Dan Savage

Q Longtime reader, first-time mailer. A long while ago, you wrote an incredible piece of general advice for teenage boys. The advice was so excellent that I clipped it out to keep in case I ever had a son. Well, years later, I have a son. But I have since moved a gazillion times and […]

Q My boyfriend and I have “history.” We dated casually and weren’t ready to stop seeing other people, so we had an open relationship. This phase was awful: lots of fights, a couple of minor breakups and eventually I called it quits for good, cutting off all contact. A month later, we started talking again […]

Q Ever since hearing you say on your podcast that all men use porn, I have had a burning question: What about us women? If all men get a pass to have this whole other sex life, which is (mostly) external to their partnerships and is sexually satisfying, then I think all women should have […]

Q My partner spends a good deal of time seeking out pictures of very young girls to masturbate to. Nothing illegal, he says, but still… He admits to having a 20-year-plus addiction to porn, and with that particular addiction, he says, comes the need to continue upping the taboo factor in order to get off. […]

Q My boss lives and works in a different city, but most of her mail arrives at my office because it is the company’s official address. I routinely open mail and packages addressed to her. Usually they contain documents for me to handle or software for me to install, but today I opened a package […]

Q My husband of eight years confessed to wanting to watch me with another man. I asked if he meant it. He said yes. I asked if he wanted me to set it up. He said yes. I found a guy, and he agreed to a full STD screening—at my husband’s suggestion and our expense—so […]

Q My husband was 28 when I met him and a virgin. When we started having sex, he opened up about being “different.” He wanted to wear panties, he wanted me to have sex with other men, he wanted me to make fun of his tiny penis. Didn’t love the stuff, but whatever. Now it’s […]

Q I’m a straight male college student in a relationship which had been going great. The only incongruity was that, for a religious reason, I don’t want to have penetrative vaginal sex before marriage. I’m up for anything else—I would eat her out, piss on her—but not vaginal sex. I made this clear at the […]

Q Where can a straight guy find a transsexual woman who is NOT a hooker and just wants to be friends (with benefits)? I know of one club where they hang, but they are mostly hookers there. I would like to go someplace where I could meet one and see if we could hit it […]

Q One of my best friends at college is gay. I’m a straight female and I’m in a committed relationship with my own boyfriend. We’re going to be sophomores in the fall, and I feel like this is about the age where coming out to one’s parents is in order. However, my friend’s parents are […]

Q I’m a mostly gay male with a boyfriend who is also mostly gay. We are into BDSM—we are both tops and sometimes play with other sub men. I say we are “mostly” gay because we do like to fuck/top submissive women once in awhile. We haven’t done this a lot, and never together because […]