You should really research the illness you claim you have. We know this month’s illness is crap as we’re certain that: (a) you’re not male, and (b) your “illness” is not a result of an infection with Chlamydia, Campylobacter, Salmonella, or Yersinia. It’s funny how these illnesses come on over the weekend, but never during the week. And the symptoms aren’t congruent from day to day. One day your “condition” appears intolerable yet the next you make a significant strides in recovery. Being less than 40 years old, the number of conditions you claim to have (or have had) seems extraordinary – exceptional – peculiar. Remember telling us how when you were a kid, you threw tantrums, etc? That was attention-seeking behaviour – inappropriate attention. And it still continues? Bullshitting is unbecoming to an adult, especially one in a leadership position… —Tired of the Nonsense

This article appears in Dec 1-7, 2011.

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71 Comments

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  3. lol they do have a condition, they’re a hypochondriac. You need sensitivity training OP. *tries to keep straight face*

    I’d be looking for a new job

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  4. I had a roommate like this once.. and there is something this kind of person hates more than anything else.

    Completely ignore them.

    When they go on about how they’re dying, tell them, totally deadpan, to please leave a list of contact phone numbers. Then leave the room.

    When they talk about how they have this or that, change the subject and talk about something flippant. Like sex or how many drugs you did on the weekend, their names and relative LD50s etc.

    It won’t earn you any brownie points but maybe they’ll take their nonsense elsewhere.

    There is also the far more awkward solution. Tell her exactly what you just told us. That solution sucks but it will GUARANTEE that they will never, ever talk about their health with you again. Ever.

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  6. Hypochondria is actually a very serious anxiety disorder. To make light of it is ignorant and makes you look like a jackass. There is a difference between a liar who seeks attention and someone who is suffering from a severe anxiety disorder. I bet you think PTSD is hogwash as well….jackass.

    Luckily, Godzilla cannot be inflicted with any type of anxiety disorder due to the general bliss and anxiety free living that comes with destroying cities. Godzilla also does yoga in his free time which helps prevent stress and anxiety.

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  9. Wasn’t directed at you, but judging from the majority of your comments you are in fact a jackass. So in the end it all works out for you, me, and Godzilla.

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  10. When someone is diagnosed with hypocondria, its simple to fix.
    Give them 12 prescriptions .
    Make sure the pills are big & in bright colors.
    Make sure the names are complex & too big to fit on the presciption description on the bottle (that way they can’t look them up & find out its made of sugar & dye #4 yellow for example)
    Also make sure they are all placebo’s & the worst that can happen is they get a sugar rush from taking too many.

    THen let them ‘medicate’ themselves to der hearts contentment.

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  12. Godzilla.. Going on about health problems out of anxiety is hypochondria and is something completely different from Munchausen’s “disease”. (which is going on about health problems for attention)

    One is driven by anxiety and worry and stress and fear. The other is driven by selfishness and narcissism.

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  14. cookerguy i HATE the diagnosis of “fibromyalgia”. The symptoms are very real but this diagnosis is a doctor’s way of saying “We have no sweet fucking clue what’s wrong”

    Doctors have a way of making up vague new illnesses in cases where they simply don’t know.

    A lot of the time “fibromyalgia” is usually nerve damage, pinching or death. It’s hard to treat in the west short of severing nerves.. which is a seriously last resort.

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  15. OB, was she PMSing when she came up with those illness excuses? Likely she calls in and says “I’m bleeding profusely from my vagina. I can’t come into work today.”

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  16. Wasn’t directed at me? Right.. so who was the “you” you were referring to?

    Call me jackass, at least I’m not such a pussy I can’t stand behind something I said on a GD message board. Over sensitive little twat. Yeah, that was directed at you.

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  17. What you have OP is a compulsive liar. I have encountered several of them over my short time on earth. The best thing to do is ignore them or troll them like I_K said. This one girl I knew would not only make up health problems, but pretty much every aspect of her “life” was a lie. She would also seek attention by putting herself down, then expected you to say “Oh no way! You’re so beautiful/skinny/funny etc, etc.” I got tired of this charade and would just agree with her. “MY nose is soo big, I’m getting a nose job soon” I looked up from my work, looked at her nose, looked back down and said, “Good for you”. Oddly enough, she started to have less health problems, her parents stopped curb stomping her and she had no complaints about her body. Problem solved!

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  18. Was referring to the OB….but we can add idiot to your jackass description. u mad bra? Come at me. I’ll go giant lizard on your ass. u tough man? u tough? lets go. we can take all this pussy talk outside and dance. I’ll even give you the first shot…..mmmm hmmmm internet tough guy.

    Seriously though….you’re an idiot and a jackass. Most of your comments are dull and the majority of what you say as nothing to do with Godzilla.

