Stadium star
If only all of our entrepreneurial spirits were as motivated as Cameron Joudrey’s is. The 14-year-old earned his keep shovelling driveways, mowing lawns and selling baked goods to the neighbourhood until he decided to take his self-employment to the next level. After saving his pennies working at his dad Earl’s <a href="https://www.facebook.com/PortCityCoffeeCompany” target=”_blank”>Port City Coffee…
Long live the kings
Inside Menz and Mollyz (2182 Gottingen), the Halifax Drag Kings rehearse their choreography to “Liquid Dreams,” glowing under black light in preparation for Saturday’s anniversary show (8pm, Menz and Mollyz, $10). These boys aren’t holding anything back—grinding, thrusting and cheering each other on while they sip from their pony-neck beers. It looks like a damn…
Rousseau Chocolatier sweetens Hollis Street
Chocolate lovers rejoice! This Saturday, May 3, there will be a new chocolate shop opening its doors to satisfy our sweet-tooth needs and tempt us with the delicious scent of local artisan chocolates. You may remember seeing them at Halifax’s Historic Farmer’s Market on a Saturday but now they have a permanent spot at 1277…
Just looking at things and saying I love them
I love carpet…I love desk…I love lamp! -Brick Tamland
Laying here, dreaming of you
This time, our feelings are perfectly matched, I can see it when I look at you, when you held me that last time, my body shaking with fear and grief. My head laying on your chest, you snoring softly. Were you really asleep? Why did I wake you up? Actions and words are disjointed, because…
Let’s Get Ready To Rumble
Now that Shannon Park has been sold, and according to news sources the final decision on its status has been handed to city council, the need-for-a-stadium mouthbreathers will increase their push to further bankrupt us. We are already building a white elephant of a convention centre, now to complete the set—and to show the rest…
Driving
Where in the world are people getting their licenses from—like who is teaching them how to drive illegal lane changes stopping in the middle of a highway, U-turns and my favourite tailgating. The province wants to make extra money—have people are tested every four years, the results would be scary. As for seniors who drive,…
Ohms, Almond Eyes, Golden Voice
I love you, your blue eyes, the Carmel shade of your hair, I love your voice. You would sing often at get-togethers. You’ve always made me laugh, and it pains me to hear news of you now. You’ll never be mine. If you knew who I was, you’d be very surprised. Maybe not; I sensed…
Back Off Swim Team!
What’s with the swimming team at Centennial taking over ALL of the deep end and MOST of the shallow end lanes a full THIRTY MINUTES before lane swims end? It’s a piss-off to pay for a swim during the advertised times and then only be able to share two lanes with four other people while…
Here comes the Bedford Bridal Boutique
After a few years of wanting to open a consignment shop for local brides, Marlene Kenley finally said “I do”. “So many people that have dresses that are worn once, or not at all,” says Kenley, owner of Resto Urban Dining. “I had space here and always wanted to do it, so it just made…
Shame On Me
For a minute there I believed the words you wrote. Why? Because I trusted you. Unfortunately, my trust was misplaced. When it came down to following through on any of it, you didn’t. You bailed without a word (again). The difference this time is that I was more prepared for you to take the easy…
The Kid-Free Zone
Is there a Kid-Free Zone in this city? I mean, it really is a toss-up between the binge-drinking, the desperate attempts at cultural relevance, the wannabe thug culture and the screaming children running amok at the otherwise sober/”polite” venues this shithole city offers, but seriously: If you’re a parent, then parent your damned child. Otherwise,…
On A Sidewalk of Spring Garden
The apparition of this girl dressed in blue; A cabbage in her cold white hands. -I Wish I Had A Camera
WOOHOOO! Shut Up
Well at least it sounds like you guys had fun, whether it was at the expense of others or not. Living where you do you may notice the numerous houses and two apartment buildings on your very own block. Next time you’re standing in your backyard (which is still littered with garbage and bottles two…
Confused & Happy
To all the significant others in my life right now: thank you for the diverse ways in which you challenge me to be a better person. Each one of you inspires me in your own way. -Little One/Shortie/Topknot
I’m Not At All Surprised
I am actually relieved to know you are still the same reprehensible jerk. I tried to forgive and understand but all I can conclude is that you are (and always will be) a miserable person. -Happy For The Lucky Escape From You
Work
Why are we so upset with people coming from other parts of the world to work? There are people in this country who do not want to work in certain labour-intensive jobs, so if they don’t, give the job to someone who will? It’s really odd that people get upset about jobs that they don’t…
What Is The Proper Etiquette For The Effing Elevator?
