You are single handedly ruining it for women

So here’s a hint: before you start talking about how psychologically abusive people are, maybe think about your actions. For starters, throwing a frying pan at someone and then calling them a little bitch for complaining about it, because you are a female and that someone is a male, is fucking sexist Especially if that someone had to put their hands behind their back as you abused them because in this world, as a male, you are assumed guilty so you have to stand there and take it.

Next, when you told all of your girlfriends I was harassing you, you should have told them about the fact that I literally havent spoken to you in months, and the only time I did, was when you belligerently threw my expensive work stuff around, because you have a permanent chip on your shoulder and an external hard drive was “pissing you off”. Of course, you didn’t tell anyone this. You only told them that I told you off. Which I specifically did because it was the only way to stop you from destroying my shit. Again, as a male, and your unfortunate roomate, I am unable to touch you so I have to watch you break my shit. The only way I could get you to stop THROWING AROUND MY EXPENSIVE WORK SHIT, as a male, was to tell you off. I don’t regret a thing.

Thirdly, it’s not called psychological abuse if you moved in with me under the pretense of cheating on your boyfriend with me, and when I turned you down and started dating your friend, you hated me because I “stole your best friend”. First, she approached and asked me out. And no, you hate me because I turned you down and for some reason assumed I would date you when I think your boyfriend is a rad dude and could do way way better. Now, when you call me a lazy piece of shit (while I go to school and work 40 hours and you work like two days a week) and your boyfriend is around, I AM going to call you out for trying to cheat on him. Again, if you didn’t like that, maybe don’t fucking do it in the first place + verbally abuse the person you tried cheating on him with? I really wonder if you told your friends about trying to cheat on your boyfriend with me, I am guessing no. If you are reading this boyfriend- you are a cool fucking dude. I promise I am not lying. Please run away while you can.

Fourthly, I guess it’s also my fault that you cry at random times of the week, particularly when crashing from partying or when your boyfriend is not around, and then take it out on your roomates. It’s also a really, really bad idea when you tell other people that you used the words “psychologically abusive” to get out of a lease because youre too lazy to find a replacement, and that you only said that to “piss me off”. If youre going to lie, have some bit of common sense when you do it.

My biggest regret is not video-taping all the shit you have done. Rather then tell people the truth, you have decided to play the victim but in doing so have not only lied to yourself but to all of your friends. You have used being a women to try to evade taking responsibility for your actions. Karma is a bitch and I feel sorry for the people youre moving in with. I wish I had paid attention to the red flags before moving in with you. —I feel so bad for your roomates-to-be

This article appears in Jan 29 – Feb 4, 2015.