To all the knaves trying to get in my knickers: just stop.

I'm through with those who aren't even in my league behaving like spoiled princes. And for that matter: Ladies of Halifax who bend over backwards fawning over and servicing these men, know that they're imbibing a false sense of entitlement and you're doing a disservice to your sisters.

Finally, if there's a bachelor out there who has evolved past the crude, arrogant, selfish, disrespectful and unfortunately prevalent style of "courtship" dominating the kingdom (and can meet his match in the industrious, audacious queen of the lovelies): Find yourself a star compass, a grappling hook and a bouquet of hand-picked tiger lilies and you come find me, sir. —Her Majesty