Valentine’s season is upon us, so The Coast has a gift for you—the 2025 Sex + Dating Survey results. This annual Halifax heat map is like a Cupid’s arrow that gets right to the heart of local desire. Deliberately anonymous to encourage honest full disclosure, it provides a window into local bedrooms, a look at wishes, a glimpse of dreams, plus funny stories of dates gone wrong.
The data provided by hundreds of you taking the time to answer the survey offers truths that some people might find hard to swallow. South of us, American Cheeto-in-charge Don Trump has a binary view of the word that would deny the one in 10 of you (9.7%) who don’t identify as man or woman, and it just might blow the rest of his mind to hear four out of 10 of you (42.3%) don’t identify as heterosexual. Finding these facts is a big reason we do the survey every year—the other big reason being that it’s fun—and we thank the people who filled out the survey for helping us all learn more.
We put together most of the survey results below, with a few links to separate posts for answers from the story questions. Numbers have been crunched for the analytical questions, about gender identity for example, or “Have you ever hit on someone at work?” (61.7% of respondents said yes). For the anecdotal questions, we asked you to give too much information, as in the realest and spiciest stories, but with hundreds of people answering that becomes literally too much information—millions of words to sort through—so we give a collection of our favourite answers.
Questions and answers, both below and linked, can be raunchy, profane and raw, complete with dirty language and descriptions. If that’s going to be a problem for you, consider yourself warned: Pull out now, you shouldn’t read any further. For the rest of you, let’s get into it.
AMOUROUS ANECDOTES
Related
Tongue-tied: Haligonians dish on the most cringe-worthy things they’ve said—and heard—during sex
Related
Baring it all: Haligonians confess their sexual secrets
SEX + DATING + DATA
Who are you?
Have you ever…
Let’s talk about hotties…
Let’s talk about hook-ups…
Let’s talk about dating…
Let’s talk about sex…
Who are you?
My gender identity is…
Woman – 48.8%
Man – 46.7%
Nonbinary – 5.9%
None of the above – 2.1%
Transgender – 1.7%
My sexual orientation is…
Straight/heterosexual – 57.7%
Bi – 20.3%
Queer – 9.4%
Gay/lesbian – 8.7%
I don’t like labels – 8.7%
Pansexual – 6.3%
Asexual – 4.9%
Not sure right now/questioning – 2.1%
Other – 0.3%
I am a…
Switch – 50%
I don’t know – 22.4%
Bottom – 14.8%
Top – 12.8%
My relationship status is…
Married – 29.2%
Single-and-looking – 16.2%
Dating – 15.9%
Common-law – 13%
Single-and-not-looking – 7.2%
Divorced – 4.3%
Separated – 3.2%
Open relationship – 2.9%
Complicated – 2.5%
Polyamorous/in a polycule – 2.5%
Serial monogamist – 1.8%
Open marriage – 1.1%
In my relationship(s) I am…
Happy – 61.4%
N/A – 23.5%
Lost – 6.3%
Restless and looking – 4.6%
Cheating – 2.5%
In love with someone else – 1.1%
Keen to end it – 0.7%
My age is…
25-35 – 24.7%
36-45 – 21.5%
46-55 – 18.8%
56-65 – 16.3%
66 and over – 11.8%
18-24 – 6.9%
I first became sexually active…
Under 18 – 57.6%
18-24 – 39.6%
25-35 – 1.7%
26-45 – 0.3%
66 and over – 0.3%
Not yet – 0.3%
46-55 – 0%
56-65 – 0%
The number of partners I’ve been with is…
1-10 – 42.4%
11-30 – 29.2%
31-50 – 10.8%
Who can remember? – 10.8%
51-100 – 6.9%
0 – 0%
I live in…
Dartmouth – 20.1%
North end – 14.2%
Out of town – 12.5%
Clayton Park/Fairview – 10.4%
South end – 9%
Quinpool/west end – 6.2%
Downtown/Barrington/waterfront – 5.6%
Spryfield/Herring Cove/Prospect – 5.6%
Bedford – 4.9%
Hammonds Plains/Timberlea/Tantallon – 3.8%
Sackville – 3.5%
Eastern Shore – 2.4%
Cole Harbour – 1.7%
In the work world I am…
Employed full time – 62.6%
Retired – 17.6%
A contract worker/freelancer – 5.9%
Employed part time – 5.5%
A student – 4.5%
Unemployed – 3.8%
Politically I swing…
NDP – 38.5%
Liberal – 25.3%
A brick – 13.9%
Progressive Conservative – 10.8%
Green – 4.2%
Conservative Party – 3.8%
With Jesus – 3.1%
PPC – 0.3%
Have you ever…
Been on a blind date?
