Q I’ve been married four years and have a beautiful baby boy with my husband. I enjoy sex a lot, even a bit of BDSM. My husband, on the other hand, isn’t “driven by sex,” as he likes to put it, and will try tying me up if that’s what I “really want.” You’d think […]
Savage Love
Posted inLifestyle
The monogamy files
Q I am a happily married, happily non-monogamous male. We are not wild swinger types. For us it’s more about the fact that monogamy does not work than about nailing everything that walks by. Anyway, I have encountered an odd situation a few times now, and again last night, where I’ll be flirting with a […]
Posted inLifestyle
Domination dynamics
Q I am a 30-year-old woman, married for five years to a man eight years my senior. Lately I have become more aware that I am turned on by the idea of bondage, specifically men locked up in chastity devices. I am ashamed of myself because it seems perverse and disturbed. My husband is a […]
Posted inLifestyle
You gotta make the move
Q I’m a 20-year-old girl, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend, who is 23, for two years. From the get-go, he has known that I am bi, and like most straight guys, he’s happy to be with a girl who likes girls. The thing is, I am too shy to go out and hit on […]
Posted inLifestyle
Questioning the validity
Q I’m a 67-year-old woman, almost 68, who has been married four times—once widowed (with three kids in their 40s who’ve turned out pretty well), divorced three times. I recently met someone online: 48, a wealthy, educated man with two boys, 12 and 14. He lives the cuckholdt lifestyle and is looking for a woman […]
Posted inLifestyle
The truth about asexuality
Q As a 43-year-old single gay guy, I recently had my first spanking experience and am feeling extreme self-loathing. I was in a long-term vanilla relationship for most of my adult life and never got to experience anything kinky, but I’ve had an interest in it. Long story short, I answered an online ad, went […]
Posted inLifestyle
Equal opportunity pain
Q I love my boyfriend of three years, but I fucked up. We’ve had our ups and downs—he broke up with me for two months last summer because he said he was “young and needs to feel free”—but we’ve always worked through things. He is super-supportive of me, and we’ve both really grown together as […]
Posted inLifestyle
The case for legalizing sex work
Q Do you think post-op transgender people have any obligation to tell their lovers they were once the other sex? —On the Fence A Yes. Q I’m in my 40s and straight. My wife of nine years is no longer interested in sex. Period. I haven’t had a blowjob in about eight years, I can’t […]
Posted inLifestyle
Being a selfish bitch is good!
Q: I’m a 25-year-old straight female. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for only a few months, but we fell in love fast. He is a caring person, and I want to make this last. However, he doesn’t turn me on. It has nothing to do with looks—he’s gorgeous—but rather with the fact that I am […]
Posted inLifestyle
Etiquette for threesomes
Q: I am a fairly successful man. I don’t make bank like Wall Streeters back in the day, but I haven’t been hungry since college. My girlfriend is younger. We met when she was in grad school. Like many recent grads, she’s not steadily employed, in debt and driving an unsafe car. So I support […]
Posted inLifestyle
Shit happens
Q: I am a 28-year-old straight woman who has been dating a 24-year-old straight male for two months. Recently, I gave him oral sex while he was seated naked on my couch. The next day, as I went to sit on the couch, I noticed a brown stain on the cushion that looked highly suspicious. […]
Posted inLifestyle
An intense sense of romance
Q: I’m a 32-year-old, very attractive, very fit SWM living in NYC. I’m well-read and well-spoken. I march to the beat of my own drum. Friends tell me that my personality is intense. It must be true—everyone concurs. I’m extremely idealistic, and I count myself as a romantic. I’m interested in an intense and consuming […]
