What happened to all the real men? You think growing a beard and dressing like a lumberjack makes you a real man? You’re all the same, probably followed every trend out there since you can remember and will continue to follow every trend because you lack any sense of self and the ability to generate your own thoughts. A real man doesn’t need to be told how to act, look, dress. Figure it out you fools! To quote from Beard Aficionado:
“The beard has turned into the padded bra of masculinity. Sure it looks sexy, but whatcha got under there? There’s a whole generation running around looking like lumberjacks, and most of you can’t change a fucking tire.”
Bearded fools! Grow a pair! -Lady Part
This article appears in Apr 24-30, 2014.


stop trying to dictate what is or is not “manly” you fucking idiot.
Oh fuck off, OB, ‘real men’ do whatever the hell they want — including growing beards and dressing up like lumberjacks.
I mean, you’re bitching about these men being conformists all while demanding they conform to YOUR idea of what makes a man, a man.
You’re a real winner, ob. A+
“…padded bra of masculinity.”
hahaha. love it.
If real men did what they wanted, I seriously doubt they would all look the same. But can we please just move on and accept that we’re a bunch of trendy shits?
Does this have to do with the new study that came out about beards and how women are starting to flock towards clean shaven men? It was in the Huffington Post last week I believe.
Or is this about hipsters again? It’s been a few days without a Hipster bitch. Good Dog Molly? Is that you?
jhey, give it up. none of the dozens of pathetic pseudo-anonymous bitches of yours trying to trash other guys is going to get you laid. have you no pride?
you are not behaving like a ‘real man’ when you behave like such a jealous little bitch.
“REAL MEN”
“You’re all the same, probably followed every trend out there since you can remember and will continue to follow every trend because you lack a sense of self and the ability to generate your own thoughts.” Lady Part
Three points only:
(1) The phrase “real men” is an example of what we call “philosophical essentialism,” the view that there exists certain men who exhibit those qualities on the basis of which such “real men” are to be distinguished from other men who fail, in varying degrees, to embody those relevant qualities. Indeed, in contemporary philosophical post-modernism such essentialism has been rejected in favour of the view that what it is to be a man is a social construct, that there exist no such meta-constructivist attributes which are, severally or jointly, definitive of what it is to be a “real man.” In other words, for the postmodernist, “real men” do not exist. It appears that Lady Part’s assumption is at the outset on philosophically shaky grounds. Further analysis is required. What attributes, for example, does Lady Part claim are definitive of such “real men”?
(2) Lady Part maintains that “real men” are not followers while other men follow every trend because they lack a sense of self. But what is to be understood by such a “sense of self?” Presupposed, of course, is the actual existence of such a self but this just drives the question back one step. What, in other words, is the “self?” Montrealman has engaged this question elsewhere and will not rehearse his analysis here. Suffice it to say that the self can be seen either as the passive construct of his social environment as with the postmodernists or, alternatively, an an active agent who does his own constructing. Clearly, the second avenue is the one
favoured by Lady Part but, as previously pointed out, the issue of infinite regress rears its ugly philosophical head. In other words, who is the “self” who does the constructing of the completed self and was he, in his turn, constructed by some more remote previous self? Clearly, any resolution of the issue remains in abeyance, a product of one’s antecedent philosophical views.
(3) In addition to lacking any sense of self, Lady Part maintains that “real men” possess the ability to generate their own thoughts. In philosophy, of course, this is called “ideogenesis,” the nature of the origin of one’s thoughts. Where do our thoughts come from? Where are my present thoughts coming from as I write this? The origins of one’s thoughts would appear to map on one’s sense of one’s “self,” whether a passive social construct as with the postmodernists or an active agent who constructs his own personality as with the essentialists. As with the issue of the nature of the self, however, the question of ideogenesis must similarly remain in abeyance, a product of one’s antecedent philosophical views.
