So you tell me the other day that you are leaving us. Us being myself (your fiance) and our three month old baby girl. You tell me you still love me, that you are attracted to me but that you have become resentful of family life and must leave. I believe that you are depressed, suffering male post partum depression or something and try to help you. You say you aren’t interested in help. You gave no indication, no notice, no warning. Didn’t ask for anything to change in anyway. Your family knows but haven’t offered to talk with you about it, or to help you, or to try and talk you out of it at all-They haven’t asked if I’m okay or if their beautiful three month old relative is alright. You come onto me over and over again, acting as if you are feeling better and wish to get back together, but you don’t. You say that it’s just that you still find me so attractive. WTF. —Confused
This article appears in Aug 25-31, 2011.
This is what happens when people base their relationships on looks I guess.
OP, I don’t know what the future will be for you. You might get together again, you might not.
imo, either way, bootie calls won’t help, they just confuse things.
o.p., my advice is to tell him to just go and stay gone. if he keeps coming back, and you pump cum out of him, that’s all he wants you for. there are real men, who would die for a chance to have a real family.
best thing you can do for your kids now, is to get the fuck away from here, and give him no visitation rights, to kids or your cunt.
i might not have been the best person to be around years back, but i held my family in the highest priority. i went without a lot of shit, so that they didn’t. my kids are grown now, and have families of their own, and we still love each other.
get the dude out of your mind and bed, keep him out, and find a REAL man. sorry, but the suckster is not up for grabs at present.
What’s there to be confused about here? He doesn’t want a family or responsibilities. He does want to keep having sex with you. End of story. It’s up to you how you choose to deal with it.
He’s a chicken-shit asshole with commitment issues. He’s bailing now, so he wont have to pay alimony, just child-support.
I agree with GV, bootie calls – WTF?
Too bad the two of you didn’t use birth control, starting a family before your plans and commitments are in place….
I think babies are replacing the engagement ring.
I’m not sure what it means to resent family life, yet still love you.
Does that mean he loves you and yet resents the time spent with you?
http://www.thediamondauthority.org/wp-cont…
one inserts into the other… how vividly and descriptively fitting….
It’s not as complicated as it may seem. He realizes the clear reality, fun has been replaced by family. He hasn’t matured enough to shoulder the responsibility that comes with this. He still wants you, the old you though, the one he did things with as a couple not a famliy.
What’s his family supposed to do? He’s allegedly an adult, it’s his decision to make.
Pre-baby sex versus Post-Baby sex. The dude misses the tightness, and now she’s all stretched out down there.
For once, I agree completely with Life Sucks… weird feeling.
I agree with what pretty much everyone else is saying. Booty calls are a VERY bad idea in this situation.
I think were I her, I’d go a step further and ensure payments for child support are set up and file for full custody… no visitations since he doesn’t want to be ‘the man’. You then don’t have to see him either… which takes the ‘attraction’ out of your and his hands….
Do her and Ditch her have much more consequences these days.
get on filing papers asap.
Immature and self-centred.
Better off without him. has been like that for centuries.
Make sure you get court ordered support and when he doesn’t pay garnish his earnings.
Good luck.
Punch the little boy in the face instead of banging him next time. Don’t get how fathers can’t NEED to be there for their own.
OP U stoopid.
3 months? Damn this dude just can’t hang. If he didn’t want kids he should’ve done more to prevent one from coming along. Or who knows maybe he thought he was up for it until it became a reality. This is why people need to think very carefully about reproducing and not just do it because it’s the thing to do. I hope you didn’t pressure him into it OP.
I don’t dispute that he’s a rotten prick, you gotta handle your shit.
speaking of diamonds zedman, i have officially gone right round the twist http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archiv…
oh painey… I thought you were going to post the 10 000 K dog.
don’t worry, they waited instead of ripping him open…
http://gizmodo.com/5834303/an-x+ray-showed…
and that should be 10 K, not 10 000 K as that == 10 MM
damnit.
yeah i heard about that, reminded me of snatch http://thecia.com.au/reviews/s/images/snat…
Maybe the kid is ugly?
Zed’s right — he might be able to get out of being there emotionally, but financially, he’s on the hook until your kid finishes university.
If you can’t afford a lawyer, Dalhousie Legal Aid can help you out. Most of their work is done on family-type cases.
I’m really sorry this happened to you, OP, but unfortunately I have heard of assholes who will leave their babies and their mothers when the baby is only months old. It’s sickening.
Your focus now is on you and your little one, OP. If this cocksucking asshole and his piece of shit family doesn’t want to be involved now than they’re really the shits in this situation. Start rebuilding and moving on from this shit stain and save yourself the disappointment of high hopes.
Only scum sucking slime leave their infants.
“Pre-baby sex versus Post-Baby sex. The dude misses the tightness, and now she’s all stretched out down there.”
Same thing your father probably did and you grew up to be a sissy.
OB, don’t let your daughter grow up to be a sebastian.
“Pre-baby sex versus Post-Baby sex. The dude misses the tightness, and now she’s all stretched out down there.”
Kinda like your asshole after sticking that jar of jelly up it for sexual pleasure, sebastard.
Also: did you REALLY have to post pics of yourself on the internet?
VERYNSFW
http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/at…
Grape Jelly = mashed hemorrhoids?
AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
This is gonna take fuckin’ years of therapy to forget.
what was it? The anal-juiced jar of jelly or sebastard’s hairy ass?
I wonder if he got off when the doc pulled that thing out of his bunghole?
cheese and rice pk
Giving birth is what vaginas are for! Stretched out? That’s bullshit.
