Obviously at no fault of our own, but is it not suspect that by self proclaiming in a tavern that you would like to be arrested by an officer on a passing horse somehow warrants enough intrigue for an automatic unseemly dismissal from one of our more reputed downtown watering holes? In need of serious awakening is our ability to dismiss the jests of our busy patrons in a way that makes truer tides of conversation left lacking in the departments of our common courtesy. Upon entering this normally well kept establishment, it caught our eye seeing a passing patrol officer on an equestrian of fine nature which did cause our conversation quite an unexpected stir due to our mild previous festivities. Merrily seated and quickly acclimating to our expectations of thirst and temperature we were gravely disappointed by the stark disapproval of our topical discussion by our ill attentive server as demonstrated by our rapid expulsion from our strategic, palliative spirits endeavour. If not for other less salted Arachis laid grounds for which we found our means, the atmosphere would have been set to that drier than the prohibition era. It seems only in downtown Halifax you can bring a horse to a conversation, but you cannot get it a drink. —Kennedy and Monroe
This article appears in Nov 3-9, 2011.
Oh go scream “Allah Akhbar” in an airport, For Fuck Sake.
our *wordsmith* is back http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W_u4UTvk9w
Go away
I read the first sentence, scanned and gave up.
You suck, as a writer, bub.
Go mount an equestrian, Kennedy.
Use your words, Monroe.
Here’s hoping the next mounted patrol you encounter rides your fat head over. Just remember, a horseshoe will fit up your rectum with the proper amount of force.
speaking of horses, i will not bore you with my views on horse jumping, racing http://www.cbc.ca/sports/story/2011/11/06/…
Blah,blah,blah.
why exactly did you want to be arrested by a cop on horseback???
did you think you’d get a free horsey ride out of it?
Yes, a cop who is arresting someone is going to place them directly behind themselves on horseback… that makes a lot of sense.
I’d throw ya out too… you’ve obviously had too much already
I’m not even going to acknowledge this (except that I kind of just did). If we all ignore it, maybe it will go away.
FUCK ! ! ! ! !
& Petty calls me a more-on !
Sometimes pretentious dickery gets you a poke in the lips, consider yourself lucky you didn’t get one.
This bitch reminds me of Deadwood. I loved that show
Wish I were a horse so I could kick you in the fucking head……after you were ejected from the establishment.
If you talk the way you write they probably kicked you out for being an obnoxious shithead. I only got through the first two sentences, If I imagine this drivel being slurred by some drunken asshat you’re lucky you didn’t get the shit kicked out of you.
Hmmm do you notice how there are always two Likes for the Wordsmith’s bitches? I have a feeling it was this couple I sat next to at the Ardmore Tea Room one morning… they were writing a novel right there in the restaurant and it was just soooo funny. They were trying to make everything some sort of metaphor and it was just like.. so bad.
now now mel, i don’t think he/she should go away. after all this sandbox is infinite in it’s size
do us all a favor and spill hot coffee on them next time you see them.
we’ll know if we see another butch the next day entitled,
“scalding java disperses throughout our humble attire”
I think Ms. Monroe could use a big bag of prescription barbituates to calm down. And Mr. Kennedy should go for a relaxing stroll around the nearest grassy knoll.
But, it’s nice to see that Montrealman trusts us to help raise his grandkids.
It’s like you did a Mad Lib with a thesaurus…
Mission accepted.
Op, if you talk the same way you write, I’ll bet people make fun of you for sounding a bit too stuffy.
Fudge op. Wordsmith you are not. The words are diverse but they don’t read like speech, aka hella hard to get into.
Eh try again.
here ya go mel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJyp6XOQ15M
RSVPs
: Admiral Ivan (Nov.7, 3:46PM) –
“But it’s nice to see that Montrealman trusts us to help raise his grandkids.”
Indeed I do, Ivan, indeed I do. While Kennedy and Monroe are extremely precocious, both verbally and physically, I feel that they would nonetheless make excellent companions for your great-grandchildren. I say this because, if the pattern as evidenced in your genetic make-up continues, they will benefit from what is clearly the superior endowments of Kennedy and Monroe.
