Q I am a 28-year-old post-op transsexual woman. I met a great 31-year-old guy. We have been dating for a year and he recently told me that he didn’t think he was sure he was in love with me. He said that he didn’t know if he could give me any sort of commitment, that […]
Dan Savage
Posted inLifestyle
Defective bullshit detectors
Q I read the letter from the woman who had cheated on her ex and now wants to patch it up. I have a similar situation, except it was my ex-girlfriend who cheated on me. We’d been living together for a few years—we were engaged—and then she suddenly moved out “temporarily” to “work out some […]
Posted inLifestyle
Sex, lies and text msg dumping
Q I’m a 27-year-old gay man. I had a really great first couple of dates with a guy, so for the third date I invited him to stay over. I cooked a nice dinner, we watched a movie and we had a lovely time in bed together. In the morning, we had another romp. At […]
Posted inLifestyle
Too much too soon?
Q I am a mostly straight, 22-year-old woman. I am a pretty GGG gal. I am generally not put off easily, even if I am told things that don’t quite do it for me. So I just started seeing this guy. I haven’t known him for long—no serious sexual activity other than mild foreplay. The […]
Posted inLifestyle
Don’t be doomed to lousy sex
QI’m a young, straight feminist male, and I’ve been dating my feminist girlfriend monogamously for almost two years. Recently, I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I am turned on by rape fantasies. Of course, I find the idea of actual rape repugnant, and this is probably, of course, an important reason why […]
Posted inLifestyle
The honesty policy
Q My boyfriend of almost two years broke up with me yesterday over the fact that I used to be an escort. He went through my emails and saw that I was answering ads, putting ads up, sending photos. We had been planning a future together, talking about moving in, getting married, having kids. And […]
Posted inLifestyle
Double toil and trouble
Q I’m a 23-year-old bi dude seeing a guy who is intelligent, sweet, attractive—the works. We’ve been together for six weeks. The problem is, after our first night together, I lost sexual interest in him. When I do get horny—which is rare at the moment due to work pressures—I prefer to beat off alone, because […]
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Running on empty
Q My husband and I have been married for one year, but we dated for 10 years prior to that. I thought we had a very understanding relationship. In the last couple of days, I have found out that he has a serious obsession with females wearing running shoes. He had in the past hinted […]
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In-flight safety tips
Q I am a girl who sabotaged my relationship. I was angry; I had complaints. But my real issue was a store of repressed childhood trauma, and I was working it out on the closest person to me, my BF. We had something magical, and I destroyed it. I am now willing to give 110 […]
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Conservative Canada
Q OK: Female, married 15 years, one young child. No sex with husband over last five years. Have tried therapy, talking, not talking, confrontation—you name it, I tried it. Lingerie, kink, porn. A year-and-a-half ago, I got into a relationship with a married guy, a man who also wasn’t getting any at home. Our agreement […]
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No woman left behind
Q I need you to settle a dispute between my husband and me. We have been married for six years. We’re not terribly adventurous, but we’re not totally vanilla, either. However, there is one issue that is driving me insane: My husband constantly pesters me to have anal sex. We have tried it in the […]
Posted inLifestyle
Flush with Advice
Q My boyfriend and I have agreed to abide by whatever decision you make. We’ve been together for nine months. We are gay. We live in a college town. We both found jobs here after we graduated, so we stayed. Since his sophomore year, my boyfriend has had an “arrangement” with an older man, a […]