I don’t want cable!
I have to hand it to a certain cable company with a ring to it—they have their marketing program on lock. They really want me to have cable and won’t take no for an answer. I get at the same three flyers from them EVERY DAY. Then, just in case I missed the large stack…
Chick Biker
Shoutout to the biker coming up the ramp to the Macdonald Bridge today. Just wanted to say good job that bridge is hard enough by itself and for you to stand up and attack that hill, good on ya. -From One Biker Chick To Another
Second Opinion
It is a wise thing to do, but how can anybody get a second medical opinion in NS when it is so difficult to find a general practitioner who will take you on as a patient? If a person does find a second GP, by the time the new tests and referrals to specialists are…
Masturbate Quietly!
Dear Roomie: It’s quite obvious when you’re working on the ol’ clit there. When I’m relaxing after a long shift at the restaurant, I’d rather NOT hear your moans when you’re getting yourself off. It doesn’t matter what room I’m in, even if you’re in the shower doing it, I hear you. When I masturbate,…
Manipulative Lying Inconsiderate Co-worker
I cannot call you a lazy useless jackass because that’s an insult to lazy useless jackasses everywhere. How low do you have to be to lie about being in violent amounts of pain or having a death in the family to manipulate somebody to drop everything to cover for you? I’m not the only one…
Muffin Bitcher
To the writer of a hilarious Martha and the Muffins post, you are great and correct in identifying that crime against humanity. I have felt the same way since childhood. -Commiserater
Wheelchair Inaccessible
Took my partner’s niece to a downtown Halifax hospital emergency department and it wasn’t the kids’ one. She had sprained her ankle. No wheelchair to be had, for security guards looking for one and/or crutches. She ended up hopping in the door then was given a computer chair to wheel on. Healthcare shortage? This is…
He’s not who he used to be!
I wish people would stop telling me that my man’s cheating on me while he works out west for weeks at a time. OK, he cheated on me once…way back in late 2011, and that’s when we were having a rough patch! He even told me, himself. We are going strong and have been for…
News Radio
I like to listen to all news radio on my 45-minute morning commute. There isn’t a lot of options for it here—either the public broadcaster or the cell-phone company-owned carbon copy of 680 News in Toronto. My beef is with the advertisements on the latter. They are so annoying. Anastasia from a certain hippy pharmacy’s…
A Real Accountant>$25,000/year
When your profile said Accountant for your occupation, I thought you were accomplished like myself. I’m a CA and I figured having the same career in common was an immediate bonus. When I found out you only work as an admin assistant and do bank deposits and you barely make $25,000 a year, I was…
Jacket Jackass
To whomever took my denim jacket from the Sadies show at the Marquee tonight: kindly go fuck yourself. I left it alone because I didn’t imagine a cheap, worn, second-hand denim with a highly personalized and very recognizable back-patch (I made that, btw) would be of value to anyone but me. I suppose I should…
Desolation Row
To everyone who works at the fancy fruit store: You are all hilarious and crazy and the nicest people ever. -In The Kitchen Without the Tombstone Blues
Last Chance
Well my “friend”…you continue to play your game. You have an almost perfect scenario, yet you look your gift-horse in the mouth. -Spot-On
Lil’ Lou’s clues
“They grow up so darn fast,” says every parent about their sprouting children who can’t seem to fit into anything for longer than a few months. Enter Lil’ Lou’s Second Hand Clothing for Children (1528 Queen Street, second floor) the newest addition to the vintage row strip, a joint effort from Natalie Slater (of Shiso…
Shithead Chive Shitter
Some moron thought it might be a remotely good and funny idea to take a big dump in my friend’s chives. Perhaps you’re just some teenager on a dare, but that is really the epitome of idiocy! Have some respect—for yourself and others! How can you justify destroying (yes, destroying) food on a whim when…
Special Fridays
After spending a week of torture at work that seems like an eternity, I look forward to our Friday morning coffee. The conversations, laughter and camaraderie is definitely what makes Fridays worth getting up for, not that I would need an alarm clock for it. May this sacred cycle never be broken. -Tovaritsch Rasputin
It Happened To Me
OK, I know there is a joke about the man who tried to throw away his garbage can. Well it happened to me. I took a ratty garbage can and stomped on to it make it even rattier, then placed it—empty!—next to my garbage. The garbage man did not take it. I thought about writing…
Anal Anyone?