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  19. I live in Highfield and drive a red, late model Impreza hatchback, only one around like it. My pic is in my avi, I ain’t hard to find. I’m far from an internet tough guy, you’re the one talking about going outside. If your comment wasn’t directed at me, fine. I however, think it was and that you’re backtracking to make yourself feel better or something. The OB said nothing of hypochondria, I did, so I really don’t see how your comment couldn’t have been at least partially made with my comment in mind, ei in response to, or directed at me. So why not just admit it? You scared?

    So what, you just lurk here, unbeknownst to us, keeping track of who says what? Sounds like you’re the jackass. So sorry if my comments aren’t up to your standards. I’m not a mission to entertain anyone.

    Now fuck off back to Tokyo you fucking pathetic trolling little prankster, Godzilla ain’t shit. King Kong was is and always will be more bad ass. Face it.

    Jesus, shame on me for even responding to your fuckery. I got work to do now.

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  20. By describing where you live and what car you drive you just made yourself out to be a pathetic internet tough guy jackass. My comment wasn’t directed at you, but again due to your e-peen you thought it was and tried to act like a tough guy. I’m a giant lizard….it would be easier for you to seek me out than for me to track you down.

    I wasn’t even out to troll, but your complete lack of intelligence made it unavoidable. If you want to get together and have a dick measuring competition then you come find me. Your anger and stupidity feed me….yummmm u mad and it taste sooooo gooood.

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  22. t.j., remember the rules here bud, DON’T FEED THE TROLLS. if you let them bother you, then they win. look at me, i don’t give a fuck about anything. hey, i’m lovin’ it.

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  25. Y’know, boys, before this goes any further…

    You would prolly like each other over a beer…

    Subject changer: I’ve been looking for a chance to share this link. this isn’t relevant, but it’ll get your weekend rolling (for those who didn’t see Prince–those that did are well on their way!)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkOQw96cfyE…

    now kick back, smoke a J and chill, K?

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  27. Giant lizards don’t like beer. They like the anger and tears of internet tough guys.

    Godzilla co-stared with one of….if not the greatest actors that ever lived…..Matthew Broderick so the point about king kong being better is rendered moot.

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  34. Not knowing the history of this person i will have to take your comments at face value OB. That she is just a lying sack like you say. However, i work for a company where work missed is not tolerated, for any reason. No paid sick days or any such other program except short term disability.

    I take great care in labelling anyone disingenuous when claiming they are ill. I see it happen too often where I work, with mid level personnel managers accusing co-workers of fakery. This happens even with evidence to the contrary. There is a culture which pervades my workplace that if you are off for any reason…its fake. Its been cultivated and encouraged by my company to shame people into working through illness, not calling in sick and thus putting the rest of the healthy workforce at risk of infection. As I said, your coworker may very will be a con artist, however…be careful with your accusations, as its just what your upper levels want. In-fighting. Remember….Its not us against us, its us against them.

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  37. actually no, sick days do not equal short term disability. STD equals 66 2/3 paid after I have 16 hours off with no pay. Paid sick days are days an employer grants to works paid at full wage. Im aware of such differences. thank you.

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  39. well where I work has short term and long term disability….
    short term is 100% paid and
    long term (only used once short term is used up and only under certain circumstance) is 60% of salary.

    where you work expects you to never, ever get sick which is nigh impossible….
    so I’d say that’s pretty shitty of them…
    and I think you’re a fool to work there.

    you’re welcome.

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  40. I guess we should just opt for the prevailing Nova Scotia attitude that, “It Could Be Worse, at least we have jobs”. Im thinking of doing up some novelty license plates…

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  41. I’m not mad, just calling this wanker’s bluff. Call me what you want but I’m no internet tough guy. Anything I say on here I’ll say to your face, I don’t care if you’re Mike Tyson circa 1983. Don’t believe me come find me.

    Ivan and Z.. I don’t even know what to say. You guys are the bee’s knees. lol check one of the comments on Rotten Tomatoes from Z’s link:

    “First of all, I saw the wonderful Japanese version. Second, Godzilla NEVER EVER EVER WON, nor was he meant to. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar and a whore.” and it goes on for like a page.

    ppls take the shit seriously it seems. I always thought Godzilla was a pansy. Anyone can stomp on tiny buildings.. and breathe fire. That shit don’t impress me

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  42. Funnily enough, the places I’ve worked at where sick days were frowned upon were the lower paying jobs like in grocery. One place required a SICK NOTE for one day missed, and I have friends who did their time in retail and have said the same thing.

    I’ve also worked in places where we were expected to find someone to cover for us if we were sick, which is complete horse shit on the part of direct management who are too lazy to do THEIR own jobs (part of being a manager is making sure shifts are covered). Now that I *am* in a supervisory position, I see the ridiculousness of this situation even more.

