Driving my usual route the past few weeks has been a bummer and albiet, a laugh. A certain “church” has decided to post “inspirational” messages to all those who have the opportunity to drive by. For example this week’s message is, “when you think your life couldn’t be any worse” and then we had last week’s of, “when you think you’ve made a huge mistake.” It’s like the most depressing messages ever!! I drive by and laugh thinking the worst thing I could think of doing for “my mistake” was attending your church! Please lighten up!! — Inspiration in humor
This article appears in Nov 25 – Dec 1, 2010.
Growing up in Edmonton in the early I remember seeing a church with a large “Jesus Saves” billboard on the lawn. Down the block was a grocery chain with it’s billboard “Safeway Saves You More”. *Narf*
yeah, just like when you get a bitch like this. you think bitches couldn’t get any stupider, but lo and behold, here comes this o.p., and their lame fucking bitch. go back to bed, and wake the fuck up to the real world. life is what it is, good or bad.
maybe you would be happier if those messages said, “GOOD MORNING, AND BY THE WAY ,YOU ARE DEAD, WELCOME TO YOUR ETERNAL HELL”. would that make you feel better o.p.?
speaking of hell, i just got back from there,montreal that is.place sucks.everyone so fucking stuck up. ah yes, the french thing.
The only way you’d get me inside a church is if that sign read: ‘FREE MONEY’.
any one been on wikileaks?
yes sheldon…my fave yard display is a santa bending over a manger. representing
“Jesus loves little children.” LOL…..hmmm….why does Father Lahee come to mind?
http://www.oddee.com/item_86516.aspx
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1TRxKp/www.h…
Gotta love how Pope Benny has loosened the rules regarding condoms and male prostitutes, Wouldn’t want some poor priest getting a nasty disease because some sinful twink led him into temptation. *Snort*
yeah old ratzy is a real man of the times…arsetard
those were awesome thanks seb
Indeed they were. Good on yer Seb. When they say that abstinence is the only acceptable method of birth control, you really want to ask them “Is it also the only acceptable way of preventing child abuse?. How’s that been working for ya?”
Oh, what’s the bloody point…. >: (
Good morning Bitchers! Happy December!!
My favourite Church sign ever was out in Fall River, it said “We may not be DQ but we serve good Sundays” I thought that was pretty cute and creative…made me want to attend.
nice one rc…we gots cookies at the shoppe. screee
I don’t know where to find this shop? Seriously…I’ve tried to figure out your hints here and there…but I’m very blond and you pretty much have to spell things out for me. lol. Right now my cold is so bad I can’t taste anything…so cookies would be wasted on me 🙁
Lighten up? I’m not sure exactly which type of church this was, but speaking as a former Roman Catholic…
They’re not allowed to masturbate or have sex before marriage… and if they do they have to spill those intimate moments to some creepy old guy in a dark closet or else they’ll go to hell to endure infinite torture at the hands of the Satan.
And you’re asking them to lighten up?
lol “the Satan”
Things could be much worse, LS. Someone could post a bitch that isn’t actually a bitch and that would then turn into a 400+ posts pseudo-argumentative orgy showcasing the “talents” of an incredibly full of himself 70-something scholar whose only friends are (in all likelihood) a bunch of whippets (the dogs, not the chocolate-coated marshmallow cookies) bragging (the scholar, not the whippets) about past achievements to the wrong audience. Now THAT kind of bitch would be insufferable. Oh wait…
We shouldn’t be reading those signs anyway. They take are eyes off the road and are a distraction. They should be illegal, lets wait for another bylaw. Sorry the texting while driving bitch from last week is still in my head. Got to get that outta there…
mais il y a toujours l’espoir de cette chienne frenchie
Good one, Frenchie. You nailed it.
As for Pope Benedick, who gave him the thumbs up to approve condoms – just like limbo a while back – did the Late J.C. appear on the inside of his Depends or what?
Nice one Frenchie!
wanna have some fun kiddies, make your own church signs.
http://www.images-graphics-pics.com/signs/…
The only “inspirational” sign I’ve noticed was when you take the exit to Milford, just past the car-pool lot and the first church you see has an inspirational sign. It often has a witty quote. I never noticed depressing ones. I think it’s more of a protestant thing to put “inspirational” signs outside their churches. Most Catholic churches I’ve been to just have the service times on their signs.
.
best sign ever,saw it in California,outside Bakersfield,it said…JESUS IS COMING,LOOK BUSY!..
Just down the highway from us someone had a sign painted on the roof of their house reading ” Jesus is alive” and three houses over painted on its roof was “so is Elvis”
Why would you even bother to read a sign outside of a church? What can a bunch of (mostly) educated and well to do people who give a percentage of their income to a man in the sky inspire you to do that you haven’t done already? Reading inspirational messages written on a church billboard is a complete waste of time, therefore I couldn’t care less what they say.
“speaking of hell, i just got back from there,montreal that is.place sucks.everyone so fucking stuck up. ah yes, the french thing.”
Go Habs! Ole Ole Ole!
“Holy Smoke, Holy Smoke, plenty bad preachers for The Devil to stoke. Feed ’em in feet first this is no joke. This is thirsty work making Holy Smoke”
Say it loud Brother. HALLELUJAH!
http://micksgrill.files.wordpress.com/2010…
Oh Man – I was up early one morning with the flu, couldn’t sleep and saw that Benny Hinn was on. What a disappointment. Where were the busty girls, the fast motion chases, the cute little old bald guy, Yakety Sax? Bloody false advertising that was. I vomited in outrage.
haha, when i googled benny hinn, there was benny hill
…And that’s as it should be, for I have no doubts at all as to which one has contributed more to the overall betterment of humanity. RAWK!