What is the proper etiquette for the effing elevator? People in the am getting on the elevator seem to be clueless that others might be exiting the elevator. Usually I get a nasty look because they assume that I should let them on first. So, what is correct? I usually stand at the very front,…
Scummiest of the Scummy Scums
How can people simply treat others like garbage and have no remorse? I don’t understand. To the length of basically making them homeless too. Some may say karma, but I don’t want to wait around and hope you feel as awful as I do one day. I can only hope that one day you will…
To All The Women Who Still Flush Their Plastic Tampon Applicators:
I just don’t get you. Why would you flush your applicator? Are you also flushing your kids’ diapers? Or your cutlery and plates when you are done eating? And why do you still buy plastic applicators when there are cardboard ones available? The other day my two-year-old daughter put a “pretty” pink applicator in her…
You Need A Better Mirror
Ever wonder why the guys you want don’t want you back? Ever wonder why the type of guys who DO want you are just average-looking or less? You bitch about this all of the time and complain about still being single at 36. Yes, I get it, people typically choose mates of relatively equal levels…
You are special to me…
You are…intelligent, gentle, kind, compassionate, respectful, funny, extremely sexy, and truly the whole package. You have…eyes that see into my soul, a smile that lights up my spirit and a look that warms my heart. You make me feel…accepted, valued, special, sexy and overall genuinely happy. You truly are an amazing man! -Genuinely Hope She…
Hey look at me…I have multiple piercings
In the 80s a select few of us did this to freak out little old ladies and shake things up. Today, little old ladies have multiple piercings and and people who dress like little old ladies are more fun. -Is That A Piercing In Your Penis, or Are You Just Happy To Be The Centre…
Panhandlers
Hey panhandler who is dressed in better and hipper clothes than I am wearing: If I give you a loonie, would you give me your hand-me-downs after you grow out of them? I want to wear hip and expensive clothes too. -Peek-a-Hipster
cRap Music
I love my mother and the females in my life, but I like to think that their titties don’t flash like headlights with the high beams on. I know hard work will not guarantee riches but I do know it’s part of the real world. I appreciate the expression using the English language and not…
Confused and bewildered…
How could I be so wrong? I still see that look in your eyes, I still feel it. When you look at me, I still feel the love, I still see the want. How could I have been so wrong? Heartbroken and lost, I sit here bewildered by the difference between actions and words. Maybe…
ShopTalk visits Dartmouth
The City of Lakes’ personality sparkles brighter than its many swimming spots do, with creative new ventures and flavours popping up on the regular. Downtown Dartmouth alone has seen 15 new businesses in the past 20 months, and the communities within the community— whether Cole Harbour, Burnside, Woodside or Portland HIlls—are snowballing, too. It’s more…
Cogswell In For A Change
Ah, the Cogswell Interchange, AKA Halifax Logo Classic. Man do people hate that stretch of over/underpasses, foxhole-sized potholes and ugliness. (For other opinions see this.) But like spring’s first crocus pushing through the beaten, salty dirt—or Superman—a beacon of hope has finally appeared. On Monday, Ekistics Plan+Design will present its 116-page plan for what are…
Your Racist is Showing
I realize you are from a generation in which it was considered acceptable to call blacks “those people,” and to make disparaging comments about them, but this is 2014. Just because someone has a last name that you assume implies his race, it’s not OK to say “well of COURSE he hasn’t done (insert whatever…
Lost Love
Wish I was a butterfly With colourful wings soaring up high Gracefully singing into the air With such silent notes, songs never heard No one could guess where I will lead No one could notice the heart that weeps For such soundless voice only tears will show Fading as I may…they will never ever know…
Technology
I’m trying to play strip Literati with my girl on Yahoo and the game is down. Looks like warm PJs will stay on tonight. -Buzz
More Holes On My Street Than On A Slice of Swiss Cheese
These potholes are making me thirsty! -Costanza
Taking reactions
Imagine: You’re born and raised in Clayton Park by East Indian parents. By your own smarts, you get into university on a full scholarship. On your first day, your professor mispronounces your name and then your classmate asks where you’re from. You answer, “Clayton Park.” She leans in: “But where are you really from?” For…
Tool time
If you need a hammer, you buy one. But what if you could save money, and space, by borrowing one? A group is working to provide this service to the HRM with the Halifax Tool Library, opening in June in the north end. “Part of the beauty of the idea is the simplicity,” says Lars…
Thanks, and…
Maybe I didn’t say how much your message warmed my heart, how much it pounds, too. Not sure how well I dance, but I’ll certainly try, for you. -Sorta Might Too
Men…?
