Good Samaritan Snubbed
My wife, who works in retail, recently found a wallet at her place of employment. Contained therein was every credit card known to mankind and $2000.00 cash. Let me begin by saying that the gentleman who lost the wallet was EXTREMELY fortunate that it was someone like my wife who found it and not someone…
Hollow threats
why would anyone let alone a adult call a corperation like Walmart and say to an manger.there’s a bomb in the store .HOW OLD ARE YOU !!! really are you retarded. that’s something a teenager would do couse someone is being a bully!!!. not an adult to get out’ve work. well i’am sorry for all…
Please don’t be a hood ornament.
To the countless idiots that insist on wearing all black outfits at night and “J” walking. You, the daft pedestrian may have the right of way, but that isn’t going to bring you back to life when you go bouncing off someone’s hood. Ps maybe black clothes are in style in the afterlife. Idiots!!!!! Big…
Return home!
Hi. I recently came home to Halifax from my travels and studies in China. On my return Toronto and Halifax had just been hit with a snow storm so the airport was a little more heck tick than usual even for this time of year. Flights were backed up and luggage bags were no where…
Get Over It
Some of the things people complain about here are so trivial. Bad service in a restaurant? People on bikes? Too much or not enough development? Shit people, why not do something productive or just be happy for the relative comfort you probably enjoy in this city. Yeah life isn’t always easy, but it’s too short…
Art schmart
Why does Halifax make such crap art? Quit drawing like kids. Your shitty obsession with irony is getting old fast. Oh, I get it! It’s a crappily drawn bear with a balloon, really creative. Why don’t the drawings have elbows either? Make Something That Matters
Ash Fired Pizza?
Last night(wednesday night – dec 19 around 6:30) I was walking by a pizza place and glanced into the window located on the side door. One of the employees was SMOKING a cigarette in the back of the kitchen! GROSS! Just because its frickin cold outside doesn’t make it ok to smoke indoors! Esp in…
STOP EATING
I am sick and tired of people complaining about their weight. I am sick of hearing how uhappy they are about being fat when every chance they get they are eating junk. Stop eating cookies, chips, take out…Food that makes you stay and get fat. Are you a dumbass? No wonder you are overweight! If…
You’re going to get it
Things never change, you never hustled in gym class cause you were too busy putting on black eye shadow and nail polish, now you don’t hustle when you cross the street. You walk across the street like you’re Pope Benedict and nothing can touch you, you take a nice stroll across the street totally disregarding…
Three days later…
Today’s Globe and Mail is reporting on RodMac’s “year-end interview” with CTV: “Mr. MacDonald said he’s confident people will recognize that he moved quickly to turf Mr. Fage from the Conservative caucus after his conviction Tuesday for leaving the scene of a traffic accident 13 months ago.” Of course people define “quickly” in different ways.…
Return of the Turbo Thunder
Remeber Seeing all the fun I was having on my scooter, the Turbo Thunder? I do, I also remember going out my back door, only to find out you took it for yourself. you fucker! you tore down all of the lost scooter posters from the north side of Albro lake rd.,oh you live there?…
The Thunder Rolls
I remember going out to my backyard, where my Turbo Thunder used to lay, and looking all around for it, but it was gone, you took it during the 15 minutes it took for me to enjoy a pizza. You Fucker! Then you tore down all the Lost scooter posters on the north side of…
Jumped The Shark
Apparently in the short time (Less than a year) since I left Auburn Drive High School, it’s become such a waste of space. It makes me glad that I was lucky enough to graduate from there before all these problems arose because If I was forced to go to school in a place where the…
NOW that doesn’t look right (UPDATED)
I tried to go to NOW magazine’s site this morning to check out their redesign. Here’s a picture of the page I found. Zoinks. That can’t be what the Toronto alt-weekly was going for. UPDATE: A couple hours later, the site is back to normal.