    Also: xeno that video was HILARIOUS. <3 <3 <3

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  43. When I saw the title “We all know you’re bullshitting” I immediately thought it was about the Bedford Beast who wears the gold chain.

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  44. First off ZZZ short term disability is provided by insurers. So good on you that your company pays for a plan that provides 100% short term coverage, they are however…paying for it.
    Secondly, labelling me a fool for working there. Bravo. Great insight. Always foolish to work a full time job. Everyone has complaints about their job, and that is one of mine. Glad that your life is so rosy and you haven’t a single complaint…either that or your head is so far up your ass you can’t see the shit around you….like many in this region.

    My job is not low paying. Which is of course why i stay there and tolerate the little annoyances which come with it. I simply work for a company which has, over time, begun eroding the programs and benefits it provides to its workers. Look around folks…its happening EVERYWHERE!

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  45. What bluff are you calling? Clearly my comment about taking it outside was making fun of your internet tough guy solution to arguing on the internet. You don’t scare me because I’m not going to be an idiot and post identifying information about myself and even if I did….you’d do what exactly??? Try and fight me??. You are an internet tough guy because you are acting tough…on the internet. You made yourself look like a jackass and continue to do so by trying to act tough.

    You keep being a moronic jackass and feeding me dat delicious anger and tears…..mmmmm dat some tasty tough guy rage…..yum yum in the bum bum 🙂

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  47. we don’t have many employees but they can be off work and we still pay them. we don’t have any medical coverage ourselves and don’t provide that

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  49. Pfft, I’d rather have no medical coverage and work for you and The Bear, PG, than not! You guys would be awesome to work for!!

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  50. Can I have a job PG? 😉 I’m desperately looking for another gig as I am being ‘punished’ by this one (long story) and need to bump up my hours…

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  52. I saw the catvertising vid on The Blogess. She’s ridiculously hilarious if anyone needs a time killer, read her blog. Any entry at all is totally worth the time.

    And Hi everyone! I hope you’re all happy and healthy and as pumped as I am for the holidays!!

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  53. whatever dude, you win ok? Jesus fuck you’ve clearly been trolling here for the last few hours waiting for me to post something. Get a life. You started with the tough/fight talk, not me. I think this is a regular having a little bit of fun with me under this godzilla alias. Donk perhaps? She’s noticeably absent today..

    Anyways fuck you, and if this is Donk.. well touchee I guess.

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  54. you bitches are welcome to hang out but i can’t afford to pay you. also i don’t think you have the particular skills i need^^

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  58. It’s not me TJ. Why would I do that … I have no reason to …

    Godzilla doesn’t even sound like my writing …

    … saddened that you’d think that … I don’t troll that hard … Jeeeez.

    I’m absent from posting but get the occasional read because of many many exams in the next 3 weeks.

    It’s all cool. He’s taking up with you ’cause he knows you’ll reply …

    Chilllax bro. Like Xeno said.

    http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/entries&hellip;

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  60. DON’T CORRECT ME XENO I’LL HUNT YOU DOWN!!!!

    lol just kidding. lol Douchee, I think I’ll start using that. Gotta wait for the best time to bust it out though, that’s key.

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  61. lol I didn’t REALLY think it was you Donk.. it just seemed like a rouse. I apologize for implicating you.

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  62. maybe it’s the cookie fumes but i *mouse ears* you guys. i don’t remember how old the boy was, but we had a godzilla marathon. my stomach still hurts

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  63. mmm cookies paingirl , I really shouldn’t…but you only get to go around twice, And I’m not sure which trip this is ~;p

    Painy…if you do work in a bakery, I should pop in & buy something we don’t normally make ourselves …like cookies ~:)
    My honey likes to bake bread & doesn’t like to refrigerate or freeze it, so its a loaf about every second day)
    we both like to make pies, but its only once in awhile, except xmas of course. Although having the granddaughter over last time , she got the idea to bake peanut butter cookies & peanut butter with chocolate chunks

    I was official tester
    It took 3 tries to come to a decission ~:)

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  64. i do not, at this time, work in a bakery. that’s all i can say, what with the wpp and all^^

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  66. hlfgoddzilla, to suggest that Godzilla does not like beer makes you look like a moronic jackass. just saying…

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  67. u mad bra? I win. Godzilla out of fucking nowhere. No hard feelings there tough guy. You wouldn’t be the first person to up and run from a giant lizard….no shame in that at all.

    Great Value….I love you. You make my no no bits all tingly. Just saying…

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  71. Hypochondria anxiety OP , the ailments may seem fake, but in their minds and experiences they are quite real. I had a friend with it, and her body convinced itself of everything from tennis elbow to more serious inflictions. The doctors explained that if you tell yourself your body is sick or unhealthy, it will be. Kind of goes to show what a positive thought can do for you 🙂

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