Don’t ask for honesty if you don’t want honesty. “Give me your honest opinion” does not translate to “tell me exactly what I want to hear,” except maybe when you’re translating from English to Douchebag. People go on and on about how they want the truth. But they do not. Perhaps it’s a narcissism thing. Perhaps people honestly believe they are 12 times the size of God and have serious delusions that one’s honest opinion about them or their shit will always be aggrandizing and fabulous. That if someone’s honest opinion is negative, the only thing that could mean is that that person must be the biggest asshole on the planet. Instead of one of the honest few who will tell you your breath stinks when it does. Instead of punishing these people, you should value them. They’re the only ones who will tell you what others laugh at behind your back. And believe me, they DO laugh behind your back. But you like them better because they have the connivance of character to lie to your face. The worst thing about this is that the average person reading this will go “yeah.. YEAH! Fuck yeah!!” But at the end of the day, will get just as offended when a well-meaning and merciful friend tries to tell them that gladiator shoes give them cankles or that they are completely tone deaf and can’t carry a tune. Or that they are behaving in an annoying fashion. Don’t blame someone who wants to see you do better. Blame yourself for sucking. Do something about it and get on with your life. Thank them for having the courage and dignity to gently tell you instead of getting angry because you’re not the rockstar you thought you were. Or, you know, don’t. And continue on blaming the doctor for the booster because the needle hurts. —f off
This article appears in Jul 10-16, 2014.
Still angry about the virgin thing, eh?
Just say “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all” then walk away. That way they get to draw their own conclusions without you having to say anything, It’s a bunch of passive aggressive bullshit but it works.
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Been in the situation where is asked for an honest opinion and got an assholes opinion that was honest but worded in a way that hurt my feelings and made me feel horrible about myself.. I have also been in the situation where someone asked for my honest opinion and I gave it to them only to be then yelled at for being “mean” when I wasn’t trying to being “mean”.. SO I understand both sides of this bitch.. where you a huge dick and gave an assholes honest opinion or were you nice about your honest opinion even if it wasn’t exactly what the other person wanted to hear? And do you think maybe this person might like the others more because they are nicer to them? I hate people you claim to be honest just so that can say mean things and not apologize for it.. not saying that’s you but there are tons out there.. Also maybe your friend needs a little sugar coating, doesn’t mean you can’t give your honest opinion but you can make the person feel good at the same time but that would take some interpersonal skills..