Yes – 31.5%
No – 68.5%
Been in a long-term relationship?
Yes – 95.8%
No – 4.2%
Been in love?
Yes – 96.2%
No – 4.9%
Cheated or been cheated on?
Both – 29.2%
Neither – 27.1%
Yes, I’ve been cheated on – 24.7%
Yes, I’ve cheated – 19.1%
Bailed on an engagement?
Yes – 11%
No – 89%
Hooked up with a friend’s ex?
Yes – 39.4%
No – 60.6%
Dated a friend’s ex?
Yes – 28.7%
No – 71.3%
Fantasized about a friend’s ex or current partner?
Yes – 63.6%
No – 36.4%
Hooked up with an ex’s close friend?
Yes – 33%
No – 67%
Dated an ex’s close friend?
Yes – 20%
No – 80%
Fantasized about an ex’s close friend or partner’s close friend?
Yes – 54.9%
No – 45.1%
Hooked up with an ex’s family member?
Yes – 10.4%
No – 89.6%
Dated an ex’s family member?
Yes – 5.2%
No – 94.8%
Fantasized about an ex’s family member or partner’s family member?
Yes – 32.1%
No – 67.9%
Been caught having sex or masturbating?
Yes – 54.7%
No – 45.3%
Been someone else’s sneaky link?
Yes – 39.2%
No – 60.8%
Had a one-night stand?
Yes – 81.1%
No – 18.9%
Had sex on a first date?
Yes – 69.4% (ha!)
No – 30.6%
Had sex with a friend?
Yes – 63.9%
No – 36.4%
Had a pregnancy scare?
Yes – 51.4%
No – 48.6%
Hit on someone at work?
Yes – 61.7%
No – 38.3%
Hooked up with or dated someone from work?
Neither – 40.5%
Yes, hooked up – 28.9%
Both – 19.9%
Yes, dated – 10.7%
Hooked up with a celebrity?
Yes – 6.2%
No – 93.8%
Internet dated?
Yes – 62.5%
No – 37.5%
Lied about yourself on a dating profile?
Yes – 14.9%
No – 85.1%
Slid into someone’s DMs?
Yes – 34%
No – 66%
Successfully slid into someone’s DMs?
Yes – 23.1%
No – 76.9%
Ghosted or been ghosted by a date?
Neither – 40.3%
Both – 28.6%
Yes, I’ve been ghosted – 20.3%
Yes, I’ve ghosted – 10.7%
Sent or received nudes?
Both – 54.4%
Neither – 25.8%
Yes, received nudes – 11.5%
Yes, sent nudes – 8.4%
Performed or received oral sex?
Both – 91.4%
Yes, performed – 5.9%
Neither – 1.4%
Yes, received – 1.4%
Performed or received anal sex?
Neither – 37.9%
Yes, received – 24.8%
Yes, performed – 19.3%
Both – 17.9%
Eaten ass or had your ass eaten?
Neither – 41.9%
Both – 29.1%
Yes, eaten ass – 11.8%
Yes, had my ass eaten – 11.8%
I wish! – 5.5%
Had group sex?
Yes – 28.9%
No – 71.1%
Paid or been paid for sex?
Neither – 83.2%
Yes, I’ve paid – 13.7%
Yes, I’ve been paid – 2.1%
Both – 1%
Used toys in the bedroom?
Yes – 82.8%
No – 17.2%
Made a sex tape?
Yes – 31.3%
No – 68.7%
Watched, read or listened to porn?
Yes – 95.2%
No – 4.8%
Let’s talk about hotties…
Where are Nova Scotia’s most attractive people?
Halifax – 62.6%
I don’t know where, but it sure ain’t here – 17.9%
Annapolis Valley – 9.9%
South Shore – 3.7%
Cape Breton – 2.9%
Eastern Shore – 1.1%
Antigonish – 0.7%
Pictou – 0.7%
Truro – 0.4%
Who are the hottest Haligonians?
