Dan Savage

Q I’m a gay guy in my late 40s with a straight sister in her early 50s. She’s been married for a bit over two decades to a guy who always registered as a “possible” on my average-to-good gaydar. But I put BIL, AKA my brother-in-law, in the “improbable” bucket because he actively wooed my […]

Two weeks ago, a longtime reader challenged me to create a new sexual neologism. (Quickly for the pedants: You’re right! It is redundant to describe a neologism as “new,” since neologisms are by definition new: “ne·ol·o·gism noun a newly coined word or expression.” You got me!) Neo-Neologisms, Please! was too polite to point it out, […]

Q I am a 56-year-old heterosexual man, and I have lived with ALS for the past six years. I am either in a wheelchair or in a hospital bed, and I have very little motor ability in my limbs. Like most or all male ALS patients, I still have full sensory ability, including a fully […]

Q Can I still be considered sex-positive if I personally do not have sex? I’ve never had sex or masturbated—all my life, any type of sexual stimulation has been very painful and I’ve been unable to experience orgasm. I simply get a migraine and feel mildly nauseated instead. I am not looking for a possible […]

Q I’m a 21-year-old woman, and I have an IUD for birth control. I’ve had sex with quite a few men, and one thing seems to be almost constant among them: Trying to fuck without condoms. Many of the men I’ve been with seem to be perfectly fine and terribly eager to have sex without […]

QI’m an early-30s hetero woman in a monogamous relationship with my mid-30s hetero guy. We’ve been together 10 years, married seven, no kids. We have a lot of fun—travelling, shared hobbies, mutual friends. We have sex fairly regularly, and it’s not bad. However, his primary sexual fetish and main turn-on is furry porn—namely, cartoon images. […]

Q I’m a thirtysomething straight woman married for 16 years. Eighteen months ago, I met a man and there was an immediate attraction. For the first 15 months of our relationship, I was his primary sexual and intimate partner, as both sex and intimacy were lacking in his marriage. (My husband knew of the relationship […]

Q I’m a 40-year-old guy with a 30-year-old girlfriend. We’ve been together a year, and I can see a future with her. But there are problems. This girl comes after two minutes of stimulation, be it manual, oral or penile. As someone who takes pride in my foreplay/pussy-eating abilities, this is a bummer. She gets […]

Q I’m a 19-year-old bisexual woman really into orgasm denial and edging. With the recent Tumblr ban on all NSFW content, I have no idea where to indulge my kinks and find my community. I’ve never needed to go anywhere else to find porn, explore my sexuality and be surrounded by supportive people—and now I’m […]

Q I’m a kinky single woman who keeps attracting the wrong men for me—specifically, submissive guys into face-sitting. I’m submissive myself, and face-sitting is not a turn-on for me. But the vast majority of men who hit on me have this fetish. I think it’s a size-related issue—a my-size-related issue. I’m a full-figured/curvy woman with […]

Q Straight and married but not boring, and heading to my parents’ house for our first family Christmas since my asshole MAGA brother “stumbled over” the Tumblr blog where the wife and I posted about our sexual adventures. (Pics of MMF threesomes and cross-dressing/pegging sessions, plus some dirty “true enough” stories.) My brother has always […]

Q I’m a 59-year-old man in good health. For basically my whole adult life, I’ve had this problem during intercourse with a woman of 1. Being very quick to come, and 2. Having a too-intense “cringey” sensation when I come. This has led to often going soft at the prospect of intercourse. This too-intense feeling […]