You moved in within the past 60 days. What a joy! You drop your 20 bags of garbage onto the street from your third floor balcony at 1:00 in the fucking morning on a weeknight, waking my whole house and others in the neighborhood. Now you pull in at 7 AM on a Sunday with the ultra crap hip-hop bass cranked in your car as if the whole fucking world is deaf. You mouth off at me for having balls enough to tell you the way it is. Oooo big man! Thanks so much for moving into my neighborhood!
The next time I have to call you on your adolescent bullshit you WILL have the conversation instead with my man…. very late at night, when you least expect it… when your car stereo is again loud enough to drown the terror in your voice as the lesson begins.
This article appears in May 22-28, 2008.