Profane Apartments

THE LANGUAGE OF ILLITERATES

“Why do you have to put signs on your door telling people to ‘Fuck off”? Is that the only language you illiterates understand?” Alasdair Fraser

“illiterate, a & n. Ignorant of letters; unlearned; unable to read.” The Concise Oxford Dictionary

The question before us is whether or not the usage of “fuck” in its various combinations and permutations is indeed emblematic of illiteracy, of those who are ignorant of letters, unlearned or unable to read. Or, on the other hand, can the usage of “fuck,” given certain preconditions, claim a degree of acceptability if not of respectability or is the taboo universal, permitting of no exceptions? The question, of course, touches upon language use in its various manifestations. A first step involves spotlighting those preconditions upon which “fuck” might claim a degree of acceptability.

A firm line must be immediately drawn between the polite discourse of the lettered classes on the one hand and the vulgar vernacular or demotic discourse of the unlearned classes on the other. While the usage of “fuck” might be employed on rare occasions for shock value – the “F-bomb” as it is commonly known – in the polite discourse of the former, there can be no question that its common usage is restricted to the latter. In addition, then, to its being a marker of reduced literacy however interpreted, the usage of “fuck” is also a definite class marker.

There are those, of course, who claim that class at least in North America does not exist but we all know better. Unlike England, it is not so much a matter of accent but rather of grammatical language use and grammatical language use – or rather the absence of grammatical language use – is flagged by the use of “fuck.” In other words, the use of “fuck” gestures toward inarticulacy, the inability to communicate without this linguistic crutch. It is only by the grace of the frequent usage of “fuck” that the lower orders can, if only sporadically, attempt to give voice to their inchoate ideas.

One speaks of such “inchoate ideas” but this mistakenly presupposes that the members of the lower orders have any ideas at all where, by “ideas” one is to understand the outcome of some feeble attempts at reflection, the product of even a minimal activity of conceptualization. Indeed, there is powerful intuitive evidence – not yet supported by empirical research – that there exists a strong positive correlation between the use of “fuck” and stupidity. It is a positive correlation since the frequency of such usage and the degree of such stupidity rise together
in tandem.

Of course, embodying as it does the voice of the Halifax Underclass, the present site constitutes a classic example of the frequency of the usage of “fuck” and the degree of stupidity rising together in tandem. Indeed, it might be seen as a laboratory where the discourse of the lower orders might be observed and measured under sterile conditions which prevent contamination. While a frequency analysis has yet to be undertaken, there can be little doubt of the outcome. That voice, stricken with unspeakable halitosis, sounds with a regrettable but unmistakable clarity in the ear of those not of the lower orders, of those who are not members of the Halifax Underclass. It is among the latter, of course, which the usage of “fuck” has acquired general acceptability.

Now, will you please just fuck off, you fucking illiterates?

A pleasure as always.

Cheerio!