One weirdo to another
I am totally into anime/cartoons/manga and all associated with it, it’s great! But when my five-year-old niece can’t even google MLP without the first 10 pictures being pony sex, we have a problem. When two big greasy-looking men come into my store, point at a toy and loudly say, “Well this is no good, where…
The Perfect Neighbour
A door open to neighbourhood cats, a deck open for a visit over a cup of tea or a hot-crossed bun, a kitchen open to any bottle of wine. What more could one ask? Happy birthday to the best neighbour on the back lane. -The End of the Lane
Left-hand turns have the right of way?!
I may be wrong…and if i am wrong, someone please correct me: I was taught at both the drivers training courses as a teen, and all of my drivers’ training courses (mandatory for my line of work) as an adult, that when at an intersection, or even outside of one…that unless the opposing traffic to…
Saw You Again in the Bus – Beautiful Afternoon RHULAND STREET
I have previously posted about you. I saw you again! This time you were carrying a JanSport bag and wearing shades—still you looked beautiful. First time I saw you I thought maybe we will never meet again, but since this is the second time who knows there might be a third time. -Guy wearing white…
Smiling Shubie Cutie
To the smiling Shubie Park blonde cutie that made my day with her pearly whites: Never think that your smile doesn’t go a long way because I’m sure we are miles apart and I can honestly tell you that your pretty face made my day as you so perfectly smiled at me as I shyly…
Podium 2014’s feast of music
The Canadian choral community is descending on Halifax this week for a “feast of music”. Choral music conductors, music educators, accompanists, composers and singers of all ages are taking part in a biennial conference called Podium. They’re here for professional development, but a happy by-product is that there are almost two dozen opportunities for the…
LILTOAD roadkill adversion
When you’re driving in the city please please use proper turn signals. if you slam your brakes on abruptly after entering an intersection and turning sharply right into oncoming bicycles and pedestrians you’re doing it wrong. -I wish you put as much thought into your driving as your custom fucking license plate
Fairview whale
Please stop complaining and swearing and thumping in the apartment. You makes angels cry. I think you have a condition. -Tired of the Noise
I Don’t Have To Ask
Because I know. Your words are crystal. Forever, my <3 -Open Book
Bitch About A Bus Driver
I hadn’t said a word to you. And when I tossed in a loonie to cover the last 50 cents owed to the pot, you pointed out—quite snottily with a bit of stink eye—”You are not getting any change for that.” I did know what to say so I sarcastically said “OH MY GOODNESS!” I…
Love
I love you soy maki sweet potato. -Lover
“How about this weather eh?”
Yes it’s a crummy spring so far, yes winter felt long and it’s raining again…but enough about the fucking weather already! You’re all driving me nuts! -Bored of This Conversation
I appreciate your business, but c’mon
When did tossing a bill on the counter become an appropriate way to pay a cashier? Every day 95 percent of people I serve lay or throw their money on the counter, not even within arm’s reach of their cashier, and have me pick it off the counter for them. Is it just me as…
No sex for me
I haven’t gotten laid in over 17 years. I think I’m a virgin again. -Backed Upppp
Heya
I miss you and your goofy smile. -I Guess It’s Kind of Obvious
Dear pet cockatiel
Stop fuckin’ biting me! I feed you. Scratch yer head. Talk to you. Let you out of your cage (a lot). You generally have the run of the place when I’m home. I have cared for you for 13 years! You treat me like a piece of meat! Be good or I’ll get a kitty.…
A man with long hair and a beard makes me smile
