Ashtanga Shala is closing
The new year brought with it unfortunate news from the Ashtanga Yoga Shala (1489 Birmingham Street). Owner and instructor Seth Daley sent members a heavy-hearted email announcing that his studio would be refunding memberships and closing at the end of January, citing it had seen a decline over the past two years. “It’s such a…
It’s not you, it’s the sex
Lover, you ain’t trying. On average, you’ll have The Sex with me once a month. That’s 12 times a year. If every time was a great time, well, it’d be plenty. But the quality – In the two and a half years we’ve been dating, you’ve gone down on me twice. Fair enough – maybe…
30 Neo-Futurist Plays from “Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind” created by Greg Allen, Written by the Neo-Futurists
You’ll forgive me if I don’t try to summarize the plot of any of the plays that make up the hour-long 30 Neo-Futurist Plays from “Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind” created by Greg Allen, Written by the Neo-Futurists. There are, after all, 30 of them. And besides, part of the fun of…
Ugh
Tell your girlfriend the truth. That I didn’t bone you, asshole. —Won’t Miss the Crazy
Check in with Kinetic
Your body may not need warming up with these unseasonably warm temps, but don’t forget about that pesky soul. Kinetic Studio simultaneously feeds your spirit and launches its 2014 Studio Series with a weekend of contemporary dance from choreographers Don Rieder, Janice Jackson and Liliona Quarmyne (January 18, 19 8pm at DANSpace, 1531 Grafton Street,…
Up the Hill Theatre’s power play
If you like your theatre loud, fast and risky, 30 Neo-Futurist Plays from “Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind” created by Greg Allen, Written by the Neo-Futurists is a show you won’t want miss (to January 19, The Living Room, 2353 Agricola Street, 8pm. $6 and “a roll of a die”, so, between…
Rainy day shopping
It’s the perfect solution to the blahs of rainy weather, and the prices are great this time of year! I love the personal service that one receives when it is less crowded, all that great wardrobe advice is priceless .. Spring Garden Rd. is full of bargains! It’s so nice to shop in a safe,…
Texting or journalism?
I just saw the acronym “lol” in a published movie review. The english language is officially dead. —Have some standards
chemtrails
Anybody see the 3 jets flying in near perfect formation under the full moon and lay 3 nice trails of chemical who knows what in the skies above Halifax last night. If you saw them and didn’t understand what you were looking at, the difference between chemtrails and contrails (the smokey looking plumes coming from…
Neon Wheels
A big thank you to the “Awesome Dude” @ the skateboard store last night. Thank you for the wheels, your patience and thoughtfulness; but most importantly thank you for taking the time to answer all of my sons questions and take an interest in him and one of his passions-skateboarding. In his own words it…
I can discuss my pregnancy as much as I want!
I post belly pics on facebook because my best friends want to see them. And if I feel the baby kick, I’m going to announce it. If you don’t want to see or hear about it, delete my ass! On top of that, I’m thrilled that I’m going to be a mommy and I like…
Who’s Bright Idea Was This?
Can someone please explain to me what they were thinking when they designated the lanes on Windsor Street? What is up with the intersections at Almon and North Streets? Right, left, straight? Pick one and hope for the best? Geez —Confused Driver
Lego Your Ego
Writer was too big into being better than all the rest ‘o us humble bumblers. CBC & heebie jeebie jebus crépes, and it was time to say, “Sorry pal, but yer outta heeyah. I like my bad french accent. ” A tad bummed over wasting my bottom lines on Puff Puff Pomp-Ass, I found solace…
“Shank”
To the dumbass who thinks having a Swiss Army knife is considered “offensive”.. Just because you were someone’s bitch in jail doesn’t make you mine. Fuck off. — Lilly
Bearded Guy
First of all, I’m a happily married woman with no intentions of connecting romantically with said bearded guy. I just needed it to be known in the least awkward way, that this man has the most BEAUTIFUL beard I have ever seen. We both go to the same school on the Dartmouth Waterfront. I see…
Weighty issue
The recent thaw freed the bags of wet leaves that were frozen in our yard, and we knew they were very heavy but we put them out for collection anyway. I watched while you wrestled with the green bin and the Christmas tree, and then struggled to lift those heavy leaves into the composting truck.…
Thanks for the coffee.