What happened to all the real men? You think growing a beard and dressing like a lumberjack makes you a real man? You’re all the same, probably followed every trend out there since you can remember and will continue to follow every trend because you lack any sense of self and the ability to generate…
I Am NOT A Telemarketer, YOU Are Not A Psychic
I am not a telemarketer. I am a quality control officer confirming your receipt of a delivery. I am not trying to sell you something—you already bought it. I am not allowed to leave you a message—what if the package you received was a surprise gift, or the contents were private? I call several hundred…
You’ll Understand
I love you, I love you, I love you. That’s all I want to say. -Until I Find a Way
Secret Friend Love
We deserve to be happy. Call me. -To Hell With Boundaries
Green
Gracious and gorgeous are you, Racy and rambunctious too. Edible down to the core, Exciting, you give me more. Naughty but nice, Mr. Green. -The Best Green I’ve Ever Seen!
I can’t believe my ears
I’ve got a lot of respect for the women who work in Halifax’s only skin joint—however I couldn’t believe my ears when the day manager (who’s always got this greasy appearance, like you’ve caught him in the middle of wanking) tore a strip out of one of the dancers for NOT taking clients from the…
Trash cans at bus stops aren’t so trashy!
So, I’m waiting for the #9 on the corner of Barrington and Inglis, and much to my disappointment, I see tons of trash pilled up on the side of the road. Where’s the garbage can? Shouldn’t there be a trash can at every bus stop? -Disgusted
Still not over me, huh?
Over a year ago, we were fuck buddies. I stopped contacting you when I started going out with this other girl. You flipped out at me because I wouldn’t return your calls/texts anymore. We were just fuck buddies, not a couple, so I felt telling you it was over wasn’t warranted. In fact, I wrote…
To all the lovers out there
I imagine there are people who scour the Love the Way We Love posts every week, hoping there might be one about them, reading ads over and over wondering if just maybe it’s about you. This love is for all of you: Just because you have not found that love you are looking for, remember…
Kali anastasi!
Thank you so much to the two wonderful girls who cheered me up so much on the saddest day of the year for me. You made me smile so much. I lost my piece of paper but I hope I see you soon and that you keep singing. -Keep Smiling
I’ll come running back to you…
It’s been over two years since I ruined what we had, and I still can’t forgive myself. I still think about you almost every day, I miss everything about our time together. Despite my best efforts to move on with my life and to let you move on with yours, I am still very much…
Crazy Sexxxy Cool
It’d be easy to think phone sex, like encyclopedias and proper spelling, faded rapidly from existence with the advent of the internet. After all, why pay for something you can easily get for free? “I thought the same thing,” says Halifax playwright Lee-Anne Poole, “but it’s surprisingly popular.” Poole would know. Her play Talk Sexxxy: the not so sexy…
Ian Black’s egalitarian comedy
“Is Betty White even still alive?” asks Halifax comic Ian Black, after admitting that his favourite ’90s show is The Golden Girls. “It must be like a Weekend at Bernie’s thing by now.” The Yuk Yuk’s comic, who’s also a regular at the comedy open mics at Bearly’s, Clay West and Gus’ Pub, is gearing…
Into The Woods
Alexis Cormier is adorned with jewels, a tiny row of diamonds under her right eye. It’s pouring rain outside—by all accounts a lazy Sunday afternoon—but inside Halifax Dance, The Woods came to throw down. Speaking before the weekly rehearsal that eats up four hours every Sunday, Cormier is lively, eager to share her encyclopedic knowledge…
Letters to the editor, April 24,2014
logos Branding irony Following the Savage Liberal provincial government’s forced municipal amalgamation on April Fool’s Day of 1996, I found myself appointed to the HRM logo committee and later to the coat of arms committee. The logo committee didn’t design the logo, but worked with several designers and filtered through their firms’ proposals. A couple…
Welcome to comedy town: Our Ha!ifax ComedyFest coverage
Celebrating 19 years of cracking wise, the Ha!ifax ComedyFest takes over stages and brick walls until April 26. We talk to seven clever comedians—Greg Proops, Orny Adams, Ian Black, Doug Mutai, Steph Tolev, Kaitlin Shuvera and DeAnne Smith—to help you fill your comedy dance card. Click here
Kaitlin Shuvera wants to challenge you
Kaitlin Shuvera has lived in Halifax for less than a year, but after (regularly) performing at three open mics a week, she’s ready to take on the Ha!ifax ComedyFest. Shuvera got into stand-up comedy because improv comedy wasn’t an option in Kelowna, where she used to live. A few friends said they wanted to start…
Looking into the camera
