Q I’m a 31-year-old cis bisexual woman. I’m hetero-romantic and in a monogam-ish relationship with a man. We play with other people together. I’ve never liked giving blowjobs because I was taught that girls who give blowjobs are “sluts.” Phrases that are meant to be insulting like “You suck,” “Suck it,” “Go suck a dick,” […]
Dan Savage
Posted inLifestyle
Prone to failure
Q I’m 20, straight, male, fit and active. I masturbated prone—flat on my stomach—for years. I’ve now changed to a more traditional position (on my back or sitting upright), and I’m using my hand rather than grinding against a mattress. I can easily orgasm when I masturbate. I’ve had sex four times in my life, […]
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A peg above the rest
Q My boyfriend and I were having relationship issues until we tried something new: pegging. He wanted to try it, but he was afraid and sometimes said the idea disgusted him. Then we tried it, and it was better than normal vanilla or even kinky bondage sex. It was the most emotionally connected sex we’ve […]
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Cam what may
Q I started reading your column when I was a 20-year-old kid. Now I’m an old married lady with 20 years of blissful monogamy behind me. My oldest daughter, who is 23, just came out to me as a sex worker. She’s been making a slim living as a cam girl. She recently graduated with […]
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Giving—and taking back—the threesome rain cheque
Q I’m a 33-year-old woman in a relationship with a 43-year-old man. My boyfriend’s fantasy is to have a threesome with another man. He enjoys watching me have sex with other men, then intermittently fucking me. But he mostly likes to watch me get fucked. Recently, we met up with a man for the first […]
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The long game
Q I’m a 30-year-old bi male. I’ve been with my wife for five years, married nine months. A month into our relationship, I let her know that watching partners with other men has always been something I wanted and that sharing this had caused all my previous relationships to collapse. Her reaction was the opposite […]
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Sexual healing in the sub space
Q I’m a 26-year-old bisexual woman with a history of self-harm. It hasn’t been much of an issue for the last few years, but my sex life has improved a lot in that time. I realized that I am quite submissive and masochistic, and I have found a wonderful dominant partner who I’ve gotten to […]
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Short (and sweet) Qs and As
Q I have a question about porn, and I can’t think who else I can ask that will give me an intelligent, educated answer. In modern porn, anal on women is gaining popularity. I’m a fan of anal with my boyfriend. However, in porn, it seems like the gaping asshole is a thing, a sought […]
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Open communication
Q I’m a mid-20s cis straight man. After my girlfriend and I finished college, she moved overseas to start her job. We’ve broken up twice and gotten back together twice. We are interested in opening up our relationship, but I have reservations. She wants the freedom to throw herself into her new world without the […]
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Bloody business
Q I am a 60-year-old heterosexual man, and I’m told that I’m normal. I have been to several urologists, and they say I have no medical issues. But I’m having a hard time buying it, because for the last six months, my ejaculate has been extremely bloody. This is embarrassing, especially since oral sex—giving and […]
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Taming the kink monsters
Q My husband and I (straight male/bi female couple) have been married 15 years. When we met, he was inexperienced and crippled by shame from having grown up in a sex-negative atmosphere. I was happy to get him involved in some more adventurous stuff—but he quickly became obsessed with kink and shows no sign of […]
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Quick and dirty Qs and As
Q My ex-girlfriend, who I dated for nine months, called me two months after we broke up and accused me of giving her HPV. She was going on, telling me how I needed to tell any future person I had sex with that I have HPV. I’m a 38-year-old man, and I’ve never had any […]