Jul 2-8, 2015

Jul 2-8, 2015 / Vol. 23 / No. 5
Subscribe to our newsletter Be the first to know about breaking news, articles, and updates. Subscribe today “I want to help people grow and give people confidence to be who they want to be,” says Erin “Real Eyez” Dorrington in our cover story. The rapper, whose upcoming album is called The Female King, is an […]

Dirty little liars

[Image-1] So you think you can hide behind the walls of your hospital do you? You think you can slander me to clients and staff or tell my former friends lies and I’m just going to roll over? I don’t think so. You and your partner in crime, the two of you deliberately set about…

Slumlord

I was a dedicated super in your apartment and you chose to fire me rather than deal with the truth…you are a slum lord. I guess it’s easy to be a prick when you hate Canadians…then again you also hate the Chinese and how did you put it…those women who are so ugly they have…

cold love

[Image-1] Hey, ice cream sandwiches. I love ya. I think you’re delicious. You’re better than a bowl of ice cream, a sandwich, marbles and the flute. I hope somewhere out there, an ice cream sandwich is reading this…. Yes, I know that’s impossible. Ice cream sandwiches don’t read, unless it’s something important. —human #79,553,753,126*

Regret

“I ran out of white dove feathers/to soak up the hot piss that comes from your mouth every time you address me” – F.A. on Regret, perfectly summing up that moment when the bubble bursts. —Should’a known better

Another crosswalk bitch

The corner of Willett and Lacewood…..3 times in the 2 years I have lived in this area, I have come thisclose to getting smacked….once, while I’m crossing, a driver in the right lane turning on to Willett, is looking into the Sobeys parking lot on the left, yakking to her friend in the car and…

You Still Believe In That Nonsense?

[Image-1] Please stop, you kneeling nitwit, with the tedious FB posts about God and how he could do without us but we couldn’t do without him. Utter, total horseshit on a hot shingle. I can’t believe you’re as old as you are and still believe in that foul tripe your Church drips out, especially in…

Look at me! Me, me, me!

I was about one foot short of smoking two girls down in a crosswalk the other day. Scared the complete shit out of me. Here is my bitch…right or not, it’s mine. Crosswalks are for walking, not running across. If there are overhead flashers, it’s probably for a reason—poor visibility to the crosswalk due to…

The recent Dalhousie dentistry report

[Image-1] I was looking and entering comments on the CBC story about the Dal dentistry scandal thing. A number of other people’s comments were taken off because they were too misogynist, but far too many were left on. Not that I condone censorship. I would like people not to feel censored so their CRAZY FUCKING…

COCAINE BITCHES

Listen up losers, I know you are desperate to be cool and party all night long. But every time you snort cocaine you become an even bigger loser than the sorry ass loser that lead you to use in the first place. And every time you convince yourself that “It’s okay to do cocaine once…

Big fat asses

Click here to get your bikini beach butt! Order Yoga Bootie Ballet. Get bootylicious.  Kardashian sister’s butt injections. My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hun. Squat, squat squat your way to a phat ass. Why is everyone so obsessed with asses??? Don’t you know that’s where the shit comes out??? —I Forgot To Wipe, Is That…

Boating Fail

[Image-1] I saw your team rowing out of sync, and as we passed I called out that you guys were doing great, and then I heard someone say (about my comment) “I don’t think she meant it.” You’re right. I said it kind of mockingly. And while my team cheered you on, I realized with…

Saving deer on Canada Day

[Image-1] Sitting on our Dartmouth waterfront deck on Canada Day, we noticed three deer swimming with determination for Halifax. Feeling sad, thinking for certain they wouldn’t make it with nowhere to haul out on the other side, I felt a glimmer of hope when I saw your boat approaching them. (I was also hoping you…

Wednesday’s 10 things you need to know

[Image-1] 1 Huzzah! Evolve is saved! The music festival was facing cancellation yesterday after its liability insurance was pulled for wanting to offer free drug-testing to attendees. After what CBC says was a flurry of calls and an amazing outpouring of support, festival producer Jonas Colter has found a new insurer (belonging to the family…

Attica is 20 years young

This weekend marks two decades in business for downtown’s furniture and lifestyle mainstay Attica Furnishings (1566 Barrington Street), which NSCAD grads Suzanne Saul and Christopher Joyce opened to Halifax shoppers in ’95. The now four-storey home style store has seen a lot of changes—not just on Barrington Street but in the way people shop—and despite…

A hard man is good to find!

