgeous—but rather with the fact that I am […]
Posted inLifestyle
Etiquette for threesomes
Q: I am a fairly successful man. I don’t make bank like Wall Streeters back in the day, but I haven’t been hungry since college. My girlfriend is younger. We met when she was in grad school. Like many recent grads, she’s not steadily employed, in debt and driving an unsafe car. So I support […]
Posted inLifestyle
When old flames start looking good
Q: I’m going to say up front that I know I am a complete and total asshole. I have been with my current boyfriend for about three years and we are living together. About a year ago, our relationship started to go bad when I found out I was pregnant and ended up having an […]
Posted inLifestyle
Shit happens
Q: I am a 28-year-old straight woman who has been dating a 24-year-old straight male for two months. Recently, I gave him oral sex while he was seated naked on my couch. The next day, as I went to sit on the couch, I noticed a brown stain on the cushion that looked highly suspicious. […]
