They say men are simple, and women are complicated, not really. Men like food, beer, isolation and sex. Women not the same but equally as simple. In a nut shell women bitch, bleed, eat and worry.
They bitch the day away, they bleed 1/4 of their lives, which leads to worry, bitching and eating. They eat the stuff that makes them feel good to only end up bitching about their looks because of the eating habits when they bleed. It’s true. It’s like a hen house when you’ve got a gaggle of women running their mouth until it’s time to leave.
On the other hand men like their alone time, down time if you will, away from the gaggle in the next room going on about nothing, while throwing in the occasional “I know…!”. Men are the custodians of the family. When it’s broken they fix it. Unlike women who are not handy bitch and complain, but don’t get the job done. Enter the telephone. The hotline to bitch and be bitched at, because it makes them feel better for someone to just listen, which men do in moderation. It’s that simple.
But to the women that use media to make themselves feel bad, that’s your problem, and the rest of the female spices’ problem.
Living with ‘Cinderella Syndrome’ is your own fault. You can’t blame anyone else or bitch your way out of your weak mindedness of self. Well, if you can then prescribe to life, it’s happening and changing every day. It’s so bad that 95% of women are wearing tights because it’s okay because every women is doing that, only to have an equally sexually desirable presentation to the male gender.
Men do care about looks, but on the same side don’t mind wearing the same pair of underwear for days. It’s that simple. —Driven By Madness
This article appears in Jan 17-23, 2013.
Wow
“I know…!”
….. no, wait.. I lost it…
Women still confuse me.
Hurr durr gender stereotypes.
Why do women bleed for 1/4 of their lives? How does eating Cheeto’s and CrapDonalds make you feel good? Does runny poop make you feel good as well? You were right about me liking isolated sex….. “I know…!”
And I’ll bet you call women ‘females’ as well. Other than the biological bleeding shit, myself and many others do not fit into your narrow, retarded criteria of women. Men like you make me wonder why women ever get married.
“Men like you make me wonder why women ever get married.” – Because of men like me, TTFN 😉
I joke, I joke
The sad story is that I’m incredibly far from getting married, but I just had to say it 🙂
I would agree with you OP UP to a point. Once men retire they turn into whiny, yappy yackers who top women’s yakking any day! They huddle in droves in Timmies and oogle every woman who dares enter during their early morning coffee klache. Why? I am not sure since they remind me of the dog chasing the car. What would he do if he caught it?????? Yeah and those underwear most of you wear for DAYS howsa bout burning them huh? They wouldn’t be going in my wash, I can tell ya that! And I must correct you on another point as well, most of us women enjoy isolation as well!
http://static1.fjcdn.com/comments/lt+Your+…
“Enter the telephone” I hate the telephone with a passion. It is the bane of my existence. I would rather smoke signals, carrier pigeons, a knight on a horse with a scroll, town crier, news paper advertisements to get a point accross than have a long drawn out phone convo, where guess what, NOTHING IS SAID. My mother is a talker, so I entertain her cause it keeps her happy and I love her, but other people I tell from the jump “yo, I ain’t about all that”. In person covos are better for me.
People function differently OP, and yes B put it right, you’re the captain of the stereotype train. Choo choo fucker.
“…a knight on a horse with a scroll…” – You summoned?
I even have a calligraphy set to make it more authentic for you, Donk.
Are we not going to address the “female spices’ problem”?
I’m fresh out and everything tastes so bland….
Let’s just throw in another gender dig while we’re at it…
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo…
Calligraphy. Nice touch.
I find a nice dry rub and slow cooking over peachwood works best for me Zedman.
My chick’n chili is to die for.
HAHAHA! You breeders make me laugh!
*Heh* Ivan said dry rub. 😛
Thanks for the reminder Meaty.
FYI – Anybody thinking of checking out Zero Dark Thirty, be advised, the first 30 minutes are pretty much pirated footage from Sebastian’s debutante ball. If I wanted to see that I’d just hang out on Gottingen, pretending to be schizo.
I was gonna argue and call you a misogynist, but I can’t because you’re right as fuck. I just got off da rag and um up 5 lbs from da multiple Needs runs for mini pizzas and mars bars. Now to find an ear to bend about my perpetual ‘starts-monday’ diet… Ah fuck it, diet’s over…on to the comfort food!
lord, this guy is one of the compelling reasons for my anti-evolutionary species (spices??) die-out programme.
men – stick to men. go fuck yourselves silly in the toilets then watch hockey and throw pizza crusts at each other. fart in your leather recliners and wave your holey gitch.
women, stick to other women, eat as much chocolate as you want to, paint toenails and watch sleepless in seattle establish committees that trash everyone not in today ‘in group’
what stupid stereotyping. op, if you have that little understanding of women you really should jump the fence.
Well OB, iwas getting a chuckly out of yer rant, then i got to the part about wearing underwear for several days !
