Is there a Kid-Free Zone in this city? I mean, it really is a toss-up between the binge-drinking, the desperate attempts at cultural relevance, the wannabe thug culture and the screaming children running amok at the otherwise sober/”polite” venues this shithole city offers, but seriously: If you’re a parent, then parent your damned child. Otherwise, maybe I should be at a club or vandalizing the innumerable stalled “development” properties in this town like the others with nothing else to do have recourse to. It’s not even your tantrum-touting little fuckers that piss me off, it’s you inept parents doing fuck-all to raise your children, which is possibly what leads to them perpetuating the black hole atmosphere of this city, which otherwise inspires nothing and no one. Thanks for starting them off of that early on.
If the entire room/public space/establishment is glaring at you and your little heathen terrorizing the joint, and you just stand/sit there, hoping we’ll all look away as the little shit proceeds to holler, throw stuff and otherwise destroy the place—take a hint. When you spawn those shrieking creatures, you do realize that you have the obligation to, you know, actually parent them, right?
I don’t know if the families of today are just too timid to discipline/tend to their kids/observe general decorum and encourage it in their own kids, or that they hope that someone else will, but seriously, it would benefit each of (a) us who are forced to collectively endure your little monster and your own idiocy, as well as (b) you suffering the shame of letting your kid inflict its tantrum on us and even (c) the youngster itself, who otherwise learns by your ignorant example (since you’re clearly ignoring your kid yourself). If you’d just leave the room with your kid for a minute so the thing could chill out and you know, receive whatever affection or necessity you’re clearly depriving it of in the first place, since you’re depriving all of us of our damned peace and sanity!
-YesPleaseKeepKickingMySeat
This article appears in Apr 24-30, 2014.
You’re a strange, wierd, hateful little man 😀 I just picture you as a george costanza type, freaking out about a lot of other things that are non sensical.
“OMG a kid freaked out one day and it bothered ME!”
“I keep hanging out where kids are and once on a while one freaks out and it bothers ME, it must be those shitty parents”
Thank you for your fantastic advice on bringing up my children. In exchange, I’ve got some red hot tips on how to be an ignorant piece of shit. Oh wait, you already know.
Expecting to be able to go out in public and not have to deal with children is ridiculous. As human beings on this planet we have to deal with all types of people and things we don’t like and it’s our job to just suck it up because we have to.
That being said, I think when people have children they become blinded in a way and think that their little miracle is a miracle to everyone else on the planet, when the reality is very few people, in the grand scheme of things, give a shit about you or your kid. So when your kid is being a little monster and misbehaving or just being a fucking little asshole and you think it’s cute, no one else thinks it’s cute. No one loves your kid, or thinks your kid is as cute or special as you do. Sure lots of us have empathy for parents with terribly behaving kids, but often those kids behave badly because in part of how their parents raise them. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m reminded of the time a kid hit me twice on the bus for absolutely no fucking reason (he was sitting in back of me and just hauled off and smacked the back of my head twice) and his mother’s exact response was “oh there there, I know you’re tired.” (if I had’ve pulled that shit when I was this kid’s age, my ass would’ve been tanned darker than tan mom’s face AND I would’ve been shamed and forced to apologize).
And then there was that time this kid was hitting the back of my friend’s seat at a restaurant. My friend was too much of a pussy to say anything, so I said to the mother “could you please stop your son from kick my friend’s chair?” and the mother’s response was “well I’ll ask him ,but there’s no guarantee he’ll do it.” Seriously.
It’s parents like these who raise their kids to be entitled little shits who not only terrorize the general population as kids, but end up terrorizing the general population [in jail] as adults.
“I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them NOW!” – Homer Simpson.
I’m torn because although the OP is using the broad brushstrokes of hyperbole to make a point, that is what LTWWB is all about. And the “children” he refers to range in age from shitty-arsed toddler to passed out in the drunk tank. The next time you take public transit reflect on why Harper wants to build prisons. And no, it’s got fuck all to do with locking up people who smoke da ‘erb. When a generation of sociopaths reaches breeding age, then you’ve got problems, my friends.
Did I write this?
Another eloquent post from Uncle Vanya. ^^
if an adult would be kicked out of a restaurant for kicking someone’s seat, or throwing their fork in the air, or for yelling, why not a kid?
the point is the disruption of other patrons. if you kid is haywire, remove yourselves. and yes, when you have little kids your ability to do what you used to do as a kidless couple has changed. you will have about 10 years of this.
At what point does one forget they to were once a kid? A adult temper tantrum over children brings understanding and enlightment to their level of development.
I can’t fault the OB for this. We’ve all been there when a kid blows their top and the parent pats them on the head with a “there, there, lets get an ice cream to cheer you up Sweetie”. Poor behaviour rarely has consequences.
I think tazering a kid should be perfectly acceptable?
