Haligonians share their most memorable Walks of Shame

Raise your hand if you’ve been there: It’s the morning after, and you’re still dressed in the same clothes you wore last night. You’re not at home. Last night’s pursuit of a good time has left you looking and feeling like a snowbank in March—a little haggard, ready to melt into a puddle and in dire need of a good shower. The “walk of shame” is a near rite of passage for almost all of us, at one point in time or another. (Not that there’s any shame in it, either.) And judging by the responses you shared in The Coast’s annual Sex + Dating Survey, it’s an experience most of us Haligonians have survived—even if we’d like to forget all about it.

Not all walks of shame or hook-up related hijinx are worth remembering. Thankfully, there’s a lot to be said for humour’s ability to smooth over life’s rough edges. And these stories from Coast readers are just that. Find some of the best responses to our prompt, “Tell us a story of your most memorable Walk of Shame” below:

*Disclaimer: This story contains graphic language*

“I had to go to work the day after an office outing where I had very drunken sex all night with the boss. Neither of us had time to change our clothes.”

“My car broke down and I had to call my dad.”

“A neighbour’s kid asked me why I was getting home so late that morning in my work clothes.”

“Coming in the door and running into my extended family having breakfast.”

“I got caught giving oral outdoors by three people.”

“Got drunk, had a one-night stand, walked home, locked myself out. I had to call the building manager to let me in.”

“Hooked up with a guy, super drunk when we got to his apartment. I left his room the next morning and met his mom vacuuming.”

“PEI, winter, miniskirt, 5am.”

“I don’t know if it was the act of doing something gay, or the fact that giving my first blowjob involved getting a mouthful of smegma because he was the kind of uncut where the foreskin didn’t pull back. Anyways, I was staying at my brother’s, and oddly enough his gay roommate knew the guy I hooked up with, and so there was the whole coming out and no longer being a virgin.”

“Picture this: Halloween 2022. I’m wearing my roommate’s nearly see-through Zara button-down and a yellow plaid skirt. It is cold and I’ve lost my bus pass. I spill a cup of Uncommon Grounds coffee on myself waiting for my chariot to the north end and the guy doesn’t let me on. I walk home.”

“I got caught fucking my girlfriend’s mum.”

“His wife showed up two days early. I had to walk down the long hallway and then out the door with half of my clothing.”

“In Munich after Oktoberfest while wearing a dirndl.”

“Had to learn a whole new way to tie an accessory scarf just to cover up a hickey at work—from sneaking around with a coworker from another department.”

“I ended up in an hotel room with a dude I had met that night. He couldn’t get an erection and fell asleep. I snuck out of the room with my high heels in my hands and there was a cute family in the hallway. I ended up walking back home with my clubbing outfit and high heels at 8am.”

“Walking down Barrington at 8am on a Wednesday with my shirt buttons ripped off to catch a bus because I lost my credit card at the Palace.”

“Was travelling with a really hot girl I thought was interested in me. Once we got to our hotel, I walked out onto the balcony to have a smoke. Look over and she is standing in her window slapping the snapper. I believe she’s doing it for my benefit. So I strip down to my underwear, and I have a huge erection sticking up above the waistband. I go and knock on her door, figuring I’m going to the glory land, but she answers the door in a housecoat and it’s obvious now that she is not into me that way at all—and I’m standing in the hotel hallway in my underwear with a raging boner. I had to face her the next morning as we still had to spend the next three days together. I was so embarrassed and felt awful for putting her in that position.”

“Needed to call a buddy as my car got towed overnight at her place.”

“No way I’m putting that in print.”

“Would have been around 6am and a block from home—some stoned-out-of-his-mind guy was yelling at the top of his lungs and masturbating furiously in plain sight. I made an immediate detour to avoid the possibility of getting seen by him.”

“My friend had to pick me up from this place deep in Montebello in Dartmouth, and hooking up was so good but my body was spent. I had to sit on my jacket at Smitty’s for hungover brunch that morning.”

“They are all walks of pride.”