North end hipsters – 11.5%
Dartmouthians – 10.7%
Doctors, nurses and med students – 10.7%
Farmer’s market regulars – 10.7%
Musicians – 9.1%
Restaurant workers – 6.3%
Hal-Con nerds – 5.1%
Bedford suburbans – 4.7%
Navy sailors – 4%
Librarians – 3.2%
Salty sea dogs – 3.2%
Eco-friendly vegans – 2.8%
NSCAD artists – 2.8%
Surfers – 2.8%
Downtown lawyers – 2.4%
Jocks – 2%
SackVegas, baby – 1.6%
Lobster fishers – 1.2%
Other – 5.5%
What’s the first thing you’re attracted to?
Looks – 39.3%
Personality – 33.3%
Sense of humour – 21.8%
Availability – 2.1%
Age – 1.4%
Job – 0%
Wealth – 0%
Other – 2.1%
How much does a partner’s height matter to you?
Not at all – 45.2%
I prefer to be the shorter one – 32%
I prefer to be the taller one – 13.1%
If one of us needs a stool, it ain’t working – 9.6%
How much does a partner’s weight matter to you?
It matters a little – 46.9%
As long as they’re happy – 25.7%
Not at all – 16.3%
It matters a lot – 11.1%
Let’s talk about hook-ups…
What’s your favourite way to meet potential lovers?
I won’t limit myself to a single method – 48%
Through my friends – 19.4%
Online – 11.8%
Through my hobbies/interests – 10.8%
At clubs or bars – 5.4%
At work/school – 3.2%
Other – 1.4%
What’s the best place in Halifax to meet a potential partner?
“House parties.”
“Shakespeare by the Sea.”
“Anywhere classy that has oysters—Dear Friend, Lot 6, Press Gang.”
“Busy bars.”
“Church.”
“Harbour boardwalk.”
“Walking my dog at the park.”
“Downtown.”
“Workout class.”
“On the ferry.”
“The Dome.”
“Union rally.”
“The library.”
“I have met my past partners going to drop off a purse for repair, at a friend’s for supper, ad for a handyperson (my dream was to be with someone who had fix-it skills but it ended up being a nightmare).”
“Dating apps.”
“Shaar Shalom.”
“Seahorse Tavern/The Marquee.”
“On campus.”
“Atlantic Tennis Centre.”
“Pete’s Frootique.”
“Hal-Con.”
“Any cafe or bar that’s queer friendly, unique, clean.”
“Concerts.”
“Yoga class.”
“Sobeys First Lake.”
“GIRL IF I KNEW !!!.”
Let’s talk about dating…
Is Halifax a good city to be single in?
Yes – 58%
No – 42%
It’s best to ask someone out…
In person – 62.1%
By text – 24.2%
Calling on the phone – 8.1%
With a DM – 5.6%
Through a friend – 0%
How much older a person would you ask out?
Up to five years older – 26.2%
Age ain’t nothing but a number, baby – 25.2%
Up to 10 years older – 23.4%
Around my age – 11.5%
Has to be younger than me – 10.5%
Don’t ask, don’t tell – 3.1%
How much younger a person would you ask out?
Up to 10 years younger – 26.5%
Up to five years younger – 23.8%
Around my age – 21.9%
I respect the half-your-age-plus-seven rule – 11.7%
If Leonardo DiCaprio can do it, so can I – 13%
Has to be older than me – 3.1%
When dating someone new, how long before you go for a kiss?
I decide on a case-by-case basis – 40.3%
First date – 34.8%
Second date – 12.1%
I let the other person make the first move – 7.2%
Third date – 4.8%
Fourth date or later – 0.7%
How soon do you have sex in a new relationship?
Depends on the person and how we both feel – 69% ð¯
Third date – 10.5%
First date – 9.4%
Fourth date or later – 6.6%
Second date – 4.2%
Not until marriage – 0.3%
What’s your tragic dating flaw?
I’m too attached – 29.6%
I’m a self-sabotager – 23%
I’m attracted to hot messes – 17.7%
I’m too unattached – 16%
I’m a hot mess – 5.3%
Other – 8.2%
Where do you most like to go on a first date?
To a cafe – 28%
To a cocktail bar/brewery – 23.3%
For a walk – 17.5%
For a meal at a restaurant – 15.7%
Somewhere we can be active together – 5.6%
To a sports game – 2.1%
Home for dinner – 1.7%
Sightseeing – 1.7%
To a movie – 1.4%
To a play – 1%
Other – 1.4%
Who pays on the first date?