Nova Scotia priced to move
If you’re an unhappy British professional looking for an escape, this might be welcome news. If you’re a Nova Scotian, this smacks of modern colonialism. England’s respected Telegraph paper/site/media-thingy recently published a story encouraging thrifty Brits to shop for property in our beautiful, boring, bargain-priced province. From the article: “Property prices in Nova Scotia are…
Blimpin’ Ain’t Easy
Don’t let that TV writers’ strike make you glum, chum—leave the couch behind. On Friday, December 21 at Ginger’s (1662 Barrington), comedy night Blimpin’ Ain’t Easy will tickle your funny bone in that special way you like. Hosted by the runner-up of the Just for Laughs Homegrown Comic Competition, Nick Beaton, and featuring returning Haligonians…
CBC TV
In last year’s Holiday Fiction issue, my smarty predecessor Tara Thorne fooled y’all with her fictionalized Dope Show column, which included news of a mega-rep cinema and a provincial arts council funded by Sarah McLachlan. But it was her pretend roster of CBC TV programming that got knickers in a twist—and gave the Ceeb a…
To cuddlesnhugs…
Thanks for your comments on my kijiji ad,but if you ain’t interested don’t waste my time or yours. just move on. Its a free market place. crank ass
Tory undead online
It’s been two days since premier MacDonald publicly expelled Ernie Fage from the PC Party, yet Fage is still listed as one of the party’s elected members at the PC homepage. Since it’s the season for charity, I’ll point out that Fage has disappeared from the Tory caucus page since yesterday. Otherwise, the Fage follies…
Twisted Sisters/Midtown Hotel
Why the fuck does everyone have to complain about progress downtown. Why the hell is everyone so god damn obsessed with Citadel Hill- Its just a fucking hill! I can’t wait to see the twisted sisters actually. It will be a nice change from our boring downtown. Right now the most exciting buildings downtown is…
The Reason
The ReasonFriday, December 14, 9:30pm, at The PavillionAaron Fraser
Strange Adventures compilation CD
If you’re stressing out over holiday gifts on a strict budget, your midnight sobbings are answered. This week, comic bookshop Strange Adventures releases a compilation CD featuring (mostly) local bands such as The Maynards, The Superfantastics, Rule of Thumb, Wordburglar, Laura Peek, The Memories Attack, Matt Reid, Sharp Like Knives, Windom Earle and more. The…
Horses
“Man rock” band Horses gallop into town on Saturday, December 22, immediately set up their gear and rock out at The Attic. Lachie MacDonald (guitar and vocals), Glenn Barrington (drums) and the band’s new bassist Nathan Richards are poised to give Halifax a taste of what they’ve been up to lately. MacDonald says, “Glenn and…
Tomcat Combat
Warming up for their upcoming studio stint with Charles Austin at Echo Chamber, Tomcat Combat are pleased to entertain you at The Attic this Friday, December 21 (with Jon McKiel Band and Boy For Sale). “Early January we are in the studio with Charles Austin and we’ve never been in a studio before. Thankfully, we’ve…
Trollope Street and Bell Road
Remarks: The corner of Trollope Street and Bell Road has started a collection of construction rejects. As the snow comes and goes, a barricade and other leftovers reveal themselves as if we’re on some sort of archeological dig—and this is one eyesore of a fossil. It seems as if these archaic remains date back to…
Farewell to Mike Fleury
After spending almost three-and-a-half years plugging away for team Coast (and, by proxy, team Halifax), we’re formally giving up our post as news editor and moving on to smoggier pastures. The uber-capable Tim Bousquet will be taking over in the New Year. Happy holidays, Halifax, and all the best for 2008. We miss ya’ already.
Chebucto Road
Residents along Chebucto Road will enjoy an extra dose of seasonal stress in the coming weeks—especially those in danger of losing their homes to the city. They’ll be waiting for HRM staffers to make them an offer on their properties, which, according to the city’s manager of traffic and transportation services Dave McCusker, won’t come…
Oh hear us, Rob
To the editor, This may or may not be newsworthy but I thought it’d be a nice throwback to the whole Celine Dion thing. The masses of Halifax fans who are saddened by the fact Rob Zombie doesn’t appear on the Ozzy Osbourne concert bill, despite opening for Osbourne for the entire Canadian tour minus…
All about teamwork
To the editor, As one of many in Halifax who volunteer their time on a regular basis, I was thrilled to see Lindsay McCarney’s article “No purchase necessary” on volunteering, in The Coast, Dec 6, 2007. However, as a great grandson of the founder of scouting and guiding, Robert Baden-Powell, I feel that three great…
Hop on the praise!
To the editor, I want to rant and rave about how much I love Metro Transit. I don’t think I’ve ever made a better $60 investment in my life than the all-you-can-bus monthly bus pass. I don’t see any need to have a personal vehicle. Anywhere I want to go, any time, I can just…
Late Holiday Shoppers
I get it. You’ve waited until the last minute to get your holiday shopping completed. So have I. Here’s a newsflash for you people…this festive season comes AT THE SAME TIME EVERY YEAR. Therefore, if you know you’re going to be a cranky, stressed out, mean muther fucker when doing last minute shopping – plan…
A beautiful mind
Stacey Ho has always dreamed of impossible things. But nothing interesting happens to her. Maybe it’s because she’s too rational. Maybe she doesn’t have faith. The only impossible thing she can remember doing is predicting the cover of her kindergarten yearbook. So, Ho uses art to create the extraordinary world she wishes she could see.…
Book reviews
On Performing, by Bob Snider & searchable archives.
Alternative astrology
Rob Brezsny’s latest column.
DVD reviews
Christmas Time in South Park, by Trey Parker and Matt Stone & searchable archives.
Family tree
In his breakthrough autobiographical drama The Squid and the Whale, Noah Baumbach crafted—re-staged, one supposes—a world of divorce-driven pain. Even as the Berkman family fell apart before our eyes, unable to stop its lives from shifting irreparably, one thing was never in question: conviction. Each member was so certain he was right (and there was…
Vanilla needs to be on the menu.