You wouldn’t by any chance remember their names, would you? If you can, I would be delighted to pass them along so that a rendevous might be arranged. In this day and age one cannot be too careful about the company one’s offspring keep. I trust your great-grandkids are still, for the most part, “compos mentis” and have not, as in your case, succumbed to the incipient ravages of dribbling senescence.
Do write back when you feel you have the strength.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
See, they published the first one of these pompous ramblings. I submitted a bitch that *I* thought was pretty funny about the fact that it got published, but it was never posted.
I still can’t believe they published it. Maybe the OP knows someone at The Coast, or works there themselves.
Talkin bout douchebaggery of yesterday or some shit.. fuck off my monitor.
naw, i’ve written shite that wasn’t posted. i don’t take it personally
wtf. Get back in your Occupy NS hot boxed tent OB.
OB, I bet you got thrown out because you were describing just exactly how you wanted to be arrested by the “mounted” Policeman and the horse he rode in on.
Try this one next time…”I used to be really into sadism, necrophilia, and beastiality, but then i realized I was just beating a dead horse”
http://www.threadbombing.com/data/media/4/…
Kennedy and Monroe? Why does “Happy Birthday Mr. President!” come to mind when I hear that?
So you walk into a bar and ask to be arrested by a mounted policeman? Hard to believe they haven’t heard that before isn’t it OP! Of course something could have been lost in translation the way you speak.Maybe they thought you said you wanted to be mounted by a policeman. Who knows.
It reminds me of those old Police Academy movies where those two knucklehead recruits would always wind up by accident in a gay bar where the patrons all dressed like policemen. They would end doing the tango with somew big burly guy. Maybe that’s what you were after OP.
Whatever happened to Steve Guttenburg? I digress.
seb was drooling at the thoughts of Horse Schlong
Thomas, I had a bitch that they didn’t publish, as well. Some you win, some you lose. oh well.
this post reminds me of Homer Simpson’s recollection of his night drinking after the Isotopes won the championship.
I bet your night went more like this…
You and your posse: “HOLY FUCK DUDE!! DID YOU SEE THAT FUCKIN COP ON THAT FUCKIN HORSE?!??!?!?! THAT IS SOME FUCKED UP SHIT RIGHT THERE!!!!!! MAN, LETS GET FUCKIN ARRESTED BY HIM!!! THAT’LL KICK FUCKIN ASS DUDE!!!! HURRY, WE GOTTA GET SOME FUCKING DRINKS FIRST BEFORE WE FUCKIN LEAVE!!!! HEY BITCH, GET US A ROUND OF FUCKIN BEERS!!!”
Bouncer: “Get the fuck out now!”
that has to be some dumb ass fuck’s idea of a playful evening of entertainment. so, you wanna get busted by a cop on a horsie do you? i can arrange that for you in about 5 seconds. all it would take is one private call to a bud of mine.
have horse, will bust your ass. but be warned o.p., they use batons to control crowds from horsieback, not play pattycake. eithe this person is totally whacked, or workingg up to it, by going to n.s.c.a.d.
Throwing a bunch of words together does not equal good writing.
Awful..
THE LINGUISTIC ORGASM, OR: LANGUAGE AS AN OBJECT OF BEAUTY AND DESIRE
As the saying about those seeking love goes, the commenters here have been “looking in all the wrong places.” Rather than simply convey a story – admittedly a bit odd – the goal of Kennedy and Monroe is to explore the cadences and rolling rythms of language itself and, it must also be admitted, they have done so very well.
Here language is not so much the “stuff of thought” in which a denotative rendering – what do they mean? – would suffice but rather language itself is held up as the object of beauty and desire and, yes, aesthetic but nontheless orgasmic satisfaction. Properly interpeted, therefore, Kennedy and Monroe’s bitch should not be seen as some sort of quotidian message to be conveyed and understood in those terms but rather as an orchestrated symphony of language which transcends the mundane and denotative contents conveyed by that language and, in serial, sequential and triumphant movements, proceeds inexorably to its thunderous climax.
Bravo Kennedy and Monroe!
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
——-
THE LINGUISTIC ORGASM, OR: LANGUAGE AS AN OBJECT OF BEAUTY AND DESIRE
——-
As a Bitch, it is a failure.
Your attempt to drum up some anger and insult is humorously noted, though!