Dear Pretty Boy Driving Your Pretty-Boy Car On the Circ Yesterday: You have a beautiful car. It goes vroom-vroom. I get it. I really and truly do. However, I prefer to keep my anal inspections off the road and between the sheets. Next time you want to go that deep, be sure to buy me…
You Misogynistic Assclown!
I would like to let the “manager” of a certain food establishment housed in a larger building know how much of an incredibly pathetic piece of shit he is. On my lunch break I watched you belittle one of your young female employees (btw the staff nearly all female and late teens early 20s) as…
Drugstore Sympathetic Sickie
To the very sick but very lovely girl behind the counter at the drug store: Even though your eyes and nose were red as hell and you looked tired and possibly pukey, you were smiley, polite and really nice to talk to about our coinciding colds. You made buying bus tickets the nicest part of…
Tickets
Fuck the police officer who rolled up on me for riding to the sidewalk. This is following two cars honking at me because I was riding too slow I was riding slow because of the proximity I was with parked cars not know whether one contained a human blind to using the side mirror. Fuck…
Ray’s Lebanese is back
Ray’s Lebanese Cuisine may be gone from the Scotia Square lunchscape but it’s certainly not forgotten. And falafel lovers who follow its owner Ray Khattar on Twitter may have seen that he quietly announced Ray’s renaissance—it’ll re-open at 75 Akerley Boulevard, Suite 101. Burnside lunch crowd, you’re the envy of many. Related Stories
After-Sex Selfie Hater
Don’t inbox me and tell me to fuck off with the after-sex selfies and then report them! If you don’t like my them then delete me. They’re not harming anyone, I just like to post them cause it’s fun! My boyfriend and I get a big kick out of them. The fact that you go…
SHHH! It’s a library. Also, Don’t be an asshole.
I’ve been frequenting the library on Spring Garden Road for quite some time, and I’m appalled by the amount of people who routinely come to the library and cause disturbing scenes, often harassing librarians or other regular customers. Why are people so crazy, and just plain mean? -Just Wanted Some Free Blu-Rays
Supporters
To the supporters and ones who feel the need to post things on my behalf: I appreciate the support and I know it comes from a good place, but please understand I chose not to engage in the recent ware because that is who I am. I fight for what is important and this truly…
Stop Making Me Smile!
GOD boy, I’m crushing way too much. I must look like I love my job or something because I can’t even look at you without smiling now. You’re so fucking MMMM and I’m so obviously blushy! UGHHH you’re cute, this is bad. -Charmed
Mr.Suave
Still thinkin’ bout ‘chu even though I shouldn’t. You had me. Your eyes, your touch, everything. You make me second guess my choice. -Too Late
The Sadies make it great
The last time I saw Toronto’s rocking four-piece The Sadies was on a hot August night in 2011. George’s Roadhouse, the greasy truck-stop diner on the edge of Sackville, New Brunswick, was so excitedly packed for the band’s Sappyfest show that people were squeezed out the front door and dancing on the lawn. “It was…
Michelle & Andy
When Michelle Kenstler and Andy Howat met in 2001, she was a barista and he worked at a nearby bike shop. “Andy would come in every day, order his coffee and bagel – twice toasted, not too much cream cheese – and quietly melt my heart.” Soon he was slipping her book recommendations across the…
Becoming strong and speaking up
With the growing list of assaults, the recent uprising of debates against rape culture and the extensive media coverage on mostly negative aspects of these topics, it is no argument in my mind that our community is extremely lacking of education regarding sexual violence. I was an A-plus student in school. I loved my teachers…
Saying goodbye to the YMCA
Its closure has long been discussed as part of the plan for a nice new fitness facility, but now the South Park Street YMCA’s last days have arrived, and the community that’s grown up with the Y for the last 61 years is just starting to face the loss. Click here for our stand-alone features…
Nurses’ knuckles rapped over illegal strike
Capital Health is punishing nurses for playing hooky. Following an illegal strike April 1, some nurses who walked off the job are being suspended for two shifts without pay and have been told to write “personal reflections,” due June 5, on how their actions affected patients. On April 1, nurses left their duties to protest…