Is is just me or is there something in the summer air that makes you horny as hell. Maybe it’s hormonal, or something. But I just want to fuck! Why can’t I find a hot guy with big muscles and a big dick who knows how to fuck? Why is that so hard to find?…

Summit Archway on the waterfront

Since when does a private establishment get the right to board up public property, which we taxpayers paid for to host the Summit, a few years ago, and which we all use, as an entrance to the waterfront? Also to locate portable toilets on either side of the entrance stinks. —mariposa

“Cyclist”

[Image-1] You are riding on the sidewalk of a street WITH A BIKE LANE HELLOOO! When I politely asked you to bike on the street, your smug little face farted up “no” as you road off. Ok, if you’re too much of a soft little nut-sack to bike on the streets of Halifax LAWFULLY like…

Far Away Friend

[Image-1] Why do you make me so crazy? I can’t control my body’s excitement at seeing you. It makes me think about you a lot. And I don’t know if you’ve ever given me a second thought. —Wishing we’d had more time

Baby guinea pigs dumped in Point Pleasant Park

Watch where you step, Point Pleasant Park-goers! A lesson learned to Jennifer Ferguson, who was walking her dogs through the park on June 20 when she noticed a man crouched by the side of the road. He appeared to be letting what she thought were his rabbits have a romp in the grass. 
 When…

Tuesday’s 7 things you need to know

1The lawyer representing disgraced Dalhousie dental student Ryan Millet claims the university advised Millet to lie about being suspended when filling out licensing applications. That’s just one of the charges in a lengthy letter to Dal president Richard Florizone that lawyer Bruce T. MacIntosh sent to media yesterday afternoon. According to the release, Millet is…

Have you tried the Jamaican food truck yet?

He’s a plumber by trade, but Ludlow Lee has major skills in the kitchen. “It’s in his blood,” says Michelle Lee of her husband/business partner’s Jamaican home-cooking. “Most of his recipes are from his mother.” Ludlow moved from Jamaica to Canada back in 2010 and married Michelle soon after, but it was just over a…

Fireworks a day early

WTF?!?!?!?! Who decided to corrupt and pervert our nation’s birthday by having the fireworks on the night before Canada Day. New Flash! School is already out. Canada Night is not a school night. —pissed off

Halifax, I Love You But You’re Bringing Me Down

[Image-1] Why is it so hard to find work in this city, and why is the cost of living so high? It is WAY TOO EXPENSIVE for being a small city with so little to offer. I’m a born and bred Nova Scotian, I’ve lived here my whole life, but I feel trapped. I can’t…

That BMW belongs to WHO?!

That BMW that crashed into two vehicles and ruined the front of that small business owners shop on Quinpool Road has yet to be charged or even publicly identified. The police know who owns it but have yet to make an arrest for this very potentially dangerous hit and run, even after two weeks. So,…

If I Were Your Woman

[Image-1] Every day I tell myself this is the day I say hi and I never do. I don’t know why I am making this so complicated. I only have this weird internal dialogue when I think of you or am in your vicinity. I guess I am just insecure and fear rejection…..not very original…

The Big Rift

Unfortunately – and not surprisingly – The Big Lift focuses on cars in our car-centric society. When I checked the Big Lift app just before the removal of the pedestrian and bicycle pathways, there was no mention of this imminent, 18 month effect on active transportation unless you dug deep to find a date with…

Alright c’mon!

