Dan Savage

QI’m a 27-year-old, male, adult baby/diaper lover (AB/DL). I’ve been in the closet about my fetish since puberty. As a consequence, I never dated or became romantically involved. I thought if I buried my kink with enough shame, it would go away and I would turn normal. It didn’t work, and for the past year, […]

Savage Love Live swooped into Seattle’s Egyptian Theater and Denver’s Oriental Theater over the last two weekends. I couldn’t get to everyone’s questions at these sold-out shows—there were so many great questions and I’m just one lousy advice columnist—so I’m going to power through as many as I can in this week’s column. Q Weddings […]

Q I keep running into the same issue with my best friend of five years. (She’s also my maid of honour at my upcoming wedding.) We’re both empaths—most of my friends are—and we’re both in therapy working on how to cope with that. I have severe anxiety that impacts my physical health, so one of […]

Q Garbage human here. I’ve had herpes for about 15 years. The first five years, I was in a relationship with a guy who also had it. The last 10 years, I haven’t been in a serious relationship. I’ve been a (rare, drunk) one-night-stand type of gal, and I don’t usually tell the guy because, […]

Q I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months. Prior to dating, I was clear with him that I would need to open our relationship at some point. He initially hesitated to respond, but then agreed we could do that when the time came. That time has come much quicker than I anticipated, but […]

QMy best friend’s father is an avid user of social media. He’s retired and spends most of his day posting memes. Recently, I realized he might not know how Instagram works. I noticed that he has been following, liking and commenting on a lot of Instagram pictures of young gay men. I don’t think he […]

Q I’m a heteroflexible married cis woman in my 40s. I’m also a POS cheater and a catfish. I really fucked up. One year ago, I met an older man in an online fetish forum. He sent me an unsolicited PM, and we have talked for hours every day since then. My husband, whom I’ve […]

QI’m an adult man, and I have developed a trans attraction after following a particular Tumblr blog. That blog is now gone, sadly, since all adult content has been purged from Tumblr. It wasn’t just porn, it consisted of all the things I really enjoy—images of oil paintings and antique furniture, scenic landscapes, wild animals […]

Savage Love Live recently stormed into Revolution Hall in Portland, Oregon. I wasn’t able to get to all of the audience-submitted questions, so I’m going to power through as many as I can in this week’s column. Q How do you handle it if your partner constantly apologizes during sex? “Sorry, sorry, sorry…” A With […]

Q I’m a white woman in my early 30s. In theory, I’ve always been into men of all races—but in practice, most of my exes are Latino and white. Last fall I met a handsome Chinese American guy, and I feel like he rewired me. I’ve been exclusively attracted to Asian guys since. I’m not […]

QMy grandfather was a pillar of the community and beloved by his family. He was also sexually abusive. He died when I was a child. I remember only one incident happening to me—during a cuddle session, he encouraged me to put my mouth on his penis, then told me to let it be our little […]

QLet’s say my kink is edging and I edge myself for a few days leading up to a date. Is it my responsibility to tell my potential partner? There are a few variables here that are important to note. This is a first/Tinder date, and it’s just a coffee date, BUT she and I have […]