Bud I have never & will never …. I may wear the same pair of jeans for more than a couple of days, but the underwear are fresh each day !
I’m quite surprised you never said “never trust anyone who can bleed for a week & not die!” It’d fit right into yer rant ~;P
Gee all you had to say was “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,” and that would have saved you several hundred words, and many people 3 minutes of their time.
geeze, i should read what i write before posting. not ‘understanding of women’. i should have said ‘if you have this much contempt for women you really should jump the fence’
Captain, that is not a sad story. Marriage ain’t for the faint at heart but if you have trust and respect for each other, you can handle the highs and lows that inevitably will come your way.
I’ve seen way too many nice guys marry some stupid little bitch who demands all his time, all his attention only to make his life a living hell if he dares shows any hint of independence. By the time she divorces him, he’s a shadow of his former self, forever to be controlled by some money-hungry loon who happened to plop out your babies three at a time.
I’ve also seen too many women marry cocky cheating-ass losers, hoping to reform them to a one woman man – you might as well wish for a toonie-sized festering boil in the middle of your forehead.
So, my advice to you, young Captain, live with someone at least a decade before you marry them. Time shows all.
——-
What would he do if he caught it??????
——-
he would put his penis in it.
Dipschitt.
PisP
i endorse ttfn’s advice
(the sweet dripping irony of being involved with a class A, ninth degree pussy hound, and of complaining (jealously) about men at a coffee shop looking at girls)
(PisP)
OP. It’s “men” like you that give us real men that respect women the stereotype “pigs” and a”assholes”.
Let’s just hope you’re a TROLL.
I’m told there are caring,compassionate,sensitive,patient and loving men out there.
There are lots of great dudes out there but are often overlooked because they’re too ‘nice’. Just like there’s men out there who actually loathe professional sports of any kind – hockey’s back? He doesn’t give a fuck – now, that’s my type of guy.
and yet , without women, you wouldn’t exist. I assume this is a fake or some sort of steam-blowing otherwise get knotted OP.
Oh Captain — you’re young, smart and a nice guy. I doubt you’re going to have problems meeting a lady in the years to come. So don’t worry. Dudes like you don’t come along every day, and you’ll get snatched up.
Also: the people I do any bitching with are always guys. I have one male friend (who’s straight!) who calls me to bitch things out whenever he’s got something to bitch about.
TTFN + pretty kitty – Thanks for the pep talks! I feel I can bear the brunt of any storm with your words of wisdom as my guiding star!
I know I’ve been accused of being too nice, as if politeness was an undesirable trait?! I used to get upset when I would see lovely ladies with ass-hats for boyfriends, and I would think, “Why not give the Captain a shot instead?”. I’m over that phase now, content to sit and wait instead of constantly being on the ‘hunt’ for a partner.
Although, I wouldn’t mind if whoever is going to be snatching me up stopped taking their sweet damn time!
So… First mission: Get a girl to live with me for one day… we’ll plan ahead from that point.
Spend $200 on drugs and liquor and spread the word on dal campus…
you’ll be fighting the girls off to come spend the day with ya until it’s gone.
Mission accomplished.
If you’re looking for more of a long term setup, I know this newly available place in Upper Chelsea, Lunenburg County that’s designed to keep people around….
The chains are adjustable.
$200, eh? And you’re sure it’ll work?
THE ADVENTURES OF STUPIDMAN
“Look up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Stupidman!”
Assuming this bitch is not just a stupid joke, Stupidman admirably fulfills the criteria of across-the-board stupidity. Stupidity consists of confusing one’s stupid opinions with objective truth. A few boring examples from Stupidman will suffice:
Do you know what men like? They like “food, beer, isolation and sex.” There you go. According to Stupidman that’s what men like and whatever Stupidman thinks is so. Do you know what women like? They like to “bitch, bleed, eat and worry.” That’s right. It’s right because Stupidman says it’s right.
Do you know why women bitch about their looks? For Stupidman it all comes down to their bleeding. According to Stupidman, “They eat the stuff that makes them feel good to only end up bitching about their looks because of their eating habits when they bleed. It’s true.” You know why it’s true? Because Stupidman said so, that’s why. It’s also why Stupidman is stupid. He confuses his own stupid opinions with objective truth. That’s called stupidity.
And the women “that (sic) use media to make themselves feel bad, that’s your problem, and the rest of the female spices (sic) problem.” Stupidman is so stupid that he doesn’t understand the word “species” which, in any case is wrong since women are not a separate “species” from men. Both belong to the same species but Stupidman is so stupid he doesn’t know this. That’s because Stupidman is stupid.
Stupidman next sinks into incoherence. “Well,” he asserts in respect to women, “if you can’t then prescribe (sic) to life, it’s happening and changing every day.” What can that possibly mean? Of course, it means precisely nothing but, in Stupidman’s mind, it’s a rare insight into the female gender. But Stupidman is so stupid that he is unable to even grasp the incoherence of his utterances. That’s called stupid.