I saw you on Friday night at a tavern’s karaoke night. I did a tequila shot with my girlfriend at the bar. You were sitting next to me and we said Hi to one another. I couldn’t help to stare at you all night, you are absolutely gorgeous! Unfortunately you were there with a blonde.…
Beggars can’t be choosers…literally
To the homeless man who asked me if I had any food, then refused the food because he had a gluten allergy and could not eat the sub I offered, but then had the balls to ask for money so he could get a $20 meal: OK there bud I was trying to help you…
WAR aka We Are Right
What is it with humans and war, in particular most politicians and a large amount of the population in the USA? They’ve got War on the brain there. They’ve got the war on drugs, the war on illiteracy, the war on poverty, the war on terrorism, not to mention all kinds of little wars all…
Grocery Store Encounter
I was waiting in line when I saw you with your yogurt. Work boots and a bike helmet, my favourite combo. I’m pretty sure the cashier was laughing at my struggle to keep from staring at you. Unfortunately, you switched to the express line and that was the last I saw of you. All I…
Fuel your wanderlust with Twenty Eight Feet: life on a little wooden boat
WARNING: Watching this film will make you want to sell your earthly belongings and get the heck out of dodge. I very nearly put in my notice and it’s not even 10am yet. Local director/cinematographer Kevin A. Fraser and local producer Melani Wood struck documentary gold when they met David Welsford (caution: his website is…
A new owner for Dharma Sushi
Dharma Sushi (1576 Argyle Street), a Japanese cuisine and sushi institution in Halifax, is getting a new owner. Ami Goto, who works at Dharma as a server and cook, is taking over from Hideki Yamamoto, on June 1st. Dharma first opened its doors on Argyle Street in 1995. Yamamoto, also known as Hide-san to staff…
Profane Apartments
Why do you have to put signs on your doors telling people to “Fuck off”? Is that the only language you illiterates understand? I can understand not wanting guests, but I would rather be polite about it than anything else. And why do we deal cigarettes in the building when this is a violation of…
You Don’t Know Details of My Sex Life!
I was quietly talking with my other co-worker, who happens to also be a good friend, and casually mentioned that the boyfriend and I have sex every day after she said she only gets it once a week. Overhearing us, you say to me in a snotty voice “No you don’t!” and walked away. Um,…
To the woman on the #32 bus in the morning
Who coughs without covering her mouth? Do you know how rude and inconsiderate that is? This is why I give you dirty looks. I don’t want your germs. Please learn to have some respect for others, as well as yourself, because I think this is one of the grossest things I have experienced in a…
The Season After Summer
We had some great chats, about TV shows and business trips. I know you had/have some stuff going on, but I’m still up for a message any time. You know where to find me online, or you could bump into me at lunch. -S
Movie Night in Ottawa
I’m looking for feedback on this annoying advertisement on TV. It starts by showing the Crest of the Governor General and then pans in on him, fake-eating popcorn, then he invites us schmucks to come and watch a movie under the stars at his residence. Being politically correct, they alternate nights—one night the movie is…
Too Ripped for a Girl?
To the guy at the gym who told me I was “too ripped for a girl”: Maybe telling you to go fuck yourself on the spot was unnecessarily harsh. I’ve had some time to think about it, and I realize that I should be gratified by your “respect for my dedication,” and thankful for your…
Damned Deer
Any of you hunters out there wanna come up to the Clayton Park area and shoot all these shitty deer? The filthy things are everywhere and stinking up the joint with their ticks and poop but people like them because they are “majestic” and “beautiful”—BLLLLLEEEEEECCCCCHHHHH! I’ve seen skunks with more majesty than these stupid things.…
Halifax Is Not A Shithole!