You insisted on paying for my coffee, because you felt you were taking a bit too long with your order. Wow. Not necessary. You left before I had a chance to thank you, so thanks! I’ll try to pass it on to someone else. —Jim
Nobody asked for your help
Your unsolicited advice is not helpful. Especially since it often has no basis in things I ACTUALLY need help with. If you spent half as much time doling out your pearls of “wisdom” to YOURSELF, more people would spend time with you. —Just shut up already
Being an “Ally”
If you’ve been hired at an organization dedicated to social and environment justice and working within an anti-oppressive framework … It may be time to retire those white girl dreadlocks, don’t you think? —Better hair than you
passive aggression, by Gucci
to the spaced out wes anderson extras who cutely zigzagged around my car while i patiently waited for their march of the hipster penguins fashion show to end at the crosswalk- (“secret high five handshake Zephyr! we’ve once again slyly subverted the man and taught him a thing or two about pedestrian rights, all in…
Where are all the jukboxes
I only know of one iand its in Bedford. Was gonna rock it with a certain babe but she blew me off. Need a new juke joint without heartbreak memories… —Hard2BSaint
Dear friend(?)
I know things look bad right now, and somehow they seem like they’re going to keep looking worse and worse. But I don’t want it to be this way. I want us to get along, like we did today for a little while. I want you as a friend. I’m sorry things turned out the…
Let’s Duet
I might be the human equivalent of a mood ring, but I’m very much in love with you. —Gimmit
Celebrity (non) Sighting
Joseph Gordon Levitt, where did you go? I used to see you every Sunday until the store you worked at went out of business. My sister wants to date you. —Zooey Deschanel
Barrington hate hero
I was walking with my group of daycare children back from Halifax public North library. The sidewalk on Barrington was cut off for a certain length, by chain link fence, and I had to make the hard decision of waking my kids on the side of the road until we hit the crosswalk. In the…
Paper Lady to The Rescue
To the lady handing out the metro paper at the Dartmouth bus terminal this morning. I would like to thank you again ever so kindly for catching me after I got off the bus and slipped on a patch of ice, and then giving me a big hug and saying “It’s ok dear, I got…
Hair DO!
Every time I go to a hairdresser they tell me they can’t do my hair the way I want it! I take pictures from hair magazines, so to better explain what I would like for my new hairstyle but alas they tell me not possible but they most definitely want to cut my long hair.…
OH HAIL NO!
Dear sad sack, So you wuz creepin’ me on facebook, keep writing me notes n shit, askin’ “Do I remember you”? Yet, you ain’t add me as a friend, for some reason… even when I send you a friend request to see who da fuck you are. You got 3 photos of you in a…
You so special……
So I do a lot of biking in the wintertime to and from work, and I had a sore ankle so I stopped for 3 days or so. The last night I biked home it was raining so a lot of salt ended up being left on the drivetrain, and the salt made it rust…
Matrimonial Assetts
How can a respondent list “Matrimonial Assets” that were purchased by the petitioner after the separation date the respondent states? And how can a respondent list “Matrimonial Assets” the petitioner owned before the relationship ever started? —Baffled with Divorce Law
You’re paying to be here
Why do people pack their bags when the prof is still talking? You’re paying to hear what they have to say, so sit down and shut up until they’re done for christ’s sake. What the hell is wrong with you? —Not like I’m trying to hear or anything…
Creationists
Not much else to add besides these people are fucking lunatics, and should be institutionalized. —god HATES Us All 🙂
Tree lover
Yes, I know that we should love our trees and protect them. But if the sidewalk snow plow happens to hit the tree that is between the sidewalk and the road, ie on city property, forgive the driver. I would much rather have a clear walkable sidewalk for myself and the seniors in our neighbourhood…
Be Nice to Your Friends
I work at a retail clothing store and today 2 girls walked in together and tried a few things on. One of the girls was obviously petite, so while her friend watched her try on some pants she proceeded to tell her “holy girl eat a cheeseburger”. The friend did not take the comment personally…
You have the problem
The problem isn’t that the hallway is too big it’s that the hotdog is too small. —Not me.
