MAN, I am a fucking idiot....

I think this is going to be all cryptic bitchers so move on now if you don't want to be confused. That means you too LS. And don't any of you start the "WTF' bullshit with me... not now... not ever. you've been fucking warned./p>

Emotions are high and I get all pissed and enraged. Add red bull and I'm fucking wired to the max. Tragic night. Can't even talk or express thought. No connection whatsoever with anyone I don't already know. Wasted precious time with a true friend I never get to see... and can't get past my own stupid, fucking emotions. She's tough as nails and can really put me through the ringer. How can someone be both so high and low in so little time??? Too much confusion. Emotions are a bitch... a true, true bitch. Needed a little forced, physical pain to even me out and I certainly got it. Looking forward to more. Hope she can look past my idiocy. Luv her like family. Maybe more but can't decide.. not that it will go there. How can I fuck up a nearly un-ruinable connection so god damn quickly??? My life is really getting to be a fucking mess. I feel so bad.. so small... so fucked.—Life's zeal loZt zo quickly