[Image-1] That’s enough people…. i mean c’maaaan. All you restaurant go’ers who show up five minutes to close and have the nerve to say “oh..oh sorry to show up so late” yet proceed to sit down and then stay for HOURS. No you are not sorry and you only care about your own fat guts.…

Monday’s 7 things you gotta know

1 The casualties from the new Nova Scotian film industry have started to arrive. Last week Nova Scotia Business Inc. started accepting applications for film and TV productions under the Liberals’ new tax credit system. A Jim Henson Co. show planning to shoot here has ditched NS for British Columbia, and Screen Nova Scotia’s Marc…

Lawyer alleges Dalhousie advised dental grad to lie on licensing exams

[Image-1] The lawyers for Dalhousie dental grad Ryan Millet claim university administrators advised Millet to say he had never been suspended when applying for his dentistry license. It’s an accusation included as part of a lengthy statement sent out to media this afternoon by Bruce T. MacIntosh (of firm MacIntosh, Macdonnell and MacDonald). The lawyers,…

Why I celebrate Canada Day with all my heart

[Image-1] This letter was submitted in response to the June 25 Voice of the City by Killa Atencio (“Why I can’t celebrate Canada Day”). With the author’s permission, it has been edited for length. Dear Killa, I am upset by your recent article in The Coast. It contains many negative assumptions and bears an accusatory…

Market Street closed for three weeks because time is a flat circle

[Image-1] Progress, my friends, is an illusion. We pile bricks upon bricks, hoping for a wall. The only Sure Thing in this life is entropy. We delude ourselves into thinking any effort has been made to stave off the oncoming darkness. The Nova Centre remains under construction. Market Street closes for a crane. It’s all…

Help enVie expand, and help some fellow north enders

It’s been a big two years for Diandra Phipps and Cory Urquhart’s north end vegan eatery enVie: A Vegan Kitchen. After taking their farmers’ market based business to the next level and opening a restaurant at 5775 Charles Street, they’ve added cooking classes, juice cleanses and catering to their roster of offerings—on top of being…

Friday’s 9 things you need to know

1 Things got rowdy last night at a public meeting for a Lake Echo waste site. As previously noted, Lawrence Bellefontaine’s Kiann Management wants a waste processing facility on an empty Lake Echo lot so badly that the company’s already started dumping materials before any plans have been approved by the city. Neighbouring residents aren’t…

All of June’s stupidest press releases

[Image-1]
 Summer is when brands hit the beach. June is the perfect month to scare kids about outdoor safety, or barf out the latest fetishization of Canadian culture. For example, here’s a small sampling of some of our favourite weird press releases from the past four weeks. Please enjoy responsibly, as we all try to…

Top 5- Halifax’s Best Places Downtown

1. Citadel Hill in the Sunshine
 Bring a good book and a blanket for a lay on Halifax’s historic fortress. Address: 5425 Sackville St, Halifax, B3J 3Y3 Website 2. Uncommon Grounds
 Great coffee, urban design and they’ll let you take your dog in! 1030 South Park Street Website 3. Atlantic News
 Halifax’s newsstand for over…

Mills closes its doors for the last time

Mills, the retail anchor of Spring Garden Road for almost 100 years, shut down Tuesday night. Given how often over Mills is cited as the exemplar awesome local company that proves downtown is a great place to do business, its closure is an ominous portent. If Mills can’t make a go of it, does that…

Thursday’s 7 things you need to know

[Image-1] 1 The Dingle is closed! Repeat; the Dingle Tower has been closed! Due to vandalism. A safety screen at the top of the tower has been kicked in. Listen up, teens: it is not cool to vandalize Dingles. 2 Awareness of Nova Scotia amongst global business people is “virtually non-existent.” So says a provincial…

Sangria science

OK, let’s not complicate things. The science of the supreme backyard-sipping, party punch—sangria—doesn’t take a cocktail chemist to figure out, that’s the beauty of it. This easily adaptable drink can be a fresh summer quencher, or a spicy winter warmer, a one-glass one-off or a pitcher to pour out for all of your friends. “You…