Wonder of wonders……
The trench in the Blvd to Bayers Lake I bitched about two days ago has been filled in! Sweet! Thanks to those who were responsible. In future, I hope you won’t have to fix a similar and avoidable problem….. Maybe it won’t happen again. Beauty dream! —Big D
Where’s Sid?
For what it’s worth, I miss the bloody hell outta you. My bed and these doobies will be waiting. Until then, fuck you. —Nancy
Ugh
Why do men think it’s okay to hit on me at work? I am behind a counter, dressed practically in a freaking nun’s habit by today’s standards and I swear I am in no way inviting this kind of interaction – unless not wearing a ring is considered an invitation? Let me spell it out…
Dear Nova Scotia
Seriously… I left you nearly two years ago for the better opportunities of the west and it seems EVERYBODY is following suit. How did I ever think I’d return? Did I naively, blindly, or drunkenly flitter my way through my undergraduate years without fully appreciating you? Because for as much as I’ve been thinking about…
LOL’ing at you
You rode a bike the day after the big ole snow-dump, thaw and freeze event that happened earlier this week. The roads were completely covered in ice. Not just patches, but complete skating rinks. You made the turn from Oxford to Inglis and you went tits up in the snow bank and a car almost…
Mother, Mother
If you’ve read Zailckas’ first book, the non-fiction title Smashed, an exploration exploring the author’s lost, drunken, teen years, it might not come as a surprise that the characters in her first novel Mother, Mother, are so incredibly, indelibly fucked up. The story follows, from varying third-person perspectives, the unstable saga of the Hurst family.…
August: Osage County
Every generation gets the Julia Roberts it deserves—in the ’90s it was the big-haired, commitment-phobic Julia, who defected to Ireland for two goddamn years and came back still a star. (That would never happen now. None of it.) In the ’00s it was Capital-A Actor Julia, working with Soderbergh and Nichols and winning awards. Here…
Infidelity
“You’re simply two people groping to find meaning when there’s little to none.” Sadly, this quote from Stacey May Fowles’ second novel aptly sums up my feelings on Infidelity. As a fan of Fear of Fighting (2008), I admit my expectations were high, and while Fowles does manage to cover meaningful terrain—about the lengths people…
Her
Woe is the sad sack with too much technology on his hands! In the distant-ish future—considering all the high-waisted pants and mustaches, it seems the hipsters have won—Joaquin Phoenix is a guy named Theodore going through a divorce and finding himself very far away from humans. (In Spike Jonze’s LA, everyone seems to be far…
Behind the Candelabra
Though it opened in cinemas in Europe, Hollywood’s fear of marketing a “gay” movie meant Soderbergh’s film was first delivered to a cable TV audience on HBO. A biopic of famed Las Vegas entertainer Liberace—Lee to his friends—the temptation to make him and his lifestyle seem fabulous must have been huge. Soderbergh resists. Not to…
Halifax’s dangerous crosswalks
Halifax, we have a problem: people walking across and near our streets are getting killed and maimed by cars. And yes, we all have dealt with erratic and irresponsible pedestrians, but the data overwhelmingly suggests that this is by and large a driver problem, not a pedestrian problem. Consider: A recent police review detailed 74…
Bespoken
The first release from Heavy Fog, a new avant-classical imprint from stalwart Halifax outsider label Divorce Records, is spellbinding. It offers over an hour of shifting, tangled melodies from some of Toronto’s finest players. With introspective strings, blooming autoharp and ebbing cymbals, Bespoken moves the mind of the listener to a position of lightness. Which…
Nebraska
There’s always time for a simple story, well told. Alexander Payne grew up in Nebraska, and this is less a love letter than an old photo album. Bruce Dern is Woody Grant, who has dementia and believes he’s won a million dollars in a Publishers Clearing House-style scam. He can no longer drive so he’s…
The Devil Makes Three
This album has already been noticed by more people than The Devil Makes Three’s decade of earlier releases. Originally from Vermont, based in California, the trio’s new label hooked them up with Nashville producer Buddy Miller. Sure enough, Miller’s earthy guitar boosts “Hand Back Down” into as rambunctious a critique of religion as you’re likely…