Civic beauty
HRM, because we love you, this is your intervention. On Saturday, June 7, Halifax will join Vancouver, Toronto and Montreal in a city-wide series of interventions for 100 in 1 Day, a non-profit organization founded in Bogota in 2012 to celebrate civic groups and communities. Designed to introduce the general public to all facets of…
Maleficent
Pick a superhero or a villain and his motivation for becoming either can most often be drawn back to a dead parent(s). Avenging, revenging, honouring, all that crap—it’s about something being cruelly taken from you, wondering why and coming to terms with it your own way. In Maleficent, the origin story of Sleeping Beauty’s evil…
Free Will Astrology
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Gemini (March 21-April 19) I suspect that some night soon you will have a dream of being naked as you stand on stage in front of a big audience. Or maybe not completely naked. There’s a strong possibility you will be wearing pink-and-green striped socks and a gold crown. And it gets worse.…
Fading Gigolo
Here is a list of terrible things about this movie: 1. Woody Allen plays a pimp. 2. Sofia Vergara. 3. Sharon Stone, still beautiful, needing to a. hire a gigolo while b. wondering aloud if she’ll get AIDS. 4. A visual palette of cigarette-stain yellow. 5. A subplot about Hasidic Jews that is supposed to…
Straight man, gay thoughts
Q I’m a 25-year-old straight guy. Last month, I was in the locker room at my gym. It was 4am, and I was the only one around. I was getting ready to leave, when I noticed someone exiting the showers. He kinda caught me looking (he was very well-endowed), and I quickly turned my head,…
Barbara & Shaun
Born worlds apart – Shaun is originally from Bermuda and Barbara, Ghana – these two lovebirds might never have met if it weren’t for Mount Saint Vincent University. One day they had to share a book in class and the rest is history. Four years and one romantic dinner later they were ready to spend…
Poster boy Adrian Bruhm
Adrian Bruhm is an energetic lad. Onstage with his band The Graboids, Bruhm flings himself into the crowd, wrapping himself and various audience members in microphone cords, rolling on the floor and singing into people’s faces. At $Rockin 4 $, where Bruhm co-hosts the weekly open mic at Reflections with Craig Hamlin every Monday, he…
Sindura & Aneesh
When Aneesh Chhabra proposed to Sindura Dar it was a leap of faith – literally. Poised to dive out of a private plane, he asked her to answer him back on the ground, giving Sindura a lot to think about as she parachuted down. “At first, I thought Aneesh was joking because he is a…
Picturing Dartmouth’s new optimism
It’s Saturday morning and downtown Dartmouth is bustling as customers flit between cafes, brunch spots and the Alderney Landing market. Inside The Dart Gallery on Portland Street, a couple picks up a painting before leaving for vacation, and Huxley the rabbit, named after the author of Brave New World, naps in his cage behind the…
Clear eyes, full cart
“That lady right there is responsible for the store that provides me with the bacon. And she can introduce me to the man that made the bacon and, if I want to, I can go visit the pig,” says Jon Blanchard, pointing out Getaway Farms Butcher Shop’s Cynthia Kennedy as she stops by his hot…
Bringing Deception: A Rock Opera to life
“It’s about a town, it’s about any town anywhere that you would go,” explains Katey Day, the long-time blues musician and writer and director of Deception: A Rock Opera. “You have your stereotypical characters: rednecks, religious figures, street people. And not only is the soundtrack fantastic, but everybody in the audience will be reminded of…
Ruth-Ann & Kristen
Ruth-Ann MacDonald and Kristen Landry met in prison, yes, but it’s because they work there. And that’s not even the wildest part of this romance – the pair was in a serious motorcycle accident that landed Kristen healing a broken pelvis in Amherst and Ruth – who was airlifted to Halifax – hospitalized for six…
Beard science
Clayten Willington wants you to put your best face forward, even if it is covered in hair. Especially if it’s covered in hair. An entrepreneur and beardsman, he created the Better Beard Company last year when his six-month-old beard was causing him some major itch. When he couldn’t find any locally-made, quality beard oils he…