Split the bill – 40.7%
I always do – 29.8%
Whoever asked – 23.5%
I never do – 6%
What can your date do to impress you most?
Make me laugh – 44.4%
Be curious about me – 42%
Dress up – 3.5%
Make me orgasm – 3.1%
Smell good – 3.1%
Flatter me – 1%
Pay for everything – 0.7%
Other – 2.1%
What is the best topic to discuss on a first date?
Current events – 27.4%
Professional life – 18.1%
Music – 13.7%
Movies – 11.9%
Sex – 3.7%
Politics – 2.6%
TV – 2.6%
Dating history – 2%
Sports – 1.9%
Religion – 0.7%
Social media – 0.7%
Videos – 0%
Other – 14.4%
What is the worst topic to discuss on a first date?
Dating history – 32.5%
Politics – 24.3%
Religion – 12.5%
Sports – 9.6%
Sex – 8.2%
Current events – 2.9%
Social media – 2.9%
TV – 1.4%
Videos – 1.1%
Movies – 0.7%
Music – 0%
Professional life – 0%
Other – 3.9%
What’s the most common mistake made on dates?
Talking about oneself too much – 30.1%
Talking about exes – 19.2%
Being rude to waitstaff – 18.5%
Being inconsiderate – 16.8%
Being too forward – 4.9%
Being miserly – 4.2%
Dressing poorly – 2.8%
Bringing a present – 0.7%
Other – 2.8%
What’s the biggest dealbreaker for getting into a relationship?
Intelligence or lack thereof – 24.1%
No common interests – 22%
Body odour – 18.5%
Political differences – 16.8%
Cultural/religious divides – 5.9%
Bad kissing – 5.2%
Bad sex – 4.5%
Educational divides – 0.7%
Eating habits – 0.3%
No fashion sense – 0%
Other – 1.7%
At what point do you get exclusive with the person?
I take that one case-by-case – 73.3%
After we have sex – 12.8%
After three dates – 5.6%
I don’t get exclusive – 5.6%
After two dates – 1.7%
After one date – 1%
How many people have you dated at one time?
One only – 44.1%
Two – 27.6%
Three – 17.2%
I don’t keep track, it’s all kind of fluid – 7.2%
Four or more – 3.8%
How long do you need to date someone before you know you’re in love?
Four or more dates, you need to get to know the other person – 89.7%
One date, it’s gotta be instant – 5%
Three dates – 4.3%
Two dates – 1.1%
How long do you need to date someone before you know it’s not going to work out?
One date, I can tell right away – 39.6%
Four or more dates, sometimes it takes a while to figure out – 25.3%
Two dates – 22.8%
Three dates – 12.3%
How honest are you in your online dating profile?
Completely honest – 44.3%
I don’t have an online dating profile – 35.6%
Maybe a slight stretch or two of the truth – 19.4%
I’m a serial liar – 0.7%
What’s the most important part of a relationship?
Trust – 55.2%
Intimacy – 13.9%
Commitment – 11.8%
Passion – 6.9%
Compromise – 5.9%
Money – 0%
Other – 6.2%
Let’s talk about sex…
When dating someone, how long before you have sex?
I decide on a case-by-case basis – 67%
First date – 12.5%
Fourth date or later – 7.3%
Third date – 6.6%
Second date – 6.2%
I am saving myself for marriage – 0.3%
Historically my best sex has been with…
My longtime partner/lover – 56.6%
My fuck-buddy/friends with benefits – 24.9%
My ex – 8.2%
Someone I met that night – 5.3%
A professional – 0.4%
Other – 4.6%
Lights on or off?
On – 50.2%
Off – 49.8%
In the last year, have you had sex outdoors in Halifax?
No – 58.1%
I wish – 21.6%
Yes – 16.2%
I wouldn’t – 4.1%
What memory do you still masturbate to?
“Fucking my boss.”
“Riding a one-night stand completely naked except for cowboy boots.”
“The best oral sex I ever received, because it was from an ex—and it was a complete surprise.”
“First time my husband finished in me.”
“Getting railed by two different guys.”
“A specific rope play scene from my past.”
“Sex with my hot adult neighbour when I was underage.”
“A steamy DM conversation with someone I don’t really know.”
“My ex absolutely railing me, hair wrapped around his hand and head pulled back, while he’s saying the most depraved filth the entire time. Gush.”
“Seeing my girlfriend having sex with others while I was too.”
“Painting on my lover’s body.”