Coming to new terms
Q Is there a term that is preferred to “transgendered”? I recently wrote an article that described a MTF person I know as transgendered. The article was positive about transgendered persons I have known (she is one of many). Upon seeing a draft, this person flipped out so hard that I felt compelled to cut…
The Belle Comedians
With that tone of lament that turns up these days in male groups from Kings of Leon to Mumford and Sons, this quintet from Fredericton could blend in with some very popular acts. The album and song titles are six different women’s names, like a triage tent in the love wars. Loads of hooks help…
Storm watch
It was just over 10 years ago that a category-two hurricane dubbed Juan tore through Halifax, ripping roofs from houses and trees from the ground, and flooding our waterfront and coastline. Eight deaths were attributed to the storm. The tally for repairs has been estimated at $300 million. These days, if you take a stroll…
Howie Gelb
Some artists affirm life just by being as eccentric and prolific as ever. Though Howie Gelb has been more celebrated for past exploits with Giant Sand, his solo career is attracting admirers. Scottish singer KT Tunstall, Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy and violinist Andrew Bird all contribute. An oddly tuned, meandering piano, ghostly backing vocals and Gelb’s…
Greatness awaits
Daniel MacIvor, king of the one-man show and the pared-down aesthetic, set out to explore a different theatrical vision when he conceived of His Greatness. “I wanted to have a play with a set. A door that opens and closes. A chandelier…I wanted to create a well-made play that was an homage to Tennessee Williams,…
Free Will Astrology
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Capricorn! (December 22-January 19) Can you guess what combination of colours makes the most vivid visual impact? Psychologists say it’s black on yellow. Together they arrest the eye. They command attention. They activate a readiness to respond. According to my reading of the astrological omens, this is the effect you can and should…
The slow down
In the dead of winter, there are few things more comforting than walking into a home that smells of a meal already prepared. With patience and time, such a luxury can be had for very little money and effort. Welcome to Braising Meat 101. The techniques necessary for braising meats are pretty rudimentary. The premise…
Cold Smoke chillin’
This is the time of year when you haul out memories of heat waves and sleeping on top of your sheets, not under all of the blankets you possess, hot water bottles embraced like childhood teddy bears. Desperately attempting to push realities of wet socks and numb noses out of the foreground with fantasies of…
Talk show
Prepare yourself for some Inception-level music journalism about music journalism. It can be forgiven in the service of spreading the word about about Accessible Media Inc.’s Pop Talk. Host Ryan Delehanty has been behind a mic for years, first with CKDU through his Bourbon Jungle and TV Party podcasts and then professionally with AMI—an organization…
Cud Eastbound’s fantastic voyage
Cud Eastbound gathers no moss. The Halifax-based banjo-plucking folk musician’s third full-length album Furcula “Little Fork” was recently released on new label All We’ve Got Records, but only after Eastbound had toured the album extensively, for a year and a half, in fact. “Travelling is the most important part of my life, it can help…
Letters to the editor, January 9, 2013
Mail bag I wish all mail carriers were like Melanie (“Canada post wants to eliminate my job. Here’s why you should care,” Voice of the City by Melanie MacKenzie, December 19). The points she makes are valid. The aged are the ones who will be the greatest affected by this policy. Try telling an 80-year-old…
Well-Read Women
Although the gift-giving “season” has again come to an end, keep Well-Read Women in your back pocket—literally, although it’s rather sizeable, or figuratively, if you’re ever in need of a coveted object for the biblio-femme in your life. Here, a collection of literary “heroines” is depicted in vibrant watercolour, portrayed with as much mystery, sensuality,…