In conclusion one must extend the indeterminate nature of the self and of ideogenesis to the existence of “real men” themselves. Do they exist or don’t they? The question necessarily must remain in abeyance. But, as with philosophy generally, the conceptual underbrush has been cleared away to reveal the difficulty of the question in its fullest and most rounded manifestation.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
GDM,
What? I have a beard! And now I’m never shaving it off!
Besides, the baby boomer trashing rants are much more interesting, wouldn’t you agree MM?
lol
Men. We have balls. And beards!
Some have chest hair, too.
And soup in our beards!
This bitch really doesn’t know what the hell she wants.
Kinda like the house of wacko I live under…
her guy’s in jail yet again and when he gets out, I’ll bet you every dollar to my name she’ll let him back in to toss her around and make her life hell yet again.
Most pointless post ever.
Deja vu?
I wear a beard to hide the ugliness
The fact that they grow beards means they already have a set OP.
Hoist, you don’t need to–silly man 😉
fuck off. I don’t come on here screaming about you not being a real woman for not shaving.
“REAL MEN” (2)
“You’re all the same, probably followed every trend out there since you can remember and will continue to follow every trend because you lack a sense of self and the ability to generate your own thoughts.” Lady Part
Three points only:
(1) Having mastered the contours of the essentialist/constructivist dilemma in respect to determining what might coherently be termed “real men,” further fruitful lines of analysis open up in respect to questions relating to the act of denotation itself. In other words, why do we give a particular name to an object rather than another name? For example, when does a bush become a tree? Is it simply a matter of size or are there intrinsic qualities definitive of each, and if so what are they? Then there are the borderline, counter-intuitive cases such as the tomato. Intuitively, we think of the tomato as a vegetable but those who claim to know insist that it is a fruit. On what grounds do they make the distinction? Then there those objects for which we have no name at all. Think of the left half of the wing of an airplane? What is its name? We have none. So naming suggests that we bring an object under a concept. In naming we “carve meaning” out of the chaos of extramental realty but the grounds on which we do so are elusive. So we can see the difficulty in naming complex objects like “real men.”
(2) We saw that Lady Part’s claim that “real men” possessed a “sense of self” presupposed the existence of such a self, whether actually existing as with the essentialists or constructed as with the postmodernists. However, her reference to a “sense of self” suggests more than this. It suggests that the self possesses reflective power, that in addition to being a self it can reflect on its own existence. Now this power of reflective thought is decisive for what it means to be human. We not only think but we can reflect on our own thought while thinking. That is what I am doing now, reflecting on my own thought as I write this. Man – well, “real men” anyway – is a reflectively self-conscious animal. To give voice to such reflective self-consciousness he has developed a symbol system called “language” in terms of which he conceptualizes his own existence in relation to both animate and inanimate extramental reality. Unlike the other animals he has transcended mere perception to attain a higher order of reality. That order is conceptual. “Real men” live in the realm of ideas.
(3) We saw that while Lady Part’s claim that “real men” possessed the ability to generate their own thoughts, such generation mapped onto the essentialist/constructivist divide. However, as a result of our gloss on the nature of reflective self-consciousness contained in the concept of a “sense of self,” we can now see that ideogenesis – the activity of generating our ideas – must also spring from that higher, conceptual order of reality, that realm of ideas itself. In the same way that man swims in language like the fish swims in the sea, so he inhabits a conceptual realm which, at one time, reconciles the essentialist dichotomy. In a word, “real men” are a combination of both. On the one hand they construct themselves and, on the other, become real men as a consequence. Lady Part was right.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
By the time I waded through montrealmans two epistles I’d grown a Duck Dynasty beard.
I don’t bother reading most of MM’s posts. He doesn’t seem to understand colloquial expressions – which lets face it are often used here – and wants to run them through his “philosophy” filter, which tends to remove all context. And he needs an editor.
But what is the meaning of editing? What is the meaning of meaning? We can all do this, but most of us would rather communicate substantial ideas rather than mentally masturbate over the meaning of every word, definition, statement, etc.
Its true, I just scroll on by, glancing once in awhile confirms I’m not missing anything.