I have been reading enough about Halifax being such a “shithole.” When are we going to realize that we have the power to change this? I mean, OK, so we’re not Alberta or British Columbia or somewhere “important” but we also can do better than just wallowing in how we are such a have-not anyway.…
Open City 3.0: Eight things I want to eat
Tomorrow marks round three of I Love Local’s annual Open City festivities and my god there’s a lot of fun and flavour to choose from. People are making spread sheets to organize how in heaven’s name they can see, taste, feel it all! It’s intense, and very necessary. With a list of 143 happenings it’ll…
Q&A with the Impressment Gang
The Impressment Gang new not-for-profit literary magazine published quarterly. Run by Pearl Chan, Cassie Guinan and Clay Everest, the debut issue features work from Heather Jessup, Geordie Miller, Jaime Forsythe, Josh Salter, Maya Stewart Pathak, Andrew Patterson, Charlotte Bondy, Ryan Allen, Sheryda Warrener, David Huebert and Carole Glasser Langille. The issue launches Saturday, May 10…
Tiny Vaudevilles
Ben Stone tickles the ivories Zuppa Theatre’s Tiny Vaudevilles is deceptively simple and definitely delightful. It plays on the idea of “vaudeville” by incorporating two of Chekhov’s funny and astute one-act farces (called vaudevilles) into the vaudeville variety-show format . This gives the talented trio of Stewart Legere, Susan Leblanc-Crawford and Ben Stone ample opportunity…
ShopTalk visits the Hydrostone
If you judge this book by its cover, the Hydrostone Market is a page- turner. Steeped in history and soaked in style it looks good, yes—so good that when Mother’s Pizza went up, it used the original row of shops for design inspiration—but this wee shopping district feels good, too. The tight-knit strip of boutiques,…
Meds alert
Charlottetown’s own The Meds bring their toe-tapping indie pop-rock to Halifax when they celebrate the release of their debut album South America. Lead vocalist Kyle Drake and backing vocalist Iain McCarvill dialogued over a bad cell phone connection at a roadside pit stop en route to a show in Waterloo. The band tours almost constantly,…
A quick hit parade
Q I’m a 26-year-old lesbian 18 months out of an eight-year relationship. She was my first girlfriend. I do not want to be in another monogamous relationship. I want to have a couple of sex buddies or, preferably, a couple of friends with benefits. In the last 18 months, I have had three FWB “arrangements”…
Getting SappyForever
Meet the product of the little fundraiser that could—and did. SappyForever is a 252-page, full-colour retrospective bursting with content. This hardcover archive features photos, essays and memories from eight years of SappyFest, the annual independent music festival in Sackville, New Brunswick. The coffee table tome preserves a visual and textual history of a party that…
Re:union
For all intents and purposes, humour is unexplainable. And so, when it comes to making art, it’s a dangerous tool. Though if one can learn to manipulate it well, humour can unlock all sorts of impossible spaces. It can function as a key to topics, feelings and ideas that remain otherwise beyond limits. So it…
Be Safe I Love You
In Be Safe I Love You, Lauren returns from duty in Iraq in time to spend the holidays with her family. From rural New York and a talented singer, she enlisted to provide for her family, especially her younger brother Danny. Despite calls from an army psychologist and hints from Lauren’s behaviour, nobody wants to…
Junk jeopardy
Even the most conscientious environmentalist can be stumped by a broken microwave or tube TV. Since your upcoming Saturdays are slotted for spring cleaning, here’s the low-down on disposing of confusing junk—the stuff that curbs your curbside routine. On top of daily garbage, recycling and green bin materials, HRM requires the separation of household hazardous…
Can’t and Won’t
If you’re into Lydia Davis, you’ll find exactly what you’d expect to in Can’t and Won’t, her first collection since Collected Stories was published five years ago. If you’re not, here’s what you need to know: her stories aren’t really stories, they’re snippets; usually have no characters beyond the “I” (the speaker); the majority are…
The pain below
Recently, I stopped into a coffee shop on Quinpool Road for a latte. I asked to speak to the owner to request permission to post a recruitment flyer for two new research studies. The top of the flyer says “Do you (or your partner) experience pain during sex?” The owner responded that “those kinds of…
The Selfish Giant