Unleashed: Yes, we were all children, once, but some of us had parents who guided us and ensured we learned what is and isn’t acceptable in society. That’s the JOB of a parent: to guide and teach their children how to behave and act. While you can’t stop a child from testing boundaries (that’s how they learn, after all), it’s up to parents to react appropriately to those tests. When the mother of the kid who kept hitting me didn’t tell their kid that it’s unacceptable to hit others, the kid learned it was ok (and will keep doing it). When the mother with the kid who kept hitting the back of the seat in the restaurant’s mother made the choice her kid’s, that kid learned that it was ok to behave like that. Do you see the problem we have with this? If they aren’t corrected, you’re going to have situations where the first kid ends up with assault charges as an adult because they figured it was OK to hit people and another kid who’s going to end up getting kicked out of restaurants as an adult because they figure they can do whatever they want.
Letting ‘kids be kids,’ is one thing, but by not guiding them and teaching them what’s acceptable behaviour and what’s not is doing a disservice to them and everyone else.
I really like kids that are well behaved and show signs of future intelligence. The other ones I can do without. Does this make me a bad person?
Rule # 1(or so) of Adult Life: Parents and Smokers get special privileges and the rest of us can suck it.
Meh. People are insecure these days, and desperately need attention. I don’t mind when kids do it, but seems to be a lot of “grown ups” desperately seeking attention in this town. But there’s always a few intelligent cats that don’t get caught up in that.
Maybe they just need a hug.
If you’re a bad person Cranky, I am too. *starts recharging ye ole tazer*
I suppose it depends on the age of the kids. If a baby crying or a 2-3 year old throwing a tantrum bothers the OP, tough shit. We were all that way once and there is no magical parenting technique for the terrible twos. Keep your post for if/when you reproduce to remind yourself of what an asshole you were.
You can’t always drop everything and leave with a child nor should you. The best thing for a tantrum is often to ignore it. Would they be a better parent in your book if they just bought the god damned chocolate bar?
Dirty looks from people because a toddler can’t talk quietly or requires a stroller to get through a store/event make me want to punch people in the face. Those same people would be ashamed to give those same looks to people in wheelchairs or the mentally challenged and most small kids aren’t too far from those categories when it comes to their mobility/intellect. That said, there are lots of shitty parents but kids being kids and being out and about are part of life.
Stay at home, fly first class, go out late, hang out at Point pleasant park. Good ways to avoid small kids, everything else is fair game.
I agree with your point about the babies/small toddlers (1-2 year olds and even some 3 year olds). Often, they haven’t developed the communication skills to express what they want or their frustrations in a way we can clearly understand what they want or need, so I can only imagine how upset that would make an adult, let alone a little kid who doesn’t understand why mommy or daddy or nanny or grampy or whatever other adult they’re trying to communicate with isn’t responding how they need them to.
On top of that, kids that young aren’t going to understand why they’re being punished. But when your kid reaches 4 or 5 or is a really smart 3 year old (3.5 year olds, perhaps), there’s no reason not to start teaching them right from wrong. I remember when I was three, and I was certainly taught manners and what was and wasn’t acceptable behaviour. I think my parents did a pretty fine job, at that — I’m always mindful to be polite and respectful, especially in public. Lessons my parents started teaching me when I was a toddler.
“fly first class, go out late, hang out at Point pleasant park. Good ways to avoid small kids.”
You would think so, wouldn’t you? But parents feel entitled to bring their children everywhere, including places they clearly don’t belong, and at an hour when the children would rather be home in bed. Expensive restaurants, movie theatres, live theatre productions… full of children whose parents don’t give a rat’s ass that other patrons have paid a lot of money for an experience that doesn’t include being disturbed by their children.
I’d rather see kids in those places than the sea of grey hair I usually witness. It’s hard to feel you’re living it up on a Saturday night when the average age is 70. The worst are the 55-75 crowd, after that imminent mortality mellows people. They block the aisles, oblivious to those around them, move like molasses and can’t hear how loud they’re talking or how crinkly their Wurther’s wrappers are. Pray to god nobody mentions Stephen Harper around them. At least there are fewer kids out and they’re small so you can push them out of the way if you have to. Sometimes kids say/do funny things in those venues, in contrast to the golden years cranky/lame/name dropping comments that make you cringe.
I don’t know many kids that would ever “rather be home in bed” but I’m imagining their parents paid just as much money as the other patrons to attend/eat. The people that usually bring their kids to those venues are often tourists and you can’t exactly leave your child in a hotel room while you go out for dinner/see a show. Who else would actually want to go out at night with their kids? Most have the courtesy to dine earlier but that’s when you run into the cranky seniors still feigning relevance.
I’ve never been bothered by kids at the movies, I don’t think I’ve ever seen any in the same theatre. Teens maybe but they’re there on their own.
I don’t mind people, including the shuffling seniors and squawking babies/kids – it’s all part of life’s fabric. To harbour such rage shows what a self-absorbed twat you are.
OB …move out here to the sticks.
Really Its not that I want you out here, its just that the chance of meeting you is slim to none.
So its a good place for a hater , just avoid my place grandkids, nephews/nieces are here all the time
In 7 kilometres of road I’m on , I believe there are around 20 homes… I’ve never actually counted because by the time you get from the start to my place , you’ve forgotten that you were counting up the number of houses & many are only driveways with no buildings visible