” You ever notice how the many birds, with the false eyelashes, faces covered in make up , with dyed hair, & dressed up pretending to be younger than they really are … constantly complain there are no real men available any more ” – Andy Capp
OB , your bitch reminded me of a comic I seen published in the 70’s & I couldn’t resist ~:D
I didn’t realize how fucked up Andy Capp was when I was reading it as a wee lad, re-reading some of the pocketbooks now, just wow.
http://www.imageurlhost.com/images/9rd1dhm…
The Brits have always had a more phlegamatic attitude to things like alcoholism, gambling addiction ,spousal battery and living on the dole.
Speaking of The English:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Bls1KKDwmo
Very cool advert.
I’m glad this post happened because a few years back I had a memorable conversation with a woman and a good friend of mine who was gay and identified with being very “feminine” soaking up every word from this opinionated lady (because he hated men, I could tell) while I tried to demonstrate more perspectives on the subject. They went on with the same points that OP seems to be arguing.
Basically I was arguing that being an adult, or a grown person, meant having the direct potential to both take care of one’s self as well as someone else who needs it. Nothing to do with style.
I can’t see a single thing about someone’s motivations for how they dress having a single thing to with being an adult or “Man”. The real “man” is a largely marketed construct to send “Men” to war, sell real “Men” Marlboros; real “Men” have real cars, and guess what…. The Market machine even have the women brainwashed to want a man that they can identify as being “real man” based on this marketed social construct.
The original poster can only assume the motivations of someone to grow a beard and dress like a lumberjack based on possible motivations within herself. We are way ahead of ourselves’ here. I’m going to post a link that is what I think to be a VERY important documentary called the Century of Self.
Although we have become more of a “free thinking society” we have a long way to go.
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/the-century…
Ivan, I’m a Brit, and based on the selective racism raised in another posting, I should be deeply offended by your two articles and drag you off to the HR seeking millions, an insincere apology and ringside seats at your next basketball game. I’m willing to settle for a trailer in a certain location.
It’s a fair cop, Bazzer, but society is to blame. I love the Brits. The Great Britain of Sir Francis Drake, Douglas Bader , Maggie T.and D.C.I Gene Hunt, that is. The Great Britain that gave the world Trafalgar, the Spitfire, Monty Python , Doctor Who, Teesside Tintin and the novels of Bernard Cornwell.
The little britain that gave us Morrissey, George Galloway, Neil Kinnoch, Ken Livingstone and shariah patrolled zones – not so much.
i like beards
I like trimmed beards, bread lady.
I like roasts.
Pork or beef roasts, Jhey?
Both, of course.
But hard to beat a prime rib with 5 or 6 bones seared in a blazing hot cast iron – duck fat, of course – and finished in the oven to be served bleeding.
If I get to use my carbon steel 18″ carving Sabatier from the 1920s then it’s a bonus. Or even better, my 19th century carving carbon from Sheffield with antler handle and brass pommel with matching chef fork.
Best to serve on wooden board for effect.
Time to take the stones out and sharpen the blades! Maybe I’ll shave the beard with my chef knife…I’ve done it before.
We all have our own constructs of what a “real man” should be. Come to think of it, mine doesn’t revolve around any image;
1. Can build stuff, make things, grow food, etc. I get this from my grandfather. Had a garden by the age of 15, wood working by 17, etc.
2. Can cook. My dad cooks a lot. Food, it’s important!
3. Can think – I come from what I consider to be a very intelligent family. But I could be wrong : )
4. Can communicate honestly and effectively. It’s just important.
5. Has strong relationships.
6. Takes care of his health
7. Beats his own path, fuck the trends.
That’s my version, in a nutshell. But that could also describe a “real woman”, since these are all traits I look for, in their various forms.
And eats bloody roasts! lol.
^^ you forgot one
and doesn’t whinge and whine about what other men are wearing!
Yes, that too.
8. And doesn’t whinge and whine about what other men are wearing!
You guys are so much fun 😀 Great list jhey!
I love how my comment about a roast got a dislike. lol.
Must have been a hipster vegan.