Morals are hard-won in this haunting coming-of-age story from director Clio Barnard. The Selfish Giant is inspired by an Oscar Wilde fairytale of the same name. But Wilde’s tale is a happy fable of friendship, whereas Barnard’s film is a grey example of social realism that pokes about in the dim corners where friendship sometimes…
Going to the dogs
These dogs don’t need anyone to throw them a bone. Their laudable lineage and dedicated trainers make becoming champions feel like a walk in the park. The Dartmouth Kennel Club is hosting their All Breed Shows and Trials this Saturday and Sunday, May 10 and 11, at Cole Harbour Place. All are welcome to watch…
Escape from Tomorrow
Writer-director Randy Moore challenges convention in his feature film debut. Covertly filmed on hand-held cameras at Disney World and Disney Land, Escape From Tomorrow is an epic example of guerrilla film-making. Escape From Tomorrow begins as a dreamscape at the wonderful world of Disney and slips into a nightmarish romp through the uncanny and absurd. Jim White…
Training the 99 pawcent
If you’re a dog owner, chances are you’ve spent some devoted time training your pup. Susan Jordan, a professional dog trainer of 14 years, says she’s trained over 100 dogs of all different breeds and ages. Jordan dedicates hours a day to helping owners not only educate their dogs, but understand what it means to…
Various Artists
This tribute hones in on Dylan’s less-acclaimed output, including the overtly religious Saved album and dubious long-winded tunes like “Brownsville Girl.” The latter benefits from editing, extra beats and a soulful rendering by comedian Reggie Watts. Craig Finn of The Hold Steady and Glen Hansard from the film Once are two more artists who luxuriate…
Free Will Astrology
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Taurus! (March 21-April 19) Free jazz is a type of music that emerged in the 1950s as a rebellion against jazz conventions. Its meter is fluid and its harmonies unfamiliar, sometimes atonal. Song structures may be experimental and unpredictable. A key element in free jazz is collective improvisation—riffing done not just by a…
tUnE-yArDs
The pop music Merrill Garbus makes as tUne-yArDs mutates many of the catchiest elements of contemporary top 40, tainting them with twisted polyrhythms, maniacal shout-outs, inventive playing and kitchen-sink lyrical content. On Nikki Nack, her third LP, Garbus retains her reputation as an auteur who is as irresistible as she is annoying. The high-gloss production…
The Sidney Crosby of dog handlers
Colton O’Shea wears a suit and tie when he’s working, and the sort of business shoes that are hardly fitting for the cardio his job entails. He’d never show discomfort though, especially since his comrades all wear collars too. As polished and unflappable as an English butler, he ensures his well-bred charges are perfectly poised…
Vogue Dots record review
This synth-pop duo has been cooking up something dark, delicious and beautiful in its Halifax studio. The beats are more dreamy than dancey, and its smooth synths create a lush cloud for singer Babette Howard to glide over. The duo’s focus on atmosphere— sampling bells, ocean sounds, even country guitar on “Turns and Turns”—creates an…
Miss Caledonia
Peggy Ann Douglas—tomboy, farm girl and dreamer—has a plan to escape her dreary rural existence. Against the wishes of her dour father and with the help of her resourceful mother, she’ll climb to the pinnacle of the small town pageant world with the hopes of opening doors to the wide world beyond. Melody A. Johnson’s…
Mind into Matter: Bodies and Space gets into design from all levels
In the age of the internet when so many of us barely leave our screens, it’s easy to forget that we are embodied. But we take up space, and the question of how our bodies engage with the spaces they inhabit is at the heart of this week’s Mind into Matter: Bodies and Space symposium…
Piez again
Tucked into a corner of the stripmall complex on Portland Hills that once held Que Tal—a new restaurant called Absolutely Delish Cuisine recently opened in that space—Piez Bistro specializes in pizzas and other savoury pies. It’s a tiny restaurant. A handful of tables fills the corner around the counter, while shelves stacked with jars and…
Reconsidering Cogswell
Halifax is about to press redo on a major piece of downtown infrastructure. Mounting repair costs along with a fresh city council are edging the city closer to the redevelopment of the Cogswell Interchange. Finished in 1973 and considered progressive by urban renewal advocates, few would argue the concrete dinosaur has stood the test of…