And do you know why women wear tights? According to Stupidman, “95% of women are wearing tights because every women (sic) is doing that, only to have an equally sexually desirable presentation to the male gender.” That’s why women wear tights. Stupidman has said so. But how does he know this? Don’t you realize? Stupidman doesn’t need and grounds for his claims. They are self-validating, at least in Stupidman’s stupid brain.
Men, on the other hand, “don’t mind wearing the same pair of underwear for days. It’s that simple.” There you go. Stupidman doesn’t say how he knows this. He must be referring to his own stinking underwear. But it doesn’t matter any more. For Stupidman, whatever he says is so. Isn’t that clear by now?
Stupidman is so stupid that he doesn’t recognize his own stupidity for what it is. That’s the definition of the truly stupid. That’s why I call him “Stupidman”.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!
Captain… even if it doesn’t work…
that’s still a pretty kick ass day.
Keep a camera handy though…
Zed days have been known to get out of hand and you may have to review for the inevitable explanations required by authority.
True Story, zZz
Consider it done!
Lol wow someone seems a little bit bitter about the opposite sex
Very.
PisP
TTFN …Hockeys back on !?!
Who gives a rats ass.
My lover tells me one of the things she likes about me is, I’ll do a fast head turn check out something when we’re out & about …& its a new tractor, or a dual wheel trailer with a full back ramp (cause I need a new one)
She says I’m the only person she’s been with that doesn’t check out the ‘pretty girls’ when were out driving …. My problem I guess is I don’t see them, or even notice them unless they are in front of my trucK Then I pay attention ~;)
But seriously, are many men really checking out any/every female thats moving around them ??? Kinda sad IMO.
I check out everyone around me, guy/girl, young/old, sexy/not sexy, dogs/cats… It must be some sort of compulsion, I just need to look at everyone and everything around me. Don’t want anybody sneaking up and surprising the Captain.
I’ve gotten dirty looks before, I’m guessing people thought I was ‘checking them out’ instead of just observing them.
hypervigilance is a great life skill, esp in urban setting. it doesn’t translate or morph into paranoia or mistrust. i actually think it allows one to be more trusting and open, because you have already ‘vetted up down and sideways. good book Gift of Fear. about trusting your instincts. have a little faith in what a couple million years of survival has taught our cells.
Nice one, Good Dog. Urban survival skills and genetic intuition…
I guess that’s why I’m such a talented jaywalker. I barely even need to look anymore, my 8th sense takes care of tracking the danger for me >;D
‘Gift of fear’ – You’d recommend?
yes! great book. author gavin de becker. sub title ‘survival skills that protect us from violence’. if library doesn’t have it, i can drop off at the bike shop, if you are familiar with it.
i love lending books.
Whoa, we’ve never even met and you’re willing to lend me precious literature? You. are. cool.
Why can’t everyone be as trusting?
I do appreciate the offer, Good Dog, but I’m currently eyeballs deep in Richard Dawkins ‘The Ancestors Tale’. Then it’s on to Pillars of the Earth, which literally EVERYONE has told me to read.
i always have 3 books on the go at any one time ….NP. anytime you think of it, i will drop it off.
books, like love, should be freely given out.
Free Love… what a concept
“books, like love, should be freely given out.” Absolutely. If, and only if, you’re prepared to leave a kidney (functioning) or firstborn child as surety. >: )
^^^^ pbbbttttt
I just got A Memory of Light , by Robert Jorden …he may be dead !
But the story continues.
LMFAO >: )
♥
MORE! You lucky bastard! I didn’t think it came out until March?!
This is going to sound terrible, but the books actually got better after he died :S (Well done Brandon Sanderson)
Towers of Midnight was just friggen EPIC!
I was going to side with OB for the fun of it until I read the part about dudes liking to wear the same draws for more than one day. Fuck that. No wonder the bitches don’t like you, OB. You won’t get the hunnies or the pussy by telling the bitches that those are bacon strips printed on the back of your boxers, man.
i stopped reading after the 6th or 7th book in that series, i like trilogies except for game of thrones. i’m just waiting for him to write the last two in the series, i don’t watch the show but i hear it’s good. i’m waiting for the *walkers*
…and i really enjoyed pillars of the earth, he wrote “the eye of the needle” which was a great movie
paingirl – It’s worth the time spent to get through the whole series. When everything (the 500 separate god-damn story lines) starts to tie together towards the end… oh man, it gave me goosebumps!
i have many books to read, in print and on the screen. it’s too late for that particular ship, it has sailed
And the winner of the best comment on here today is….MM.
Congratulations, that was perfect.
RSVP
: kelifax (01/25, 1:52AM)
Thank you kelifax. It was good, wasn’t it.
A pleasure as always.
Cheerio!