Q I’m a 21-year-old female and I know the my-boyfriend-has-a-diaper-fetish thing has been done to death. But… We’ve been together for two years. When he mustered up the courage to tell me about his fetish, I was supportive even though it did seem odd. To be completely honest, he’s so good looking and such a…
Military school
Christmas, a time to celebrate peace and to thank our beneficent military for supporting Canadian universities. Last year, I wrote about how Dalhousie’s Centre for Foreign Policy Studies was one of 11 similar academic outfits generously supported by DND, the Department of National Defence. Now, I’ll point to the King’s Journalism School, where budgets are…
Marcus McGivery and the Naked Joulupukki
Marcus McGivery was scuffing his boots sadly on the way home from school when he first saw the naked man in the tree. It was the last day of school before the holidays. Snow had fallen the night before, and in the morning the entire playing field looked like an iced cake. When he’d arrived…
Young adult, non-fiction
The North End branch of the Halifax Regional Library is a single storey brick building on Gottingen street, sitting between the YMCA and Ahern Manor. A decade ago I disliked going there. I hated being served at the circulation counter by this sour angry arrogant kid, so much that I refused to be served by…
The turn of seasons
It was the night before solstice and I was ready for a partythe air was cold and the snow was coming, you could tell it was gonna besoon startingthe sky was pink. you could smell the anticipation in the treessnowflakes to grace us with their presence and drape across branches where there once were leaves’tis…
On patrol
The corner of Trollope Street and Bell Road.
How the Grinch Took Back Christmas
Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lotCause they liked to show off how much money they gotAnd they never invited the Grinch who lived up on Mount CrumpitAnd when the Whos had garbage they went there to dump itThere were boxes and bows and tinfoil and wrappingIt was toxic but the Grinch couldn’t…
Sixtoo life
Let it be known, asking Sixtoo to explain all of his alter egos makes you sound like when your dad asks you, “What’s with all this hippity-hop music I keep hearing about?” Like the Ryan Adams of hip-hop, this guy just keeps coming up with new projects. He dropped a new Sixtoo LP in September,…
Without him
My son Joey’s so little, he’s resting his chin on the kitchen table, eyes slightly crossed as he manoeuvres a spoonful of Rice Krispies toward his lips. “Joey,” I say. He blinks at his bowl with sleepy eyes. I want to brush his dirty-blonde bangs out of them. “Yeah, ma,” he says, hoarsely. “Did you…
Christmas Time in South Park
Christmas Time in South ParkDirected by: Trey Parker and Matt StoneParamount Home VideoIf your diet’s fibre-friendly, and you like your holidays treacle-free, it’s time to get your George-Bailey-weary mitts on the new South Park collection, Christmas Time in South Park. The compilation brings together seven of South Park’s stellar Christmas episodes—five of them featuring everyone’s…
Gordon B. Isnor w/The Just Barelys, On Film
Celebrate the end of Christmas at Gus’ Pub on December 27 as local artisans gather to raise their baby pints high above the booze-stained carpets and give cheers to the tail-end of the overly jovial, commercial holiday season. Wild rover and former local legend Gordon B. Isnor is also rolling into town for a Boxing…
“Bah Humbug Christmas” informercial
Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas!!! It’s that time of year again. Do u hate crowded shopping malls?Do u hate wrappin Christmas gifts?Do u hate big family dinners with crazy relatives? Do u hate Christmas? If u answered yes To any of the previous questions…Bah humbug…. Have I got a deal for the bah humbug in…
Shell game
On a recent sojourn to the Halifax Farmers’ Market, I discovered “the oyster guy.” For many of us faithful Saturday morning marketeers, Philip Docker is a familiar face. On the day of discovery, my eye caught a bottle of Tabasco sauce and a freshly cut lemon and I was suddenly in the mood for a…
Atonement
Were Atonement released in the spring or summer, it would be regarded as an above-average literary adaptation, and left at that. But because it’s opening at the end of the year, it’s a big Oscar film. This take on Ian McEwan’s novel unfolds in a way in which, if you’re unfamiliar with the source material,…
Post-Mortem
It is Christmas Day, and we are driving to the place where my brother Gavin died in a car accident three years ago. In the car there is my father in his new suit, driving with hands firmly at 10 and 2. There is my mother, straight-backed in the passenger seat with her hair freshly…
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Alvin and the Chipmunks skewers commercial pop garbage with its music-industry satire of how three rodents rise to the top of the billboard charts and are exploited into plush merchandise. Oh wait, I’m reviewing a movie version of a TV cartoon that was made because the screen incarnations of Scooby-Doo and Garfield made money. Good…
New Year’s Resolution: All things Awkward
I miss an awkward yesterday. Our restaurant juke box & peering through theglass, when pinball wasracy and asteroids were fast. Clothes lines, basementbands, the daysbefore paymentplans, the natural grooves of analogand the clickety click clack of typing class.I owe Ms. Koebal and that old machineStill sit back upsnap at those keys.How did you bold withOne…
I Am Legend
Will Smith’s performance as Robert Neville, the last man on Earth after a virus outbreak in 2009, redeems I Am Legend from its familiar surface. Francis Lawrence, director of Constantine and various pop videos, lacks adventure in his dead-silence approach to urban isolation, but occasionally leaves a profound impression—the abandoned buildings of New York are…