“Had sex on my couch during the day with the curtains open when everyone was getting home from work, and my apartment faces the front door and parking lot.”
“Thinking about my ex-wife’s big round ass.”
“A woman squirting all over me.”
“An ex coming from the shower into where I was watching TV (I arrived while she was showering) and she straddled me with just a towel on—to start.”
“Blowing my fuck buddy.”
“My first jack-off buddy.”
“Hookups with best friends decades ago.”
“Grinding on dudes’ faces.”
“A threesome I had with a man and another woman.”
“The first time she came for me, she just soaked my forearm. I wasn’t expecting it and it was DELIGHTFUL.”
“Two sisters.”
“High school friend’s older sister I used to mess around with.”
“My ex and I getting it on 69.”
“My wife taking me orally when she thought I was being hit on by another woman.”
“Sex outdoors with multiple people.”
“Light porn I read years ago.”
“My engaged classmate.”
“Strapping from behind for the first time.”
“Threesome I bailed on.”
In the last year, have you engaged in bondage?
No – 60.2%
Yes – 25.3%
I wish – 10.7%
I wouldn’t – 3.8%
How kinky are you?
I experiment a bit – 47.6%
I need to act on my kinks more – 13.5%
Not at all – 13.5%
Kinky as the Chebucto-Windsor intersection – 10.4%
I experiment a lot – 8.7%
I don’t act on my kinks – 6.2%
How satisfying is your current sex life?
Pretty hot, but there’s room for improvement – 27.1%
I’m not having sex at the moment – 25.3%
Needs some spice – 14.9%
About average – 12.8%
The best ever – 11.5%
Totally unsatisfying – 8.3%
How often do you have sex?
I don’t really have much sex – 34.3%
A couple times a week – 33.2%
Maybe a few times a month – 30.4%
Every day – 2.1%
How often do you wish you had sex?
A couple times a week – 56.7%
Every day – 20.6%
Maybe a few times a month – 18.6%
I don’t really want much sex – 4.1%
How many times do you masturbate in a typical week?
Once – 20.3%
I don’t – 20%
Twice – 19%
Three times – 15.2%
Five times – 8.3%
Four times – 7.6%
My hands are too busy to count that high – 5.2%
Seven times – 3.4%
Six times – 1%
How often do you watch, read or listen to porn?
A couple times a week – 26%
A few times a month – 25.3%
A few times a year – 20.8%
Never – 15.2%
Most days of the week – 9%
Every day – 3.8%
How do you feel about dirty talk?
I’m into it – 47.8%
I’m open to it, depending on the mood – 25.6%
I never know what to say – 16.3%
I’m not into it – 10.4%
What inaccurate thing about sex did you believe was true for too long?
“All women like it up the ass.”
“It’s the main way a man shows you that he loves you.”
“Circumcision prevents STIs.”
“Threesomes are difficult to do.”
“Guys wouldn’t want to fuck me if I didn’t fake my orgasms.”
“Pain during sex is normal.”
“Foreplay isn’t sex.”
“Oral sex can get you pregnant.”
“Women don’t like sex and I must be a slut.”
“Squirting was fake.”
“You have to love the person.”
“All men want to finish every time.”
“Men expect you to orgasm every time.”
“Less sex as you age is normal.”
“Men don’t like going down on women.”
“Losing virginity destroys attraction.”
“It was a sin to enjoy it.”
“It’s hard for a woman to orgasm.”
“If a guy lets you crash for the night, you have to have sex with him. Nope, only predators think that!”
“Bigger means better.”
“Women only have one kind of orgasm.”
“Avoiding oral sex was the norm.”
“My (male) orgasm was more important than hers.”
“Sex with condoms feels the same as without for girls.”
“Masturbation can negatively impact your fertility.”
“More partners makes a man.”
“Professionals are off-limits.”
“It was rude to touch yourself as a woman during sex.”
“Blue balls is a real medical emergency.”
“A man’s orgasm was always more important than a woman’s.”
Related Stories
Tongue-tied: Haligonians dish on the most cringe-worthy things they’ve said—and heard—during sex
Baring it all: Haligonians confess their sexual secrets
Final fantasy: Haligonians spill on what they want to do sexually before they die
Haligonians share the most cringe-worthy things they’ve heard on a date
Haligonians share their worst dates
Haligonians share their most memorable Walks of Shame
This article appears in Feb 1-28, 2025.