It was a veritable buffet of horrors, PK. Guess I’ll be putting cheeze whiz on my toast from now on.
My aunt was an ER nurse in Montreal, and had way too many stories of broken bottles and broken broom handles in anuses. Weekly event for her she said.
Well yeah, in Montreal. Duhhh! j/k
A weekly event in Montreal, involving bottles and broom handles? Must be annies philosophers-circle-jerk. Bet he loves his grape jam.
Am I being too mean? (bats eyes innocently)
yep, put him on maintenance right away, then you will get a support check every month from the government, and the government will be responsible to chase him down instead of you.
you don’t have to wait until he stiffs you, you can have him on maintenance without any wrong doing on anyone’s part.
OP, if you weren’t all wrapped up in this situation, you would see clearly. Imagine that it’s your dear friend telling you what you just told us. You would tell her to make tracks, right?
Also, there must be some sort of ‘this guy is a dick’ site for hali (and hey, why don’t I know about it?) where you could post the specs on this cretin to warn other women.
PK-you rock. Sebastian, I can see you got your reputation as an arsehole the old fashioned way (you earned it).
John Houseman, I completely forgot about that guy. Thanks Xeno.
Actually, GV, the government will not pay maintenance out of their pocket — she has to find out where he works and the government will garnish his wages. The gov’t just acts as an intermediary.
But you have to go to court to do all that anyway.
NS legal aid or dal legal aid is her best bet if she can’t afford a lawyer. If she can than calling the lawyer referral service is her first step. She can google the number.
jesus p.f., that is a scary fucking thought there.agreeing with me, now you guys really know the world is coming to an end.
I dunno Furious:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Maternal–Chi…
WARNING, NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
Good thing I can’t have a natural birth. Planned c-sections ftw! :-|
… I mean, assuming I actually do ever get knocked up.
But since time’s quickly tickin’ away, I probably don’t have to worry about that shit.
Kitties ftw.
PS: thanks, xeno! 🙂
I’m pretty sick and tired of his bullshit. And his “jelly,” as beyonce would say, ain’t all that.
But his milkshakes brings all de bishops to his yard.
@ Tommyjules – Sheeeeeeit. That wasn’t my experience, thank the sweet sweet lord! But both kids were wee.
Thank him Furious, thank him every time you.. well you know..
I dunno how true this is but I also read that 96% of women were “less pleased” with their vagina a year after giving birth.
And when women say “having a c section to save your vagina? That’s ridiculous.” I don’t see anything ridiculous about it at all. If I could avoid my dick shrinking, in length or girth I would put up with the scar. It’s the same thing.
Maybe you’re a bitch?
Well, I feel better about not having the choice, Tommy, so thanks! LOL.
Tail bone injury, narrow pelvis and diabetes all mean I get a pre scheduled c-section. Yay!
On the downside, it *is* major surgery and sometimes can get infected and lead to IV antibiotics. As well, taking care of a baby while recovering from major surgery is a scary thought especially since it takes twice as long for me to heal.
OP walk away now. He wants all the benefits without the responsibility and if you want to do what’s best for you and you daughter then the only thing left you have to discuss with your ex is that beautiful child and support that he must give you. If he comes crawling back make him prove that he’s changed and a better man and father before giving up the goods again.
(On another note c-sections and natural birth both are not fun but I would go natural again before section)
i agree, i’d rather push than be sliced and diced
OP, quit putting out for him. Do _nothing_ for him that lessens his responsibility for that child or relieves his obligations to you. For all you know, he’s got someone else strung along and the last thing you need is to have your situation compromised further by an STI or, God forbid, another pregnancy.
What he wants and what he has for the next eighteen to sixty years are at loggerheads right now; you need to remind him – and his family – that this child is the real thing and that he needs to step up fully if he wants his daughter in his life or to be a part of hers. Sending the word out that you may be taking your daughter away to start a new life will gauge how much the family wants to be part of your little girl’s life and may get them to light a fire under her father’s ass. If the news is met with indifference, then nobody in that family deserves to be part of her world.
Honey, you chose a dud. He’s accomplished the great breed with you and now that you’re in the throes of post-pregnancy stagnation, he’s got his eye on someone else and by the sounds of it, someone specific.
Look inside yourself. this isn’t as confusing as you want to think it is. You know the score as well as i do.
Sue for support and move on. Find a nice single guy, maybe with a kid of his own, and start a happy, post divorce blended family.
OP here. He’s agreed to couples’ therapy with me and has started attending group meetings on his own. He says he loves me and our daughter but that he is feeling depressed and thinks he should leave for our sake before he loses control. He says that he’ll stay now until I am capable of raising her on my own.
Less than a month ago I was offered a dreamjob that would have meant I would have had to stop nursing. He and I talked about it and he said that I should wait until our daughter was older before returning to work full-time and I’d agreed. Now I am left with my (very) part-time job and no family here who can help watch our baby so I can work. I’m trapped. I want to help him, but I also don’t want to be hurt. I feel unimaginably sad for our daughter and depressed at what my future holds.
He never reads The Coast, either online or off, so I know he won’t recognise this as him at all.
He isn’t seeing anyone else, and since we ‘broke-up’ he’s been coming onto me almost non-stop. Weird, eh? I wish that I knew what to do.
Your first course of action should be to go get child support arranged for the security of your daughter and to file for sole custody.
Secondly, he’s clearly telling you he only wants to keep you around so he has somewhere to go when he wants to get his willy wet. Quit it with the booty calls, give him the boot and focus on raising your daughter. He’s not worth your time.