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Friday, February 20, 2015

Single because I talk like Elmer Fudd

Posted on Fri, Feb 20, 2015 at 4:00 AM

I have a speech impediment that causes me to pronounce certain words like the beloved cartoon character Elmer Fudd. You know, pronouncing R and L sounds like W ones. As fucked up as it is, I've been rejected a few times because of this! I went on two dates with a woman I met through my brother, then never heard from her again. Apparently she told my brother she couldn't get past the way I talked. Then recently, I met this girl from Match.com in person after emailing and texting her for a month. We hit it off online and she found me physically attractive. When she met me she had a smile from ear to ear and and let out an excited "hey!".... but then I spoke. When I asked her "How was youw day? This is my fowst time at this pwace" her smile went away. We hung out for 20 mins and the whole time I talked, she seemed disinterested. Then she left and I never heard from her again. She stopped texting me back and blocked me on Match. I even had another woman flat out tell me to "stop talking like that" when we were out on our first date. Three completely different women-- rejecting me because of something I can't control. I'm a good-looking, well employed, funny, friendly guy and yet because of this speech impediment I can't get a girl. What the fuck! —Be vewy vewy qwiet, you wasically wabbits

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