A hair from the truth

Q My appearance is intrinsic to my kink. I’m a gay male gymnast. I’ve always been turned on by the thought of being a piece of meat. I’ve masturbated for years about dehumanization. Being in bondage, hooded and gagged—not a person anymore, faceless, nude, on display, completely helpless. (Just typing that sentence made me hard.)…

The Stanfields shake up

The Stanfields’ new single, “Fight Song,” hit radio airwaves last week following the announcement of new members Dillan Tate (bass) and Calen Kinney (bouzouki/fiddle) replacing founding fathers Craig Harris and Jason Wright. “We’re all 35 years old, we’ve experienced a lot of things and for them”— Wright and Harris—”I think it was important to start…

Sharon Jones: The hardest working woman in show biz

Sharon Jones’ success has been a long time coming. At 58, the soul singer received her first Grammy nomination this year. But working so hard for so long, Jones doesn’t take her success for granted. While she’s been singing since childhood and recording for 20 years, Jones’ passionate soul tunes only started to receive wider…

Flying Solo-icious

The artists single-handedly baring their souls on stage at the third Solo-icious Theatre Festival might seem like a testament to the cult of the individual, but paradoxically, for festival curator Keelin Jack, they’re actually proof of the power of community. Curating a festival of solo performances has encouraged her to see that there’s strength in…

What’s the future hold for Shannon Park?

Shannon Park in Dartmouth is a waterfront ghost town that could one day rise again as a sort of fanciful, mixed-use redevelopment. Just what this modern layout should look like was the subject of a public forum last week in Dartmouth hosted by the Canada Lands Company—the federal Crown corporation overseeing the proposed refurbishment of…

How to ride, and watch, this weekend’s Naked Bike Ride

1. Remember to wear sunscreen on all that skin not normally exposed to daylight. Our riders recommend slathering it on and letting it dry before attempting any body paint. 2. Scotch tape will not keep pasties on in the wind. 3. It can get cold down by the waterfront. “You’ve been warned,” says veteran naked…

Seaside Shanty retreat

A drive down the Lighthouse Route on the south shore is never a terrible way to spend an afternoon, so this weekend my friends Sarah, Megan and I wandered out to Chester Basin. Our destination: a Maritime postcard of a restaurant, the Seaside Shanty. Sitting right on the edge of the Chester Basin, the Shanty…

Free Will Astrology

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22) I am trying to be unfamiliar with what I am doing,” said composer John Cage in describing his creative process. That’s excellent counsel for you to meditate on, Cancerian. The less expertise and certainty you have about the rough magic you’re experimenting with, the more likely it is that…

Letters to the editor, July 2, 2015

My election issues Just in case the leaders of the federal political parties are wondering what a voter like me cares about, here are some Canadian issues I’d like to see dealt with in the coming election. Abolish the senate, it’s useless and expensive. Legalize pot in all forms. Beef up northern military/rescue presence and…

Going surfing on donair sauce, from Montreal to Halifax

I don’t know how I ended up thinking that a 22-hour train ride could be fun, or even somehow humanly possible. I was blissfully ignorant when I boarded my train from Montreal to Halifax on June 21. My editor at Urbania magazine had sent me to the Maritimes to investigate this seemingly cool alternative newspaper,…

Long live the female king, Real Eyez

“It started in junior high,” explains Halifax rapper and singer RealEyez (AKA Erin Dorrington). “They’d always say, ‘You’re too real for your own good,’ you know? I’m very outspoken and I’d rather tell people the truth.”  And the truth is—RealEyez has big dreams. Along with starting an independent label, Confiscated Records, she will release her second…

SUP Yoga Halifax launches tomorrow

“I thought to myself, What would be the coolest job? The kind of job that I would wake up every day and say ‘I love my life and I’m so excited to be doing this,’” says Grace Stolarz, a yoga instructor and the owner of SUP Yoga Halifax, which launches its stand-up paddleboards this Thursday…


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