Q My son is 19, but due to some physical and social disabilities (mostly unseen), his emotional maturity level is closer to 14, though he is quite intelligent. After a lifetime of therapists, specialized education and other interventions, he is now a freshman in college far from home. His dad and I are paying for…
DeAnne Smith’s been everywhere, man
If you ever heard “Nerdy Love Song,” “No Worries” and the more recent “Consensual as Fuck,” you know DeAnne Smith can kill it on the vocal front. If you’ve seen her performances at Just for Laughs, Melbourne Comedy Gala, Edinburgh Fringe Festival, you know she can slay on stage talking about everything from looking like…
Free Will Astrology
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Tauras! (March 21-April 19) You remind me of a garden plot that has recently been plowed and rained on. Now the sun is out. The air is warm. Your dirt is wet and fertile. The feeling is a bit unsettled because the stuff that was below ground got churned up to the top.…
Steph Tolev is feeling your mustache vibe
When asked how she would describe her act, Toronto native Steph Tolev says she’s “high- energy, self-deprecating and kind of silly. I think I’m saying things that other women are feeling. Hearing a woman talking about her mustache on stage is kind of like, ‘Oh, it’s OK if we have one. We’re allowed to talk…
Orny Adams’ double life
Orny Adams is going to be back in town Saturday to rock the ComedyFest’s finale. After performing across Canada on the Just For Laughs comedy tour, Adams is ready to get on stage at the Cohn and deliver a set of what he calls pure “pounding comedy.” Although, he’s been doing standup for more than…
Doug Mutai’s chasing the dream
Doug Mutai’s Kenyan roots got him on his feet and running, but while he was moving forward he felt something stronger pulling him back. A deep nagging sense that the sport wasn’t propelling him to where he needed to be. “Running is something that runs in my family. So I tried it out in college…
Copious cats
Cats don’t hoard well. Earlier this month the SPCA seized 127 cats from a Dartmouth home–now it’s dealing with resulting cost and capacity problems. Coinciding with the upcoming breeding season and an overpopulation of cats provincially, the non-government funded charity needs homes soon for its furry refugees. Special constable Nancy Noel, sergeant field supervisor for…
Persistence and patience
“If there is something I learned from Raymond, it is persistence and patience,” says Darren Lewis. Last Thursday, April 17, marked two years since community and LGBTQ activist Raymond Taavel was brutally attacked in the morning hours on Gottingen Street. Andre Denny, a patient at the Forensic Hospital in Dartmouth, had been released for one…
Do it on the deck
This will be the year I finally stop being lazy and plant a garden. Sure we have no grass, the earth on our land is acidic and our property is ridden with large rocks, but my determination has got to count for something, right? Determination, and sun, water, earth and food will lead me to…
Beauty Slammers: Ladies of Wrestling calls all the singlet ladies
In 1985, hundreds of Hollywood actresses answered a casting call for a new TV entertainment program. Hoping for a big break, these beautiful women soon realized they were auditioning for an all-female wrestling show meant to rival the popularity of the then-WWF. Soon, Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling–a glitzy mix of sketch comedy, campy musicals and…
The Chris Martin Trio is Young and restless
How does an artist work for a decade creating a sound and a reputation that wins over audiences, and still find a way to grow and experiment? For Chris Martin, the secret seems to be juggling about a million different projects and never being afraid to try something new. “I’ve been playing music on the…
Ghostface forever
WU-TANG! WU-TANG! WU-TANG! Practice chucking those “W”s in the mirror. Ghostface Killah (AKA Ghostdini, Ironman, Tony Starks, Starky Love, Pretty Toney, The Wally Champ, The Wallabee Kingpin), a vital organ of the rap behemoth the Wu-Tang Clan, is coming to Halifax. Host for the evening and stalwart DJ R$ $mooth proclaims, “I’m excited, there’s nothing…
Jessie Brown’s Divine volume
Jessie Brown and The Black Divine are kicking off their second tour with high hopes and a harder sound. You can expect rock ‘n’ roll with a lot of soul—and something for the metalheads, too. Brown says the first album was a bit more “subdued,” and the sophomore Act II: Decisions promises to be a…
Anti-porn is anti-sex worker
Throughout the history of sex worker activism, those who support rights and safety for sex workers have had to push back against feminists who seek to make their careers off of sex workers’s backs. Anti-porn academic Gail Dines is in Halifax this week, speaking at a conference– Emergent Learning–that you, too, can attend for $300. The…
Greg Proops is The Smartest Man in the World
There are many times you’ve seen Greg Proops: a regular on Whose Line Is It Anyway?, a voice actor in films including Star Wars I: Phantom Menace, his podcast The Smartest Man in the World, a 2010 Casino show or the 2012 Ha!ifax ComedyFest Smartest Man taping. Now you can add 2014 to the list.…
