Truly the only World Cup coverage you need

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Sick blanket, brah

National Geographic muses on the possibility of a Kenyan elephant soccer team (sadly, not very likely), an elephant game called "play kick-back" and which famous players the elephants most resemble (Ronaldo, Zidane).

There's also a video, the elephants are all wearing colourful blanket pinneys, and this charming conclusion:

"Another little elephant rolls around on the ground, Italian-style, with its trunk wrapped around the ball.

Penalty!"

Who do I have to kick-back to get on the baby elephant soccer beat?